A Beginner Lolita's Guide To Avoiding Common... - Lolita Tips

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text Jan 05, 2012 A Beginner Lolita’s Guide to Avoiding Common Beginner Mistakes

In other words, “A Beginner’s Guide to Not Being an Ita.”

I think the first thing to answer here though is a question I get a lot which is “What is an ita?” Well, an ita is basically a really, really bad Lolita. The term comes from the Japanese word “itai” meaning “ouch.” Literally, an ita is a Lolita who “looks so bad it’s painful to look at.” Ita has become a pretty popular insult among the Lolita community and clearly it’s something you would want to avoid being called. So, how can you avoid being an ita? Well my friend, read on and you shall learn! (It’s a long article so I’m putting it under a break but if you’re really serious about starting Lolita there is a lot of stuff in here that you should know!)

The first beginner mistake that I would like to point out is important because it can influence a lot of other mistakes. It’s a mistake that a lot of you may know from reading my previous post about rectangle headdresses. That’s right, it’s anime and the effect it’s had on Lolita. It’s no secret that a lot of Lolitas are introduced to the fashion through anime in some way whether it’s something you saw in an anime or manga, something you saw in a drawing, something you learned about through cosplay or at a convention, etc. ManyLolitas learn about the fashion through anime and that’s perfectly fine, I actually learned about Lolita through anime and I’m not afraid to admit that. The problem though is that anime doesn’t always provide an accurate image of what Lolita fashion really is.This is because most anime artists don’t know all that much about Lolita. They know it’s cute and frilly and they just sort of know the basic look of it. This is why you tend to get a lot of pictures of scantily clad anime girls with black dresses with white ruffles that artists try to pass off as Lolita. And really, that’s all fine and dandy. They’re just artists drawing some cute girls in cute dresses and even if they aren’t particularly Lolita, the characters almost always end up adorable anyway. So then what’s the problem?Well, after seeing these anime girls wearing “this lolita thing”, people start picking up on that and decide that they want to look like those anime girls! This creates a problem though because people are just copying what they think Lolita looks like based on anime pictures. Even if these images do show good representations of Lolita, they can’t necessarily give good representations of quality materials. And thus we end up with the stereotypical anime convention “cosplay lolita.” Black dress covered in cheap white lace, huge black rectangle headdress covered in white lace, etc.

So the first thing you need to learn is to not let anime influence the way you look at Lolita! The characters from Rozen Maiden aren’t Lolitas. Chii from Chobits is not a Lolita. Misa Amane from Death Note is not a Lolita. There are very few proper representations of Lolita in anime. (There are some, but not many.) So as much as you may love anime, leave that love of anime out of Lolita as much as possible. Lolita is NOT cosplay and should not be treated as such.

Now that we have that out of the way, lets take a look at elements of an outfit that can make it ita. Let’s start with the worst offender.

Lace! Lace everywhere! Black lace, white lace, huge lace, thin lace, dresses dripping in lace! Here’s a tip for you: more lace does not make something more Lolita. This is probably one of the most common problems, especially when it’s a black dress with a lot of white lace. (This is probably that’s because that’s what’s most commonly depicted in anime.) At one point that was the height of Gothic Lolita fashion, but even so, it was still good quality. If you’re using lace you pulled out of the $1 bin at the fabric store, it’s probably not good quality lace and shouldn’t be used on anything for Lolita. If you want to know more on the difference between good lace and bad lace (which I really recommend doing), check out this guide.

An ita staple is a black dress with white lace and this has given black and white outfits a really bad reputation in the Lolita community. But just because it’s an ita stereotype doesn’t mean there’s no way to do it right! It’s all about quality and balance. The high contrast between the black and white can really overwhelm your coord, particularly when you add the texture and three-dimensional aspect that you get from lace as opposed to a printed pattern like stripes or polka-dots. Sometimes you’ll come across a very nice Loltia dress that has a lot of lace (such as Princess Cornelia’s Decoration Ribbon OP) and it certainly can be done tastefully but in these cases it’s rare to have such a stark contrast and the lace is always high quality.

Another mistake that often tends to be done in the same dresses where lace is running rampant is corset lacing. No, not functional corsets, but corset lacing put in the front of a dress for decoration. Once again, there is a right way to do this and a wrong way to do this. The corset lacing shouldn’t cover your entire chest from side to side and it definitely shouldn’t cover the entire front of the chest. A little in the middle is all that’s needed to get the point across.

Something else to keep in mind is that good quality isn’t limited to just the lace. Lolita is meant to look elegant, no matter which style you’re going for, and using low quality fabrics, ribbons, etc. definitely takes away from this. Quality is key with Lolita and everything should be well made and made with good materials. This is why fabrics like satin and stretch velvet are often avoided. Satin and velvet are sometimes used by brands to make dresses that are absolutely stunning, but the problem is when people go and get the same cheap satin you might find used for Halloween costumes. It’s best to stay away from materials like this until you have a lot of experience with Lolita. Remember, even if your coord was inexpensive, you don’t want it to look cheap!

Another big problem that beginners have is trying too hard to be unique and special right off the bat. Lolita is definitely about expressing yourself but it’s important to figure out what works and doesn’t work in Lolita before you go too crazy. Don’t try to throw rainbow striped socks into an otherwise all black and white outfit. Don’t try to pull off fuzzy rave leg warmers with Lolita. After you’ve been in Lolita for a while and you’ve had a lot of successful coords put together, then you can start putting your own spin on things. It’s usually best to start off simple so you can actually get the hang of things first. A big part of Lolita is good coordination. This can mean a lot of things. Color coordination, knowing what accessories look good together, coordinating your hair and makeup with your clothes, etc. This is another place where beginners can go terribly terribly wrong and usually it has something to do with beginners trying too hard to stand out. Slow down and really take some time to figure things out rather than just throwing together this, that, and the other thing. Polyvore is a fantastic resource for getting used to coordinating outfits because you can see things together all in one place before you even buy anything. It’s a really great tool for experimenting and learning what looks good together. Keep in mind that not everything can be used for Lolita! Sure that miniskirt is adorable, but that doesn’t mean it’s Lolita. Don’t try to use every item in your closet as a Lolita item.

Something else that beginners tend to forget is the basic foundations of Lolita fashion. The shape, the length, and the concept of modesty. These are three of the most important aspects of Lolita that are often forgotten. The standard for Lolita is for the skirt/dress to be around knee length. In certain styles it can be a little shorter (but should never be short enough that it becomes a problem to bend over in) and in other styles (such as Classic Lolita) it can be a bit longer, sometimes calf-length. They should also have a shape given by a petticoat, meaning either a bell shape or an A-line shape depending on the style of the dress. Petticoats should be the proper Lolita shape and should be about an inch shorter than the skirt so they don’t peek out the bottom. Also, when trying to achieve the proper Lolita shape, remember where everything goes. Lolita skirts are meant to sit at the natural waist (the smallest part of the waist), not the hips.

Modesty should also be kept in Lolita through the use of bloomers, blouses, stockings, etc. Cleavage shouldn’t show, nor should the whole leg. The idea with Lolita is to look cute and elegant and you shouldn’t show off too much skin.

One more big thing to take note of is hair and makeup. Lolita is a cute and elegant fashion, no matter what style you’re doing, and your hair and makeup should reflect that. Even if you’re doing Gothic Lolita, don’t overdo it with the Gothic makeup. (Just because Mana can pull certain things off doesn’t mean everyone can. Keep in mind that most of his photos are photoshopped to hell and back anyway.) Darker makeup can be worn but make sure it’s good quality as with everything else. You can experiment with your makeup to match your coords or you can just have a basic, more natural look that you wear with everything, just keep elegance in mind and try not to look like a clown.

Your hair should also be taken care of. Super elaborate hairstyles aren’t always a must, if you look at a lot of Lolita models they just wear their hair down, but be sure to take good care of it and keep it looking nice. Even if you have naturally curly and frizzy hair, there are still ways to work with it so it looks good. You should never look like you just came out of hibernation.

One more thing to consider when you’re trying out your first coords is simplicity. Start with a very simple coord with just the basics (dress or skirt and blouse, legwear, shoes, petticoat) and work from there, adding accessories and other things after you have the basic idea figured out. Starting simple and then adding on can help keep you from overloading your coord with too much stuff. And while we’re on the topic of simplicity, it is often best to start off with one of the three main Lolita styles: Gothic, Sweet, or Classic. This certainly isn’t a hard and fast rule but they do tend to be the easiest styles to start with because they’re less thematic than some others such as Hime Lolita or Wa-Lolita and they’re a bit more straight-forward.

I know, I know. This was a HUGE post and there was a lot of information to take in, but if you’re really serious about getting into Lolita, these are things you really need to know. Remember to start simple and don’t try to rush things. Take your time, save up money, and make sure you buy good quality pieces. Don’t try to make it a race or you’ll just end up looking rushed and not well put together. Just be patient and try your best.

This post is not trying to discourage anyone! Lolita can be really hard and the sooner you see that, the sooner you can overcome it. No Lolita wants to be called an ita and I’m trying to save beginners from having to deal with that. If you do just happen to like those “ita lace monster” dresses, go ahead and wear them! But if you want to avoid being called an ita, don’t say it’s Lolita! Wear what you like, but if it’s not Lolita, don’t say it is. That would be like saying “I made a cake” when you’re pulling a tray of cookies out of the oven. You didn’t make a cake and everyone can see that, so why say that you did?

So, I know this post was excruciatingly long, but if you’re serious about becoming a Lolita, read it! You won’t regret it! So I hope you read this and take my advice so that maybe we can get a little closer to getting rid of the word ita. (It may never happen, but one can always dream.)

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