9 Steps To Take When Preparing For Divorce - Brides

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It is easier and less costly if you and your spouse are able to settle without litigation. "The simple idea is, don't spend 10 to get 5, both financially and emotionally," says Emily E. Rubenstein, a Beverly Hills, California-based divorce attorney. In other words, says family law attorney Sabrina Shaheen Cronin, "Attorneys should do a better job of counseling their clients to show them the pros and cons of ongoing litigation. For instance, if it costs $10,000 in attorneys’ fees to 'win' some assets worth $5,000, you would have been better off walking away from that asset and negotiating something else."

Responsible attorneys will typically recommend against litigation if possible, or keeping it to a minimum. They may also decline to litigate your case if they determine you are unable to pay for an attorney, make false claims about your case, or feel that your case will not fare well before a judge.

As an alternative to going to court, consider whether a collaborative approach or mediation may work best for your needs. A collaborative approach is "for couples that want to stay out of court but have complex issues (and lots of money)," says Erin Levine, founder, and CEO of Hello Divorce, a service that guides clients through the divorce process through self-help software and access to legal experts. "Several professionals are involved – ranging from lawyers and financial planners to a co-parenting counselor – all with the goal of reaching an agreement outside of court."

In mediation, "The parties work with a neutral mediator who helps them to resolve the key issues in divorce (co-parenting, support, property and debt)," Levine explains, adding that sometimes spouses will consult with their own lawyer throughout the process. "When you work with a lawyer in this capacity, it’s called legal coaching," Levine says.

"Non-lawyers also don't often realize that litigation has a very high emotional cost," Rubenstein says. "Paying for attorney preparation time, hours in court, plus costs like filing fees and other services often adds up to more than the fight is worth."