Competitiveness - What's Up With Everyone?

Competition is everywhere now in life. Much more than it used to be. All sorts of activities have become competitive which used to just be fun, or relaxing, or part of everyday life. Take a moment to think about the competitions you hear about every day - cooking, baking cakes, pottery, photography, even putting on make up and dating!

It can be hard not to get pulled into a competitive mindset when it’s all around you, but if you don’t stop and reflect on it, and how it may be affecting you, it could ending up making you pretty stressed.

So, is being competitive good or bad?… well, it depends. Competition can be good and bad so you’ll need to keep an eye on it!

Competitiveness can be problematic when someone is overcompetitive. For someone who is overcompetitive, winning is all that counts. Such people have a very strong urge to win at all costs because being a ‘winner’ is a big part of who they are. It can define them.

They may use unfair strategies to win, because they actually have low self-esteem, a lot of self-doubt, high aggression, anxiety and potentially other negative feelings, but they ‘need’ to win. It doesn’t sound very healthy, does it? Most people are not like this, but competitiveness can still stress them out, or interfere with their enjoyment of life.

How about other types of competitiveness? Are they all bad?

Being competitive with someone else is okay as long as it’s not causing you emotional distress. By competing with your friends, classmates, or teammates, you may run faster, increase your motivation, study more, and work harder toward your goals.

There can be positive types of competitiveness. Competing with yourself, focusing on your personal development, can be a good thing, as long as you are kind to yourself and not overly critical. You may still be in “competition” with someone else but your focus is not on others. Your focus is solely on yourself. You are motivated by your self-achievement and a desire to master the task. You try hard to do your best (not be the best) and improve your knowledge or skills during the process of competition. This can lead to higher self-esteem, self-development, self-discovery, and task enjoyment. Sounds amazing, doesn’t it? It’s all about balance.

But if competitiveness starts to take over your thoughts, makes you feel miserable or leads you to neglect other important things, like friendship, then it is a problem. It can lead to problems such as isolation and burnout too. It can also drive perfectionism, which can make you unhappy.