7 Tips About How To Stop Missing Someone | BetterHelp | Loneliness

Wondering, "How to stop missing someone?" There can be many reasons to miss someone who has gone from your life, either physically or emotionally. Maybe the relationship ended, and you didn't have closure. Conversely, perhaps you are still in a relationship heading toward the end and missing and mourning the emotional loss of your partnership. 

There are many valid reasons to miss someone or experience nostalgia. Tools like confiding in close friends, journaling, focusing on personal growth, talking to a therapist, or meditating may help you process, cope with, and move past the pain of missing someone. However, know that you're not alone in this experience.

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Why do I miss them? Understanding feelings of nostalgia and their impact on mental health

If you're missing someone, understand that nostalgia is a powerful experience. When remembering someone you've lost, it can be natural to focus on the positive memories with them and forget the negative ones. 

You may want to recall happy memories when you remember someone important to you, whether they were an ex-lover, a former spouse, or a friend. For this reason, you might experience a desire to have that person back in your life. One of the ways to cope with longing for someone who is gone is to stop idealizing them. If you are stuck in a nostalgic rut and continue to miss someone, consider adopting a more balanced relationship perspective.

In the United States, about 35% of marriages end in divorce, showcasing that separating from a long-term partner is common. If you've lost a marriage, it can be natural to miss how it used to be or wonder what could have been. If you don't have children or your ex-partner acted unhealthy toward you, you may have to cope with not seeing them again or being blocked, even if your relationship was cherished. However, despite the challenges of losing someone and missing them, people can often emerge from breakups happier and more fulfilled over time. You're not alone, and the pain of missing someone doesn't have to last forever. 

How to stop the pain of missing someone and start feeling better: Mind over matter and emotional support

There may be no magic remedy or wand to wave away the pain when you miss someone. Each person navigates the grieving process dirrently. However, you can take steps in your daily life to cope with, manage, and reconcile the pain you're feeling, including the following seven. 

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Do not expect to stop missing someone overnight 

There may be an adjustment period when someone you care about is gone. Your feelings after a breakup or loss are complex behavioral, biochemical, and physiological phenomena. Even if it was your decision to end the relationship, you may often think about and miss the person, as they used to be a vital part of your life. In some cases, missing someone may seem to disrupt your life. 

When a relationship first ends, you might miss this person up to 50 times a day. After a few weeks, you may only think about the person ten times a day. Eventually, you might realize that you do not miss them or only reminisce when reminded of them. Learning to cope with missing someone may take a few weeks, months, or years, depending on the relationship and your coping mechanisms. However, moving on is possible. 

Accept how you feel about the pain of missing someone

When you miss someone dearly, there may be days when you only want to lie on the bed and cry. Accepting the painmay help you move forward, as suppressing emotions is associated with worse health outcomes.

If you struggle to cope independently, talking about these feelings with a friend or professional may help you understand your feelings better. Conversely, suppressing your feelings can cause them to show up again later. They may manifest differently and affect your mental health or future relationships. Acknowledging your feelings and working through them can help you move forward.

Embrace the positive side of moving forward, improving mental health, and feeling less pain

Try to think about any positive reasons to move forward. For example, some people may find that the end of a relationship allows them to go out more with friends, binge-watch a new TV show, catch up on reading, or make a positive life change. Remember why you lost this person. If it was a breakup, there may be a healthy reason you are no longer together. Even when you miss someone, moving forward may be the healthiest choice. 

Get rid of reminders of them  

If you miss someone, consider avoiding reminders of them until you have moved on emotionally. For example: 

• Remove their contact info and any photos of them from your phone
• Mute or remove them from your social media accounts
• If you have any of their belongings, return them, trash them, or hide them away for the time being

Not seeing reminders of them may reduce your feelings of nostalgia or the urge to look at memories. 

Keep your mind busy and seek emotional support while learning how to stop missing someone

When missing someone, finding positive distractions may take your mind off them. Join a club, find a new hobby, enjoy a night out, or spend more time with family and friends. These strategies can be healthy ways to cope.

You can also try coping by changing your body chemistry by exercising. Peer-reviewed studies suggest that the physical effects of exercise boost endorphins that can improve your mental health.

Use the situation as motivation to be social 

Spending time grieving on your own can be healthy when you miss someone. However, consider re-introducing social situations, as well. Spending too much time alone may worsen your mood and cause a stronger desire to reconnect with the person you miss. Get out and talk to your friends and family. Go to the grocery store or mall. No matter what you choose, leave your home and spend time with others. If you can enjoy life in the moment, you may begin forming new memories that make you feel better. 

Move into the future with hope 

Eventually, you may realize that you are thinking of the person you miss less and less, and it's becoming easier to manage the separation. You may also find someone else whom you care about, even if they don't replace your past connection. You deserve to move on and live your life on your terms. There is no magic time limit on when you can start forming new relationships and memories, so work with yourself to figure out a healthy process. 

Professional support options for learning how to stop missing someone

It can be natural to reminisce about people you've lost and cry over them, especially if they were a special person in your life. However, if missing someone is getting in the way of living a healthy life, it may be beneficial to talk to a mental health professional to start moving forward and coping. With a therapist, you can talk about grief and devise solutions for your functioning challenges. 

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Accessing professional emotional support through online therapy

If you struggle to reach out to an in-person therapist due to your symptoms, you might also try online therapy through a platform like BetterHelp. In addition to the convenience, online therapy also offers: 

• Flexible online scheduling
• The ability to message your therapist at any time on the app
• Online tools such as journals and weekly group classes

Online therapy is an evidence-based way to help manage challenging feelings

Internet-based therapy is backed by current research in the field of psychology. A comprehensive meta-analysis demonstrated its effectiveness in treating various mental health conditions and symptoms. Researchers in the study examined various populations and modes of therapeutic intervention and showed no significant difference in in-person and online therapy outcomes, showcasing their similar effectiveness. 

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Takeaway

It can be challenging to miss someone after they leave your life. However, there are ways to cope with this experience healthily. If you struggle to do so on your own, consider reaching out to a licensed therapist to receive further guidance and support.