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10 simple tips for new bottoms

By Zachary ZaneApril 18 2016 / 3:40 PMZachary ZaneZachary Zane is a Brooklyn-based sex and dating expert, columnist, activist, and author of 'Boyslut: A Memoir and Manifesto' and co-author of 'Men’s Health: Best. Sex. Ever.' See Full Bio

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Tips for New Bottoms

If you’re new to anal sex, let me be honest with you: Bottoming can hurt. The good news: It only hurts if you don’t know what you’re doing. The bad news: Since you’ve never had penetrative sex before as the receiver, odds are you don’t know what you’re doing. It’s a completely new bodily sensation, being penetrated, and it takes practice. Unfortunately, sex ed typically doesn’t cover same-sex sex or butt play, and it’s seldom discussed in mainstream media. But we’re here to help you turn that pain into pleasure. So here are 10 tips for the gay/bi man new to bottoming.

1. Lube is your best friend

There's no such thing as too much lube. Especially for your first few times, you want to be as lubricated as possible, to help your man slip right in.

2. Cut your fingernails

Are they cut now? Good. Now cut them shorter and file the jagged edges. You will want finger yourself to loosen up, and long nails could scratch you. Your nails can’t be too short.

3. Practice in the shower

Now that your nails are freshly manicured, practice fingering yourself in the shower. It will help you get used to the sensation and prepare you for the real deal.

4. Fight the urge to clench

Your natural response will be to clench. You need to fight this urge, but you don’t need to push out either; you just need to relax. Your body will naturally loosen up with repeated penetration.

5. Go slow

Take your time to get the whole thing inside you. Don’t start off by letting your partner ram you. Take as much time as you need to get comfortable, and when things start to feel good, then, and only then, you can ask him to go a little faster and harder (if you’d like).

6. Pee beforehand

The first time I bottomed, I was convinced I had to pee repeatedly. Also, side note, the harder you’re penetrated, the more it feels like you have to pee. This is due to the prostate stimulation. So pee beforehand, and expect that feeling to occur. You’ll understand the sensation more with practice.

7. It can feel like you’re pooping

$7. It can feel like you\u2019re pooping$

The only other experience you’ve had with your anus thus far in life is pooping. So it’s no surprise that, in the beginning, it often feels like you’re pooping (which is also why you feel a natural urge to clench). The association with pooping will go away with repeated experience.

8. Clean beforehand

This has more to do with psychological pleasure. You won’t be fully present in the moment or enjoy it if you’re worried you’re unclean. You can use an enema if you’d like, but it’s often unnecessary. A soapy finger or baby wipes works too. You can also gently flush the area out with a slender ear syringe. It uses less water than an enema or douche and can clean you out fully.

9. Express exactly what you want

Communicate what feels good and what hurts. Tell him to go faster or slower or to switch positions. Especially for a first-timer, the bottom needs to be vocal and in control. Anal sex feels different for everyone and there’s no way your top will know what feels good without you directly communicating your needs and desires.

10. Wear a condom

And of course, safe sex is pleasurable sex. Always wrap it up.

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Charlie Puth has been thirsty on main as of late!

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— (@)

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Cheyenne Jackson, Brian J. Smith, Colton Haynes

Only a select group of actors have gotten to play Superman on the big screen in blockbuster live-action films and TV shows featuring the DC Comics superhero – and they’ve all been straight-presenting men.

During a recent interview with Vanity Fair, Luke Macfarlane revealed that his own agent told him that the DC hero couldn’t possibly be played by a gay man. “I can literally remember an agent once saying to me, ‘Superman can’t be gay’ – like just straight out,” the actor recalled. This was a very disappointing experience for Macfarlane, who wanted to audition for the role of young Clark Kent on Smallville but was clearly discouraged by his team.

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In 2006, DC cast Brandon Routh for a new sequel in the original Superman series of films: Superman Returns. That new installment picked things back up from Superman II, which means that it disregarded the third and fourth sequels starring Reeve. Even though the movie received mostly positive reviews, it didn’t go on to have any continuity.

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Luke Macfarlane

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Matt Bomer

Best known for Magic Mike, The Normal Heart, and In Time, Matt Bomer was practically born to play a live-action Clark Kent. Bomer has the face, physique, and acting chops for it, so it’s truly wild that he’s never gotten to play the DC hero.

Cheyenne Jackson

Cheyenne Jackson has appeared multiple times on American Horror Story, as well as TV shows like 30 Rock, Glee, and Call Me Kat. All things considered, Jackson would be another pretty perfect choice of a queer actor to play Superman on television or in film.

Brian J. Smith

Sense8, Stargate Universe, and The Matrix Resurrections star Brian J. Smith would be another amazing casting choice to play the Man of Steel. Smith has proven over the course of his career that he has the necessary charisma for Clark Kent and the required physique to pull off the action sequences from Superman.

Conrad Ricamora

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Zane Phillips

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Jonathan Bailey

Bridgerton star Jonathan Bailey would be another great actor if Hollywood ever looked for a queer actor to play DC’s Man of Steel. Bailey has shown a lot of range on the hit Netflix series, so he could bring out a lot of different sides to Clark Kent as well.

Jeremy Pope

Jeremy Pope is best known for starring on FX’s Pose and Netflix’s Hollywood, and he is now set to star in the upcoming film The Inspection. Even though audiences have never seen a Black actor portraying a live-action Superman, certain comic books have featured Black characters as the superhero – and Pope would be perfect for the role.

Charlie Carver

Charlie Carver has come a long way since starring on Teen Wolf. As of late, Carver is best known for appearing on Ratched and The Boys in the Band. This is another actor who has a similar bone structure and physique that have become associated with live-action versions of Clark Kent, which makes him a great choice.

Colton Haynes

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Tips for New Bottoms

1. Lube is your best friend

2. Cut your fingernails

3. Practice in the shower

4. Fight the urge to clench

5. Go slow

6. Pee beforehand

7. It can feel like you’re pooping

8. Clean beforehand

9. Express exactly what you want

10. Wear a condom

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