4 Ways To Be A Good Roommate - WikiHow

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Terms of Use wikiHow is where trusted research and expert knowledge come together. Learn why people trust wikiHow How to Be a Good Roommate PDF download Download Article Co-authored by Desiree Panlilio and Sophia Bell

Last Updated: May 15, 2025 Approved

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  • Setting Expectations
    • |
  • Living in Harmony
    • |
  • Choosing a Compatible Roommate
    • |
  • House Rules Poster
    • |
  • Video
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  • Expert Q&A
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  • Tips
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  • Warnings
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This article was co-authored by Desiree Panlilio and by wikiHow staff writer, Sophia Bell. Desiree Panlilio is a Teen Life Coach and the Owner of Encouraging Teens, LLC. With over three years of experience, she specializes in helping teens and young adults define roles, set goals, develop healthy academic and personal habits, grow in leadership potential, and create their life paths. Desiree holds a BSN in Nursing from The University of Victoria and an MA in Human Services Counseling with a concentration in Life Coaching from Liberty University. wikiHow marks an article as reader-approved once it receives enough positive feedback. In this case, 84% of readers who voted found the article helpful, earning it our reader-approved status. This article has been viewed 490,473 times.

Living with other people can be difficult, especially when each person comes from a different background and has their own ideas about how they want to live. Though having a roommate can be challenging at times, it can also be enjoyable and fun. Taking a few simple steps, including setting expectations early and sticking to them, will help you share your living space harmoniously.

Steps

Method 1 Method 1 of 3:

Setting Expectations

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  1. Step 1 Discuss your expectations ahead of time. 1 Discuss your expectations ahead of time.[1] Get together before or on the first day you move in together and talk about what each of you needs and wants from the other. This is your best chance to set boundaries with your roommate.[2] This applies to finances, food, clothes, possessions, use of common areas, loud activities or parties, quiet hours, cleaning responsibilities, and so on.[3]
    • For example, say something like, “I don’t mind if you have people over, but can you try to keep the noise level down after 10 p.m.? I work the early shift so I have to be out the door at the crack of dawn.”
  2. Step 2 Create a roommate agreement. 2 Create a roommate agreement. Some people find it helpful to write up a "roommate agreement" in which you set down rules that everyone can agree to. This is a good way to make sure that everyone is clear on the rules and responsibilities. Once you’ve discussed your expectations, write up an agreement, then have each roommate sign and keep a copy of it.[4] Advertisement
  3. Step 3 Make a financial agreement. 3 Make a financial agreement. It’s a good idea to get a financial agreement in writing to avoid any issues down the road. Decide how you’ll divide up the rent and utility payments, and determine whether or not you’ll split the cable and internet bill. Make sure you’re okay with paying half the bills if your roommate constantly leaves the sprinklers on, racks up pay-per-view charges, or likes to have all the lights in the house on at all times, all of which can add extra costs to the total.[5]
  4. Step 4 Divide up responsibilities. 4 Divide up responsibilities. Make a plan to divide up responsibilities and chores between you and your roommate.[6] For example, if your roommate is a good cook and you are not, ask them to cook if you’ll clean up afterward. It may also be a good idea to set up a chores schedule, where you will take turns cleaning the bathroom, taking out the trash, dusting, vacuuming, and so on.
    • You could ask, “How do you feel about creating a chore schedule? For example, I could do dishes this week, and you could do them next week. Does that sound fair?”
  5. Step 5 Decide what you will share. 5 Decide what you will share. Make a clear delineation between your stuff and your roommate’s stuff. Decide what contents in the fridge are okay to share and which are off limits, and discuss whether or not you’ll share laundry soap and other things of that nature. Remember to ask before "borrowing" anything, no matter if it's trivial, and always take good care of any borrowed items.[7]
  6. Step 6 Agree to respect each other’s privacy and personal space. 6 Agree to respect each other’s privacy and personal space. This is especially important if you share a small living area. Discuss each of your preferences regarding personal space and privacy. For instance, you may not mind if your roommate comes into your room unannounced, but they might find you to be very rude for doing so. Talk about these kinds of things so that you know what to expect from each other.[8]
    • Alternatively, your roommate may like to share their experiences and feelings with you, but you may not feel comfortable doing the same. Be upfront about your preferences.
  7. Step 7 Be prepared to... 7 Be prepared to compromise. Not everyone has the same ideas about day to day living as you do. Recognize that you are sharing a space with someone that may have different values and preferences. Take their feelings into consideration, and ask that they do the same for you.[9]
    • For instance, if you’re dying to throw a party on Thursday night but your roommate has a final early the next morning, agree to postpone the bash till Friday evening, instead.
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Method 2 Method 2 of 3:

Living in Harmony

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  1. Step 1 Communicate effectively... 1 Communicate effectively. As in any relationship, living with someone requires a great deal of work. Communication is key in making the relationship work well long-term, or even for a short time. If a problem comes up, it's better to talk about it right away than to try to ignore it and let it get worse.[10] For example, say “Chris, it upsets me when I wake up to find all the milk gone. If you use the last of something, can you please add it to the list?”[11]
    • If you simply cannot communicate openly and there is tension all the time, you may be better off finding a new roommate.
  2. Step 2 Follow through with your obligations. 2 Follow through with your obligations. If you say you're going to clean the kitchen, pay your roommate back for your share of the lease or utilities, or call the landlord about a repair, then you need to do so. Nothing is more frustrating than agreeing to something with someone then finding out they didn’t hold up their end of the bargain. Be responsible for yourself and follow through with what you say you will do.
  3. Step 3 Clean up after yourself. 3 Clean up after yourself. Though you may have agreed that your roommate would take out the trash on Fridays, that doesn’t mean you can pile stuff around the can until Friday rolls around. If you have a spare minute, just take out the trash. Don't leave your dirty dishes in the sink for days on end, dump your things in the living room, or leave mountains of laundry on top of the washer. Try to agree on a minimum standard of cleanliness that you'll all abide by.
  4. Step 4 Spend time with your roommate. 4 Spend time with your roommate. Say hello and goodbye, ask them how their day was, and show interest in their life. Getting to know the person you live with helps you understand their perspective, and allows them to understand yours. It also makes it easier to deal with problems that you have with that person if you’ve already established a rapport with them.[12]
    • Try to set a time in which you both can hang out at least once a week. Make dinner together, watch a movie, or go for a hike.
    • Do something nice for your roommate every so often—do their dishes, bake them cookies, or offer to give them a ride somewhere if they don't have a car.
  5. Step 5 Accommodate your roommate. 5 Accommodate your roommate. Understand what’s going on in your roommate’s life, and aim to be flexible and accommodating. If your roommate has a big test coming up, you should probably be quiet and let them study. If your roommate is busy and stressed with their job, give them some time and space to relax and unwind. After all, wouldn't you like your roommate to show you the same consideration?
    6. Advertisement
Method 3 Method 3 of 3:

Choosing a Compatible Roommate

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  1. Step 1 Learn their habits. 1 Learn their habits. It can be tempting to select a roommate on the basis of how friendly they are, but you're better off judging them on the basis of day-to-day living compatibility. Find out if how often they’ll be home, what their work or school schedule is like, and whether they’re an early riser or a night owl. You should also consider how neat or messy the person is, as a sloppy roommate is sure to drive a neat-freak nuts.[13]
  2. Step 2 Compare your preferences. 2 Compare your preferences. It can be difficult to live with someone who enjoys absolute silence when you love to blast music at all hours of the day and night. Find out the person’s preferences before deciding to move in together. Ask what kind of noise level they prefer, what temperature they’re comfortable at, what kinds of foods they enjoy, if they’re sensitive to odors, and if they have any allergies. Be sure to find out if they smoke, drink, or use recreational drugs, too.
  3. Step 3 Account for personality differences. 3 Account for personality differences. Some people may have vastly different religious or political views that could cause conflict when living together. For example, someone who is very religious and conservative may not be okay with you bringing home one-night-stands. Some people may love to chat and discuss their feelings, while others prefer to keep things to themselves. The best roommate pairs will have similar views on these topics.[14]
  4. Step 4 Check their rental history and financial situation. 4 Check their rental history and financial situation. Ask for rental references and discuss the financial commitment you’re both making. Make sure they are prepared and able to stick to the lease agreement as well as any utility bills. You don’t want to get stuck paying the full amount of rent because they don’t have enough money to cover their portion![15]
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House Rules Poster

Sample Inspirational House Rules Poster

Expert Q&A

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  • Question What are the qualities of a good roommate? Desiree Panlilio Desiree Panlilio Teen Life Coach Desiree Panlilio is a Teen Life Coach and the Owner of Encouraging Teens, LLC. With over three years of experience, she specializes in helping teens and young adults define roles, set goals, develop healthy academic and personal habits, grow in leadership potential, and create their life paths. Desiree holds a BSN in Nursing from The University of Victoria and an MA in Human Services Counseling with a concentration in Life Coaching from Liberty University. Desiree Panlilio Desiree Panlilio Teen Life Coach Expert Answer A good roommate respects the other person's boundaries and triggers. They also make an effort to communicate when any issues come up. Thanks! We're glad this was helpful. Thank you for your feedback. If wikiHow has helped you, please consider a small contribution to support us in helping more readers like you. We’re committed to providing the world with free how-to resources, and even $1 helps us in our mission. Support wikiHow Yes No Not Helpful 0 Helpful 6
  • Question What is proper roommate etiquette? Desiree Panlilio Desiree Panlilio Teen Life Coach Desiree Panlilio is a Teen Life Coach and the Owner of Encouraging Teens, LLC. With over three years of experience, she specializes in helping teens and young adults define roles, set goals, develop healthy academic and personal habits, grow in leadership potential, and create their life paths. Desiree holds a BSN in Nursing from The University of Victoria and an MA in Human Services Counseling with a concentration in Life Coaching from Liberty University. Desiree Panlilio Desiree Panlilio Teen Life Coach Expert Answer Proper roommate etiquette involves setting clear boundaries and rules. Let the other person know what kind of things bother you, and be honest and open when any problems arise. Thanks! We're glad this was helpful. Thank you for your feedback. If wikiHow has helped you, please consider a small contribution to support us in helping more readers like you. We’re committed to providing the world with free how-to resources, and even $1 helps us in our mission. Support wikiHow Yes No Not Helpful 1 Helpful 2
  • Question When is the right time to talk with my roommate? Community Answer Community Answer That really depends on what you want to talk about. As a general rule, striking up a conversation works best when your roommate isn't about to rush off somewhere or engrossed in schoolwork. Choose a time when she looks relaxed and available. Thanks! We're glad this was helpful. Thank you for your feedback. If wikiHow has helped you, please consider a small contribution to support us in helping more readers like you. We’re committed to providing the world with free how-to resources, and even $1 helps us in our mission. Support wikiHow Yes No Not Helpful 3 Helpful 30
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Tips

  • Make sure all roommates' understand the meaning of compromise and mutual respect. Just paying rent does not constitute a good roommate. Respect each other's space, privacy, and preferences. Thanks Helpful 8 Not Helpful 0
  • Control the amount of noise you make. Wear headphones when you listen to music, and go into another room when you're on the phone. If you're going to engage in a noisy activity, it's a good idea to ask your roommate before you do it. Thanks Helpful 8 Not Helpful 0
  • Don't make your rules too rigid. Sometimes, you may need to let an issue go rather than fight over it. Dirty windows never hurt anyone, and a broken plate is not worth ruining a friendship. Thanks Helpful 9 Not Helpful 1
Submit a Tip All tip submissions are carefully reviewed before being published Name Please provide your name and last initial Submit Thanks for submitting a tip for review! Advertisement

Warnings

  • Although you should be flexible and accommodating, don’t let your roommate take advantage of you. Speak up for yourself when necessary. Thanks Helpful 16 Not Helpful 0
  • Remember, not everyone is meant to live together, regardless of how good a friendship you might have. Thanks Helpful 85 Not Helpful 15
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References

  1. ↑ Desiree Panlilio. Teen Life Coach. Expert Interview
  2. ↑ Desiree Panlilio. Teen Life Coach. Expert Interview
  3. ↑ https://mhanational.org/how-deal-roommate-problems
  4. ↑ https://mhanational.org/how-deal-roommate-problems
  5. ↑ https://uwm.edu/neighborhoodhousing/roommate-agreements/
  6. ↑ Desiree Panlilio. Teen Life Coach. Expert Interview
  7. ↑ https://www.hdesd.org/how-to-be-a-good-roommate/
  8. ↑ Desiree Panlilio. Teen Life Coach. Expert Interview
  9. ↑ https://mhanational.org/how-deal-roommate-problems
More References (6)
  1. ↑ Desiree Panlilio. Teen Life Coach. Expert Interview
  2. ↑ http://www.educationcorner.com/living-with-a-roommate.html
  3. ↑ https://www.nbcnews.com/better/lifestyle/10-things-financial-experts-want-you-know-about-getting-roommate-ncna1063816
  4. ↑ https://uwm.edu/neighborhoodhousing/roommate-agreements/
  5. ↑ http://www.educationcorner.com/living-with-a-roommate.html
  6. ↑ https://www.nbcnews.com/better/lifestyle/10-things-financial-experts-want-you-know-about-getting-roommate-ncna1063816

About This Article

Desiree Panlilio Co-authored by: Desiree Panlilio Teen Life Coach This article was co-authored by Desiree Panlilio and by wikiHow staff writer, Sophia Bell. Desiree Panlilio is a Teen Life Coach and the Owner of Encouraging Teens, LLC. With over three years of experience, she specializes in helping teens and young adults define roles, set goals, develop healthy academic and personal habits, grow in leadership potential, and create their life paths. Desiree holds a BSN in Nursing from The University of Victoria and an MA in Human Services Counseling with a concentration in Life Coaching from Liberty University. This article has been viewed 490,473 times. 6 votes - 84% Co-authors: 59 Updated: May 15, 2025 Views: 490,473 Categories: Featured Articles | Share Houses and Rooms In other languages Italian Russian German French
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Reader Success Stories

  • Citlali Ramos

    Citlali Ramos

    Oct 31, 2016

    "This was good. I am thinking of moving out soon and maybe looking to live with a roommate. It seems a bit scary,..." more
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Yes No Advertisement Cookies make wikiHow better. By continuing to use our site, you agree to our cookie policy. Desiree Panlilio Co-authored by: Desiree Panlilio Teen Life Coach Co-authors: 59 Updated: May 15, 2025 Views: 490,473 84% of readers found this article helpful. 6 votes - 84% Click a star to add your vote Citlali Ramos

Citlali Ramos

Oct 31, 2016

"This was good. I am thinking of moving out soon and maybe looking to live with a roommate. It seems a bit scary,..." more Kim M.

Kim M.

May 31, 2016

"Good points made in this article. I'm very new to the roommate concept, and this list helps put into..." more Shreya Thakur

Shreya Thakur

Jul 5, 2016

"Every single thing which is necessary has been mentioned here. I will definitely follow this article." Jake Wilson

Jake Wilson

Jun 29, 2017

"It's all common sense for the most part, but it's very nice to have it layed out so neatly. " Rated this article: Xiomara Sylvain

Xiomara Sylvain

Sep 2, 2016

"It was really good. Who ever wrote this has awesome experience. :-)" Share yours! More success stories Hide success stories

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