911 Calls - Paradise PD Wiki - Fandom

911 Calls are promotional videos for Paradise PD that are uploaded on the show's Twitter page. They are parodies of the recorded 911 calls from crime documentaries, news reports, and police shows. The calls are skits, where some crazy person will call the police and get into funny conversations with the operators.

Contents

• 1 Calls
  • 1.1 Sink Disposal
  • 1.2 Meth Illegality
  • 1.3 Dog Break-In
  • 1.4 Demon Worshippers
  • 1.5 Knife Hands
  • 1.6 Being Kidnapped
  • 1.7 Bottle of Conditioner
  • 1.8 Kissing
  • 1.9 Indian Food
  • 1.10 Season 2
  • 1.11 Home Alone
  • 1.12 Spooky Baby
  • 1.13 Spanish
  • 1.14 The Scotsman
  • 1.15 Fetal Attraction
    • 1.15.1 Brownies
    • 1.15.2 My Body’s a Haunted House
    • 1.15.3 Assaulted by Fetus
    • 1.15.4 Copycat Killer
• 2 Trivia
• 3 Videos

Calls[]

Sink Disposal[]

A guy calls the police to tell them that he accidentally ground his dick up in the sink disposal. His wife was using the only bathroom so he went to piss in the sink and somehow slipped on his own piss and got his dick caught in the drain. When trying to pull himself out, he accidentally flipped the disposal switch and ground his dick to bloody shreds and splattered it all over the walls.

Meth Illegality[]

A guy stupidly calls the police to ask in meth is illegal because he's cooking it. The police track down his info and immediately send someone over to bust him.

Dog Break-In[]

Some guy calls the police to report a break-in from a dog only for it to turn out that he let the dog in, himself.

Demon Worshippers[]

A woman calls the police to report a Satanist worshipping party going on next door, complete with people beating the corpse of a donkey, hanging from a tree and eating what comes out of it. The police soon figure out that she's describing a pinata and that this is just a kid's birthday party. The police also note that she's not the first person to call with the same complaint, as numerous other parents called, out of jealousy of their kids not being invited. The woman decides to report this as a hate crime and immediately gets hung up on.

Knife Hands[]

A guy says that he woke up and mysteriously found himself having knives for hands, only to later realize that he actually has normal hands that he was just tripping on acid.

Being Kidnapped[]

Some crazy old lady claims to have been kidnapped only for it to be revealed that this so-called "kidnapper" is actually her grandson picking her up and taking her to her house, which is what she asked him to do. Because of her amnesia, she forgot that she asked him to pick her up and also forgot who her own grandson was and she just assumed she was being kidnapped by a stranger.

Bottle of Conditioner[]

A guy reports that his wife shoved a bottle of shampoo conditioner up his ass.

Kissing[]

A girl named Jasmine calls the police to turn herself in, admitting that she kissed someone else, who wasn't her fiance. During the call, Jasmine's fiance, Brad comes home and Jasmine confesses to cheating on him, while still on the line with the police. Brad instantly forgives Jasmine and proposes to her, causing the latter to be so happy, that she vomits profusely all over the phone. The cop wishes her a half-hearted "congratulations" and hangs up.

Indian Food[]

A guy calls the police to say that he ate too much vindaloo and proceeds to vomit and shit all over the place.

Season 2[]

A guy threatens to cut his own nipples off if Paradise PD doesn't get a second season. He also mentions putting a brick on the gas pedal of his car, which is aimed toward a cliff, making a suicide threat over his favorite show getting canceled. The operator says that they'll be able to give the show a second season, satisfying his needs. Unfortunately for the caller, he had already put a brick on the gas pedal of his car to kill himself and he dies before he can undo it. This was done to promote the upcoming second season of Paradise PD.

Home Alone[]

After watching Home Alone, a man set up a bunch of booby traps in his house and left to go on vacation to Antigua. When he returned, he forgot about the traps and accidentally set them all off on himself. Opening the door alone set his hair on fire, made him slip on some marbles, and got him slammed in the penis with a paint can. While he calls the cops, an egg timer goes off releasing a bunch of bees into the house, which sting him.

Spooky Baby[]

A guy calls 911 to say that a scary baby is following him. When the guy adds that the baby is not accompanied by adults, the cop urges him to find the parents but the man refuses, assuming the parents are going to be scary too. The man proceeds to play on the playground, which the cop tells him isn't allowed before the mother of the baby finally comes back to put it in the stroller.

Spanish[]

A guy calls 911 to say that he can't stop speaking Spanish. The operator tries speaking the language with him, but then the guy says that he doesn't speak Spanish. Later, the guy explains that he hit his head really hard and now he can't stop speaking Spanish. So, the operator tells him to hit his head again. This works, but then the guy says that the voice that he got isn't his. The operator gets fed up and hangs up on him.

The Scotsman[]

An elderly 83 Year Old Scottish man called 911 for help from being stuck in a orgy. He needed help to "get back up", but the operator told him that its 8 in the morning being early. When the Scottish realize that its 8:00 AM, he was late for work as a greeter, surprising the operator of the man's age to still be working. The old man wants to change his "order" as ask the operator to have someone pick him up from his house; until the Scotsman started to pump his penis and getting aroused from it, leaving the operator speechless and frightened from hearing the Scotsman pumping himself and the called end with the old man screaming with excitement.

Fetal Attraction[]

Brownies[]

After eating a pot brownie that Bullet gave him a bag of, fooling him into thinking they were normal brownies in hopes he’d eat them, get high and freak out as a plan of revenge for the events in The World According to LARP, a stoned Dusty calls 911 in a panic believing he’s dead, his heart’s beating backwards, and he’s splitting into two people, as well as many other random things, while the dispatcher futilely attempts to help him, before he abruptly hung up to finish eating the brownies, promising to call back.

My Body’s a Haunted House[]

Sometime after that, after eating the rest of the pot brownies, a calmer Dusty once again calls 911 to report his body being a “haunted house”, much to the dispatcher, annoyed at this caller abusing 911’s frustration, after asking how many brownies he ate, Dusty begins speaking gibberish instead of English, to which the dispatcher concludes that his brain broke, and after half-hearted attempts to understand his nonsense, the dispatcher hangs up on him.

Assaulted by Fetus[]

After being attacked by Fetus, a furious Randall frantically calls 911 and reports his unborn son attacked him. At this point, the dispatcher likely became fed up with all the idiots calling him, and instead of even attempting to help the Chief, simply informed him he was quitting. To which Randall peacefully agreed.

Copycat Killer[]

At the height of the episode, a still high, but naked Dusty, unaware he’s staring into his mirror, calls 911 one last time to report a naked intruder inexplicably staring at him in his bathroom talking on a phone, the dispatcher asks him to describe the man, and after making threatening gestures at himself, decides to headbutt the mirror, audibly shattering it and making a massive gash on his head, which bleeds, but Dusty’s satisfied at the fact that he “fucked him up”, at that point, the dispatcher explains that he’s standing in front of a “copycat killer”, assuring him he’s handled this before and to follow his instructions to deal with the murderer, which were basically to jump out of his third story apartment’s window, which he blindly follows, smugly believing he’s fooling the murderer, but just ends up falling out of the window on his head. Then, it reveals the person on the other end of the phone was Bullet impersonating the dispatcher, who just quits his job but his voice was use to mimic, to his amusement, he declares that makes them finally even.

Trivia[]

• The police station these calls are being forwarded to is most certainly not Paradise Police Department, as the voices of the operators don't match anyone who works there. However, they still must be from a police station in Paradise, meaning that there's more than one in the show.
• A few 911 calls were feature in the episode "Fetal Attraction", when a stoned Dusty Marlow made phone calls to Bullet at the Paradise Police Department.

Videos[]

The Funniest 911 Calls From Paradise PD - NetflixParadise PD Season 3 - Official Clip - Netflix