Dating For Science - Tumblr

Anonymous asked: Hi, I like you page a lot. I'm new to online dating, and dating in general and I was wondering... Have you ever started a conversation with someone online and liked them instantly, but knew they were definitely the type of person who could hurt you (emotionally)? How do you deal with that?

What a question!

First off, thank you for reading. Since you are new to online dating and dating in general, you should probably read every single post on this blog. If you don’t have the time to do that, I can sum everything up in one sentence for you:

Trust your gut, be kind, and tell someone where you’re going.

What you are describing above - starting a conversation with someone you know could potentially hurt you - is pretty much how every single relationship begins, whether we understand that at the time or not. The truth of the matter is: everyone we come in contact with has the ability to hurt us in some way.

Taking a leap of faith and opening yourself up to heart break is one of the most terrifying and rewarding experiences you can have when it comes to dating. Sometimes it works out. Oftentimes it does not.

That’s why they make ice cream and streaming media and friends.

So, to answer your question: I deal with it by realizing it is a normal part of the experience. I enter into each situation with curiosity and flexibility and if something seems like trouble, I get out. Usually. Sometimes I stay for the trouble - because I learned that’s something I do - but usually it isn’t worth it. Except for that one time…

In some ways I think that if there isn’t a little part of you that is scared of what may happen if the person you are with suddenly doesn’t want to be with you, you might not be with the right person.

Vulnerability is so scary. But also so sexy.

Also, I’ve learned more about myself during break-ups than I have while in a relationship and, in my opinion, that’s made each relationship about 600% more valuable than it originally was. So there’s that.

Good luck!

09/5/16