10 Ways To Be More Dominant | Power Dynamics™

How do you become a dominant man without being a jerk?

True dominance isn’t about aggression or bullying. It’s about projecting confidence, asserting yourself, and commanding respect in a way that others respond to.

And when done right, effective dominance helps you gain status, respect, and attraction—whether in your career, social circle, or dating life.

As the leading resource on social power dynamics, we’ve taught thousands of good men how to develop high-status behavior. In this guide, you’ll learn 10 simple but powerful behaviors that show you’re a confident, dominant man—without ever overcompensating or trying too hard.

Contents

• 1. Lead
  • 1.2. Move First
  • 1.3. Lead Your Dates (Dating)
• 2. Strategic Host Behavior™
  • 2.2. Address The Group
  • 🔎 Over-doing The Host: Obama VS Putin
  • 🐍 2.3. “Show” The View
• 3. Assign Tasks
  • 🛡️ 3.2. Reject Tasks When Disrespectful
• 4. Minimize Visible Effort
  • 4.2. Let Others Come to You
  • 🟡 4.3. Use Pauses to Exert Social Pressure
  • 4.4. Use Nonverbals
• 5. Low Emotional Investment Signaling™
• 6. Touch Others (When Appropriate)
  • 6.2. Touch With “Affectionate Dominance”
  • 🛡️ 6.3. Defend Against Inappropriate Touching
  • 🟢 6.4. Lead Affectionate Displays With Friends
• 7. Defer With Power
• 8. Stand Your Ground
  • 8.2. Stand Your Jokes & Comments
  • 8.3. Stand Your Physical Ground
• Develop Effective Dominance™

1. Lead

Dominant men are leaders.And dominant behavior enhances perceptions of competence regardless of actual competence (Anderson & Kilduff, 2009).

Leading signals social confidence and high status.

1.2. Move First

General principle facing uncertainty:

⚖️ Lower-status men look around while dominant men take initiative

Ie.:

• Speak up
• Greet newcomers
• Walk first

🔎 Example:

Tony: (Starts walking up the stairs) <— While people are tentative in new environments, Tony (over)-confidently leads the way on his first time thereOmar: (Annoyed, rushes in front and brushes Tony)

⬆️♟️ Strategic Considerations: let your superior go firstTony bulldozzes upward, without political considerations. This is dominant, but may not be positively dominant. Advancing while maintaining relationships is often more effective.

🛠️ PRO Tip: As an official leader, leverage group expertise for the best responseInvolve your best experts to craft the best response and you’ll be a more effective leader.

1.3. Lead Your Dates (Dating)

Effective dominance is crucial in dating.And one of the most effective ways to combine dominance with dating success is to lead forward, and adding warmth.

Some ways of displaying win-win leadership include:

• Move her away if a fight erupts
• Guide her
  • hand walking in front
  • Arm in arm
  • Hand on her lower back
• Help her get up

🔎 Example:

Him: (offers his hand to help her up)

⬆️♟️ Not just gallant, but effectiveLetting her go first sets the frame that it’s also her decision to leave together. Prevents future games and increases attraction. Plus, it’s the mix of leadership and gallantry women dream of (and a healthy approach to maintain relationship leadership and attraction). This is effective dominance.

Video in Power University.

2. Strategic Host Behavior™

Host Behavior™ refers to behaviors and frames that signal authority, expertise, or ownership in a given environment—physical or social—while guiding others—often projecting power subtly through kindness and service-oriented prosociality

Host behavior is perfect Effective Dominance because they’re often automatically dominant and warm.Some typical host behavior:

• “After you”, when through doors or boarding/exiting
• ‘Follow me’ gestures
• “You can sit here“ invites
• Checking in with people, ensuring they’re doing well
  • 🛠️ Ask ‘How is your night going‘ or ‘How was your X‘, and you lead from the first move

Good host behavior is high power and high warmth because the host leads, while also caring for others.

Leader: (invites in, rotates towards the forward direction) After youFollower: (focusing on the leader)

⬆️♟️ Great mix of power and warmthHe looks halfway between guest and direction. The guest, focused on the leader, yields control of the environment. This is also effective dominance.

2.2. Address The Group

Whenever appropriate, address the full group and you almost automatically become high status.

A great way to do it is with ‘service leadership’, for example:

• Get the check first ➡️ Count how much it is for each, announce it to all
• Propose a place to higher-status individuals, decide ➡️ Announce it to the group.
• Open Google Maps first ➡️ Lead the group

🔎 Over-doing The Host: Obama VS Putin

Remember: balance and calibration.

If they guide you without being hosts, it’s a power move.But if they’re genuine hosts, they’re doing their job. Act high power, but don’t steal their role.

Obama tried to take the host role:

Obama: Where would you like to sit (shows Putin the way)Putin: (walks from behind, shows Obama where he can sit) <— Curt, but forced to do it to defend his genuine host role

⬆️♟️ Strategy: let Putin go firstObama was ahead, but unsure what to do.He could have:

• Let Putin go first through the door saying “after you”
• Strategically slow down or stop near the banquet to let Putin catch up
• Say “Thank you for this” to self-frame as being served
• Casually ask “Looks amazing, where shall we sit” <— The simplest and most natural solution is often best

🐍 2.3. “Show” The View

A common power move among politicians.Example:

Trump:(opens up pointing to something on his left)Macron: (opens up and tries to Make Trump follow on his left)

Macron did it because he “played at home” in France. And Trump did it because he’s Trump :).

3. Assign Tasks

Principle:

⚖️ Powerful men tell others what to do (task) and low-power men execute.

🛡️ 3.2. Reject Tasks When Disrespectful

Dominant men task others even they lack formal authority (see “types of political players“).

However, you lose status when others task you without authority.And you lose even more when they’re not respectful (ie, without “power protecting“).

You must defend your boundaries—lest you lose status, respect, and attraction-.

In this example, a guy reached out to me as the president of the local Toastmasters:

⬆️👨🏼‍🏫He had no right to task me like that because of social exchange dynamics.We provide free self-development opportunities. So it’s on him to make it easier on me. Cherry on the pie: his tone.P.S.:He was SUPER friendly in person. That always happens after dominance showdowns.

See more on tasking and executing strategies:

• How to maintain power while performing other people’s tasks

10 Ways to Maintain Power When Executing Orders

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More in PU 🔜.

4. Minimize Visible Effort

Remember the social ROI matrix:

⚖️ Less effort for more reward = more power

Ie., it’s more dominant to:

• Invest less than others in the interaction/relationship
• Speak less while getting the same attention/buy-in/execution
• Move less while others come to you

4.2. Let Others Come to You

General principle:

⚖️ Lower-value seeks higher-value

Hillary: (bolts off stage like a schoolkid)Trump: (remains grounded and lets everyone else come to him)

⬆️♟️ Trump looks the “presidential part”Hillary’s actions raise doubts about her ability to protect voters’ interests.

⚠️ Careful with high-energy attention-seeking🐍 Get attention without looking like you chase it or crave it.

🟡 4.3. Use Pauses to Exert Social Pressure

General principle:

⚖️ Confident men handle silence and tension better than less confident men.

🔎 Example:

Him: (Intense) What do you love about itHer: (Gets tense. Pours her heart into her reply)

⬆️♟️ THIS is effective “vulnerability”After he’s shown power, then vulnerability makes him “positively safe”. See ‘how to do vulnerability right‘.

4.4. Use Nonverbals

Negative nonverbals are especially dominant.Disapproval for example sub-communicates failure to meet your standards.

⛏️ Video examples

👉🏼Watch out. Facial expressions can be passive-aggressive instead of dominant.Power University explains when to use and when not.

5. Low Emotional Investment Signaling™

Investment Signaling™ refers to strategically controlling how much time, energy, or resources you use in interactions. High-investment signaling can display financial abundance and increase ‘social credits’, but emotional investment signals eagerness and frame yourself as lower value, whereas low-investment signaling conveys independence and higher value.

Principle:

⚖️ The less invested party signals high self-sufficiency and value, while the more invested party chases and sub-communicates lower-value

Longer texts, over-texting, or initiating more often as in the previous examples all signal higher investment.

🔎 Example:

Her: (emotionally highly invested)Him: (emotionally uninvested, leaves)

⬆️ Many of the most attractive cinematic figures of power masculinity displayed lower emotional investment.

6. Touch Others (When Appropriate)

Principle:

⚖️ The higher the power, the more the freedom to touch and move closer

Welcomed touching is high power but win-win. Unwelcomed touching and ‘invasion of space’ are domineering power moves.

As The APA Handbook of Nonverbal Behavior states, ‘more dominant men touch others more, and will invade personal space more, than less dominant men’ (Knapp & Hall, 2010).

⚠️ In doubt, avoid touching Touching and personal distances are contextual. Since it’s not strictly necessary for status or respect and it’s easy to overdo it, avoid it if in doubt.

6.2. Touch With “Affectionate Dominance”

These can be “motherly touches”:

• Patting
• Cheek pinching
• Face touching (🔎Brando in The Godfather)
• Temple kissing (🔎 Trump on Macron)

🔎 Example:

Tony Robbins: (laughs, kisses his temple) I love you son of a bitch (pats Gary on the belly)

♟️ Gary does OK ignoring, but touching back would have been betterGary doesn’t let that sidetrack him 👍🏼. Better yet: 1. Touch Robbins back saying “Thanks” but without looking at him; 2. ‘Say “but seriously though” to demand Robbins pay attention; 3. Move on

6.2.3. “Fix” Their Looks or Personal Items 💪🏼

Since this is something couples mostly do, it’s a power move from anyone else.

• Preening
• Fixing shirt collar
• Adjusting tie
• Removing lint
• …

Power players use fixing as an excuse for a power move.🔎 Example: Trump with Macron.

👉🏼 Even when value-adding, encroaching personal space is still a power move.

🛠️ PRO Tip: Power-protect before helpingIe.: 1. Do it privately rather than publicly2. Ask “May I“3. Justify your move, e.g.: “Bro, there is a lint, lemme remove it“

🛡️ 6.3. Defend Against Inappropriate Touching

For example:

• Touching personal stuff without asking
  • 🛡️ Touch them back to even the scores. If they take from you, resist it

• Taking some of your food
  • 🛡️ Say ‘Ask for it bro (I’d say yes, but ask)‘. Or highlight it with humor if they’re higher status ‘Yeah keep up the dominance displays‘

Some domineering men may try to intimidate you via third parties:

• Bullying someone else, including “jokingly”
• Raging in your presence, kicking a chair
  • 🔎 Mobster in Carlito’s Way slaps a chair

🛡️ Never be intimidatedDisplay that you’re unaffected by opening a new topic or talking to someone else. If you can, make light of it. For example, ‘chill bro’ or one-up with a joke such as ‘that chair took some mean beating’.

A good self-defense example is in Power University.

🟢 6.4. Lead Affectionate Displays With Friends

Confidence and dominance are NOT synonymous with pushing others down.

Instead, we highly recommend using your dominance to lift others up, and develop good win-win relationships.

Be the first to initiate friendship gestures with your friends for the best of both worlds:

Leader: (opens up his arms for a hug)

⬆️♟️ Great mix of power and warmth🙋🏼‍♂️ I also often initiate a hug with my friends

7. Defer With Power

This is crucial for all beginners:

You can be a subordinate AND still be confident and respect-worthy.

Alonzo: (confidently asks for permission) OK?High-power underling: (turns towards the decision-maker slowly, quietly, and with purpose) <— Defers with high power composure. EFfective dominance calibrated to the lower status role

👆🏼♟️Notice the slow speed, the silence, the purposefulness.

8. Stand Your Ground

8.2. Stand Your Jokes & Comments

Dr. No: Do you know much about guns, Mr. Bond?Bond: No (looks away). I know a little about women (looks straight at him, holds the silence)

8.3. Stand Your Physical Ground

Principle:

⚖️ Lower-status men move for higher-status men

Ie.:

Low Power	High Power
Steps out of the way	Walk straight or take half a step. Expect others to give some space
Moves sideways 🔜	Stays straight
“Slinks in” half-open doors	Open doors fully. Push sliding doors open when in a rush
Crunches over when it drizzles	Walks straight (cause you’ll get wet anyway)
Waits on escalators or apologetically squeaks by	Nudges & reminds people of his right of way

🔎 Nudging for your right of way

In Power University Lucio shows how to do it in real life.

Develop Effective Dominance™

Effective Dominance™ refers to balanced and calibrated dominance to achieve the benefits of high dominance, while avoiding commonly associated costs such as loss of prestige, antagonizing high-value people, or social exclusion

Dominance follows the law of optimum balance and calibration: it’s great when calibrated, and when within an ‘optimum continuum’ that depends on context and goals.When dominance is too low, you move into ‘too nice guy’ territory. And when it’s too much and uncalibrated, you become aggressive, overbearing, and obnoxious, creating issues both interpersonally and in social hierarchies—people dislike you, isolate you, or actively confront you.

Effective Dominance looks at dominance amorally, and refers only to optimal behavior to achieve goals. That may, unfortunately, include coercion or bullying tactics, at times.For that reason, we usually prefer an Honorable Dominance™, which adds an ethical layer of preferring win-win, uplifting, and avoiding bullying others, even when doing so could benefit you.

Learn more:

• Dominant expressions (what you must do more)
• Submissive body language (what you must get rid of)
• Submissive expressions (what you must avoid saying)
• Alpha male body language for poses and movements

While this article showed you to be dominant, Power University shows you to become effectively dominant through a structured system and practical exercises—so you get the benefits without the costs:

🦅 This is a Power University preview. Alumni go to the curriculum for the full system + exercises🦅