10 Ways To Know If A Hug Is Romantic - WikiHow

Skip to ContentQuizzes

• PRO Courses Hot Guides Tech Help Pro Expert Videos About wikiHow Pro Upgrade
• QUIZZES All Quizzes Hot Love Quizzes Personality Quizzes Trivia Quizzes Taylor Swift Quizzes
• EDIT Edit this Article
• EXPLORE Tech Help ProAbout UsRandom ArticleQuizzes Request a New ArticleCommunity DashboardTrendingForums Arts and EntertainmentArtworkBooksMoviesComputers and ElectronicsComputersPhone SkillsTechnology HacksHealthMen's HealthMental HealthWomen's HealthRelationshipsDatingLoveRelationship Issues Hobbies and CraftsCraftsDrawingGamesEducation & CommunicationCommunication SkillsPersonal DevelopmentStudyingPersonal Care and StyleFashionHair CarePersonal Hygiene Quizzes Love Quizzes Personality Quizzes Fun Games Arts and EntertainmentFinance and BusinessHome and GardenRelationship Quizzes Cars & Other VehiclesFood and EntertainingPersonal Care and StyleSports and Fitness Computers and ElectronicsHealthPets and AnimalsTravel Education & CommunicationHobbies and CraftsPhilosophy and ReligionWork World Family LifeHolidays and TraditionsRelationshipsYouth
• LOG IN

  Log in

  Social login does not work in incognito and private browsers. Please log in with your username or email to continue. Facebook Google wikiHow Account No account yet? Create an account
• RANDOM

• Home
• Random
• Browse Articles
• TrendingNew
• Quizzes & Games
• All QuizzesHot
• Love Quizzes
• Personality Quizzes
• Fun Games
• Dating Simulator
• Learn Something New
• Forums
• Courses
• Happiness Hub
• Explore More
• Support wikiHow
• About wikiHow

• Log in / Sign up

Terms of Use wikiHow is where trusted research and expert knowledge come together. Learn why people trust wikiHow

• Categories
• Relationships
• Social Interactions

12 Signs a Hug is *Definitely* Romantic, According to Experts Download Article Decode the real meaning behind that hug from your crush Explore this Article IN THIS ARTICLE 1 Physical closeness 2 Arm placement 3 Hand position 4 Body positioning 5 Body language 6 Contact between body parts 7 Hand movements 8 Eye contact and smile 9 Length and timing 10 Reason for the hug 11 Frequency 12 Words + Show 9 more... - Show less... Other Sections Expert Q&A VideoWATCH NOW Tips and Warnings Related Articles References Co-authored by Imad Jbara and Sophie Burkholder, BA

Last Updated: November 7, 2025 Fact Checked

Download Article ARTICLE VIDEO X

This article was co-authored by Imad Jbara and by wikiHow staff writer, Sophie Burkholder, BA. Imad Jbara is a Dating Coach for NYC Wingwoman LLC, a relationship coaching service based in New York City. 'NYC Wingwoman' offers matchmaking, wingwoman services, 1-on-1 Coaching, and intensive weekend bootcamps. Imad services 100+ clients, men and women, to improve their dating lives through authentic communication skills. He has a BA in Psychology from the University of Massachusetts Dartmouth. There are 9 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page. This article has been fact-checked, ensuring the accuracy of any cited facts and confirming the authority of its sources. This article has been viewed 430,632 times.

Hugs can be so ambiguous! If you received a hug from someone and you're wondering what it meant, we're here to help. We talked to romance and relationship experts to get the scoop on figuring out if a hug is romantic or platonic (some of the signs they shared are actually pretty surprising!). Keep reading to figure out what that hug really meant so you know how to move forward.

How to Tell if a Hug is Romantic

If the hug is only a short, light squeeze, it's probably just a friendly gesture. But if the person hugs you tightly, puts their arms around your waist, presses your lower bodies together, or holds on for a long time, there's a good chance the hug is romantic.

Steps

1

Physical closeness

Download Article

1. The tighter the squeeze, the more affection the person has for you. The affection of a tight hug can be friendly or romantic, though, so it’s probably best not to judge based on pressure alone. The exception is if they gave you a super limp or loose hug since that usually implies neutral feelings rather than romantic ones.[1]
   • Consider how much space was between your bodies. Did they press their body against yours? If so, they might have romantic feelings for you. If they pressed their hips or pelvis against yours, they’re almost certainly into you.
   • A loose or rigid hug is a little different than a gentle hug. A warm, gentle hug could be a sign of tenderness or friendship.[2]
Advertisement

2

Arm placement

Download Article

1. Did they use one or both arms to hug you? One arm around the neck or shoulder is usually a buddy hug. If they hug with both arms around your neck, consider other things like how tightly they squeezed you and what other body parts were touching during the hug. If they came in under your armpits and put both arms around your upper body, that’s pretty friendly.[3]
   • On the other hand, putting both arms around your waist and pulling you closer can definitely indicate romantic feelings.

3

Hand position

Download Article

1. Generally, the lower the hands, the higher the physical attraction. If their arms encircle your waist and they press their hands against your lower back, that might be a romantic hug—especially if they draw your lower body closer to theirs. It’s harder to tell if they press their hands against your upper back, though, since friends often do that.[4]
   • If they touch your butt or stroke your hair, they’re probably into you! Dating Coach Cher Gopman affirms that “a little bit of hair touching…is a sign of flirting.”[5]
   • Gentle touches on the “hands, back, or any part of your body are also a good indication” that your hugger may want something more, adds dating coach and matchmaker Laura Bilotta.[6]
Advertisement

4

Body positioning

Download Article

1. Is this a face-to-face, around-the-shoulders, or from-behind hug? Hugs from behind are usually romantic.[7] A hug from behind is a really familiar gesture between two people who trust each other a lot. If you received this kind of hug from someone, you're probably already pretty close to them and reasonably sure that there are romantic feelings there.[8]
   • If they approached you from the side and put one arm around your waist, this is definitely a "buddy hug." This kind of hug can be really sweet, but it doesn't necessarily indicate romantic feelings—although that doesn’t mean those feelings aren’t there!
   • A face-to-face hug with torsos touching can be more ambiguous. This stance is the standard hug position, so it may just be a polite, friendly, obligatory hug. However, physical closeness while standing face-to-face may also be romantic, so take into account the other factors below to suss out this hug’s meaning.
   • Reader Poll: We asked 412 wikiHow readers whether they think a hug from in front or behind is more romantic, and 58% of them said from behind. [Take Poll]

5

Body language

Download Article

1. Was their body rigid or did it melt into yours? A stiff or rigid hug indicated neutral feelings. If the hugger felt stiff or there was an all-around awkward vibe during the embrace, they may be uncomfortable with hugging or they may have felt obligated to hug you because everyone else was hugging.[9]
   • However, if the other person felt loose, relaxed, and held you tight throughout the hug, it’s more likely that they have romantic feelings for you. They also may have been leaning closer to you in the moment before and after the hug.
Advertisement

6

Contact between body parts

Download Article

1. If only your upper body parts touch, the hug is probably neutral. If your upper bodies and chests touch, that's usually a friendly hug. If your chests and pelvises touch during the hug, though, there's probably some sexual attraction there![10]
   • It’s a little harder to tell if they give you a full-frontal hug and press their cheek to yours. The cheek press implies that you’re close to each other, but it can be a friendly gesture if you haven’t seen your friend in a long time

7

Hand movements

Download Article

1. Circular back rubs are more affectionate while patting is pretty neutral. It’s hard to judge on hand movements alone, but the back pat is usually reserved for friends, especially if they pat your back quickly once or twice. Slow circles or gentle caresses on your upper or lower back usually indicate there’s some romantic or sexual interest there.[11]
   • A lot of back-patting usually means they’re consoling you or feel sad for you for some reason. It generally doesn’t indicate romantic feelings.
Advertisement

8

Eye contact and smile

Download Article

1. Prolonged eye contact and a wide smile often indicates interest. If your hugging partner holds your gaze for a prolonged period of time before or after a hug, they may be sending a signal that they’re interested in being more than friends. According to Gopman, “giving strong eye contact and showing that you're really present in the moment is a major signal for flirting.”[12]
   • Romantic interest can also be expressed through “flirty eyes” that are “open a little wider than normal, almost giving an enthusiastic expression,” adds Bilotta.[13]
   • Similarly, a wide smile before or after the hug can indicate how much they care about you. While you can’t judge romantic affection based on smiling alone, the bigger the smile, the happier the other person is to see you.
   • If the smiling continues well after the hug, they definitely feel affection for you, but it could be interpreted as friendly or romantic.
   • Little or no eye contact usually means that there aren’t romantic feelings. However, the other person could just have a big crush on you and be feeling nervous!

9

Length and timing

Download Article

1. The longer the hug lasts, the more likely it is that there are romantic feelings. Take timing into account, too. A quick squeeze is usually platonic. Friends often give each other hugs as greetings or when they part. If you’re in the middle of hanging out and the person reaches out to hug you, even just as a quick gesture, that’s usually more significant and could mean they're into you.[14]
   • Friends usually hug to greet each other and to say goodbye, so you can’t really consider one of these hugs to be romantic.
   • However, if the hug lasts for more than a few seconds without the other person loosening their grip, that’s a stronger sign of potential romantic feelings.[15]
Advertisement

10

Reason for the hug

Download Article

1. Hugging at special events is typical for platonic relationships. Special events can be happy (like a graduation) or sad (like a funeral), but either way, friends usually hug each other at these times. You can also tell by looking to see what everyone else is doing—if everyone is hugging at the event, don't assume the person has romantic feelings for you.[16]

11

Frequency

Download Article

1. Have you hugged this person recently? If you just saw them yesterday and they hugged you, then, too, it's more likely that they have feelings for you. It's harder to tell if it’s been a while since you've seen them, though. A friend might give you a big, platonic bear hug if they haven't seen you in a while.[17]
Advertisement

12

Words

Download Article

1. Outside of the hug itself, the person’s choice of words may reveal their intent. If your hugger lets out some words of affection before, during, or after your hug, those words may deepen the intention of the embrace and reveal whether or not it’s romantic or friendly. For instance, closing out a hug with “Nice seeing you” feels much more friendly and platonic than “Hey, that hug felt amazing,” a phrase that dating coach John Keegan recommends as a way to express romantic attraction after an embrace.[18]

Expert Q&A

Search Add New Question

• Question How long is a romantic hug? Imad Jbara Dating Coach Imad Jbara is a Dating Coach for NYC Wingwoman LLC, a relationship coaching service based in New York City. 'NYC Wingwoman' offers matchmaking, wingwoman services, 1-on-1 Coaching, and intensive weekend bootcamps. Imad services 100+ clients, men and women, to improve their dating lives through authentic communication skills. He has a BA in Psychology from the University of Massachusetts Dartmouth. Imad Jbara Dating Coach Expert Answer There isn't an exact time estimate, but romantic hugs definitely last a bit longer than your standard hug. Thanks! We're glad this was helpful. Thank you for your feedback. If wikiHow has helped you, please consider a small contribution to support us in helping more readers like you. We’re committed to providing the world with free how-to resources, and even $1 helps us in our mission. Support wikiHow Yes No Not Helpful 32 Helpful 105
• Question Can you feel romance through a hug? Imad Jbara Dating Coach Imad Jbara is a Dating Coach for NYC Wingwoman LLC, a relationship coaching service based in New York City. 'NYC Wingwoman' offers matchmaking, wingwoman services, 1-on-1 Coaching, and intensive weekend bootcamps. Imad services 100+ clients, men and women, to improve their dating lives through authentic communication skills. He has a BA in Psychology from the University of Massachusetts Dartmouth. Imad Jbara Dating Coach Expert Answer Definitely! You can feel the immediate tension and chemistry in a romantic hug. Thanks! We're glad this was helpful. Thank you for your feedback. If wikiHow has helped you, please consider a small contribution to support us in helping more readers like you. We’re committed to providing the world with free how-to resources, and even $1 helps us in our mission. Support wikiHow Yes No Not Helpful 30 Helpful 122
• Question According to these tips, the hugs I get from my friend are romantic. I'm only 12. What do I do, I've never dated a boy before? Asadandlonelyguy Community Answer Possibly they don’t know it’s romantic, or they are always big huggers, or they possibly like you. Thanks! We're glad this was helpful. Thank you for your feedback. If wikiHow has helped you, please consider a small contribution to support us in helping more readers like you. We’re committed to providing the world with free how-to resources, and even $1 helps us in our mission. Support wikiHow Yes No Not Helpful 12 Helpful 24

See more answers Ask a Question 200 characters left Include your email address to get a message when this question is answered. Submit Advertisement

Video

Tips

• There are some benefits of hugging someone romantically when you’re dating or in a relationship. Hugging in an intimate way can increase your bond, since being in prolonged proximity to each other can sync your breathing, heart rates, and nervous systems.[19] Thanks Helpful 1 Not Helpful 0
• Also, hugging your partner can be a nice form of non-sexual physical touch, so both of you know that you value each other and each other’s bodies for more than just sex. Thanks Helpful 11 Not Helpful 2
• Don’t assume a particular meaning behind a hug if you don’t know for sure. Body language isn’t an exact science! Everyone has different comfort levels with their bodies and physical touch, and different people give different types of hugs. If you’re not sure and really need to know? Just ask the person if they ever think about you romantically. Thanks Helpful 10 Not Helpful 4

Submit a Tip All tip submissions are carefully reviewed before being published Name Please provide your name and last initial Submit Thanks for submitting a tip for review! Advertisement

You Might Also Like

What 16 of the Most Common Hugs Mean The 8 Most Common Reasons for Receiving a Hug from Behind What Does a Tight Hug Really Mean? Everything You Need to Know How to Give Romantic Hugs from the Front or Back 8 Reasons Girls Hug Guys Around Their Necks (Plus How to Respond) What Does it Mean When a Guy Gives You a Side Hug? 8 Ways to Interpret His Hug (Plus How to React) How to Give a Romantic Hug to a Girl Hugging a Crush or Female Friend: Tips for Guys How toHug a Guy How toRomantically Hug a Guy How to Hug Your Crush, Partner, Family, or Friend How to Know if You're Lovers or Just Friends (And What's the Difference?) How toFind Out if a Good Friend Is Crushing on You Advertisement

References

1. ↑ https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.2466/02.17.21.CP.1.13
2. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/fulfillment-any-age/201603/7-basic-rules-hugging
3. ↑ https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.2466/02.17.21.CP.1.13
4. ↑ https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.2466/02.17.21.CP.1.13
5. ↑ Cher Gopman. Dating Coach. Expert Interview
6. ↑ Laura Bilotta. Dating Coach. Expert Interview
7. ↑ https://www.mindbodygreen.com/articles/types-of-hugs
8. ↑ https://www.marriage.com/advice/relationship/types-of-hugs/
9. ↑ https://time.com/5379586/people-hate-hugged-science/

More References (10)

10. ↑ https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.2466/02.17.21.CP.1.13
11. ↑ https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.2466/02.17.21.CP.1.13
12. ↑ Cher Gopman. Dating Coach. Expert Interview
13. ↑ Laura Bilotta. Dating Coach. Expert Interview
14. ↑ https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.2466/02.17.21.CP.1.13
15. ↑ https://www.berkeleywellbeing.com/hugs.html
16. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/fulfillment-any-age/201603/7-basic-rules-hugging
17. ↑ https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.2466/02.17.21.CP.1.13
18. ↑ John Keegan. Dating Coach. Expert Interview
19. ↑ https://www.berkeleywellbeing.com/hugs.html

About This Article

Co-authored by: Imad Jbara Dating Coach This article was co-authored by Imad Jbara and by wikiHow staff writer, Sophie Burkholder, BA. Imad Jbara is a Dating Coach for NYC Wingwoman LLC, a relationship coaching service based in New York City. 'NYC Wingwoman' offers matchmaking, wingwoman services, 1-on-1 Coaching, and intensive weekend bootcamps. Imad services 100+ clients, men and women, to improve their dating lives through authentic communication skills. He has a BA in Psychology from the University of Massachusetts Dartmouth. This article has been viewed 430,632 times. 26 votes - 74% Co-authors: 8 Updated: November 7, 2025 Views: 430,632 Categories: Featured Articles | Social Interactions In other languages Indonesian Portuguese Spanish German Dutch Vietnamese Italian Thai French Turkish Czech Japanese

• Print
• Send fan mail to authors

Thanks to all authors for creating a page that has been read 430,632 times.

Reader Success Stories

• 

  Erin Angel

  Jul 10, 2022

  "He hugs me a lot and a lot. But I don't know the reason why hugs me, now I get it."

Share your story

Did this article help you?

Yes No Advertisement Cookies make wikiHow better. By continuing to use our site, you agree to our cookie policy. Co-authored by: Imad Jbara Dating Coach 26 votes - 74% Click a star to vote Co-authors: 8 Updated: November 7, 2025 Views: 430,632

Erin Angel

Jul 10, 2022

"He hugs me a lot and a lot. But I don't know the reason why hugs me, now I get it." Share yours!

Quizzes & Games

Does My Crush Like Me QuizTake QuizAttraction TestTake QuizDoes She Like Me QuizTake QuizDo I Have a Crush QuizTake QuizHow Many Secret Admirers Do I Have QuizTake QuizAm I in Love with My Best Friend QuizTake Quiz

You Might Also Like

What 16 of the Most Common Hugs MeanThe 8 Most Common Reasons for Receiving a Hug from BehindWhat Does a Tight Hug Really Mean? Everything You Need to KnowHow to Give Romantic Hugs from the Front or Back

Trending Articles

Am I Good at Flirting QuizHow Sexual Am I QuizHow Many Secret Admirers Do I Have QuizRank My Attractiveness Quiz5 Different Types of Butts: Find Your ShapeWhat Would My Nickname Be Quiz

Watch Articles

How toImpress a Girl on a First DateWhat Are Tear Burns on TikTok and What Causes Them?How toWear a HoodieHow toChiffonadeHow toMake a Fabric RoseHow toConfront a Bully

Trending Articles

What Is My Intelligence Type Quiz210+ Shower Thoughts: Funny, Deep, Weird & Mind-BlowingHow toTell That Your Crush Likes You BackDepression Test for TeensSCP Fight Simulator: Who Will Win?Am I Autistic Quiz

Quizzes & Games

Should I Tell My Crush I Like Them QuizTake QuizLove Language QuizTake QuizCrush Calculator: Does Your Crush Like You Back?Take QuizDoes My Guy Friend Like Me QuizTake QuizAm I Good at Flirting QuizTake QuizWill I Ever Get with My Crush QuizTake Quiz

• Categories
• Relationships
• Social Interactions

wikiHow Newsletter You're all set! Helpful how-tos delivered toyour inbox every week! Sign me up! By signing up you are agreeing to receive emails according to our privacy policy.

• Home
• About wikiHow
• Experts
• Jobs
• Contact Us
• Site Map
• Terms of Use
• Privacy Policy
• Do Not Sell or Share My Info
• Not Selling Info
• Contribute

Follow Us

×

Get the free weekly newsletter

wikiHow's Best Advice on Dating & Love

Subscribe The first issue is coming soon! X --688