Coming Too Soon

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HomeSexSexual problemsComing too soonSexual problemsLees voorPrintComing too soonWhat is too soon?Tips for delaying orgasm'No return'Exercise: Stop-start methodExercise: The squeeze techniqueWhy do I come so quickly?Carry on!

A lot of men have an orgasm sooner they want to. What can you do about that?

What is too soon?

Coming too soon is: coming within 1 minute of having penetrative sex or coming as soon as the penis is touched. A lot of men think they’ve come too soon if it’s within 3 minutes. That is not true. Most men come within 3 minutes of having penetrative sex. When you get older, it can take a bit longer.

Tips for delaying orgasm

• Stop moving or move slower.
• Find a position where you don't come so quickly.
• Wrap your thumb and index finger round your scrotum. Pull down gently when you're about to have an orgasm.
• Try out condoms with a special lubricant designed to delay orgasm (Performa condoms by Durex).

'No return'

Do you recognise that moment when you're about to come, and you can't hold it back any longer? That's called the moment of no return. This moment is 2 to 3 seconds before your orgasm. If you don't want to come too quickly, you have to make sure you stop before you get there. This probably won’t work the first time you try it. You have to practise.

Exercise: Stop-start method

Masturbate. Stop just before you come. Wait until the arousal has subsided. Then carry on masturbating. When you've repeated this a few times, you can have your orgasm. Do this first without a lubricant and then with one. After that you can try it out while you’re having penetrative sex.

Exercise: The squeeze technique

Masturbate until you're almost coming. Squeeze firmly with your thumb and fingers directly beneath the head of your penis. You may have to search to find out exactly where to squeeze. The feeling that you're about to come disappears. Then you carry on. After you've repeated this a few times, you can have your orgasm. Once you understand how it works, you can try this out with your partner.

Why do I come so quickly?

• You’re highly aroused.
• You don't yet know how to delay it for a while.
• You're not relaxed when making love.
• You're so scared of coming too soon, that it's exactly what happens!

Carry on!

Coming too soon doesn't mean you have to stop having sex. Carry on pleasuring your partner. Who knows, you may come again. Don't be ashamed to talk about it with your partner. Find out together what works for you.

Male orgasm

A man who is aroused can have an orgasm. Coming is another word for orgasm. Want to know more?

Also look at

Not in the mood for sexAlways in the mood for sexNot lubricatedNo erectionTrouble reaching orgasmPain during sex – womenPain during sex – menPainful anal sex

Also look at

Not in the mood for sex

Are you not always in the mood for sex, and is that a problem? Don't worry, it happens to many women and men. Find out what to do about it here. Read more

Always in the mood for sex

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Not lubricated

Sometimes your vagina is too dry for sex. So something going into your vagina isn't pleasant. Read here why this happens and what you can do about it. Read more

No erection

It's annoying when you can't get or keep an erection. What causes that? And what can you do to make sure you have an erection? Read all about it here! Read more

Trouble reaching orgasm

Sometimes women, or even men, find it difficult to reach orgasm. It takes too long or doesn't happen at all. Why is this and what can you do about it? Read more

Pain during sex – women

A lot of women sometimes experience pain during sex. Stop if it hurts! Sex shouldn't be painful. What is causing the pain and what can you do about it? Read more

Pain during sex – men

Sometimes men experience pain during sexual intercourse. Don't suffer in silence. Sex shouldn't be painful. What causes pain when you have sex? Read more

Painful anal sex

Many women and men sometimes have pain during anal sex. Especially the partner who is being penetrated. What causes the pain and what can you do about it? Read more

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