15 Reasons Why Breakups Hurt Even As A Dumper

Hey There,

Id like to keep my name anonymous, but im 28 yrs old. I read this article and thought it was very relatable to my situation. Im currently in a mental rut and need some guidance.

I started dating a girl much younger than me, she was 21 i was 27. We both very knew to relationships. 3 months in i began feeling extreme anxiety and fear towards the relationship, mainly because she was not as vulnerable and open as i would’ve liked her to be. i realise now it takes time for some people. especially women.

Although on the other hand, we would cuddle for a while in my car after out dates, so i recognise she did have a sensitive side. Im a very emotional, lovey guy who loves affection. I found she wasn’t affectionate enough for me. she was kind of dry and had serious case of resting bitch face. Unintentionally she made me feel like my time with her wasn’t being valued when we were together for the most part.

Im second guessing myself now as the dumper because, i only gave it 4 months before i ended things. I wasn’t extremely attracted to her and her personality, Or at least what she had showed me of it in the 4 months we were dating.

Its been over 6 months since we broke up and im still struggling to get over it and be content in my day to day because we did have some good times and shes the first girl i connected emotionally too on some level… Im struggling to be optimistic about finding someone else and i dont know what to do. i find myself depressed and thinking about her constantly. she really faught for the relationship, the breakup wasn’t mutual. i knew i had to end things in the moment because we had certain differences that i wasn’t ready to change at the time, and the fact that she wasn’t okay with them made me feel uncomfortable.

I know ive grown since the time weve been apart. My issue is that i keep thinking i didnt give it enough time. i screwed up because i was scared. I fear im a self saboteur. But the other half of me is saying to just let i go and move on. Be positive about the future and learn from this.

please help. kindley