3 Ways To Meet Gay Guys In A Small Town - WikiHow

Skip to ContentQuizzes

• PRO Courses Hot Guides Tech Help Pro Expert Videos About wikiHow Pro Upgrade
• QUIZZES All Quizzes Hot Love Quizzes Personality Quizzes Trivia Quizzes Taylor Swift Quizzes
• EDIT Edit this Article
• EXPLORE Tech Help ProAbout UsRandom ArticleQuizzes Request a New ArticleCommunity DashboardTrendingForums Arts and EntertainmentArtworkBooksMoviesComputers and ElectronicsComputersPhone SkillsTechnology HacksHealthMen's HealthMental HealthWomen's HealthRelationshipsDatingLoveRelationship Issues Hobbies and CraftsCraftsDrawingGamesEducation & CommunicationCommunication SkillsPersonal DevelopmentStudyingPersonal Care and StyleFashionHair CarePersonal Hygiene Quizzes Love Quizzes Personality Quizzes Fun Games ForumsArts and EntertainmentFinance and BusinessHome and Garden Relationship QuizzesCars & Other VehiclesFood and EntertainingPersonal Care and Style Sports and FitnessComputers and ElectronicsHealthPets and Animals TravelEducation & CommunicationHobbies and CraftsPhilosophy and Religion Work WorldFamily LifeHolidays and TraditionsRelationships Youth
• LOG IN

  Log in

  Social login does not work in incognito and private browsers. Please log in with your username or email to continue. Facebook Google wikiHow Account No account yet? Create an account
• RANDOM

• Home
• Random
• Browse Articles
• TrendingNew
• Quizzes & Games
• All QuizzesHot
• Love Quizzes
• Personality Quizzes
• Fun Games
• Dating Simulator
• Learn Something New
• Forums
• Courses
• Happiness Hub
• Explore More
• Support wikiHow
• About wikiHow

• Log in / Sign up

Terms of Use wikiHow is where trusted research and expert knowledge come together. Learn why people trust wikiHow

• Categories
• Relationships
• LGBT
• LGBT Dating

12 Ways to Meet Other LGBTQ+ People in a Small Community Download Article Make queer connections without traveling far from home Explore this Article IN THIS ARTICLE 1 Log into an LGBTQ+ dating app or website. 2 Connect with queer people on social media. 3 Join a hobby group for LGBTQ+ individuals. 4 Contribute to a queer online chat room. 5 Join an online support group. 6 Visit LGBTQ+ hangouts in nearby cities. 7 Date people online who live across the country. 8 Get involved in LGBTQ+ organizations in other towns. 9 Attend LGBTQ+ festivals in other towns. 10 Start your own LGBTQ+ group. 11 Talk to a therapist you can trust. 12 Reach out to friends and family. + Show 9 more... - Show less... Other Sections Expert Q&A Tips and Warnings Related Articles References Co-authored by Marissa Floro, PhD and Cheyenne Main

Last Updated: February 8, 2025 Fact Checked

Download Article X

This article was co-authored by Marissa Floro, PhD and by wikiHow staff writer, Cheyenne Main. Dr. Marissa Floro, Ph.D. is a Psychologist and Instructor at Stanford University’s Weiland Health Initiative and adjunct faculty at the University of San Francisco. Dr. Floro received her Ph.D. in Counseling Psychology from Loyola University Chicago, focusing on the intersections of race, attraction, and gender. Dr. Floro’s continued clinical, teaching, and advocacy work focuses on sexual and gender diversity, racial identity and belonging, and liberation from oppressive systems and structures. There are 14 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page. This article has been fact-checked, ensuring the accuracy of any cited facts and confirming the authority of its sources. This article has been viewed 98,366 times.

Trying to find gay guys to date or become friends with in a small town can be difficult, but luckily, there are tons of online groups and activities that can create a sense of queer community. From dating apps to forums and chat rooms, the internet has a plethora of safe spaces for you to explore. If you’re safely able to, you can also visit other towns or cities that host LGBTQ+ events or start your own gay pride club. We spoke with licensed psychologist Ketari Berasi and matchmaker Lauren Sanders to find the best ways to meet gay guys when you’re living in a small town.

Meeting Gay Guys Near You

1. Join an LGBTQ+ dating app or website like Grindr.
2. Find gay social media groups on Facebook or Instagram.
3. Look for gay-friendly clubs on Meetup.
4. Join an online LGBTQ+ forum or chat room.
5. Visit gay bars, clubs, or lounges in other cities or towns.

Steps

1

Log into an LGBTQ+ dating app or website.

Download Article

1. Download an app if you’re looking for guys to date. Matchmaker and dating coach Lauren Sanders says “There are several ways to meet other members of the LGBTQ+ community. One of the best ways is via LGBTQ+ centered dating apps.”[1] Some of the most popular apps for gay men include Grindr, Scruff, GROWLR, and Archer.[2]
   • Other apps include MenNation, Adam4Adam, eHarmony, OkCupid, or JACK’D.
   • If you meet someone online, try to have your first in-person interaction in a public area and send the address to a friend you can trust.
Advertisement

2

Connect with queer people on social media.

Download Article

1. Use Facebook or Instagram to find other local gay guys. Whether you’re looking for love or community, Sanders also recommends trying to find LGBTQ+ Facebook groups.[3] Instagram, Twitter, and other social media sites might also have groups where you can meet gay guys online. Search for the word “gay” plus the name of your town to find openly queer users in your area.
   • If you have an Instagram and you're looking for gay men in Idaho, for example, you could search "gay Rexburg Idaho."
   • If there aren’t any groups in your area, try searching for groups in a nearby town or city.

3

Join a hobby group for LGBTQ+ individuals.

Download Article

1. Join Meetup and look for gay-friendly clubs. Verified Meetup groups can be a great place to engage in a hobby you enjoy while meeting gay people in your area. Whether you’re into D&D, board games, meditation, hiking, or sports, Meetup might be a good place to meet gay men and other queer individuals.[4]
   • You might also be able to find LGBTQ-friendly Facebook groups for activities.
Advertisement

4

Contribute to a queer online chat room.

Download Article

1. Join a gay online chat room or chat on a forum. Chat rooms or forums can be a quick way to talk with other gay men and post questions you have about the queer community. Search for chat rooms and forums focused on your area or join a general LGBTQ chat room to find advice about meeting gay men in small towns.
   • Some forums include Reddit or LGBTHero. You can also search for LGBTQ-friendly forums for a video game or tv show you enjoy.
   • If you're between 13 and 24 years old, TrevorSpace is a safe, welcoming forum and chatroom for LGBTQ youth.

5

Join an online support group.

Download Article

1. Build a safe space online by finding an LGBTQ+ social support group. Support groups are a safe place for queer people to come together and talk about their experiences, which can make it a great place to find friends or people to date.[5] The LGBT Life Center has a list of virtual support groups, or you can search for gay support groups on Psychology Today.
   • There might also be support groups hosted by LGBTQ+ centers in nearby cities or larger towns.
Advertisement

6

Visit LGBTQ+ hangouts in nearby cities.

Download Article

1. Go to gay bars, lounges, or clubs in other large towns. Queer nightclubs, bars, and other spaces can be a great place to meet other gay or queer men. If your town isn’t near a city or somewhere with LGBTQ+ safe spaces, look for online events hosted by queer businesses across the country.[6]
   • Look at sites like EventBrite, LGBTNetwork, or on the social media pages for gay bars or clubs for online events.
   • Some cities or large towns might also have LGBTQ+ book clubs or other events for people under the legal drinking age.[7]

7

Date people online who live across the country.

Download Article

1. Start a long-distance relationship online. Join an online dating site or app and expand the distance requirements to outside of your town. Message any users who interest you and, if you feel a spark, ask them if they're open to long-distance relationships. With time and persistence, you may find someone you want to start an LDR with.[8]
   • You may also connect with and eventually develop a long-distance relationship with a member from an LGBTQ group, forum, or chat room.
   • Scruff’s Venture feature is a popular way to meet gay men in faraway cities or while traveling.
Advertisement

8

Get involved in LGBTQ+ organizations in other towns.

Download Article

1. Volunteer at a queer organization in another town or city. If your town is close enough to a larger town or city where there are LGBTQ+ organizations, find local events or volunteer opportunities you can participate in. A few national organizations include:
   • Human Rights Campaign (HRC)
   • Family Equality Council
   • Parents, Family & Friends of Lesbians and Gays (PFLAG)
   • International Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Trans and Intersex Association (ILGA)
   • The LGBT National Help Center
   • Gay & Lesbian Advocates & Defenders (GLAD)

9

Attend LGBTQ+ festivals in other towns.

Download Article

1. Locate a city near you that throws Pride events. Most large cities and towns throw Pride parades and festivals during June, which is LGBTQ+ Pride month. If you’re having trouble finding community in your area, travel to a Pride event in a city near you alone or with friends you can trust.[9]
   • If you’re going to Pride alone, clinical psychologist Ketari Berasi says to “Let another person you trust know that you will be attending the parade, and make sure you each have one another’s contact information in case you need help at any point.”[10]
   • Dr. Berasi also recommends to “Stay away from any signs of uprising or violence, know the route of the parade, and map out several places along the way where you can take a break if need be.”[11]
   • GayCities’ Pride Finder tool allows you to search for Pride events near you. This Pride Calendar also tracks events across the U.S.
   • Volunteering at Pride festivals can also be a great way to get involved in the queer community and meet gay men.
Advertisement

10

Start your own LGBTQ+ group.

Download Article

1. Create a club for LGBTQ+ people with trusted friends or adults. If you’re currently in school, ask a teacher you can trust to help you create a club or group for queer students.[12] You can also create a club on an app like Meetup for other LGBTQ+ individuals in your town to join.[13]
   • Dr. Berasi says that, when you create or join an LGBTQ+ club in your area, “you can meet some great folks, and if they aren’t of particular romantic interest to you, their friends you meet may be.”[14]
   • If you go to a college or university, reach out to a professor you like and ask if you could create an LGBTQ+ club or event on campus or online.

11

Talk to a therapist you can trust.

Download Article

1. Find a therapist who has worked with queer people. A therapist might help you feel less lonely or isolated. When you schedule a consultation, Dr. Berasi says to “ask them if they have experience working with LGBTQ+ folks, if this population presents any difficulties for them, and what their general approach is to working with LGBTQ+ folks.”[15]
   • Dr. Berasi says that “Oftentimes therapists who are LGBTQ+ friendly advertise as such, and this information can be found on their website, or on websites specifically hosting LGBTQ+-friendly therapists.”[16]
   • If there aren’t any therapists available in your town, try using an online therapy platform like BetterHelp or Talkspace.
Advertisement

12

Reach out to friends and family.

Download Article

1. Come out to friends or family members who you trust. A friend or family member might be able to give you a sense of community or help you meet other queer people nearby. However, it’s important to put your own safety first. If you don’t think your friends or family would react well, it may be best to find support online or in other towns instead.[17]
   • Figure out how they feel about LGBTQ+ people and topics so you can see how they might react to you coming out. For example, you might ask how they feel about a queer celebrity.
   • Start by coming out to people who you know will be supportive so you can have a good support system from the beginning.[18]
   • If you’re a teenager and you don’t think your parents will react well, it may be better to wait until you’re financially independent to come out to them.[19]

Expert Q&A

Search Add New Question

• Question What can I do if I have no confidence to meet other gay men? Imad Jbara Dating Coach Imad Jbara is a Dating Coach for NYC Wingwoman LLC, a relationship coaching service based in New York City. 'NYC Wingwoman' offers matchmaking, wingwoman services, 1-on-1 Coaching, and intensive weekend bootcamps. Imad services 100+ clients, men and women, to improve their dating lives through authentic communication skills. He has a BA in Psychology from the University of Massachusetts Dartmouth. Imad Jbara Dating Coach Expert Answer A big part of this often stems from not finding the right people to surround yourself with. If you're shy, try to be more expressive and get out there. Show yourself to people so you can find other LGBTQ folks you can look up to. This way, you can build a support group where you can find support to build that confidence you want. The first step is always expressing yourself, though! Thanks! We're glad this was helpful. Thank you for your feedback. If wikiHow has helped you, please consider a small contribution to support us in helping more readers like you. We’re committed to providing the world with free how-to resources, and even $1 helps us in our mission. Support wikiHow Yes No Not Helpful 4 Helpful 22

Ask a Question 200 characters left Include your email address to get a message when this question is answered. Submit Advertisement

Tips

• Living in a small town can get lonely as a queer person. It can be tough leaving the place you call home, but consider moving to a place known for being queer-friendly if you have a hard time finding other queer men or feel socially isolated.[20] Thanks Helpful 0 Not Helpful 0
• Be careful meeting someone in person for the first time. People on the internet may not be who they seem, so try video calling before meeting in real life. Thanks Helpful 0 Not Helpful 0

Submit a Tip All tip submissions are carefully reviewed before being published Name Please provide your name and last initial Submit Thanks for submitting a tip for review! Advertisement

You Might Also Like

How to Meet Gay People Without a Dating App How toMeet Gay and Bisexual Men How toDate in a Small Town How toHave a Gay Friend How to Get a Boyfriend as a Gay Teen Guy How toMeet Other Lesbians How toFind a Queer Relationship in High School How toGet a Boyfriend As a Guy in High School How toGet a Man (for Gay Men) 12 Simple Ways to Find Other Bisexual People How toFind a Girlfriend if You Are a Bisexual Teenage Girl How toMeet Someone in Ireland How toDate How toGet a Lesbian Girlfriend Advertisement

References

1. ↑ Lauren Sanders. Matchmaker & Dating Coach. Expert Interview
2. ↑ https://mashable.com/roundup/best-gay-dating-apps
3. ↑ Lauren Sanders. Matchmaker & Dating Coach. Expert Interview
4. ↑ https://www.pointofpride.org/blog/how-to-be-queer-in-a-small-town
5. ↑ https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/stress-management/in-depth/support-groups/art-20044655
6. ↑ https://www.cosmopolitan.com/uk/love-sex/relationships/a36696477/lgbt-community/
7. ↑ https://www.gq.com/story/just-because-youre-queer-doesnt-mean-you-have-to-go-to-the-bar
8. ↑ https://www.pride.com/gay/2016/6/08/how-survive-being-gaybi-small-town
9. ↑ https://www.them.us/story/first-timers-guide-to-pride

More References (11)

10. ↑ Kateri Berasi, PsyD. Licensed Clinical Psychologist. Expert Interview
11. ↑ Kateri Berasi, PsyD. Licensed Clinical Psychologist. Expert Interview
12. ↑ https://www.campuspride.org/resources/starting-an-lgbt-resource-center/
13. ↑ https://www.pointofpride.org/blog/how-to-be-queer-in-a-small-town
14. ↑ Kateri Berasi, PsyD. Licensed Clinical Psychologist. Expert Interview
15. ↑ Kateri Berasi, PsyD. Licensed Clinical Psychologist. Expert Interview
16. ↑ Kateri Berasi, PsyD. Licensed Clinical Psychologist. Expert Interview
17. ↑ https://www.thetrevorproject.org/resources/guide/the-coming-out-handbook/
18. ↑ https://www.teenvogue.com/story/how-to-come-out-to-your-friends
19. ↑ https://www.teenvogue.com/story/how-to-come-out-to-parents-tips
20. ↑ https://www.gq.com/story/how-to-cope-when-youre-gay-and-lonely

About This Article

Co-authored by: Marissa Floro, PhD Counseling Psychologist This article was co-authored by Marissa Floro, PhD and by wikiHow staff writer, Cheyenne Main. Dr. Marissa Floro, Ph.D. is a Psychologist and Instructor at Stanford University’s Weiland Health Initiative and adjunct faculty at the University of San Francisco. Dr. Floro received her Ph.D. in Counseling Psychology from Loyola University Chicago, focusing on the intersections of race, attraction, and gender. Dr. Floro’s continued clinical, teaching, and advocacy work focuses on sexual and gender diversity, racial identity and belonging, and liberation from oppressive systems and structures. This article has been viewed 98,366 times. 7 votes - 46% Co-authors: 14 Updated: February 8, 2025 Views: 98,366 Categories: LGBT Dating

• Print
• Send fan mail to authors

Thanks to all authors for creating a page that has been read 98,366 times.

Did this article help you?

Yes No Advertisement Cookies make wikiHow better. By continuing to use our site, you agree to our cookie policy. Co-authored by: Marissa Floro, PhD Counseling Psychologist 7 votes - 46% Click a star to vote 46% of people told us that this article helped them. Co-authors: 14 Updated: February 8, 2025 Views: 98,366

Quizzes & Games

How Lonely Am I QuizTake QuizGay Dating SimPlayWhen Will I Get a Boyfriend QuizTake QuizWhich Dating App Should I Use QuizTake QuizAm I Gay QuizTake QuizAm I Straight QuizTake Quiz

You Might Also Like

How to Meet Gay People Without a Dating AppHow toMeet Gay and Bisexual MenHow toDate in a Small TownHow toHave a Gay Friend

Featured Articles

How toRemove Shorts from Search Results on YouTubeWhat Are the Korean Animal Face Types? (And Which Type Do You Have?)Being the Little Spoon While Cuddling: Is It Better Than the Big Spoon?115+ Funny “Get Well Soon” Messages to Make Someone Laugh110+ “Fun Facts” for Interviews, Introductions, & IcebreakersHow Long Would You Survive In A Zombie Apocalypse?

Trending Articles

Am I Chopped QuizCrush Calculator: Does Your Crush Like You Back?Guess My Age QuizChildhood Trauma TestWhat Does My Crush Think of Me QuizHow Rich Will I Be Quiz

Featured Articles

How to Roast Someone in a Rap Battle (Plus the Best Bars of All Time)What Turns a Girl On? 31 Things to Try on Your PartnerLove AnalyzerSending Your Sweetie a Love Note? Here are 200+ Romantic IdeasHow toExercise Your BrainHow toBe a Fun Person to Hang out With

Featured Articles

What Does Your Morning Routine Say About You?How toDevelop Productive HabitsHow toPractice Self CareWhat Song Matches Your Life Right Now?Will 2026 Be Your Year? Reveal Your FutureUnderstanding the Most Attractive Face Shapes (& Determining Your Own)

Watch Articles

How toIron PantsHow toCut LimesHow to Make Your Own Comforting Cinnamon TeaHow toDraw 3D ShapesHow toMake a Sugar ScrubHow to Wear a Scarf: 19 Different Styles

Trending Articles

What Color Is My Name QuizGuess My Deepest Secret QuizWhat's My Personality Based on My Song Choices QuizHypersexuality TestWill I Ever Find Love QuizAm I Neurotypical or Neurodivergent Quiz

Quizzes & Games

LGBTQ+ QuizTake QuizWill I Ever Find Love QuizTake QuizWhat Should I Do QuizTake QuizOnline Dating Experience QuizTake QuizWhat's the Name of My Future Boyfriend QuizTake QuizWhy Am I Single QuizTake Quiz

• Categories
• Relationships
• LGBT
• LGBT Dating

wikiHow Newsletter You're all set! Helpful how-tos delivered toyour inbox every week! Sign me up! By signing up you are agreeing to receive emails according to our privacy policy.

• Home
• About wikiHow
• Experts
• Jobs
• Contact Us
• Site Map
• Terms of Use
• Privacy Policy
• Do Not Sell or Share My Info
• Not Selling Info
• Contribute

Follow Us

×

Get the free weekly newsletter

wikiHow's Best Advice on Dating & Love

Subscribe The first issue is coming soon! X --690