4 Ways To Find A Girlfriend - WikiHow

Skip to ContentQuizzes
  • Home
  • Random
  • Browse Articles
  • Quizzes & Games
  • All QuizzesHot
  • Love Quizzes
  • Personality Quizzes
  • Fun Games
  • Dating Simulator
  • Learn Something New
  • Forums
  • Courses
  • Happiness Hub
  • Explore More
  • Support wikiHow
  • About wikiHow
  • Log in / Sign up
Terms of Use wikiHow is where trusted research and expert knowledge come together. Learn why people trust wikiHow Where Do You Find a Girlfriend? Plus, How to Approach Women PDF download Download Article Be your charming, authentic self to attract your dream girl Co-authored by John Keegan and Marcus Pruitt, BS

Last Updated: December 21, 2025 Fact Checked

PDF download Download Article
  • Where to Meet Women
  • |
  • Approaching & Talking to Women
  • |
  • Putting Your Best Foot Forward
  • |
  • Video
  • |
  • Tips
  • |
  • Warnings
|Show more |Show less X

This article was co-authored by John Keegan and by wikiHow staff writer, Marcus Pruitt, BS. John Keegan is a Dating Coach and motivational speaker based in New York City. With over 10 years of professional experience, he runs The Awakened Lifestyle, where he uses his expertise in dating, attraction, and social dynamics to help people find love. He teaches and holds dating workshops internationally, from Los Angeles to London and from Rio de Janeiro to Prague. His work has been featured in the New York Times, Humans of New York, and Men's Health. This article has been fact-checked, ensuring the accuracy of any cited facts and confirming the authority of its sources. This article has been viewed 480,519 times.

No matter what stage of life you’re at, finding a girlfriend can be tough. Your friends may have no problems finding great girlfriends, but maybe you keep finding yourself on your own. Finding a girlfriend involves getting out into the world, being open to meeting new people, and getting help from friends, and we're here to provide all the best tips to help you meet that special someone.

Where are the best places to find a girlfriend?

Grocery stores, museums, coffee shops, and dog parks are great places to meet women who are relaxed and enjoying themselves. In contrast, clubs and bars may not be the best place to find a partner, as women there may be on guard, out with friends, or not looking for long-term relationships.

Steps

Section 1 of 3:

Where to Meet Women

PDF download Download Article
  1. Step 1 Identify your criteria. 1 Identify your criteria. Think about the things that you definitely want in a girlfriend. Perhaps you want to find someone who shares your religious views, or someone who definitely wants children. Identify your “must-haves” in a potential girlfriend, and then consider where that type of woman might spend time.
    • Think about both major and minor criteria. Dating coach John Keegan says that it's important to find someone with the same values and life views as you.[1] But you might also think about whether you want someone who will run marathons with you, or someone who will binge-watch TV with you, or someone who works in the same industry as you.
    • While you may want a girlfriend who you think is extremely physically attractive, avoid putting this at the top of your list. Your relationship should be based on something less superficial than good looks.
  2. Step 2 Get out into the world. 2 Get out into the world. Chances are, you’re not going to meet anyone if you stay holed up in your house. Get out of your usual routines and hang out in public places where you might meet new people. Think about visiting these types of places frequently:
    • Grocery store
    • Bookstore or library
    • Coffee shop
    • Park
    • Hiking trail
    • Music shop
    Advertisement
  3. Step 3 Try new activities. 3 Try new activities. If you’re having trouble finding potential women to date, you may need to try something new to open up your circle of acquaintances. Try a new hobby or join a club, such as skiing or hiking.
    • Try to have some level of interest in the activity. Don’t just pretend to like an activity because there are lots of girls doing it too. Otherwise, you will start off a potential relationship with falseness.
    • If you are in school, try taking a different type of class than what you normally take. Even if you don’t feel like you’re a creative person, you might take art or drama class. You can get to know this girl in one of her favorite classes.
  4. Step 4 Be open to different types of people. 4 Be open to different types of people. You may have a very particular idea about what kind of woman you’re attracted to. But there are all types of people with whom you can become very good friends and potentially romantic partners. Try not to judge a book by its cover.
  5. Step 5 Make friends with women. 5 Make friends with women. Expand your social circle by getting more women friends. You may have initially considered a woman as potential girlfriend material but then decided it wouldn’t work out. Don’t immediately write off this person. You two can still be friends. What’s more, she probably has lots of girlfriends.
  6. Step 6 Let people know you’re looking. 6 Let people know you’re looking. Many relationships happen because someone told their friends that they were looking for a relationship. Your friends might know someone who is single and looking, and they might help you make a connection.
    • When it comes to finding someone who’s right for you, psychotherapist and relationship coach Kelli Miller, says “Be patient and know that it will come when the time is right.”
  7. Step 7 Join an online dating site. 7 Join an online dating site. It has become much more common for people to connect with each other via online dating websites like Tinder, Hinge, e-Harmony and Match.com. Scope out these sites and join one. Fill out your profile and be open to getting to know other people.
    • Psychologist Dr. Sarah Schewitz, says “there's a lot of work on the back end to find the right match with online dating.” Even though it’s nice to swipe from home, it takes more work to find someone who aligns with you.
    • When it comes to making a Tinder profile, dating and relationship coach, Maya Diamond says “the most important thing is to make a profile that represents your interests, lifestyle, and personality, and to be very clear about why you're on Tinder.”
  8. Step 8 Go on blind... 8 Go on blind dates. Your friends and family want to help you be happy. They might set you up on a blind date to meet a girl, which can be uncomfortable. Still, take a risk by agreeing to the blind date. Think of it as an opportunity to meet someone new and interesting.
  9. Advertisement
Section 2 of 3:

Approaching & Talking to Women

PDF download Download Article
  1. Step 1 Approach her when and where she feels relaxed. 1 Approach her when and where she feels relaxed. Choose an appropriate time and place to talk with a woman. Grocery stores, museums, coffee shops, and dog parks are great places to meet women who are enjoying themselves and usually feeling relaxed.[2]
    • When a woman is at a bar or club, she is already on her guard. She may not be looking for a long-term relationship, or she might be out with the girls for the night. The place is not ideal for connecting with someone more than casually.
  2. Step 2 Be friendly and light-hearted. 2 Be friendly and light-hearted. People generally appreciate a good sense of humor. Be friendly and make light-hearted jokes to make the girl laugh.[3] There are a lot of different situations that lend themselves to demonstrating your sense of humor. Try making jokes at the following things:[4]
    • The circumstance around you. If you’re at a park or walking down the street and you notice something funny, say something about it.
    • Make a joke about yourself. If you’re really tall, talk about how you can see the next city from your viewpoint.
    • Tell a funny story about yourself. Did you get into a silly fight in middle school? Tell her about it, and be sure to include the details about the ridiculous clothes you wore at the time or what song you rocked out to right before you got into the fight.
    • Talk about current events. Some things that happen in the news or with celebrities can be good material for making jokes.
    • These jokes might work well as your personal inside jokes later on.
    • Avoid using crude or offensive humor. Until you know someone very well, this type of humor should be avoided at all costs.
    • Reader Poll: We asked 408 wikiHow readers which personality trait they find most attractive, and 50% said kindness. [Take Poll]
  3. Step 3 Give her a compliment. 3 Give her a compliment. Show her that you’ve noticed something about her by complimenting her on it. For example, you might tell her:
    • “I really like your hair long like that.”
    • “You made some really smart points in the class debate today.”
    • “You’re really easy to talk to.”
  4. Step 4 Call her by name. 4 Call her by name. Once you find out the girl’s name, be sure to use it several times in the conversation. You might want to write it down later to help you remember it.
  5. Step 5 Don’t let the potential for rejection stop you. 5 Don’t let the potential for rejection stop you. You might be nervous about talking with a girl because she might reject you. Don’t let fears of rejection prevent you from striking up a conversation. At the very worst, she will ignore you or tell you to go away. But at best, she will return the conversation.
    • This also helps demonstrate your confidence. View this as an opportunity for acceptance.
  6. Step 6 Don’t be superficial. 6 Don’t be superficial. When you meet someone new, give her a chance even if she doesn’t immediately fulfill your ideal of the perfect girlfriend. Don’t eliminate someone for silly or superficial reasons.
    • Make sure you don’t only compliment this person on her physical appearance. You can tell her that she looks pretty, but make sure you also compliment her on her artistic sense or her ability to weave through rush-hour traffic.
    • When you’re talking to a woman in public, be authentic and curious. Ask questions to build common ground, then see where things go from there.
  7. Step 7 Try talking to her more than once. 7 Try talking to her more than once. If you like someone but your first conversation didn’t go well, try to talk with her again. It may be that she was distracted or under a lot of stress when you first met. If she still seems uninterested, move on.
    • You might need to arrange “accidentally” bumping into her. For example, if you initially met her at the dog park, keep taking your dog there regularly until you see her again.
  8. Step 8 Don’t be creepy or desperate. 8 Don’t be creepy or desperate. Don’t make a girl feel uncomfortable by acting possessive, following her around, or trying to talk to her about inappropriate things. Give her some personal space that will set the right tone for a potential relationship.
  9. Advertisement
Section 3 of 3:

Putting Your Best Foot Forward

PDF download Download Article
  1. Step 1 Be confident. 1 Be confident. Having confidence will demonstrate to a potential girlfriend that you consider yourself worthy of knowing. Believe in your abilities, treat others with respect, and carry yourself with confidence.
    • Having positive and confident body language will convey to other people that you respect yourself and that you are confident. This type of body language includes making regular eye contact, smiling a lot and acting friendly, and standing up straight.
  2. Step 2 Be yourself. 2 Be yourself. Acknowledge who you are and what you really like. Don’t try to be someone that you’re not. Don’t try to please other people who want you to change. Take pride in your strengths and the qualities that make you unique, and just be yourself. Mark Manson Mark Manson, Dating Coach

    Be honest about who you are and what you want in a relationship to find the right partner. Don't misrepresent yourself or pretend to be someone else. Instead, focus on becoming the best version of you, developing self-confidence and social skills, while also looking for a woman with shared interests and values.

  3. Step 3 Lead a healthy lifestyle. 3 Lead a healthy lifestyle. This will show potential girlfriends that you care about yourself enough that you treat your body well. Eat plenty of healthy foods, get enough sleep, and get regular exercise. Cut back on alcohol and stop smoking.
  4. Step 4 Spend time with friends. 4 Spend time with friends. Don’t dedicate all of your time to finding a girlfriend. Make sure to continue spending time with your friends. It’s important that you keep your own interests in mind as you search for a girlfriend.
  5. Advertisement

Join the Discussion...

How do you actually get a girlfriend? I have no idea WikiLlamaGlider700 WikiLlamaGlider700 I don’t really understand how someone gets a girlfriend. Do you just sort of ask a girl you like if they want to be your girlfriend or do you do dates first before you ask? I feel embarrassed because I really don’t know and I have friends who say they take girlfriends out on dates and stuff, but I don’t want to seem like I don’t know. I have liked girls before but never did anything with them. How does the whole thing work? Where would you meet a girlfriend? What do you do with them that’s so different outside of kissing and stuff? Read More Lauren Sanders Lauren Sanders Matchmaker & Dating Coach I think the best way to go about looking for a girlfriend is to be proactive. Place yourself in situations to meet more people. For instance, social gatherings are a wonderful way to meet new and different people. The more exposure the better. Likewise, exposing yourself via dating apps and social media is a good idea. Introverts typically do better with dating sites versus meeting in person. However, be careful not to be too desperate in your search for a girlfriend. Just think of it as a new opportunity to meet new people. And if you meet your girlfriend…it will be a plus! Read More wikiHow Editorial Team wikiHow Editorial Team You can meet girls anywhere—school, work, a coffee shop, the mall, a game store, the gym, the library, a party, a sporting event, and so on. Strike up a conversation with a girl you're interested in and spend time getting to know her. Chat and text a little bit (after exchanging numbers), then ask her out on a date.Typically, you'll go on a few dates before asking someone to be your girlfriend or be exclusive. Then, once things are official, you keep spending time together. Find fun activities you're both interested in, like going to a concert or art gallery, playing mini-golf or going rock climbing, going out for dinner, coffee, or ice cream, seeing movies, and generally hanging out with each other. Read More See all 22 Replies and Read Discussion

Quiz Pack: We’ve handpicked these quizzes just for you.

You’ve read the article, now get personalized advice with wikiHow Quizzes. Each quiz is carefully researched and even endorsed by experts. Have fun and get the expert advice you need! 1 - Will I Ever Find Love Quiz 1 Will I Ever Find Love Quiz 2 - Will I Get Together With My Crush Quiz 2 Will I Get Together With My Crush Quiz 3 - Do I Have Rizz Quiz 3 Do I Have Rizz Quiz

Expert Q&A

Search Add New Question Ask a Question 200 characters left Include your email address to get a message when this question is answered. Submit Advertisement

Video

Reader Videos

Tips

  • Try to assess the situation before you approach a girl. If it seems like she’s in a relationship already, or appears uninterested, you should change your approach. This doesn’t mean that you should avoid this person, however. If she’s already in a relationship, chances are that she has some great single girlfriends she can introduce you to. Thanks Helpful 2 Not Helpful 1
  • Just because one girl rejects you doesn't mean others will. Thanks Helpful 29 Not Helpful 21
  • Don't look for a girlfriend because of social pressure; it's counterproductive because it can make you desperate and attract the wrong person. Thanks Helpful 19 Not Helpful 14
Submit a Tip All tip submissions are carefully reviewed before being published Name Please provide your name and last initial Submit Thanks for submitting a tip for review! Advertisement

Warnings

  • If, in order to be your girlfriend, she makes unreasonable demands (such as asking you for expensive gifts, to take her to exclusive places, to have luxury items, etc.) or simply tries to benefit at your expense, it is better to stay away from her because 'she is a selfish person. Thanks Helpful 5 Not Helpful 0
  • Never do reckless acts or ridiculous antics to "impress" her, the least she would do would be to label you as immature or a clown. Thanks Helpful 14 Not Helpful 12
  • Never bother or harass a girl. Apart from looking very ugly, this can get you into serious trouble, in fact, there are countries where harassing women is a crime punishable by imprisonment. Thanks Helpful 0 Not Helpful 0
Advertisement

You Might Also Like

Get a Girlfriend FastGet a Girlfriend Fast (10+ Ways to Stand Out and Find the Right Girl) Meet WomenHow and Where to Meet Women: Online and in Person Find a Girlfriend if You Never Had OneNever Had a Girlfriend? Reasons Why You’re Single + How to Find a GF Get GirlsHow toGet Girls Get a GirlfriendHow toGet a Girlfriend Find the Right GirlHow toFind the Right Girl Get a Girlfriend if You're ShyHow toGet a Girlfriend if You're Shy Meet a GirlHow toMeet a Girl Get a Girlfriend if You're UglyHow toGet a Girlfriend if You're Ugly Get a Sweet GirlfriendHow toGet a Sweet Girlfriend Get a Beautiful Girl and Still Be YourselfHow toGet a Beautiful Girl and Still Be Yourself Pick up GirlsHow toPick up Girls Where to Meet Single WomenWhere to Meet Single Women Get a Girlfriend over the InternetHow to Meet a Girlfriend Online: Beginner’s Dating Guide Advertisement

References

  1. John Keegan. Dating Coach. Expert Interview
  2. https://healthyframework.com/dating/apps/best-dating-apps-finding-girlfriend/
  3. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/in-the-name-love/202108/so-you-want-impress-her-make-her-laugh
  4. http://www.lovepanky.com/men/dating-women-tips-for-men/how-to-make-a-girl-laugh

About This Article

John Keegan Co-authored by: John Keegan Dating Coach This article was co-authored by John Keegan and by wikiHow staff writer, Marcus Pruitt, BS. John Keegan is a Dating Coach and motivational speaker based in New York City. With over 10 years of professional experience, he runs The Awakened Lifestyle, where he uses his expertise in dating, attraction, and social dynamics to help people find love. He teaches and holds dating workshops internationally, from Los Angeles to London and from Rio de Janeiro to Prague. His work has been featured in the New York Times, Humans of New York, and Men's Health. This article has been viewed 480,519 times. 23 votes - 61% Co-authors: 40 Updated: December 21, 2025 Views: 480,519 Categories: Getting a Date Article SummaryX

To find a girlfriend, try joining a new club or after-school class where you can meet lots of new girls with similar interests, such as film club or a drama group. Alternatively, join an online dating website or app to find girls who are looking for relationships. When you approach a girl for the first time, try to be friendly and make lighthearted jokes to keep things casual. Don’t be afraid to give her a compliment or two to make her feel good. For example, you can say something like, “You made some really smart points in class today.” Most of all, try to be yourself, since you want to find a girlfriend who likes you for who you really are. For more tips from our Relationship co-author, including how to deal with rejection from girls, read on! Did this summary help you?YesNo

In other languages Spanish Portuguese Italian Russian German Dutch Vietnamese Chinese Thai Arabic Korean Turkish Japanese
  • Print
  • Send fan mail to authors
Thanks to all authors for creating a page that has been read 480,519 times.

Reader Success Stories

  • G P

    G P

    Jun 8, 2021

    "This works. I asked a friend to be my girlfriend and she said yes."
Share your story

Did this article help you?

Yes No Advertisement Cookies make wikiHow better. By continuing to use our site, you agree to our cookie policy. John Keegan Co-authored by: John Keegan Dating Coach 23 votes - 61% Click a star to vote Co-authors: 40 Updated: December 21, 2025 Views: 480,519 G P

G P

Jun 8, 2021

"This works. I asked a friend to be my girlfriend and she said yes." Share yours!

Quizzes & Games

Who's My Perfect Girlfriend QuizWho's My Perfect Girlfriend QuizTake QuizWhat Is My Type of Girl QuizWhat Is My Type of Girl QuizTake QuizWhich Dating App Should I Use QuizWhich Dating App Should I Use QuizTake QuizWhat's the Name of My Future Wife QuizWhat's the Name of My Future Wife QuizTake QuizWhen Will I Get a Boyfriend QuizWhen Will I Get a Boyfriend QuizTake QuizBuild a Girlfriend: Who's Your Dream Woman?Build a Girlfriend: Who's Your Dream Woman?Generate

You Might Also Like

Get a Girlfriend FastGet a Girlfriend Fast (10+ Ways to Stand Out and Find the Right Girl)Meet WomenHow and Where to Meet Women: Online and in PersonFind a Girlfriend if You Never Had OneNever Had a Girlfriend? Reasons Why You’re Single + How to Find a GFGet GirlsHow toGet Girls

Featured Articles

Remove Shorts from Search Results on YouTubeHow toRemove Shorts from Search Results on YouTubeWhat Are the Korean Animal Face Types? (And Which Type Do You Have?)What Are the Korean Animal Face Types? (And Which Type Do You Have?)Being the Little Spoon While Cuddling: Is It Better Than the Big Spoon?Being the Little Spoon While Cuddling: Is It Better Than the Big Spoon?115+ Funny “Get Well Soon” Messages to Make Someone Laugh115+ Funny “Get Well Soon” Messages to Make Someone Laugh110+ “Fun Facts” for Interviews, Introductions, & Icebreakers110+ “Fun Facts” for Interviews, Introductions, & IcebreakersHow Long Would You Survive In A Zombie Apocalypse?How Long Would You Survive In A Zombie Apocalypse?

Trending Articles

Am I Autistic QuizAm I Autistic Quiz210+ Shower Thoughts: Funny, Deep, Weird & Mind-Blowing210+ Shower Thoughts: Funny, Deep, Weird & Mind-BlowingHow Sexual Am I QuizHow Sexual Am I QuizWhy Can't I Sleep QuizWhy Can't I Sleep QuizWhat's My Personality Based on My Song Choices QuizWhat's My Personality Based on My Song Choices QuizGuess My Deepest Secret QuizGuess My Deepest Secret Quiz

Featured Articles

 Roast Someone in a Rap Battle (Plus the Best Bars of All Time)How to Roast Someone in a Rap Battle (Plus the Best Bars of All Time)What Turns a Girl On? 31 Things to Try on Your PartnerWhat Turns a Girl On? 31 Things to Try on Your PartnerLove AnalyzerLove AnalyzerSending Your Sweetie a Love Note? Here are 200+ Romantic IdeasSending Your Sweetie a Love Note? Here are 200+ Romantic IdeasExercise Your BrainHow toExercise Your BrainBe a Fun Person to Hang out WithHow toBe a Fun Person to Hang out With

Featured Articles

What Does Your Morning Routine Say About You?What Does Your Morning Routine Say About You?Develop Productive HabitsHow toDevelop Productive HabitsPractice Self CareHow toPractice Self CareWhat Song Matches Your Life Right Now?What Song Matches Your Life Right Now?Will 2026 Be Your Year? Reveal Your FutureWill 2026 Be Your Year? Reveal Your FutureUnderstanding the Most Attractive Face Shapes (& Determining Your Own)Understanding the Most Attractive Face Shapes (& Determining Your Own)

Watch Articles

Amazing Super Bowl Party Ideas Guests Will Cheer ForAmazing Super Bowl Party Ideas Guests Will Cheer ForDevelop Listening SkillsHow toDevelop Listening SkillsNot Lose Your GirlfriendHow toNot Lose Your Girlfriend Draw an OwlHow to Draw an OwlTreat AllergiesHow toTreat AllergiesIntroduce Friends to Other FriendsHow toIntroduce Friends to Other Friends

Trending Articles

Can We Guess If You're Single or Taken?Can We Guess If You're Single or Taken?What Would My Nickname Be QuizWhat Would My Nickname Be QuizCan We Guess How Tall You Are QuizCan We Guess How Tall You Are Quiz5 Different Types of Butts: Find Your Shape5 Different Types of Butts: Find Your ShapeBe PrettyHow toBe PrettyKissing Tips: The wikiHow Guide to the Perfect KissKissing Tips: The wikiHow Guide to the Perfect Kiss

Quizzes & Games

Will I Ever Find Love QuizWill I Ever Find Love QuizTake QuizAm I Good at Flirting QuizAm I Good at Flirting QuizTake QuizWhat's the Name of My Future Boyfriend QuizWhat's the Name of My Future Boyfriend QuizTake QuizWho Is My Perfect BoyfriendWho Is My Perfect BoyfriendTake QuizWhy Am I Single QuizWhy Am I Single QuizTake QuizRizz Game: Test Your RizzRizz Game: Test Your RizzTake Quiz wikiHow
  • Categories
  • Relationships
  • Dating
  • Getting a Date
wikiHow Newsletter You're all set! Helpful how-tos delivered toyour inbox every week! Sign me up! By signing up you are agreeing to receive emails according to our privacy policy.
  • Home
  • About wikiHow
  • Experts
  • Jobs
  • Contact Us
  • Site Map
  • Terms of Use
  • Privacy Policy
  • Do Not Sell or Share My Info
  • Not Selling Info
  • Contribute

Follow Us

×

Get the best dating & love tips

wikiHow's Relationships Newsletter

Subscribe The first issue is coming soon! X --716

Tag » How To Find A Girlfriend