7 Ways To Calm Down A Man When He Is Angry And Defensive

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  • 7 ways to calm down a man when he is angry and defensive
7 ways to calm down a man when he is angry and defensiveTIMESOFINDIA.COM / Jul 20, 2021, 21:00 ISTShareAA+Text Size
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​7 ways to calm down a man when he is angry and defensive
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​7 ways to calm down a man when he is angry and defensive

Anger is one of the many natural human emotions. We all get angry every now and then, and there is nothing wrong with expressing it. However, where you draw the line between anger and overreaction is something everyone needs to know and understand. Turning violent and aggressive is not acceptable at all. In addition, it is important to understand and help your partner if he gets angry and defensive due to some reason. To help you with this, here are 7 ways to calm down a man when he is angry and defensive.

​Treat his anger as a call for help
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​Treat his anger as a call for help

The reason behind your husband's or boyfriend's anger might be some psychological distress. Hence, offer him assistance. Ask him if there is anything you could do to make him feel better. By making an effort to understand what has angered him can help him better handle it.

​Try to remain calm
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​Try to remain calm

It is very natural for your temper to flare when your partner is angry. However, your counter-anger will only escalate the tension. Though it is difficult, try to remain calm and patient. When you feel your temper rising, breathe and then respond thoughtfully.

​Make him feel emotionally safe
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​Make him feel emotionally safe

When he is angry, say soothing things to your husband and avoid criticizing him. Also, listen attentively to him and make him feel emotionally supported. Remember that men need emotional safety just as much as women do.

​Practice compassion
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​Practice compassion

Turning your angry husband's hostile feelings into love and kindness through compassion is the solution you are looking for. Practicing compassion against his intense reactions can help heal you both.

​Never assume
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​Never assume

Never assume that you know the reason behind your husband's anger. Do ask questions to clarify the reason and ask about his needs and feelings. Talk to him about the reason for your worry and the changes you notice in his behavior when he is angry. This will help you both.

​Listen to him actively
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​Listen to him actively

Don't just wait for him to finish speaking so that you can start talking. Communicate directly and use reflective listening. Make sure you reaffirm whatever your partner shares with you. He won't feel connected unless he feels you get what he is saying or experiencing.

​Spot the anger early
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​Spot the anger early

Don't forget that prevention is better than cure. Early intervention from your side either keeps the anger from starting or at least keeps it from getting stronger. The sooner you recognize the anger, the greater your ability to respond and manage the situation before it gets out of control.

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