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BF thinks he is better than me

By love.sick.101 October 1, 2017 in Dating

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love.sick.101

Posted October 1, 2017

love.sick.101

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Posted October 1, 2017

Last night , my boyfriend and I got into a huge fight. I was explaining to him, how after my ex and I broke up I was in a really unhappy place and how I tried so hard to be happy again and that I don't ever want to go down that path again. We were talking about this because we have been fighting a lot lately and getting annoyed/angry w one another more than usual and SO I just didn't want to lose myself again as a person. I was trying to explain all of it and he got extremely mad at me for bringing up my ex. He accused me of always bringing him up in our relationship and how I should just go be with him etc. Then out of anger he said that he Knows that I am out of his league(meaning he could do better). Although we solved it and he has apologized I still feel extremely hurt over that comment. What should I do?

d0nnivain

Posted October 1, 2017

d0nnivain

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Posted October 1, 2017

When somebody says you are out of their league, they are not insulting you. They are saying that they don't think they are good enough for you.

 

I don't understand how from his statement you concluded that your BF thinks he is better than you because he said the exact opposite.

 

Apologize to him for bringing up your EX. Never mention the EX again.

 

Why are you & the BF fighting? What can you do to resolve the conflicts?

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love.sick.101

Posted October 1, 2017

love.sick.101

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Posted October 1, 2017

No he didn't mean it as he thinks im too good for him. He meant it as he think he is too good for me.

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d0nnivain

Posted October 1, 2017

d0nnivain

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Posted October 1, 2017

Fine then break up with him because why would you want to stay with such a person?

elaine567

Posted October 1, 2017

elaine567

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Posted October 1, 2017

It is not the first time that this has come up, is it?

I don't think you can fix this.

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/621082-nationalistic-boyfriend

My boyfriend and I have been dating for 1 year now. We are both from different cultures and his family has been against us since the beginning as I am not from the same culture as them, although our religion is the same. My culture is an issue because years ago there was a war between our countries. We live in Canada and I have been raised to believe that we are all equal. However, his family thinks that we are basically scum because of the country my family originates from. In addition, my boyfriend is patriotic/nationalistic. Today we had a discussion about marriage and kids and he does not want me to teach our future kids anything about my culture such as my language. He wants me to be a lot more involved with his culture than mine and he does not want to be involved with my culture what so ever. I always assumed it would be equal or that it would not be an issue as we have the same religion and that religion trumps our cultures combined. I told him that it is better if we part ways and that he marries someone within his culture as he does not seem to accept me for who i am.

 

It makes me feel as if him and his family see me as inferior and would probably see my family as inferior as well.

I am extremely confused now and wondering if I really want to marry him now.

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BaileyB

Posted October 1, 2017

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Posted October 1, 2017

Yeah, relationships should not be filled with conflict and you should not be fighting all the time... That's not a good thing.

 

You should be with someone who makes you feel like you are out of his league - because you are so wonderful, he is "dating up." Don't waste your time with a guy who thinks that he is better than you... It's just not true.

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love.sick.101

Posted October 1, 2017

love.sick.101

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Posted October 1, 2017

Elaine , we have solved the culture issue. He is a lot more open and understanding with mine and our kids will learn both languages etc. He also wants to learn how to speak my language

elaine567

Posted October 1, 2017

elaine567

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Posted October 1, 2017

Elaine , we have solved the culture issue. He is a lot more open and understanding with mine and our kids will learn both languages etc. He also wants to learn how to speak my language

 

OK but he obviously still thinks he is "better" than you.

d0nnivain

Posted October 1, 2017

d0nnivain

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Posted October 1, 2017

You have thus identified the source of his belief that he's "better than you". He still harbors resentment about your different backgrounds. Please don't' have kids with him.

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love.sick.101

Posted October 1, 2017

love.sick.101

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Posted October 1, 2017

He apologized and said that he sees me as an equal and just said it out of anger but I can't seem to let it go

HiCrunchy

Posted October 1, 2017

HiCrunchy

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Posted October 1, 2017

To me this looks like a matter of being too incompatible.

It will not be a healthy relationship if you both decide to marry and have children. If your ex makes him uncomfortable, and he has expressed this then I think you should respect that.

Miss Spider

Posted October 1, 2017

Miss Spider

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Posted October 1, 2017

He's full of himself. I'd dump him

coolheadal

Posted October 1, 2017

coolheadal

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Posted October 1, 2017

Last night , my boyfriend and I got into a huge fight. I was explaining to him, how after my ex and I broke up I was in a really unhappy place and how I tried so hard to be happy again and that I don't ever want to go down that path again. We were talking about this because we have been fighting a lot lately and getting annoyed/angry w one another more than usual and SO I just didn't want to lose myself again as a person. I was trying to explain all of it and he got extremely mad at me for bringing up my ex. He accused me of always bringing him up in our relationship and how I should just go be with him etc. Then out of anger he said that he Knows that I am out of his league(meaning he could do better). Although we solved it and he has apologized I still feel extremely hurt over that comment. What should I do?

 

He loves you so much, and you love him. You need to drop the ex comments your just hurting you current bf to death. Ex is your ex for a reason and that's the past. You live in NOW (present with you new bf who loves you so much) don't mine the common your out of his league, he's was under duress, you have to excuse him and he already apologized to you. Try to except his apology and move on with a new life with him. Please try!

Miss Spider

Posted October 1, 2017

Miss Spider

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Posted October 1, 2017

You have said previously that he has made you feel inferior about your culture. I truly believe that a lot of times there is a grain of truth in things we say out of anger and that's why we choose particular things, things we find closest to the truth will be more impactful. The fact he would go there shows he is emotionally immature in the first place. I don't think this is a healthy rship

Gr8fuln2020

Posted October 1, 2017

Gr8fuln2020

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Posted October 1, 2017

I understand your bf being upset about you mentioning your ex, but the manner in which he responded leads me to believe that you both will have problems in the future.

 

He not only responded that he was upset regarding your ex, but he also threw in his feelings about further revealed how he feels he measures to you. He may have seemed more agreeable to your culture/language, but his past, his family and his most recent exclamation still shows that he harbours those feelings of superiority. People can change, of course, but I don't think he has....

coolheadal

Posted October 1, 2017

coolheadal

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Posted October 1, 2017

Colleagues we all just have to wait and see what she does next. Forgive and forget or just leave and never look back! We men say some strange things when were under duress to the woman we're with. Women not that perfect either. God made us all to work out our problems and to follow his commands in life. Just have to make things work or just more on...

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