4 Steps To Forgiving Your Spouse For Saying Hurtful Things

In a perfect world you would never have to forgive your partner for anything. However, the world is not perfect and sometimes we can hurt the ones we love and be hurt too. It is not always intentional but saying hurtful things can cause problems in a marriage.

This article will discuss what is okay in a marriage, why people say hurtful things and what to do if you have been hurt.

When is it okay to say hurtful things?

Let’s first start off by saying that it is never okay to say hurtful things purely with the intention of causing distress to your partner. As human beings we are entitled to our own feelings and emotions and these can often be messy and unpredictable, that is just part of life.

If you are hurt by something your partner has said, and it was not intended to cause harm, then this is what we classify as being ‘okay’ in relationships. This is normal and acceptable, it’s part of typical human interactions. In cases like this it should be pretty easy to talk to your partner, explaining to them why you are hurt, and to move on.

Conversely, if your partner is saying things to purposely cause harm, this is not okay. It is never okay to intentionally hurt your spouse. Remember, verbal and emotional abuse are recognized forms of abuse. You should never class this as a ‘normal’ part of a relationship, as it is not healthy.

Why do people say hurtful things to each other?

Most often in relationships and marriages, hurtful things are said in frustration and anger. These are entirely normal feelings to have in long term relationships. You would be pretty unusual if you had never been angry with your other half. Sometimes, hurtful things can be said completely innocently, and the guilty party may not even have realized that they caused harm.

This is often down to upbringing, past relationships and personalities. What is hurtful to one person might be funny to another. Due to this, it is important to tell your spouse when your feelings are hurt, so that these words can be nipped in the bud.

Open and healthy communication is the best way to prevent hurt feelings and should, ideally, be part of any long-term relationship. It could be something as simple as you and your husband or wife communicating in different ways to each other and you would both benefit from getting on the same page.