3 Ways To Break The Ice - WikiHow

Skip to ContentQuizzes
  • Home
  • Random
  • Browse Articles
  • Quizzes & Games
  • All QuizzesHot
  • Love Quizzes
  • Personality Quizzes
  • Fun Games
  • Dating Simulator
  • Learn Something New
  • Forums
  • Courses
  • Happiness Hub
  • Explore More
  • Support wikiHow
  • About wikiHow
  • Log in / Sign up
Terms of Use wikiHow is where trusted research and expert knowledge come together. Learn why people trust wikiHow How to Break the Ice with Someone New PDF download Download Article Learn to start talking with a boy, girl, coworker, or any other stranger Co-authored by Laura Bilotta

Last Updated: February 20, 2026 References

PDF download Download Article
  • In Relationships
  • |
  • In the Workplace
  • |
  • In General Social Situations
  • |
  • Expert Q&A
  • |
  • Tips
|Show more |Show less X

This article was co-authored by Laura Bilotta. Laura Bilotta is a Dating Coach, Matchmaker, and the Founder of Single in the City, her dating and relationship coaching service based in Toronto, Ontario, Canada. With over 18 years of experience, she focuses on helping singles date more intentionally, encouraging them to let go of negative patterns so that they can attract the love that they deserve. Her experience, skills, and insights have led to thousands of successfully united over 65,000 singles through events and one-on-one matchmaking coaching sessions. She has been the host of The Dating and Relationship Show on Global News Radio 640 Toronto (AM640) for 6 years and is known as The Hookup Queen of Clubhouse; her popular singles club, Single in the City, has over 95.5K members who regularly join in weekly dating and relationship-focused rooms. There are 11 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page. This article has been viewed 216,069 times.

Breaking the ice is important in many situations and will lead to more productive, more comfortable conversations. No matter what ice you're trying to break, wikiHow has a few ideas you can try! Just get started with Step 1 below or see the sections listed above to find the situation that applies to you.

Breaking the Ice

Take note of something interesting about the other person, like their personal style, and ask them questions about it. Or, ask questions about recent events or things happening around you. Avoid tricky topics like religion, politics, or other controversial things at the start.

Steps

Method 1 Method 1 of 3:

In Relationships

PDF download Download Article
  1. Step 1 Admit you're nervous. 1 Admit you're nervous. Going on a date isn't like meeting people in other situations...there are all sorts of things that tend to make you extra nervous! Admitting that you're nervous on a first date or even just around someone new can be a great icebreaker. They're probably nervous too, so just vocalizing what you're both thinking can really ease the tension.
  2. Step 2 Notice and comment on something about them. 2 Notice and comment on something about them.[1] Look at them, really look them over, and notice things about what they're wearing or how they're acting. Notice how they talk. Their accent. Look for if they're wearing something particularly nice, unique, or handmade-looking. Comment on these things that you notice.
    • Use physical comments sparingly since it might seem disingenuous.[2]
    Advertisement
  3. Step 3 Ask them to ask you something. 3 Ask them to ask you something. By letting them know that it's okay to talk to you and ask you questions, you can really help break the ice in your budding relationship. Say something like "If you have anything you want to ask me, go ahead." You can even give them more guidance. For example, "If you want to ask about my wooden leg, it's okay. I can talk about it."
    • Also make sure to ask your date personal questions about themselves!
    • Reader Poll: We asked 393 wikiHow readers and 55% of them said that their favorite first date conversation starters are questions about hobbies and interests. [Take Poll]
    EXPERT TIP John Keegan

    John Keegan

    Dating Coach John Keegan is a Dating Coach and motivational speaker based in New York City. With over 10 years of professional experience, he runs The Awakened Lifestyle, where he uses his expertise in dating, attraction, and social dynamics to help people find love. He teaches and holds dating workshops internationally, from Los Angeles to London and from Rio de Janeiro to Prague. His work has been featured in the New York Times, Humans of New York, and Men's Health. John Keegan John Keegan Dating Coach

    It's always good to enter conversations with a curious mindset. Approach social situations with an open mind, even if their question isn't what you expected. Simply relax and have fun—be yourself!

  4. Step 4 Be blunt. 4 Be blunt. There's something to be said for just saying what you're thinking when it comes to the matters of the heart. If you see someone that you'd like to get to know better and then date, you can just tell them that.[3] For some people it will be a turn off, but for most (especially the attractive ones) a break from all the games will be a nice breath of fresh air. Say something like, "I'm sorry, I saw you from across the room and I kind of felt like the air got punched out of my lungs. I just had to introduce myself or I'd never forgive myself."[4]
  5. Step 5 Comment on their name. 5 Comment on their name. If they have a somewhat unusual name (old fashioned, ethnic, anything other than the standard Sarah/John), then comment on and ask them about their name. You can ask if they were named after someone, how their parents chose the name, and if they like their name, etc.
  6. Step 6 Ask them to settle a bet. 6 Ask them to settle a bet. The sneakiest and yet one of the most effective ways to break the ice with someone you don't know yet is to ask them to settle a bet for you. For example, say something like, "My buddy says this shirt makes me look like Bill Cosby during his blue period. What do you think?" or "All my friends say that guys won't go anywhere near girls with short hair. What do you think?"
  7. Advertisement
Method 2 Method 2 of 3:

In the Workplace

PDF download Download Article
  1. Step 1 Do your research. 1 Do your research. Always, always, always do your research before going into any business meeting, whether it's with one person or three hundred. Read up on the company and as many of the key players that you'll be meeting as you can. Did your new partner previously work in a different industry? Did the company you're visiting just announce an upcoming reorganization? Look for things like this because you can comment on the information in order to start up a conversation.
  2. Step 2 Ask them how they got into the industry. 2 Ask them how they got into the industry. A good way to start a conversation with any individual you encounter through work is to ask them about how they got to the position they're in. Most people take a pretty wild route to get to where they are, so the conversation might even be really interesting![5]
  3. Step 3 Ask about an award or honor that their company has recently received. 3 Ask about an award or honor that their company has recently received. This is the sort of thing you can find out about if you do your research beforehand. Just be sure that the award is fairly recent, so that they'll have more to talk about if they have not been with the company for too long.[6]
  4. Step 4 Hand out some Skittles. 4 Hand out some Skittles. For ice breaking with larger groups, pass a bowl of Skittle or other colorful small candy around the room. Then, for each piece of candy that someone took, they need to answer a question about themselves. Color code the questions to the color of the candy. For example, a blue earns the question, "Where did you grow up?". A green can signal the question, "What is your favorite guilty pleasure tv show?"
  5. Step 5 Brush up on your pop culture and sports. 5 Brush up on your pop culture and sports. If you're not a pop culture or sports person, this can feel like a burden, but the fact is that pop culture is (by definition) pretty much the lowest common denominator. Do some quick reading of the Entertainment and sports sections of the paper/internet each day and you'll be prepared to have a conversation with far more people.[7]
  6. Step 6 Treat your employees, partners, and anyone else you meet with like an adult. 6 Treat your employees, partners, and anyone else you meet with like an adult. Workplace ice breakers tend to revolve around games. Most of the time, there will be a few people who enjoy the games but most will just feel like you're treating them like they are in high school again (because similar games are so common in schools). You don't want to demean your employees or people that you're working with by making them feel this way. Try to find adult ways to break the ice. This usually means manning-up and starting a conversation yourself!
  7. Advertisement
Method 3 Method 3 of 3:

In General Social Situations

PDF download Download Article
  1. Step 1 Compliment them. 1 Compliment them.[8] A sincere compliment is always a good way to start things off with a new friend. Find something that you honestly appreciate or admire and let that show in your voice. Don't hold back! You can compliment something they work on, their personality, their sense of style, or anything else that you think of.
    • Anatomy may not be the best choice!
  2. Step 2 Be silly. 2 Be silly. Being a little silly can help someone who's uncomfortable loosen up a bit and see that you're nothing to be intimidated by. Take this approach if you know that people tend to see you as serious or scary. Do something like ordering your drink by saying, "Appletini. Light on the tiny," or reading them their horoscope in a silly voice after asking their sign.
  3. Step 3 Be the new guy. 3 Be the new guy.[9] Straight up admit that you're new or don't get out much and ask for advice on the area, fun things to do, or good places to eat. Asking people to talk about something they love is usually the fastest way to get them feeling comfortable an talkative.
  4. Step 4 Respond to something going on around you. 4 Respond to something going on around you. Pay attention to what's happening around you and you will easily find things to comment on.[10] Changes in the architecture new buildings going up, someone doing something nice for a stranger, upcoming events, etc. All make good ways to break into a casual conversation with someone you're just meeting.
  5. Step 5 Ask for a favor. 5 Ask for a favor. This technique should be used sparingly, but it can be a good way to break into a conversation with someone. Ask them to do you a small favor (hold a drink, hold your place in line, grab something you can't reach, give you directions, etc). Just be sure that what you're asking of them only takes about 30 seconds of their time. When they're done helping, thank them and then break into a casual conversation.[11]
  6. Step 6 Ask what they're eating or drinking. 6 Ask what they're eating or drinking. If you want to break into a conversation with someone at a restaurant, coffee shop, or other area with food, ask them about the drink in their hands or the food that they're eating. Say something about how good it smells and then ask where they got it or what it is. You can then move into a discussion of food in the area or special ingredients in the item, etc.
  7. Advertisement

Expert Q&A

Search Add New Question
  • Question What is the best ice breaker question? Laura Bilotta Laura Bilotta Dating Coach & Matchmaker Laura Bilotta is a Dating Coach, Matchmaker, and the Founder of Single in the City, her dating and relationship coaching service based in Toronto, Ontario, Canada. With over 18 years of experience, she focuses on helping singles date more intentionally, encouraging them to let go of negative patterns so that they can attract the love that they deserve. Her experience, skills, and insights have led to thousands of successfully united over 65,000 singles through events and one-on-one matchmaking coaching sessions. She has been the host of The Dating and Relationship Show on Global News Radio 640 Toronto (AM640) for 6 years and is known as The Hookup Queen of Clubhouse; her popular singles club, Single in the City, has over 95.5K members who regularly join in weekly dating and relationship-focused rooms. Laura Bilotta Laura Bilotta Dating Coach & Matchmaker Expert Answer Ask if they are a cat or dog person or if they have any pets of their own.Talking about pets is always great, since most people have a pet. If they don't, they probably still like pets, so that's a great ice breaker. Thanks! We're glad this was helpful. Thank you for your feedback. If wikiHow has helped you, please consider a small contribution to support us in helping more readers like you. We’re committed to providing the world with free how-to resources, and even $1 helps us in our mission. Support wikiHow Yes No Not Helpful 2 Helpful 11
  • Question How do you break the ice with questions? Laura Bilotta Laura Bilotta Dating Coach & Matchmaker Laura Bilotta is a Dating Coach, Matchmaker, and the Founder of Single in the City, her dating and relationship coaching service based in Toronto, Ontario, Canada. With over 18 years of experience, she focuses on helping singles date more intentionally, encouraging them to let go of negative patterns so that they can attract the love that they deserve. Her experience, skills, and insights have led to thousands of successfully united over 65,000 singles through events and one-on-one matchmaking coaching sessions. She has been the host of The Dating and Relationship Show on Global News Radio 640 Toronto (AM640) for 6 years and is known as The Hookup Queen of Clubhouse; her popular singles club, Single in the City, has over 95.5K members who regularly join in weekly dating and relationship-focused rooms. Laura Bilotta Laura Bilotta Dating Coach & Matchmaker Expert Answer It is important to ask open-ended questions, as they leave more room for conversation than just a yes or no question. Thanks! We're glad this was helpful. Thank you for your feedback. If wikiHow has helped you, please consider a small contribution to support us in helping more readers like you. We’re committed to providing the world with free how-to resources, and even $1 helps us in our mission. Support wikiHow Yes No Not Helpful 4 Helpful 8
  • Question How do I break the ice after telling a girl I like her? Community Answer Community Answer Tell a joke or find another way to make her laugh. Thanks! We're glad this was helpful. Thank you for your feedback. If wikiHow has helped you, please consider a small contribution to support us in helping more readers like you. We’re committed to providing the world with free how-to resources, and even $1 helps us in our mission. Support wikiHow Yes No Not Helpful 7 Helpful 31
See more answers Ask a Question 200 characters left Include your email address to get a message when this question is answered. Submit Advertisement

Tips

  • Avoid asking things like “What’s your favorite color?” or “What is your favorite animal?"[12] Thanks Helpful 0 Not Helpful 0
  • Don’t talk about bad experiences or ask them about theirs. Bad experiences bring up negative feelings and you don’t want the other person feeling negative when you are just breaking the ice.[13] Thanks Helpful 0 Not Helpful 0
  • Take risks. Don't anticipate rejection. Thanks Helpful 0 Not Helpful 0
Show More Tips Submit a Tip All tip submissions are carefully reviewed before being published Name Please provide your name and last initial Submit Thanks for submitting a tip for review! Advertisement

You Might Also Like

Talk to PeopleHow toTalk to People Start a Conversation with a StrangerHow toStart a Conversation with a Stranger Talk to StrangersHow toTalk to Strangers Start a Conversation When You Have Nothing to Talk AboutTips for Starting & Continuing an Interesting Conversation Start a Conversation with a GuyHow toStart a Conversation with a Guy Be Social with People You Don't KnowHow toBe Social with People You Don't Know Best Conversation Starters165 Best Conversation Starters: Funny, Deep, Flirty & More Start a Conversation With a GirlHow toStart a Conversation With a Girl Fill Awkward SilencesThe Best Ways to Deal with Awkward Silences Start a Good ConversationHow toStart a Good Conversation Engage in ConversationYour Guide to Engaging in Conversation Talk to a Girl You Like for the First TimeHow toTalk to a Girl You Like for the First Time Talk to a Woman You Just MetHow toTalk to a Woman You Just Met Have a Great ConversationA Guide to Better Conversations: Making Friends & Building Connections Advertisement

References

  1. Laura Bilotta. Dating Coach. Expert Interview
  2. Candice Mostisser. Relationship Coach. Expert Interview
  3. Candice Mostisser. Relationship Coach. Expert Interview
  4. https://lifehacker.com/the-best-ways-to-break-the-ice-and-get-to-know-someone-1736039897
  5. https://medium.com/better-humans/the-completely-audacious-guide-to-breaking-the-ice-3f6ea9bbac8d
  6. https://smartcalling.com/how-to-break-the-ice-with-strangers/
  7. https://www.entrepreneur.com/article/225555
  8. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/articles/200403/the-art-the-compliment
  9. https://www.pittsburghbettertimes.com/social-setting-ice-breakers/
More References (6)
  1. Candice Mostisser. Relationship Coach. Expert Interview
  2. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-attraction-doctor/201112/break-the-ice-how-to-talk-to-girls-and-guys
  3. Laura Bilotta. Dating Coach. Expert Interview
  4. Laura Bilotta. Dating Coach. Expert Interview
  5. https://www.forbes.com/sites/darrahbrustein/2017/11/19/the-55-best-questions-to-ask-to-break-the-ice-and-really-get-to-know-someone/#37597c7c3ca1
  6. https://www.oprah.com/relationships/How-to-Break-the-Ice

About This Article

Laura Bilotta Co-authored by: Laura Bilotta Dating Coach & Matchmaker This article was co-authored by Laura Bilotta. Laura Bilotta is a Dating Coach, Matchmaker, and the Founder of Single in the City, her dating and relationship coaching service based in Toronto, Ontario, Canada. With over 18 years of experience, she focuses on helping singles date more intentionally, encouraging them to let go of negative patterns so that they can attract the love that they deserve. Her experience, skills, and insights have led to thousands of successfully united over 65,000 singles through events and one-on-one matchmaking coaching sessions. She has been the host of The Dating and Relationship Show on Global News Radio 640 Toronto (AM640) for 6 years and is known as The Hookup Queen of Clubhouse; her popular singles club, Single in the City, has over 95.5K members who regularly join in weekly dating and relationship-focused rooms. This article has been viewed 216,069 times. 3 votes - 87% Co-authors: 12 Updated: February 20, 2026 Views: 216,069 Categories: Dating Article SummaryX

If you’re in an unfamiliar social situation and you need to break the ice, try giving the person a sincere compliment to make them feel more comfortable. If you’re new to the area, ask for advice on where to eat or fun things to do. You can also make conversation about the things that are going on around you, like mentioning a song that is playing or pointing out a new building going up across the street. If all else fails, try talking about pop culture, sports, or other subjects most people are familiar with. If you want to learn how to break the ice in a relationship or at your workplace, keep reading the article! Did this summary help you?YesNo

In other languages Spanish French Russian Italian Chinese German Indonesian Japanese
  • Print
  • Send fan mail to authors
Thanks to all authors for creating a page that has been read 216,069 times.

Reader Success Stories

  • Maria Sinkevich

    Maria Sinkevich

    Nov 17, 2016

    "Hello! Thanks a lot for the article! It's great and really has helped me in arranging my ideas for my drama..." more
Share your story

Did this article help you?

Yes No Advertisement Cookies make wikiHow better. By continuing to use our site, you agree to our cookie policy. Laura Bilotta Co-authored by: Laura Bilotta Dating Coach & Matchmaker Co-authors: 12 Updated: February 20, 2026 Views: 216,069 87% of readers found this article helpful. 3 votes - 87% Click a star to add your vote Maria Sinkevich

Maria Sinkevich

Nov 17, 2016

"Hello! Thanks a lot for the article! It's great and really has helped me in arranging my ideas for my drama..." more Share yours!

Quizzes & Games

Break the Ice with a Conversation StarterBreak the Ice with a Conversation StarterGenerateAm I Good at Flirting QuizAm I Good at Flirting QuizTake QuizIcebreaker Questions Generator: Find The Perfect Conversation StarterIcebreaker Questions Generator: Find The Perfect Conversation StarterGenerateWhat Does My Crush Think of Me QuizWhat Does My Crush Think of Me QuizTake Quiz

You Might Also Like

Talk to PeopleHow toTalk to PeopleStart a Conversation with a StrangerHow toStart a Conversation with a StrangerTalk to StrangersHow toTalk to StrangersStart a Conversation When You Have Nothing to Talk AboutTips for Starting & Continuing an Interesting Conversation

Trending Articles

Sub 5 to True Adam Chart: Looksmaxxing Tiers ExplainedSub 5 to True Adam Chart: Looksmaxxing Tiers ExplainedSigns a Woman is Sexually Attracted to YouSigns a Woman is Sexually Attracted to You28 Best Excuses for Getting Out of School28 Best Excuses for Getting Out of School Practice Thumb Pulling (And If You Should)How to Practice Thumb Pulling (And If You Should)

Trending Articles

What Female Body Shape Are You? How to Identify YoursWhat Female Body Shape Are You? How to Identify YoursDo You Agree with These "Hear Me Out" Character Hot Takes?Do You Agree with These "Hear Me Out" Character Hot Takes?Finish the Lyrics QuizFinish the Lyrics QuizCan Your Finger Length Tell Your Personality?Can Your Finger Length Tell Your Personality?

Games Breaking Group Chats Right Now

160+ Good Roasts to Burn Your Friends & Family Members160+ Good Roasts to Burn Your Friends & Family Members Play the Snaps Guessing GameHow to Play the Snaps Guessing Game140+ Wavelength Game Categories & Questions to Extend Your Play140+ Wavelength Game Categories & Questions to Extend Your PlayThe Ultimate Collection of Funny, Cheesy, & Romantic Rizz LinesThe Ultimate Collection of Funny, Cheesy, & Romantic Rizz Lines

Take a Quiz You Won't Stop Thinking About

What Animal Am I QuizWhat Animal Am I QuizAm I Gay QuizAm I Gay QuizHow Well Do I Know My Best Friend QuizHow Well Do I Know My Best Friend QuizAm I an Alpha, Beta, or Omega QuizAm I an Alpha, Beta, or Omega Quiz

Featured Videos

Eat GuavaHow toEat Guava Get Yellow Stains Out of White ShoesHow to Get Yellow Stains Out of White ShoesLeft Eye Twitching for Females: What Astrology Says About Eye TwitchingLeft Eye Twitching for Females: What Astrology Says About Eye Twitching50 First Date Conversation Starters to Spark a Connection50 First Date Conversation Starters to Spark a Connection

Hot Takes 🔥 🔥 🔥

Do You Agree with These Controversial Hot Takes?Do You Agree with These Controversial Hot Takes?Do You Agree with These Food Hot Takes?Do You Agree with These Food Hot Takes?Do You Agree With These Fashion Hot Takes?Do You Agree With These Fashion Hot Takes?Do You Agree with These Crazy Hot Takes?Do You Agree with These Crazy Hot Takes?

Your Daily Dose of Fun!

Which My Little Pony Am I QuizWhich My Little Pony Am I QuizMHA Quirk GeneratorMHA Quirk GeneratorWhat Food Am I QuizWhat Food Am I QuizDo I Have a Crush QuizDo I Have a Crush Quiz wikiHow
  • Categories
  • Relationships
  • Dating
wikiHow Newsletter You're all set! Helpful how-tos delivered toyour inbox every week! Sign me up! By signing up you are agreeing to receive emails according to our privacy policy.
  • Home
  • About wikiHow
  • Experts
  • Jobs
  • Contact Us
  • Site Map
  • Terms of Use
  • Privacy Policy
  • Do Not Sell or Share My Info
  • Not Selling Info
  • Contribute

Follow Us

×

Get the free weekly newsletter

wikiHow's Best Advice on Dating & Love

Subscribe The first issue is coming soon! X --702

Tag » How To Break The Ice