Easy Ways To Ask A Girl To Be Your Girlfriend - WikiHow

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Terms of Use wikiHow is where trusted research and expert knowledge come together. Learn why people trust wikiHow How to Ask a Girl to Be Your Girlfriend PDF download Download Article Co-authored by Eddy Baller and Hannah Madden

Last Updated: June 5, 2025 Fact Checked

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  • The Casual Approach
  • |
  • The Heartfelt Approach
  • |
  • Asking Over Text
  • |
  • Examples and Letter to Ask a Girl to Be Your Girlfriend
  • |
  • Expert Q&A
  • |
  • Tips
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This article was co-authored by Eddy Baller and by wikiHow staff writer, Hannah Madden. Eddy Baller is a men’s dating coach and founder of Conquer and Win, a Vancouver-based service that helps men break free from loneliness and meet the women they truly want. Since 2011, he has coached men to overcome approach anxiety, spark real attraction, and build meaningful relationships—without relying on dating apps, gimmicks, or luck. Through both online sessions and in-person coaching, Eddy gives live feedback as clients meet women in everyday places, making confidence feel natural and conversations effortless. His mission is simple: to help men get into meaningful, long-term relationships. There are 8 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page. This article has been fact-checked, ensuring the accuracy of any cited facts and confirming the authority of its sources. This article has been viewed 2,404,889 times.

If you’ve met someone special and you’ve been hanging out for a while, you might feel like it’s time to pop the question (the girlfriend question, of course!). Thinking about asking someone to be your official girlfriend might have you freaked, so remember that it’s okay to be nervous. By planning ahead just a little bit and keeping some pointers in mind, you can get the question out as painlessly as possible. If the timing is right and she likes you back, you might just land a girlfriend!

Steps

Method 1 Method 1 of 3:

The Casual Approach

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  1. Step 1 Get to know her. 1 Get to know her. If you’re thinking about asking someone to be your girlfriend, you might already know a little bit about her. Try to chat with her and find out what she likes, dislikes, what her hobbies are, and what she does for fun. If you feel up to it, you can even add in a little bit of flirting here and there (a casual hand touch or a compliment would work great here).[1]
    • You can chat with her one on one, or talk in a group setting, if you’re more comfortable that way.
    • If you’ve been on a few dates before, you might already know a lot about her, which is great!
  2. Step 2 Catch her at the right time. 2 Catch her at the right time. Try to pick a time to talk when there aren’t a ton of distractions or people listening. You can meet up in a public park, take a walk around the block, or head to a small coffee shop for some one on one time.[2] [3]
    • If the timing doesn’t feel right or you run into a group of people, you can save your question for next time. Don’t feel pressured to ask if it doesn’t feel right!
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  3. Step 3 Engage in some light conversation. 3 Engage in some light conversation. Ask her about her day, tell her a funny story, or ask what she’s been up to. Even if you asked to hang out specifically so you could ask her to be your girlfriend, there’s no rush![4]
    • Compliments are a great go-to if you aren’t sure what to say. You could try something like, “Your outfit looks really nice today,” or, “I just love your laugh!”[5]
    • You can also keep it casual with questions like, “So how is work going?” or, “Have you been staying cool in the hot weather?”
  4. Step 4 Confess your feelings and ask her to be your girlfriend. 4 Confess your feelings and ask her to be your girlfriend. When there’s a lull in the conversation, take it to a more serious territory. Tell her that you like her and ask her if she’d like to be your girlfriend. This is the most nerve-wracking part, but you can do it![6]
    • Try something like, “So we’ve been hanging out for a little while, and I’m starting to have feelings for you. Would you like to be my girlfriend?”
    • Or, “We’ve been friends for so long, I feel like I know you so well. I really like you, and I wanted to ask if you’d like to be my girlfriend.”

    Tip: A more subtle option, so that it is not so direct and causes misunderstandings, would be "I would like to take our relationship to a higher level because I am attracted to you". Also, telling her directly if you want her to be your girlfriend is typical of boys and fifteen-year-olds.

  5. Step 5 Respond calmly, no matter what her reply is. 5 Respond calmly, no matter what her reply is. If she says yes, it’s time to celebrate! You can smile, laugh, and confess how nervous you were about asking her. From there, you can steer the conversation in another direction to move on with your night.[7]
    • If she says no thanks or that she’s not ready to be in a relationship, don’t sweat it. Everyone’s situation is different, and chances are, it doesn’t have much to do with you anyway. You can continue hanging out with her or you can wrap up the night and head home.
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Method 2 Method 2 of 3:

The Heartfelt Approach

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  1. Step 1 Befriend her. 1 Befriend her. Take the time to get to know her as a close friend before trying to progress to something more. Learn about her friends, her family, and what she likes to do for fun to see if you two would be a good match.[8]
    • This will also give you both time to figure out if you have feelings for each other.
  2. Step 2 Ask her to spend time with you one on one. 2 Ask her to spend time with you one on one. Once you reach a level of friendship that allows the two of you to hang out without being in a group, invite her to spend some time with you alone. You could go to a park, a coffee shop, or even out to dinner.
    • If you want to be cautious, ask her to visit someplace familiar yet different, like a different coffee shop or a nearby park that you have both talked about wanting to visit.
    • If you want to be a little bolder, ask her to spend the afternoon or evening with you without revealing your plans. You can take her out for a nice meal, an interesting show, or a night of dancing.
    • Reader Poll: We asked 271 wikiHow readers whether or not you should wait for 1-on-1 conversation to ask someone out, and 94% of them said yes, wait until you two are alone. [Take Poll]
  3. Step 3 Consider giving her a small, inexpensive gift. 3 Consider giving her a small, inexpensive gift. Unless you frequently throw gifts her way, a gift lets the girl know that there is something different—and special—about your time together this day when compared to any other day. A bouquet of flowers is always nice, or a box of chocolates to satiate her sweet tooth.[9]
    • Giving her a gift isn’t strictly necessary, so don’t go out and get one if it doesn’t feel right.
    • You could also give her something that reminds her of an inside joke you two have.
  4. Step 4 Tell her seriously how you feel. 4 Tell her seriously how you feel. After you have spent some time enjoying each other's company, sit down with her and tell her that you have something important to say. Once you have her undivided attention, tell her honestly that you have strong feelings for her and would like her to be your girlfriend.[10]
    • Try something like, “I really enjoy the time I spend with you and consider you an important part of my life. I can't help but have feelings for you past those of friendship, though. If you feel the same way, or think you could see me as a boyfriend, then I'd like to go out with you.”
  5. Step 5 Accept her answer no matter what. 5 Accept her answer no matter what. If she says yes, then you’re in the clear! You can keep hanging out and celebrate the fact that you two are now a couple. Maybe snap a few quick selfies to remember the moment for the rest of time.[11]
    • If she doesn’t accept, that’s okay too. You two can continue hanging out as friends as you look for romance somewhere else.
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Method 3 Method 3 of 3:

Asking Over Text

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  1. Step 1 Strike up a casual conversation. 1 Strike up a casual conversation. Start out with a simple opener that gets the conversation flowing. You could ask her what she’s been up to, how her day is going, or what her plans are for the weekend. Try to avoid a simple “hey,” since that doesn’t lead to much.[12]
    • Try something like, “Hey! How did the test go today?”
    • Or, “Got any plans for the nice weather this weekend?”
  2. Step 2 Ask her a few questions about her day. 2 Ask her a few questions about her day. Continue on with your text convo as smoothly as possible. You can see where the conversation leads naturally, or you can steer it by asking her questions about her day and what she’s doing.[13]
    • Good examples include, “How are you feeling today?” “What have you been up to?” and “Did you have a nice day off?”
    • If she’s taking a long time to reply, don’t sweat it—she’s probably just busy. You can wait until she replies to continue the conversation or just try it again another day.
  3. Step 3 Send her some compliments or sweet messages. 3 Send her some compliments or sweet messages. As your texting progresses, try flirting subtly with her by complimenting her or telling her how much you miss her. There’s a fine balance between laying it on too thick and being sweet, so try to toe it as carefully as possible![14]
    • Try something like, “You always make me laugh.”
    • Or, “I wish I could see your pretty face right now.”
    • You could even sprinkle in a few Emojis here and there to amp up the romance.
  4. Step 4 Tell her that you like her. 4 Tell her that you like her. If you’re getting vibes that she might like you too, go ahead and let her know. You don’t have to be super serious about it, so keep it fun and casual. This is a text convo, after all![15]
    • Try something like, “Hey, so I really like you.”
    • Telling someone about your feelings over text isn’t ideal, but if you live far away or can’t meet up, it might be the only option you have.
  5. Step 5 Pop the question directly. 5 Pop the question directly. After you confess your feelings to her, it’s time to ask the big question. Go ahead and send that text message, even if it makes you super nervous. If you don’t ask, you’ll never know![16]
    • A direct approach would be something like, “Will you be my girlfriend?”
    • Or you could try, “I’d love it if we could make our relationship official.”
  6. Step 6 Accept her response with grace. 6 Accept her response with grace. If she says yes, wahoo! You can ask her to meet up sometime soon face to face, or you can call her on the phone to express how happy you are. Your efforts paid off, and now you have the girlfriend of your dreams.[17]
    • If she says no, that’s okay too. Let her know that you respect her decision, and try to remain friends, if you can.
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Examples and Letter to Ask a Girl to Be Your Girlfriend

Sample Examples to Ask a Girl to Be Your Girlfriend Sample Letter Template to Ask a Girl to Be Your Girlfriend

Join the Discussion...

How do you ask a girl to be your girlfriend? WikiMountainCaster671 WikiMountainCaster671 I have gone on a few dates with a girl and I really like her. I think things are going well, and I want to ask her officially to be my girlfriend, but I feel so awkward about it! How do you approach that topic? What do you say? And when is the right time? Are 3 dates enough before asking someone to be your gf or is that too soon? Read More April Davis April Davis Matchmaker I recommend being direct, but also giving the person a way out and making them feel comfortable. You don't want them to feel like they have to automatically say yes just to make you feel good, because you want the truth. You don't want somebody to just tell you, “oh yeah, I'd like to continue the relationship too”, only for them to disappear because they didn't feel like they could have that conversation directly. The best way to do it is give them a safe way out so they feel like they're not hurting your feelings by telling you. You could say something like “You know what, I have enjoyed getting to know you and getting close to you. I'd like to be in a relationship because I can see this going far further, but I wanted to get an idea from you on where you're at. And if you don't feel the same way yet, that's okay too, because I just want to understand where you're at” and approaching it in a low-key way so they don't feel like you're expecting them to say one particular thing. You can also try just opening up the conversation without saying how you feel first. You could say “Hey, I'm just curious– how are you seeing things for us right now? Are you looking for a long-term thing? Are you just like having fun and just want to see where it goes? I'm just curious to know what your thoughts and intentions are”, that's a natural, easy way to give somebody a way to be honest, where they won't feel like they're hurting your feelings either way, but it will tell you what you need to know. Read More Elvina Lui, MFT Elvina Lui, MFT Marriage & Family Therapist It is common that people choose to hide their feelings because they want to avoid conflict and rejection at all costs, but doing this sabotages your chances at happiness. If you want a serious relationship with this girl, you see something in her that opens your heart and feel like she's someone you could share your life with, then you need to take action instead of letting it slip through your fingers. Read More See all 10 Replies and Read Discussion

Expert Q&A

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  • Question How do you get a girl to be your girlfriend? Eddy Baller Eddy Baller Dating Coach Eddy Baller is a men’s dating coach and founder of Conquer and Win, a Vancouver-based service that helps men break free from loneliness and meet the women they truly want. Since 2011, he has coached men to overcome approach anxiety, spark real attraction, and build meaningful relationships—without relying on dating apps, gimmicks, or luck. Through both online sessions and in-person coaching, Eddy gives live feedback as clients meet women in everyday places, making confidence feel natural and conversations effortless. His mission is simple: to help men get into meaningful, long-term relationships. Eddy Baller Eddy Baller Dating Coach Expert Answer You could always try giving her a compliment! This is an easy way to start a flirty conversation with her. Tell her she looks nice and see how she responds. Try to keep the conversation going so you can ask her to be your girlfriend. Thanks! We're glad this was helpful. Thank you for your feedback. If wikiHow has helped you, please consider a small contribution to support us in helping more readers like you. We’re committed to providing the world with free how-to resources, and even $1 helps us in our mission. Support wikiHow Yes No Not Helpful 14 Helpful 64
  • Question What should I do if she keeps on saying I'll tell you tomorrow? Drew Hawkins1 Drew Hawkins1 Community Answer Try being clear and direct and tell her that you need an answer. But at the same time, don't be pushy or aggressive. Make sure she knows it's okay if she says no. Thanks! We're glad this was helpful. Thank you for your feedback. If wikiHow has helped you, please consider a small contribution to support us in helping more readers like you. We’re committed to providing the world with free how-to resources, and even $1 helps us in our mission. Support wikiHow Yes No Not Helpful 31 Helpful 171
  • Question What if we can’t see each other, because we live pretty far away from each other (about 35km)? Drew Hawkins1 Drew Hawkins1 Community Answer Distance can be tough on a relationship, but if you really like each other, you can make it work! Have an honest discussion with her about how you feel and if she thinks you can make the distance work. Thanks! We're glad this was helpful. Thank you for your feedback. If wikiHow has helped you, please consider a small contribution to support us in helping more readers like you. We’re committed to providing the world with free how-to resources, and even $1 helps us in our mission. Support wikiHow Yes No Not Helpful 33 Helpful 104
See more answers Ask a Question 200 characters left Include your email address to get a message when this question is answered. Submit Advertisement

Tips

  • It can be really nerve-wracking to ask someone out, but you’ll never know if you don’t try. Thanks Helpful 0 Not Helpful 0
  • If she says no, move on. There are plenty of girls out there. But remember, each person is unique. Thanks Helpful 0 Not Helpful 0
Submit a Tip All tip submissions are carefully reviewed before being published Name Please provide your name and last initial Submit Thanks for submitting a tip for review! Advertisement

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References

  1. https://www.mantelligence.com/cute-ways-to-ask-a-girl-to-be-your-girlfriend/
  2. Eddy Baller. Dating Coach. Expert Interview
  3. https://www.lovetoknow.com/life/relationships/how-ask-girl-be-your-girlfriend
  4. https://truelovewords.com/effective-approaches-to-ask-a-girl-to-be-your-girlfriend/
  5. Eddy Baller. Dating Coach. Expert Interview
  6. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-attraction-doctor/201105/just-asking-for-it-part-ii-why-dating-partners-say-yes
  7. https://www.mantelligence.com/cute-ways-to-ask-a-girl-to-be-your-girlfriend/
  8. https://www.lovetoknow.com/life/relationships/how-ask-girl-be-your-girlfriend
  9. https://truelovewords.com/effective-approaches-to-ask-a-girl-to-be-your-girlfriend/
More References (8)
  1. https://truelovewords.com/effective-approaches-to-ask-a-girl-to-be-your-girlfriend/
  2. https://www.lovetoknow.com/life/relationships/how-ask-girl-be-your-girlfriend
  3. https://www.mantelligence.com/how-to-ask-a-girl-out-over-text/
  4. https://www.mantelligence.com/how-to-ask-a-girl-out-over-text/
  5. https://www.yahoo.com/lifestyle/135-best-compliments-girl-her-104000441.html
  6. https://www.seventeen.com/celebrity/a13674/top-valentines-day-flirty-texts/
  7. https://www.seventeen.com/celebrity/a13674/top-valentines-day-flirty-texts/
  8. https://www.mantelligence.com/how-to-ask-a-girl-out-over-text/

About This Article

Eddy Baller Co-authored by: Eddy Baller Dating Coach This article was co-authored by Eddy Baller and by wikiHow staff writer, Hannah Madden. Eddy Baller is a men’s dating coach and founder of Conquer and Win, a Vancouver-based service that helps men break free from loneliness and meet the women they truly want. Since 2011, he has coached men to overcome approach anxiety, spark real attraction, and build meaningful relationships—without relying on dating apps, gimmicks, or luck. Through both online sessions and in-person coaching, Eddy gives live feedback as clients meet women in everyday places, making confidence feel natural and conversations effortless. His mission is simple: to help men get into meaningful, long-term relationships. This article has been viewed 2,404,889 times. 68 votes - 86% Co-authors: 33 Updated: June 5, 2025 Views: 2,404,889 Categories: Featured Articles | Getting a Girlfriend In other languages Italian Spanish French Russian Portuguese German Chinese Czech Indonesian Dutch Thai Arabic Vietnamese Hindi Korean Turkish Japanese
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Reader Success Stories

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    Drew Ranel

    Feb 9, 2017

    "The tip that worked the most was tell her seriously how you feel. I told her that I had really liked her and..." more
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Yes No Advertisement Cookies make wikiHow better. By continuing to use our site, you agree to our cookie policy. Eddy Baller Co-authored by: Eddy Baller Dating Coach Co-authors: 33 Updated: June 5, 2025 Views: 2,404,889 86% of readers found this article helpful. 68 votes - 86% Click a star to add your vote Drew Ranel

Drew Ranel

Feb 9, 2017

"The tip that worked the most was tell her seriously how you feel. I told her that I had really liked her and..." more Anonymous

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"I really like this girl. She's my neighbor and I don't know if she is dating anyone, but I think she..." more Evan Washington

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"Thanks! I'm so happy and thankful for this. I have had absolutely no idea how to do this, and this gave me two..." more Anonymous

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