Can An Introvert Become An Extrovert? - Dave Byrnes

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Many introverts who struggle socially or professionally will at one time ask whether an introvert can become an extrovert.

No, an introvert can not become an extrovert. Introversion and extroversion are how the brain is hardwired to gain energy, deal with outside stimulation, and process information. Being an introvert is who you are, not something that can or should be fixed.

Introversion is a scale however and as people change, their position on that scale can shift somewhat. No one is a pure introvert or extrovert. You will also vary in your introversion or extroversion depending on the situation or your relative strengths.

Introversion and shyness can often be confused with each other by introverts. Being an introvert is who you are, not something you can fix. Shyness is something that you can address.

Being introverted speaks to your preferences and your strengths. Poor or underdeveloped social skills can be improved to make you more capable and comfortable.

As an introvert, you can stretch yourself into more extroverted behaviours to achieve your goals or improve your skills. The trick is that it will cost you more energy and finding balance will be important for you.

Addressing shyness, improving skills, and building confidence may help you move the needle on the introvert vs extrovert scale, but they won’t change who you are at your core.

Is shyness the problem, not introversion?

Introversion is a preference based on who you are; you may simply feel little reward or enjoyment from many social situations, or just find them overwhelming. Shyness is based in fear; ranging from discomfort in unfamiliar situations to the fear of being negatively judged by others.

Your shyness can show up as the fear of being judged in social situations. An introvert may simply not care at all about being judged, but choose to avoid many social situations out of preference.

Was a young Bill Gates worried about being socially judged and therefore coded around the clock to avoid people? Or was he driven by his interest in technology and his desire to build computers and eventually a world-class company?

Shyness may stop you from voicing your ideas at work.

As an introvert, you are wired to process and think through an idea more fully before presenting it. It may just take longer for an introvert to voice that idea than an extrovert.

Shyness may stop you from talking in a group situation through fear of your words being judged.

As an introvert, you may prefer to let others speak their piece so you can weigh their words and add them to your own reflections on the topic.

One link we can draw between shyness and introversion is around risk-taking.

Introverts are less open to risk-taking, which could include speaking up and socializing in the younger, developing years.

A young introvert may have far fewer social interactions than a young extrovert, which will limit the development of their social skills. Competency is a huge factor in confidence, meaning an introvert could be less sure of their skills and compound any shyness already present.

Moving forward, shyness is something that can be worked on. You can reduce or eliminate shyness by improving your skills and by addressing self-esteem or confidence concerns.

Can an introvert act extroverted long term?

I’ve had conversations with successful introverts and read about many more, who pretended to be extroverted for large parts for their career.

For some it was what was expected of them in the workplace, some were in the wrong role, and others just did it because that’s how they thought they were expected to act.

Most of the people I have spoken to felt exhausted or like imposters. All of them felt happier and were more productive when they understood who they were and worked to their introvert strengths, rather than their weaknesses.

Energy

Just like the need for sleep, if an introvert ignores their need for solitude and reflection, they cannot recharge their energy.

Being in a sleep deprived-like state for 10 or 20 years in a career is a good recipe for burnout.

Potentially, you could act extroverted in all your uptime with the world and recharge when you have downtime. Many people have adopted this model and have spoken of the toll it took on them.

Most didn’t know any better.

Stimulation

An introvert’s brain is more sensitive to outside stimulation, such as noise, light, conversations, ideas, etc. It is a major reason why introverts prefer smaller, quieter social interactions to large, noisy ones.

Scientists have studied and shown the fact that introverts get overwhelmed and drained by too much stimulation.

Much like the above concept of not recharging your energy, acting extroverted permanently and exposing yourself to constant overstimulation will be draining.

It would be a constant drain on your energy, like leaving a light on in your car all the time.

Extroverts can handle much more stimulation than an introvert, but even they need to take a break and have some alone time occasionally.

Processing Information

When scientists have mapped what happens in the brain during a conversation or when receiving information, different parts of the brain fire introverts and extroverts.

An extrovert’s brain is more apt to fire a response quickly, whereas an introvert processes information in a longer fashion. To try and respond like an extrovert would be to ignore how your brain works and lessen the quality of your work or thinking.

As mentioned, extroverts are better at dealing with stimulation, including information overload. To ignore this and expose yourself to a constant overload of information is going to overwhelm you and diminish your performance.

Introvert Strengths and Weaknesses

An interesting critique of modern schools is that they make students focus on their areas of weakness, rather than their strengths. For example, if a student does well in English but struggles in math, it is likely they will be encouraged to spend extra time or tutoring in their weak subject (math) instead of focusing on the subject they excel in.

The same can be said of an introvert acting like an extrovert long term.

Extrovert strengths include working in groups, expressing feelings easily, risk taking and making friends readily. While everyone is a little different, broadly speaking these are the weaknesses of most introverts.

Does it make sense to operate exclusively in your weaknesses?

If you were terrible at math would it make any sense to pursue a career in statistics or as an algebra teacher?

If you were to work in a way that focused on your weaknesses, how successful do you think you would be in

your career?

If you were constantly working in areas you struggled in (like math for me) how motivated and energetic would you be?

Can an introvert become an extrovert short term?

The idea of stretching your comfort zone to achieve growth is essential to personal success in any professional realm. The key point here is to stretch yourself occasionally, rather than constantly pretending to be something you’re not and suffering for it.

I’ve worked hard at developing my speaking skills in recent years. I resisted the feedback to be more expressive with my voice and my actions because it didn’t feel like me.

I enjoy the creative side of speech writing and developing ideas more than the delivery side. I’m an introvert talking about introversion – why shouldn’t I act like an introvert on stage?

It wasn’t until I realized my delivery was affecting the audience’s ability to receive my message that I found a reason bigger than myself to step outside my comfort zone and go bigger.

Areas introverts can stretch briefly for success

Networking:

Networking is an essential part of business and careers. Attending a networking event or consciously building your network in short bursts can be enough to move you forward.

Reverting to more one-on-one interactions in the follow-up or relationship-building phase will work to your strengths and be inside your comfort zone.

Risk-Taking:

Risk-taking behaviour such as asking for the sale or talking to your boss about a raise is going to be necessary for success. They may be uncomfortable for an introvert but they only require brief moments of bravery to achieve.

Collaboration:

Collaboration in the workplace is an ongoing trend that introverts struggle with in the workplace. An introvert is going to collaborate better by going away and working on a problem before presenting ideas to the team, rather than being locked in a room all day with the noise of “brainstorming.”

It is important to realize that stretching into these areas is going to take more energy than your regular comfort zone. It will be important to recognize when you are reaching your limit and to recharge yourself.

The additional bonus of stretching yourself is that as you develop competence you will find these activities easier (at least a little) and your confidence will grow.

While I had always been a strong communicator in written form, I was not a natural when it came to speaking in front of an audience. As I pushed myself consistently and built skills and confidence, things became easier and less taxing on my energy.

You can do this too.