Episode 27: The Path To Whitestone - Critical Role Transcript
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Below is the full transcript of Critical Role episode 27, The Path to Whitestone. This episode courtesy of these lovely critters:
Transcription: hypocean (tumblr), @eponymous_rose, @PansyChubb, KrisleyAshten, Gedankeninventur, @LadySunset2, @piratebarda, @TiCaptain, and @asingingbadger!
Editing and timesetting: @asingingbadger, /u/elizabethdoesphysics, and @eponymous_rose!
Final SRT files | Final TXT files
MATT: Welcome, everybody, to Critical Role! OurThursday night show where a bunch of us nerdy-ass
voice actors play Dungeons and Dragons and rolldice and all that fun stuff in between! So for all
you new folks, welcome to our chaos. For all youold folks, thanks and welcome back. We have a
number of announcements to get through. I’ll tryand cruise through them as fast as humanly
possible. Pardon my phone as a reminder. Googledocs are a delightful thing. Starting off, I
wanted to direct all you Critters to our officialTwitter, @CriticalRole, for official news and
announcements. You’re welcome to still tweet at usfor individual cast fun but we do have our
official source for all official announcements,times, and our appearances. That would be the one
to pay attention to. Go to @CriticalRole, followit and any important stuff that comes in the
future will be available via that Twitter.Awesome. Next up this weekend we’re all going to
be at New York Comic Con, which is going to beawesome. We have a two hour block from noon to
2:00 PM Saturday, October 12th. Where is it at?What’s the room?
LIAM: It’s a weird word, the Winga Stage?
MATT: It’s not on the Google Doc. Curse you,Google doc! But Saturday from noon to 2:00 PM, and
then on Sunday, for those who can’t make theactual convention, we’re having an off-site
gathering of Critters at the wonderful andillustrious comic book store Forbidden Planet.
That will be from 2:30 to 4:30. Our time blockshifted a little later in the day. 2:30 to 4:30,
Forbidden Planet, we’ll be there. We’ll be signingautographs, meeting you guys, chatting it up, and
we’ll be debuting our brand new awesome posterhere, exclusively for the New York Comic Con. Our
Critical Role poster! We’re super excited aboutit. This was wonderfully designed by one of our
fellow Critters Joma Cueto. Joma did the art andKim Davis did the actual layout and design. Both
did an amazing job. We’re going to have a bunch ofthese available. We’ll be signing them for you
guys, and we’ll hope to see you there.
LIAM: I love it.
TRAVIS: They are pretty sexy.
LIAM: We’re going to be on the Wikia stage.
MATT: The Wikia stage on Saturday, near hall 1A,the Wikia stage at noon to 2:00 PM. Come find us
on Saturday, we’re going to be there. Also, a tonof mail was recently received just after Critmas.
If your gifts weren’t seen this last Critmas,they’re probably in this batch. So next Critmas is
probably going to be a long haul. It’s going to bea doozy! But we’re excited about that. That’ll be
the first Thursday of November, so look forward tothat happening then. Next update. If you haven’t
been paying attention, we’ve been havingoccasional interviews once a week of our cast
going up on Geek and Sundry’s website. Today wehad Travis’s go up and if you haven’t checked them
out you should. It’s a little step into ourmindset, our crazy history and background of how
this whole thing got started. Silly things ensue.So go read them if you have the chance, if you
haven’t yet. Or wait until after the show. Also,as of today we now have in the Geek and Sundry
store Critical Role key chains and necklaces.
LAURA: They look so cool.
MATT: Pretty rad. I’m really excited. They’remetal and awesome. They’re of our logo and if you
feel like being as nerdy as we are and want toadorn your key chains with them, they are there
available for your purchase.
LAURA: They’re custom order, so they make themwhen you order them. It takes a few weeks to get
them once you order them, but it’s worth it.
LIAM: They have to come all the way fromKraghammer.
MATT: Mithril’s hard to sculpt properly. Takes awhile. Couple of other things, LARP: the Series,
one of the live action series here in Geek andSundry. Season two just premiered today. It’s a
really cool series that both has moments of dramaand comedy that plays into the whole world and
lifestyle of the LARPing game systems and the people.It’s a really cool series. Check it out if that’s
your kind of bag. It’s good stuff, really funny.Next Monday starts a new show called TPK Monday
Nights, where our illustrious Ivan, who hosts manywonderful things here, will be running for the
rest of October a group of other individualsthrough the RPG Outbreak Undead, which is actually
a really cool RPG that Ivan actually designed and wasin the whole process for, so it’s Monday nights,
check that out the rest of October! To keep theHalloween theme, we will probably be getting dead
repeatedly at the hands of Ivan, so look forwardto that.
This is the last week you can buy the#NoShaveTil10k shirts. We have people who are
keeping it up. I had to shave for Vin Diesel, butthe rest of the month is straight on this now,
largely for my Halloween costume and for thiswonderful event. 20% of all proceeds from those
shirts goes to the Extra Life charity we’ve beensupporting, it helps out good people.
ZAC: I drew that shirt, by the way. I had to lookat his face for 12 hours.
TRAVIS: You’re welcome.
ZAC: We’ve already hit 9,100. Protocol95, you arethe first winner of the night!
MATT: Protocol95, congratulations. You will bewinning the first bundle. Every 100 subscribers
there will be another giveaway within the chatroom. You have to be active in the chat to be up
for it. It includes a cast photo signed by thecast of Critical Role, possibly signed while he’s
wearing that awesome beard. And a wonderful pieceof art from our main artist Kit Buss, also signed
by the cast of Critical Role. So every 100subscribers, that giveaway goes out in the
chatroom. Be active and bring your friends on tosubscribe so you can win one. Last thing I want to
mention, this has been a question that’s come upquite a bit, some people are definitely eager to
hear the information, so I had the pleasure onMonday this week of designing and running a very
quick game of Dungeons and Dragons for VinDiesel.
LIAM: What? (laughs)
MATT: Let’s just cross that bucket list item offimmediately. That was ridiculous. So it was a lot
of fun. He was fantastic, super awesome, genuine,and was really excited–
LAURA: He rolled this die. It’s sacred.
TALIESIN: It was literally bucket list! That wasone of the things we discussed when this game started;
it could lead to a game with Vin Diesel.
MARISHA: I bet if you go back and look at the Qand A session we had, someone asked our dream game
crew–
MATT: Vin Diesel was one of our bucket listplayers. So we’ve already knocked one off on the
show.
TALIESIN: It’s like a group mass suicide at thispoint.
MATT: Get matching tennis shoes, and it’ll begreat.
LIAM: You didn’t seem that excited, though.
ZAC: We can already announce that next Thursday atthe midpoint–
MATT: Next Thursday at the midpoint of next week’sCritical Role, we are going to show a mostly
complete video of that game. The full one will bereleased shortly thereafter, but next week, on
Critical Role during the midpoint, we’re going toshow you the majority of that game session with
him. Don’t miss that.
ORION: Can I get a teaser? What did he smelllike?
LIAM: Iron.
TRAVIS: Quarry.
LAURA: Muscle.
TALIESIN: Antifreeze and lilac.
MATT: All of those answers at once. A majesticscent. It was delightful. We’ll have interviews
going up throughout the week, exclusively nextweek here on Thursday you’ll be seeing most of
that game here and then more stuff’s coming outfor the week thereafter. Really excited about
that, and I custom-made a witchhunter class forhim that I tailored for that level, and there’s
been such a wide response for everyone askingabout the class that I’ve now spent a lot of my
free time that I’m not preparing for this game nowcustomizing a homebrew witchhunter class for all
of you to partake in. So that’ll be fun andprobably coming out sometime next week. It’ll
probably be broken. You’re welcome to homebrew myhomebrew, I’m not perfect, but it should be fun
and a cool guide for some people to give it a shotas a player class, so look forward to that. Liam,
you got a couple things to announce?
LIAM: Yeah, just two things. I wanted to thankevery Critter who helped out with Joe Madureira’s
Kickstarter with Airship Syndicate’s Kickstarterfor Battle Chasers: Nightwar. They crushed it.
They got to almost every rung of their ladder.Maybe you guys could help them raise 100k tonight.
But Joe told me that they saw a little bit of abump every Thursday, and that our roleplaying
power had some effect, so thank you guys, thankyou very much.
TRAVIS: Because we are many.
MATT: We are legion.
LIAM: The other thing is tomorrow is Sam Riegel’sbirthday.
TRAVIS: Nipples, is it really?
LIAM: I have a birthday present for him tonight.Something I commissioned the lovely Kit Buss to
make for you.
SAM: What? It’s Vaxmas?
LIAM: It’s Vaxmas. Here it is. I’m going to sendit across and then I’ll tweet it out. You guys can
look, but I made this just for you.
SAM: I’m not looking.
MARISHA: I made this just for you.
SAM: Oh wow, that’s really nice! I thought it wasgoing to be vulgar. Wow. That’s so sweet.
TRAVIS: Kit Buss, why are you the best?
SAM: Thank you, Kit Buss. Me and two ladies, whatcould be better? Right?
TRAVIS: I guess three ladies.
SAM: I don’t know how to put this up, but thankyou. That’s so sweet. Aw. I won’t kill you
tonight.
ORION: Fun fact: Sam shares a birthday with mymom. That’s why I’ll never forget your birthday,
ever.
SAM: And John Lennon.
MARISHA: Happy birthday, Orion’s mom.
LAURA: Yeah. Happy birthday, Sam.
MATT: Happy unbirthday to Sam’s mom, who is also aCritter. You should go follow her on Twitter.
MARISHA: Momlan.
LIAM: She’s not effing around, either.
MATT: Any other announcements? Or shall we divein?
LAURA: I have one. I got nominated for a GoldenJoystick award.
MATT: Really?
LAURA: Yeah, for Fiona in Tales from theBorderlands.
MATT: That’s awesome!
(cheering)
SAM: Hey Travis, you didn’t know this?
LAURA: I didn’t tell him. I think there’s a weekleft of voting, so you can go and help out.
ORION: They can vote for you?
LAURA: Yes, they can vote for me.
SAM: Can they vote many times?
LAURA: I think you have to register your emailaddress, so I don’t know how many times you can
vote, but you have to vote in all the categoriesin order to vote for the one category.
TRAVIS: Congratulations, Laura.
LAURA: Thanks, baby!
MARISHA: As Orion says, release the Critters.
MATT: That’s awesome. Go show your support forFiona, and awesome! Let’s go ahead and bring the
mood back to our realm of imagination and fantasyand be back here in just a minute with the
beginning of this night’s Critical Role.
[dramatic music]
MATT: So to get you guys caught up on whathappened recently, the group, having heard that
the Briarwoods, a couple who had taken power inthe town of Whitestone far to the northeast,
apparently responsible for the destruction ofPercy’s entire family and his escape into the
wilds of Tal'Dorei, were going to be coming toEmon to bridge a political handshake with
Sovereign Uriel and all of Tal'Dorei proper tobuild a bridge across the channel that separates
this continent from Wildemount across the sea.
Upon hearing this, the party was planning togather information, and in doing so Vax got
himself caught by sneaking into their bedroom andwas nearly killed in the process. The group
managed to aid him, pull him out from the jaws ofdeath, and the Briarwoods escaped through arcane
means, leaving a shattered carriage, a mostlybeaten driver of their carriage. Through the
scuffle, a number of guards were hurt or killed,and the party, upon meeting an individual named
Lilith, a tiefling, leading her back to the Keep,they were attacked, or seemingly attacked, by a
series of bounty hunters that were after her.There was some intense violence displayed against
a few of them, and this all got back to theCouncil. The Council called Vox Machina to the
central palace and began a trial to see if theywere responsible for attacking guests of the
Council, ruining what could’ve been a verylucrative union between the two towns and possibly
murdering an old woman. They had their membershiprevoked, and during this sequence, apparently the
charmed Seeker Asum was restored, seemingly tolittle effect.
The group then left, realizing that perhaps themoral ramifications of their actions are having a
bigger impact due to their visibility and theirheroic status in the kingdom at large. When they
returned to the keep, they found tworepresentatives of the northern farmers of Emon
that required aid; their livestock had been stolenover the past few weeks and was putting them in
dire straits when it came to the necessary amountof meat they had to raise. The group, trying to
turn their morality on its head, decided to aid,waited out in the center of the cow pasture at
night, masquerading, through illusionary magic, ascows themselves. The giant roc, a gargantuan bird,
swooped down and grabbed Cow-leth, Keyleth, here.Swept her away. The rest of the party, Tiberius
enabled to fly through arcane means, and thus wehad a squadron of evening cows chasing after the
roc, which then got turned into a cow, to crashinto a mountain. They chased it back to its perch
up in the Cliffside Mountains to the northwest ofEmon.
LIAM: Such an old trope in fantasy.
MATT: Isn’t it, though? “Cow-mouflage.” Andengaged a guardian of this roc, a gnome druid who
had been removed from society for quite some time.After some rather roundabout and at some points
on-the-edge-of-conflict conversation, they managedto convince him to instead take the bird and flee
across the Ozmit Sea, to the northwest, towardsVasselheim, where it would be a much better
landscape for the creature to thrive and grow. After that,the party is making their way back. Right around
the beginning of daybreak, towards the keep. Sothat is where we left off. Percy.
TALIESIN: Yes? Hello.
MATT: Darkness. Cold, lonely darkness. A flickerof light. It swells, bright, white, blinding, then
flashes of your family, screaming. Julius,silenced by a bolt to the throat. Vesper, thrown
from a tower wall. Your younger brothers’ lifelessbodies tossed in a pile. The smell of death
filling your cell. Your father Frederick, a bladejutting from his chest, slick with crimson. Your
mother, Johanna, burned with irons, screaming.Cassandra, running towards you, calling your name
into the night, begging you to help. One, two,three arrows. She falls. Darkness once more.
Darkness and red. Red of blood. Red of burningfire. The sky is fire. The world burns with flame
and iron. The smoke rises from the cinders,coalescing into a face, black as soot with eyes as
burning coals, and a wicked grin. It speaks with araspy, rumbling bass, like a slow-moving
landslide. “You hold your vengeance, Percival. Youmade it. You only need to take it for yourself.
“Make the world right. My gift is yours, and yourgift shall bring justice. Our bargain stands eager
"to close.”
You suddenly come to consciousness, gasping loudlyagainst the air. You feel the warmth of the forge
across the side of the workshop crawling acrossyour face. You are sitting at your workbench,
having fallen asleep amidst a pile of contraptionsin mid-construction. As you look around, you can
see your leather gloves are still on, apron on,blackened soot spread across your face, and a
series of things you were in mid-build on brokenbefore you on your workshop table.
TALISEN: (sighs) How long have I been here?
MATT: There’s nobody in the room, and you have noidea. You’re underground in the workshop. You
haven’t seen the sun probably for a good day and ahalf.
ORION: It’s a new day. I didn’t waste it at all.
MATT: You have no idea quite how long you’ve beendown here, and you’ve been left alone for quite
some time.
TALISEN: I’m going to head upstairs.
MATT: You go and open the metallic door that leadsinto your workshop and come around the corner, and
there’s a chair set in the corner, where Jarettwould be sitting, one of the head guards at your
facility. Jarett, however, is standing, hands upto his throat, going (choking sounds) with no
visible assailant.
TALIESIN: (shouting) Help!
SAM: Are we there? No, we’re not even there.
MATT: I want you to go ahead and roll initiative.
SAM: Oh shit, it’s already started!
LAURA: Trinket was down there.
SAM: Was?
LAURA: Don’t say that!
SAM: Just saying that Trinket died already.
LAURA: Don’t say it.
TALIESIN: Natural 20. 28.
(cheering)
MATT: And that’s how Percy does it.
TRAVIS: What is with that dice and you, man?
LIAM: You are the yin to Wil Wheaton’s yang.
TALIESIN: He was sitting here 20 minutes ago. Irubbed him for luck when he was leaving the
building.
MARISHA: No, we have him. It’s balance.
MATT: All right. So what’s your total?
TALIESIN: 28.
MATT: 28. (laughs) You are definitely– Okay. Youare up first. What do you want to do? As you come
around the corner and you see this visual in frontof you. If you want to go ahead and roll for
Trinket, too.
LAURA: (worried noises) Oh no!
TALIESIN: So I just see him up like this?
LAURA: 19.
MATT: 19? Nice.
TALIESIN: Just for some reference, does it looklike he’s possessed, or does it look like he’s
trying to remove something?
MATT: It looks like he’s trying to removesomething from around his neck, and looking down,
you can see his feet are actually off the ground,kicking. It looks like there’s a little bit of air
wisping around behind him.
TALIESIN: How insane would it be to try and make ashot beneath his legs?
MATT: You can certainly go for it and try.
TALIESIN: I’m going to drop down. Can I make anaimed shot against something I can’t see?
MATT: You can try, it’ll be with disadvantage, butyou can definitely make it.
ORION: He’s in the kitchen?
LAURA: No, he’s downstairs.
SAM: Can I request that the rest of us do thesounds of the ricocheting bullets in case he
misses?
TALIESIN: Okay, I want 5.1; start here and make itall the way down.
LAURA: But you’re not going to miss, so it doesn’tmatter.
TALIESIN: I’m going to take an aimed shot for myfirst shot, and then start firing blindly.
MATT: This will be disadvantage against aninvisible assailant.
TRAVIS: It misses?
TALIESIN: It missed. I’m just making sure I didn’tmisfire. No, I didn’t! Thank god.
MATT: So what’s the total?
TALIESIN: 15.
MATT: Total of 15? Still hits.
TALIESIN: Still hits? 15 hits? Oh, that’s 16points of damage, and he has to make a
constitution saving throw to not be knockedprone.
MATT: Okay. What’s the DC on that?
TALIESIN: Where is my DC? DC of eight plus myproficiency mod, plus my dexterity mod, so 19.
MATT: Sure enough. You see all of a sudden the airgo (gasp) and Jaret falls to his knees (coughs).
TALIESIN: I’m going to take two more shots rightabove his head.
MATT: Go for it.
SAM: Don’t hit Jarett.
MATT: Jarett’s on his knees, prone, essentially.
SAM: He could still hit Jarett! He’s our bestguy.
MATT: You still have disadvantage on these.
TALIESIN: I don’t?
MATT: No, you still have disadvantage on these. Itis still an invisible creature.
TALIESIN: 20.
MATT: 20 hits.
TALIESIN: That’s 13.
MATT: 13 does not hit.
TALIESIN: No, 13 points of damage.
MATT: Oh. Yes.
TALIESIN: And then 20 again.
MATT: 20 hits.
TALIESIN: Nine points of damage.
MATT: Nine points of damage. (gunshots) Thegunshots are echoing through the hallway. Whatever
this weird entity is, you can see some of thenearby cloth and dust swirl up from its movement,
you hear this (gasping sound), this angry suckingsound in the air around you. Do you want to move,
or are you staying where you are?
TALIESIN: I’m going to stay where I am. And I’mgoing to keep yelling. Help! I don’t think I have
an earring.
MATT: You see some sort of shimmer of wind comearound the corner towards you. This one turns
around and (whooshing sound) over to the bars, andyou can see in the distance, it’s moving over
towards where your captive currently is.
ORION: How far away are we from the keep?
MATT: I’m getting to that. At the end of thiscombat round, all of you guys are right toward the
outskirts of the keep, and you hear the muffledringing of gunshots from the inside of the keep.
ORION: We do hear that.
MATT: You do hear this as you’re just getting tothe outer gates.
ORION: As soon as I hear that, I cast Fly onmyself and (whoosh).
LAURA: Are you wearing an earring, Percy?
MATT: No, he is not. The entity swooshes down thestairs and comes at you. That’s going to be a 22.
TALIESIN: That hits.
MATT: And a 12.
TALIESIN: That does not.
MATT: It swings towards you, and a giant slam ofextremely condensed air with a raking claw impact
hits you in the torso, doing 15 points ofbludgeoning damage. The other one swings out, same
direction. This time you actually pull off to theside and knock it out of the way with your
Pepperbox. The one back there is going to attemptto grapple. Succeeds. That’s its action, and you
can see the driver that you had put into prison iscurrently being (choking) making strangling sounds
in the distance. That ends it. Trinket’s up.
LAURA: Trinket. He can see Percy getting attackedand instinct takes over, and he runs forward and
he claws him.
MATT: All right, go ahead and roll for theattack.
LAURA: That does not hit. That’s a natural 20.
MATT: That will hit! (laughs) It begins.
LAURA: Oh, that’s the wrong thing. That’s a 2d4.
MATT: So roll 2d4 and then multiply those by two.
LAURA: 17 damage.
MATT: 17 damage, nice. Trinket runs up, coming outof his somewhat sleepy stupor, goes for a bite
attack and grabs nothing with it, and turns aroundand rakes a claw backwards, manages to get the
back of whatever this entity is, and you hear itscream (gasping scream). You do, at least.
TALIESIN: I have a technical dispute, reallyquickly. Could the wraith have gotten that far,
since I knocked him prone?
MATT: Yes, it could’ve, because it uses half itsmovement speed to get up.
TALIESIN: Oh, thank you. Never mind.
MATT: Its movement is actually 50.
TALIESIN: Ignore me! 50?!
MATT: Not that you know that. But it moved far forwhat you think it should’ve been able to.
ORION: By the way, for the record, Matthew, I haveno idea what we’re fighting.
TRAVIS: Nobody does.
ORION: I’m just saying, I haven’t meta-gamedhere.
MATT: Congrats. (laughs) I’m proud of you.
LIAM: Fresh start.
MATT: Jarett then gets up, sees this happening,moves over, and pulls out the key to try and open
the prison door. Spends the turn doing so. Managesto get the door open. That’s the end of Jarett’s
turn. Okay, now, the rest of you guys rollinitiative.
TRAVIS: Okay. Come on, you giant ball-bearing.Damn.
LAURA: Does that count, if I hit it into my boxand it slammed into the side? Does that count, or
should I let it roll naturally?
MATT: Let it roll naturally. That would normallycount, but it’s fine. Wherever it lands, you take
it, going forward. Okay, so 25 to 20?
SAM: Oh, initiative?
TALIESIN: Keep up, people! Come on.
MATT: You hear the gunshot. You’re entering thisintensity.
SAM: I don’t think it’s anything. I think it’sjust him tinkering.
MATT: So Scanlan stays behind. 25 to 20? 20 to 15?What are your scores?
LIAM and ORION: 15.
LAURA: 17.
MARISHA and TRAVIS: 16.
TALIESIN: Thank you all, by the way, for leaving abear on suicide watch. That was really cool.
LAURA: You’re welcome.
MATT: Vex, what’d you get again?
TRAVIS: 17.
LAURA: I got 17.
SAM: He got 15.
MATT: 15, Tiberius. And what’d you get, Vax?
LIAM: 15.
MATT: 15, all right. Three 15s.
SAM: I got three.
MATT: You got three? Okay. All right, so you guysall spend your turn, if you choose to, to rush
through the gates. As soon as the gunshots go off,you can see Shayne’s up on top, and she sees it,
gives a quick turn, and you can see the gatesbegin to open, and you hear this angry grunting as
your half-orc guard is now pulling the doors openas fast as he can. You guys find a moment and slip
through, running towards the front of the keep.You guys manage to get, with full dash and full
turn, including your flight– because you fly alittle bit faster, but you have a little more of
an arc to get over– you guys get to the front ofthe keep this turn. So you won’t get into this
until next round. That brings it back to the top.Percy, you’re up.
TALIESIN: (sighs) There’s no way I can fire at theone who’s far away from me right now, is there?
MATT: It’s hard to see.
LAURA: But Jarett’s got him.
TALIESIN: I can ignore cover, though.
MATT: You can ignore cover, but you have thisentity in front of you. I mean, you’ll be at
disadvantage regardless, because you’re shootingat something invisible, and you have something
that’s in melee of you and you have a rangedweapon.
TALIESIN: I’m going to see if there’s a chargeleft in my glove and try and take the– there
wouldn’t be a charge left in my glove, wouldthere?
MATT: You glance down at the glove, and you seethe gemstone in the center of the palm is
currently dark and lifeless.
TALIESIN: Okay. (sighs) Hold on, sorry.
TRAVIS: Fan the hammer, motherfuck.
TALIESIN: It gets weird when it’s up close. Okay.Let’s see what we do. All right. There’s no way I
can step back right now, is there?
MATT: Currently? I mean, you can if you want to.It’ll get a free strike on you.
TALIESIN: Okay, I’m going to try and take shots,then.
MATT: The one in front of you? Okay. Go for it.With disadvantage on each shot.
TALIESIN: Firing with disadvantage? Screw it, I’mgoing to take my first one with sharpshooter to
see if I can do any damage that way. Nope.Actually, that’s a misfire.
MATT: So Pepperbox (explosion sound). You go toshoot, and–
MARISHA: (ricochet sound)
MATT: The barrel gets clogged, and the front of itactually catches fire for a second, and you have
to shake it out right now. It’s completely offset,and it’s going to take a moment to even get it to
where you can fire again.
TALIESIN: Okay. Do I have six seconds?
MATT: You do. And you’ve used one attack. You havetwo more attacks.
TALIESIN: Well, it misfired.
MATT: Yeah, that weapon you have to use an actionto repair.
TALIESIN: Okay. I’m going to do something a littleweird. I’m going to pull out Bad News. I know I
can’t shoot this close with it, or god only knowswhat would happen. I’m going to try and swing it
like a pugil stick, and I’m going to try and hithim with the butt of Bad News.
MATT: Okay. Go ahead and make a melee attack. Thisis strength-based. Add your proficiency modifier
and your strength modifier.
TALIESIN: 15?
MATT: You still have disadvantage on it becauseyou can’t see it. And you’re not proficient.
TALIESIN: 15?
MATT: 15 just barely hits.
(cheering)
MATT: All right, so go ahead and roll– with thesize of Bad News, I’d say 1d6, plus your strength
modifier.
TALIESIN: Four.
MATT: Okay, so four points of damage, as youbludgeon it. You took a turn to get it out. Your
third attack is then slamming it in the side.Whatever entity you smacked gets pushed against
the wall. Go ahead and roll a d20 for me.
TALIESIN: 14.
MATT: Okay. So the impact does not appear todamage Bad News in this instance. It is a fragile
construct, and even doing melee attacks with itdoes subject it to a misfire possibility.
TALIESIN: I hit it with the stock, I was careful.
MATT: I know. Okay, so that concludes your turn?
TALIESIN: Yeah, I’m kind of– yeah.
MATT: Okay, you stay there. All right. The onethat’s in front of you now is going to go ahead
and go over this way. Trinket– well, no, it’sstill in melee, so it doesn’t actually get an
attack. It does get two strikes on you. That is a17.
TALIESIN: Nope.
MATT: And that is 18.
TALIESIN: Armor class is 18.
MATT: So it does just hit you.
TALIESIN: Can I do that crazy thing?
MATT: No, I’ve eliminated that.
TALIESIN: Oh, you’ve removed that. Okay, nevermind. I don’t have the new update, sorry. I don’t
have a dodge anymore, right?
MATT: No, the dodge is not there. It rarely cameinto play. Okay, so that puts you at another 15
points of bludgeoning damage as it just smacks youright across the head. Your eyes go dizzy for a
second, and you take a minute to refocus yourvision, and you can now see in the air, the
shimmering expression that looks like a humanoidface stretched and ghastly going (gasps) in front
of you, but it’s still barely even visible, andonly because of the proximity to you are you able
to actually make out any sort of shape or shimmerin the air in front of you. The other one is
attempting to choke out the prisoner. However, theprisoner resists through athletics, so he’s
currently holding back at bay the strength of theentity. That ends its turn. Trinket’s up.
LAURA: Trinket’s up! He’s going to try to jump andland on top of the ghostly thing and bite its
face. I don’t know how to do that.
MATT: (laughs) To do a real leap, Trinket wouldhave to back up and then run towards it. If
Trinket wants to do that. Okay. So Trinket backsup. As it does, it gets one free swipe at Trinket.
That is 18 to hit.
LAURA: I’m having an issue here. Because I have 18in parentheses, and then I wrote a 20 and I
circled it and I don’t know why.
MATT: I don’t know why, either.
LAURA: 18 is probably–
MATT: Yeah, we’ll say 18. So that hits. Trinkettakes 15 points of bludgeoning damage as the
entity swings out and backhands Trinket. HoweverTrinket now leaps– go ahead and make an athletics
check.
LIAM: He has better armor class than I do.
SAM: Does he have armor?
LAURA: He does! He’s got his bulette armor, man.He’s a cannonball. What am I doing? A strength?
MATT: Athletics, yeah.
LAURA: 17?
MATT: 17. Yeah. Trinket leaps forward, slammingthis entity onto the ground and knocking it prone,
and you get to go ahead and make a bite attack.
LAURA: Yes! That didn’t count because it slippedout of my hand. That was even worse than the other
one. So 11. It slipped out of my hand. Itshouldn’t count if it goes like that! 20.
MATT: So Trinket manages to knock it prone,however, because it gets pushed out of the way,
Trinket has a hard time, Trinket just makes a bigslash and a bite out in the air where it once was
and misses entirely.
LAURA: But he’s gone prone.
MATT: But he is knocked prone. Jarett’s now goingto attempt to grapple the entity.
SAM: Wait, Trinket missed? (ricochet sound)
(laughter)
MATT: Jarett manages to reach out and grab ontowhatever this creature is, hold onto it, just
grappling, and is going to attempt to try and pullit back. For this, I will do a contested roll on
that. It rolled a one. Jarett pulled it back thatfar, managing to let go of its quarry, and is
currently holding onto some sort of angry,whirling entity at that point. That ends Jarett’s
turn. The rest of you guys all manage to make yourway up into the armory up top. First is Vex. You
rush in there, and what do you want to do?
LAURA: I want to run down and shoot something.
MATT: Okay. You can get just about there.
LAURA: Can I see anything? Can I ricochet an arrowto hit?
MATT: (laughs) I would say this guy hasthree-quarters cover, so it would be disadvantage
on the attack. You already have disadvantagebecause it’s invisible, so it’s hard to hit,
regardless.
LAURA: That was the same one each time. 28.
MATT: 28? 28 hits.
LAURA: Oh, I didn’t fucking Hunter’s Mark him.God damn it. Fuck. 15.
MATT: 15 points of damage. The first arrow sinksinto whatever’s there, and you can see it jutting
out of no physical space.
LAURA: Now I’m going to Hunter’s Mark him and I’mgoing to hit him again. Can I do that?
MATT: Technically, it’s part of your attack. Youcan do two attacks first, then you can bonus
action, so you’re like (arrow sounds) and then youHunter’s Mark it after.
LAURA: All right. That one doesn’t hit. Doesn’tmatter. Doesn’t hit anyway. I missed it.
SAM: (ricochet sound)
MATT: Second shot shatters against the back wallof the stone. You can Hunter’s Mark for your
bonus.
LAURA: I Hunter’s Mark him.
MATT: All right. Entity is now Hunter’s Marked.That ends Vex’s turn. Keyleth, you now also make
your way into the doorway.
MARISHA: How far can I get?
MATT: About there. Nothing’s in visual sight rightnow, unfortunately.
MARISHA: Nothing’s in visual sight?
MATT: No, half of that was getting to that point.You could dash and try and make your way in, but
you wouldn’t be able to do anything.
MARISHA: Can I dash and then make a bonus action?
MATT: You could, yeah. Your call. What do you got?Grog, you’re on deck.
MARISHA: I’ll just wait.
MATT: Okay. Keyleth waits there. Grog, you’re up.
MARISHA: Let me just scootch over so I can bebehind Vex.
MATT: You have a little better movement, so youactually manage to get two more squares in. What’s
your speed again?
TRAVIS: 50.
MATT: 50? Yeah, you manage to get up to there, andnow your turn begins.
TRAVIS: I go into a rage, and I come in, and Iturn to the right, and I run up as close as I can
to Jared–
LAURA: Jarett.
TRAVIS: Yeah, Jarett. And wispy fuck.
MATT: All right, so you charge in. Angry, you seeJarett’s currently reaching back and trying to go
for his crossbow now that this entity’s in hisface. He’s grappled it with one arm and he’s
reaching back to try and grab it. You come rushingin. Go for it.
TRAVIS: I take out a holy oil vial out of the Bagof Holding, I crush it in my hand, and I take a
swing at whatever he’s holding.
MATT: All right. Cool. So as you pull out (glassbreaking) the pain from the glass even further
angers you in your rage. You can see a mix of holywater and blood trickle down from your fist as you
clench it. Go ahead and swing for a punch withdisadvantage.
TRAVIS: That’s a one.
MATT: So that first strike just whiffs over.Through your anger, you’re unable to focus on
where this entity may be.
TRAVIS: Not off to a good start with this. Numbertwo. Disadvantage. Fuck.
MATT: What’s the total?
TRAVIS: 15.
MATT: 15 just barely hits. Go ahead and roll.
TRAVIS: One of these guys?
MATT: Go ahead and roll that. Half that damage,yes.
TRAVIS: One. Plus rage, which is–
MATT: Plus strength.
TRAVIS: Oh, right. Eight.
MATT: So eight points of damage to it. All righty.(whack) It hits, and you hear this (yelps) sound
as it takes the impact, and you can see thisstrange, angry face appear suddenly out of the
shimmering air that just then disperses again, andyou don’t quite know where it is. You can make a
third strike now, if you want.
LAURA: Did it do any holy damage?
MATT: Did not appear to have any additional effecton the entity.
TRAVIS: Well, hell, it was worth a shot. Oh, atdisadvantage. 19.
MATT: 19 still hits. Go ahead and roll the nextattack.
TRAVIS: Eight again.
MATT: Eight damage again. (whack) You backhand itwith your third strike, this time finding the edge
of its face again, and you see the chair rightnext to it tumble as it barely manages to catch
itself and keep itself aloft. Nevertheless, thisstrange invisible entity is still there holding
its ground.
TRAVIS: Would you say the blood from my hand issplattering Jarett behind him?
MATT: You look over at Jarett. Jarett’s currentlytrying to grab onto the creature and keep it
grappled. So yeah, it’s spattering on him.
TRAVIS: I’m a painter.
MATT: (laughs) All right, that ends Grog’s turn.Vax and Tiberius. You guys both get up to the edge
of this room here.
ORION: Your cape is looking really nice, Vax.
LIAM: I’m clicking my Boots of Haste, and I getdouble movement, so I get to go 60 feet. I’m going
to slink up right beside Trinket and stab the shitout of this invisible thing.
ORION: Stab him! Hey, what do they look like?
LIAM: So because Trinket’s right there, this is asneak attack. That hits. That is 29 to hit.
MATT: That’ll hit.
(laughter)
MATT: It is prone. It is invisible but it isprone, so that evens out to no advantage or
disadvantage.
LIAM: (counting) 25 for the first hit.
MATT: 25, all right.
LAURA: Don’t you double it? You had to double 19.
LIAM: No, he didn’t– that’s a critical hit.
LAURA: Oh, right.
LIAM: One shy. So now out comes the Dagger ofLife-Stealing. It misses– well, does 15 hit?
MATT: 15 just barely hits.
LIAM: Just barely hits? Oh, that’s better than Ithought. That is three plus six is nine for
damage, and then the Keen Dagger comes back, andthat gets a 27, so that also hits for nine of
damage.
MATT: All right. So as you rush over, you stabdownward. You hear this (gurgle) sound as your
blade comes down into whatever entity’s there, andyour hand moves around as it struggles against the
blade. You pull it out, grab your other dagger,and then throw it in the air, catch it, slam it
down again for that third strike, and then pullback and stab a third time.
LIAM: And Trinket is very comforting, pressedagainst my shoulder as I do all that. He’s
supple.
MATT: Supple bear. #SuppleBear. All right, thatends your turn. Tiberius, what are you doing?
ORION: How far can I get?
MATT: That’s about as far as you can get with yourmovement. You currently do not have visual on
either of them. You’re flying. What’s your flyspeed?
ORION: 60 feet.
MATT: You said that last time, and we found out itwas 40, I believe wasn’t it?
ORION: Was it 40? I thought it was 60. It wasdouble the– shit, hold on. I have a card–
MATT: You have a card and yet I find it faster.
ORION: 60 feet.
MATT: It is 60. You’re right. Yeah, so you can godouble. You are now just coasting down the
stairway.
ORION: I’m going to attempt something I haven’tactually tried before.
MATT: All right, go for it.
ORION: Because there’s one to my right and one tomy left, right?
MATT: Correct. There’s one over here that has Grogand Jarett flanking. The other one has Percy, Vax,
and Trinket all around it. That one’s actuallyprone on the ground. It’s hard to see normally;
it’s very hard to see now that it’s swarmed.
ORION: Do I have visual of both wraiths?
MATT: You have visual of both entities, whateverthey are.
ORION: Okay, sorry. I call them wraiths. Okay, so.I’m going to cast at–
SAM: Have we rested, by the way?
MATT: No, you have not rested yet.
SAM: So we’re down a bunch of spells.
MATT: Yeah, you’re still where you were when youcame back.
MARISHA: Well, to be fair, we talked. We didn’thave a battle.
SAM: Some of us used spells. Fly and stuff.
ORION: I’m going to try to do this about now. I’mgoing to look to my right and my left and at
6th-level I’m going to try to do Glacial Blast andsplit the damage and try to hit both of them.
Because it does 8d8 damage–
MATT: Are you doing this single-stream?
ORION: I’m trying to split my arc. So instead ofdoing this, I’m trying to– (ice sounds)
MATT: Okay. How much damage is it?
ORION: At sixth level, it’s 8d8 damage.
MATT: Okay, and what’s the saving throw?
ORION: 17.
MATT: 17, okay. Jarett and Vax have to make savingthrows, as well. Go ahead and make that. Jarett
rolled an 18 and has high dex, so yeah, Jarettmakes his save. That’s half-damage for Jarett.
LIAM: 28 for me.
MATT: All right. So you take no damage, becauseyou’re a rogue. Go ahead and roll damage. That’s
18 for one. This one fails, this one succeeds.
ORION: Cool. Right hand does– oh, sweet.
MARISHA: No. That’s a d10. These are d8s.
ORION: Sorry, my bad.
MATT: It’s actually not prone. They’re immune tobeing prone.
ORION: Right hand– that’s 14 to my right, andthen 18 to my left.
MATT: So how much is that?
ORION: So 14 to my right, 18 to my left.
MATT: Okay. Got you.
ORION: The one that doesn’t save gets (freezingsound).
MATT: It would if it wasn’t immune. However, asyou arc down, the ice blast comes through. You can
see Vax manages to pull down to the ground and getout of the way in time. Jarett ducks out of the
way and it blasts over, hitting both theseentities. Ice crackles around both their forms,
but then the forms shift out of it. That ends yourturn right there. Comes back to Scanlan.
SAM: Oh, where am I?
MATT: You are right there. Just entered the roombehind everybody else.
SAM: Where does Percy do his tinkering?
MATT: Over here.
SAM: Because I can’t see what’s going on downthere.
MATT: No, you just see, currently, these threedown the hallway. You can just see Tiberius blast
a bunch of ice, arc in the air.
SAM: Okay, so I know there’s shit going on downthere, but I can’t really see what. So I would
probably just Dimension Door into the tinkeringroom, because that’s where I assume Percy is. And
then I see what’s going on, and nobody’s there. DoI have line-of-sight on anybody?
MATT: Currently, you see Percy through thisdoorway right there.
SAM: Okay. Well, then. I can move also, can’t I?
MATT: Yeah, Dimension Door is your action.
SAM: I’ll move towards him. Oh, then I see a crazything in front of me. Shit. So I probably take a
couple steps back.
(laughter)
SAM: And then I’ll inspire Percy. (sings) All thesingle Percys, all the single Percys.
ALL: (sing) All the single Percys, all the singlePercys, put your guns up-up-up.
MATT: d10 inspiration dice to you, Percy.
TALIESIN: What is that, a d10?
MATT: d10, yeah. That brings it to the top of thecombat round. Percy, you’re up first.
TALIESIN: I’m going to use my action to try andclear my gun.
MATT: Okay. So go ahead and make your check.
TALIESIN: What is that again? Did it changesince last time?
MATT: That one shouldn’t have changed, no.
TALIESIN: Okay, so it’s 11. I’m adding my bonusdie. God damn it. Nine.
MATT: Nine. As you pull over your Pepperbox,you’re like, (ping). The actual barrel comes off
and hits the ground and rolls off toward the backof the room.
TALIESIN: I’m tossing it into my room. I’m usingan action surge. Actually, can I even do that?
Yes, I’m going to use my action surge, and I’mgoing to walk over to the wraith on the ground,
put the barrel of Bad News up to it, and pull thetrigger.
MATT: The wraith is no longer on the ground, bythe way.
TALIESIN: Is he not?
MATT: The entity actually, upon looking, is immuneto being prone. So we won’t retcon anything, but
as you go to pull the barrel up, you can see nowthe face is standing up before you.
TALIESIN: I’m just going to try and shove it untilI hit something and then pull.
MATT: Okay, so go ahead and roll with disadvantagewith Bad News.
TALIESIN: 22.
MATT: 22 hits. Go ahead and roll damage.
TRAVIS: Oh shit. We’re all going to go deaf.
LAURA: Oh man, that’s going to be loud as fuck.
TALIESIN: 19.
MATT: 19. (gunshot) Bad News goes off. The soundis deafening in the room, the echoing of the
explosion through the stone walls. I’m going to goahead and have you roll a constitution saving
throw.
LIAM: Vax or Liam?
MATT: Vax. Both, maybe.
LIAM: Roll a what now?
MATT: Constitution saving throw.
TALIESIN: If you fail, I get to scream in yourear.
LIAM: That is a 15.
MATT: 15, okay. You don’t go deaf, but your earsare ringing very hard. The entity screams and then
disperses.
TALIESIN: I get a grit point back.
MARISHA: You do! Dope.
MATT: Okay, so two more attacks. Or you have touse one to reload.
TALIESIN: I have to use one to reload. I have onemore attack, but I’ve already– I didn’t move. I’m
going to try and roll around the corner and I’mgoing to take another shot. 27.
MATT: 27 hits. Go ahead and roll damage.
TALIESIN: 19 points of damage.
MATT: Okay. This time (gunshot), the shot goes offright by your head, Tiberius. You’re flying in the
air and you look down and see him pull Bad Newsout right beneath you, and before you have a
chance to react, (gunshot) the flash of the muzzlejust bursting forward, a big plume of black powder
smoke fills the air around you.
ORION: So I see a big flash? And what do I roll?
MATT: Make a constitution saving throw.
TALIESIN: Sorry.
ORION: Seven.
MATT: Okay, you are considered deaf until thestart of his next turn.
ORION: Okay, so as soon as I see the flash, I go,(yelps). That’s all I do.
(laughter)
MATT: So that ends your turn, Percy? All right.Next, this entity that’s Hunter’s Marked is going to
rush forward, straight out of the grapple fromJarett. Shifts right out of his hands. Is going to
run forward and take the double attack against theprisoner. That’s a 19 plus six. 25 hits. And 15
hits, as well. Takes 30 points of damage. Iscurrently unconscious. Punches him twice, and you
see the poor driver is knocked up into theceiling, falls down onto the bed, and is
half-laying off. You see blood trickling down thefront of his face, his eyes open, and slowly
close.
MARISHA: We need him alive.
MATT: That brings us to Trinket’s turn.
MARISHA: Come on, Trinket!
LAURA: Trinket roars, rushes forward.
MATT: Actually, we’re now going to roll Trinketinto your turn.
LAURA: Oh, all right. Then he stays there.
MATT: Okay. Trinket stays there until it’s yourturn. Jarett is going to rush forward and come to
this corner. The crossbow is not much aid at thispoint. Reaches over and pulls out a short sword
and lunges forward with the short sword. Yeah,with disadvantage, nine. Oh god. Rolls a 20 and a
three. Great. Sorry, Jarett. Swinging through,trying to pierce through the bars at this entity,
and can’t seem to get any sort of attack to hit.
LAURA: So he’s actually locked in the thingstill?
MATT: Jarett got the door open, he came through totry and grab the creature, and as he tried to pull
it back, the creature sifted through his handsagain to go ahead and attack the prisoner. That
ends Jarett’s turn. Vex, it is now your turn.
LAURA: Okay. Can I move forward so I can see?
MATT: Yeah, you can see about there; it would giveyou visual on the entity.
LAURA: All right. Yeah, I’ll do that. I’ll shoothim. He’s Hunter’s Marked already, okay, good.
MATT: He is, yes. So both attacks atdisadvantage.
LAURA: 15.
MATT: 15 hits. Just hits.
LAURA: 16.
MATT: 16 also hits– oh, 16 damage. All right.Including the additional Hunter’s Mark?
LAURA: Yes. And then 14 doesn’t hit.
MATT: 14 does not hit. The arrow disappears in theback of the cell, scattering and shattering
against part of the stone wall.
LAURA: And Trinket, can he get up to him? Oh, butI took all the attacks.
MATT: Correct. So Trinket rushes up, but doesn’tattack.
LAURA: Trinket stays in the corner, then, becausehe can’t do shit.
MATT: Okay. Trinket just cheers you on. (beargrowl) Cool, that ends your turn. Keyleth.
MARISHA: Okay, I’m going to– seeing the directionthat everyone’s pointing, going to walk up and
reach around Vex and I’m going to cast Faerie Fireright– oh god, wrong direction. Right in the
fucking eye.
(laughter)
LIAM: You turn on yourself.
MARISHA: Crit fail. It’s a 20-foot cube, so I wantto cast it right in the cell.
MATT: Okay. So as you cast that, it’s going toattempt to make its save. What’s the DC on that?
MARISHA: Against my spell’s DC? 18.
MATT: And it fails with a 14. All right, so youguys watch as she reaches her hand out. The entire
cell, all of a sudden there’s a burst of purplishlight, and these little dust-stars of purple
glowing begin to drift down from the ceiling. Asthey do, they cling to whatever this form is, and
you can now see, very clearly, this invisibleentity that is surrounded in these purple
sparkles. It looks humanoid from the torso up, butits legs are shimmering and shifting around. You
now have a very clear look on it. You’ve nullifiedits invisibility.
MARISHA: You have advantage now.
MATT: Gives advantage, as well? Yeah. You guys nowall have advantage on this entity.
MARISHA: And I’m going to take my bonus action todo Healing Word on the– it’s not Jarett that’s
unconscious, it’s the cab driver. On the cabdriver.
MATT: Okay, so go ahead and roll for the HealingWord.
SAM: Desmond. Jarett and Desmond.
MATT: How much does he heal?
MARISHA: Six plus my spell modifier. So ten? Isthat right, is that how it works? Plus my spell
level? Is that what it is with Healing Word?
MATT: I think it’s plus five, whatever it is.Healing Word, yeah.
MARISHA: 1d4 plus my spellcasting abilitymodifier.
MATT: So it’s plus six.
MARISHA: Six, so 12.
MATT: 12. Got you. Okay. Desmond’s eyes clarifyfor a second and he begins to breathe heavily.
Still looking very wounded, but conscious andprone across the bed, as the entity that’s
Hunter’s Marked is still looming over it, bringingits fists up for another round to try and finish
its job. That ends your turn, Keyleth. Grog,you’re up.
TRAVIS: There you are. Hold still, Casper! And Irun up and I swing.
(laughter)
MATT: As you rush up angrily, make your strike.
TRAVIS: That’s 28.
MATT: That hits.
TRAVIS: That’s a 27.
MATT: Hits.
LIAM: Those would hit Tiamat.
TRAVIS: 17.
MATT: 17 also hits, so roll damage three times. Asyou rush up, the bars open, bringing the axe down
on top of this now sparkling purple entity.
TRAVIS: Ten, so 14 on the first one, plus firedamage.
MATT: Cool.
TRAVIS: 17 plus– 21. No. Is that right? Did I dothat right?
LAURA: Yeah?
TRAVIS: Yeah. So 21. The second one.
MATT: Okay.
TRAVIS: And 17, 21 again!
MATT: Nice! All righty, so you run up (hammerstrikes) hammer down a third time, you can see its
body being beaten around by the attack. And yousee the whispering of its wind around its lower
body is starting to slow, and it’s looking likeit’s getting more sluggish, but it’s definitely
still intent on its job. That ends your turn,Grog. Vax, you’re up.
LIAM: All right, in a split second I’m watchingGrog take the thing apart. I size up everybody in
front of me in the distance and I think I canAssassin Creed my way through the crowd because I
can go 60 feet normally, so 30 feet if it’scrowded, and I’m going to use Grog’s proximity to
take this thing apart.
MATT: Okay. I will say you would normally getadvantage. Because you’re attacking it through the
bars, melee, it disables it, so it’s just astraight attack. You’re having to fight it through
prison bars with daggers, which is difficult.
LIAM: All right. So the first one is terrible,it’s a 14.
MATT: 14 misses, unfortunately.
LIAM: And that’s where the sneak attack damage is,right?
MATT: Well, it’s the first attack you get on itwould get it. So even if you miss the first
attack, you can still get it with the second andthird.
LIAM: All right. Third one is a 21.
MATT: That does hit.
LIAM: So there’s the delivery system, and that isthe Keen Dagger. 26, 27, 32. 38.
MATT: All right. With that, the first blade comesthrough and you try and get it through the bars
and it gets nothing. You pull back, take the otherdagger and swing through it. Falls too wide and
you have to bring your arm back. This time, youcan see after Grog has slammed it with the hammer,
it falls. The sparkles come towards the edge.Its slamming its back into the bars. It’s right
there in front of you, and you use that instanceto go ahead and reach through the bars, grab it by
the throat, and stab it repeatedly, at which pointits form disperses into wind around you.
LIAM: And I slap Grog on the back and say, yousoftened the shit of him. That’s terrible
English. You softened him up for me! Asshole.
TRAVIS: You’ve been drinking?
LAURA: (giggling) You softened the shit of him.
LIAM: You shitted him up for me, Grog. Good job.
MATT: You guys look over. You see Desmond is stillon the bed, eyes wide (panting).
ORION: I rush over to Desmond, and out of my pouchI bring out a sandwich that I had made earlier. I
hand it to him and I go, Desmond, decker. Here,have it. It’s a decker sandwich. You should have
it.
MATT: Gets up on the bed and takes it. “Whathappened?”
LAURA: I run up and I cast Cure Wounds on him.
MATT: Okay. So go ahead and roll for the CureWounds heal on that.
TRAVIS: You casting that all over the place nowaren’t you, fancy-pants?
SAM: From the tinkering room I yell out, is itsafe? Can I come out now?
ORION: It’s safe.
LIAM: There’s four more of them. Stay back.
SAM: Oh! Okay. I’ll stay.
TRAVIS: I remember I have the holy oil in my hand,mixed with the blood, and I start blessing him. With
bloody fist.
LAURA: 17.
MATT: All right, awesome.
LAURA: Do I add my wisdom to that?
MATT: You add your wisdom modifier.
LAURA: Then it’s 20.
MATT: That’s good to know. All right, cool. Allright.
ORION: How’s that sandwich?
MATT: Desmond isn’t eating it. He’s just holdingit and still taking in. “What happened? What was
"that?! Look, what was that thing?”
TRAVIS: Yeah, what was that thing?
LAURA: What was that thing?
ORION: I would say opaque buttholes.
MARISHA: Can we do a check?
MATT: Make an arcana check.
TALIESIN: I’ll make an arcana check, too.
SAM: How did you get two?
ORION: I rolled one by accident.
MATT: If you rolled by accident, you have to rollintentionally to take the score. Because if you
were to accidentally roll really bad, you’d belike, “That doesn’t count! I didn’t actually
"roll.”
ORION: A hard 12.
MATT: Total of 12?
LIAM: I rolled a 22 arcana check.
MARISHA: 22?
LAURA: Oh, he’s faced these things before. That’swhat it is.
MATT: That’s the thing, you’ve seen these. Theseentities are used by certain high-level arcane
practitioners. They can be summoned as certainspells. They’re air elemental-based in nature, but
they’re generally known as invisible stalkers.They’re used as assassins that have a very sole,
single-minded purpose.
LIAM: All I know is they feel like theBriarwoods.
MATT: You get that, based on recent events,there’s probably a good probability that was the
source of this.
LAURA: Do you know from your previous experienceif there’s any way to protect against them? Other
than setting up walls?
LIAM: Well, all I know is how to stick my face inthe beehives, apparently.
LAURA: Does anybody know how to protect againstair stalkers?
ORION: Give me a day, I will find out.
MATT: Jarett, at which point has put his handagainst the wall, and goes, “Ugh. I would
"recommend that next time you decide to put me onwatch, let me know if we’re up against things that
"are invisible. I apologize. I was not prepared forsuch a foe to show up.”
LAURA: We were unprepared to warn you. I’m sorry.
MATT: “It’s all right. If I might ask, whatexactly are we up against here?”
TRAVIS: Fuck if we know.
ORION: Seems like we’re up against either vampiresor liches. Prepare the troops. There will be some
changes made to the keep over the next couple ofdays. We shall shore up security, as well.
MATT: “I would like also to consider possibly somechanges made to our income, as this suddenly
"turned from a general guarding job to going upagainst the denizens of the afterlife. It’s
"already been a very dangerous proposition.”
ORION: Of course. We shall discuss that in the–is it the morning?
MATT: “Very well. I’m going to go ahead and makesure the rest of my team is alive.”
LIAM: Jarett! Are you up for it?
MATT: “If the pay is good, yes.”
LAURA: Jarett’s up for anything.
MATT: “You understand. Ugh, okay. Talk to you inthe morning. I think a bit of rest is necessary.”
And he makes his way up the stairs to the rest ofthe keep. Desmond at this point is still in shock,
and he starts absentmindedly eating the sandwichthat you handed him.
ORION: It’s good, right? I had one yesterday.
LAURA: Well. Maybe it’s best not to leave him downhere.
ORION: No. You should stay in the guest room.Come.
MATT: “Is it safer there?”
ORION: Yes, it is.
MATT: “I told you they’d come for me. I told youthey would.”
LAURA: But you know what! You’re still alive.
SAM: You’ve had the worst couple of days.
MATT: Wipes the blood from the side of his faceand looks at it.
ORION: Let’s take you upstairs and get you allfitted… Who do we talk to that works for us that
does the actual construction to the keep?
LAURA: That is one of Uriel’s staff. In whichcase, we cannot talk to them right now.
MATT: Yeah, the individual responsible for theconstruction of the keep was Lord Riskel Daxio,
which is an elven gentleman on the Council thathelped oversee the whole construction and helped
you guys design it, so.
LIAM: Is he still on the bed?
MATT: Still on the bed.
LIAM: I sit down next to him and say, listen. Youare a victim of circumstance, we understand that.
We are, to a certain degree, as well. We’re notleaving your side, and really there’s no other
choice. I mean, you’re fucked like we are. So wewill do our best to protect you, I promise you.
MATT: “Okay.”
TRAVIS: I volunteer to sleep down in the room.
LIAM: Oh wow.
ORION: He shall stay in my quarters.
TRAVIS: It’s better down here, isn’t it?
LIAM: In a locked cell with Grog? I think ispretty safe.
LAURA: I think it’s probably better to bring himupstairs, because if it’s locked, we can’t get to
him very quickly.
ORION: Don’t worry, we can enchant his room, aswell, to have an alert thing go on if anything
happens in the room at night, and it would besafer. I shall be sleeping in my laboratory for
the next several nights, as well.
MARISHA: I mean, I can still go ahead and do theplanar bindings to an elemental that maybe I
should’ve done beforehand. It lasts 30 days.
LIAM: I like all of these things, but I think Grogas a bunkmate is a good idea.
MATT: At this point, Desmond leans into you andquietly says in your ear, Vax, he goes, “Is where
"I’m sleeping going to be away from him?” He looksover towards Percy.
TRAVIS: Yeah, totally away from him.
MARISHA: It’s fine. You’ll have him in between youand him.
MATT: You don’t hear that; it’s whispered to Vax.
LIAM: There is a lot of history for Percy wrappedup in this and he has done you wrong, no question.
But the answer is yes. You will be separate fromPercival. You will be protected. And you have my
word.
MATT: Make a persuasion roll.
LAURA: And you have my axe!
LIAM: I’m going to use some Luck. Using my Luck.Natural 20, with Luck.
MATT: Takes another bite of the sandwich and packsit away in a little piece of cloth he had in a
pocket, puts it in there. And you know, you canstill see as he brings his hand up, you can see the
blood streak against where the fingers were on thelower half of that hand. Strokes the edge of his
chin and goes, “Okay. I trust you. Please. Pleasedon’t let them kill me.”
LIAM: We may be fuck-ups–
ORION: Speak for yourself.
LIAM: But we’re not without ability. You have myword. I promise you.
MATT: “Okay. I’m very tired.”
LAURA: Desmond, dear. Let’s go upstairs. Grog!That bed needs to go back up to the guest room.
TRAVIS: Fucking hell. I start to take the fuckingbed up the stairs.
MATT: Takes you roughly another 20 minutes or soto bring it out of there, fitting it through the
door.
ORION: Erwen! Where is that old man?
MATT: As you call out, Erwen eventually comesdown. “Hi. Yes, Tiberius. You called? It’s quite
"early in the morning.” He has his night cap on andhe’s rubbing at his eyes.
MARISHA: What time is it?
MATT: Right now, it’s about probably 6:30 in themorning or so. It’s just after sunrise; you guys
haven’t even slept yet.
ORION: Oh. Shit. Never mind, I’ll talk to you oncewe’ve slept. Go back to sleep. I didn’t realize
what time it was! I thought it was 10:00 AM, whichis totally different than 6:00 AM. I didn’t know
that.
MATT: “It’s all right. All right. In the morningthen, Master Tiberius.” And he goes off to his bed
to sleep.
TRAVIS: We go to sleep?
LAURA: Yeah, we need to sleep.
SAM: I gently fall asleep under Percy’s workbench,where I’ve been hiding this whole time.
MATT: Okay, make a stealth check.
TALIESIN: Not going to sleep down there.
SAM: Natural 20.
MATT: All right, so. As the rest of you go tosleep–
TALIESIN: I’m going to go into my workshop.
LIAM: On my way up, I fall in next to Keyleth.Ask, is your hand all right?
MARISHA: It’s fine.
LIAM: Do you need anything?
MARISHA: Nope.
TRAVIS: Since he’s sleeping in the room with me, Itake a few of the caltrops that I have and I put
them on the inside of the doorway before I closeit.
MATT: Okay. So you guys are doing your setupthere. Percy, you’re in your workshop. Go ahead and
roll a perception check, Percy.
TALIESIN: 17.
MATT: 17. Okay. You go about your work.
TALIESIN: I’m fixing my gun.
MATT: Okay. The materials that it requires you todo so are expensive, you actually have to pay the
cost of the gun, and go ahead and make anothercheck.
SAM: The fuck is that sound?
MATT: So go ahead and make another tinkering check. Andthe cost of the Pepperbox should be at the bottom
of your–
TALIESIN: Is it the whole cost or half?
MATT: Should be half the cost. It should say underthe repair rules for a misfire.
TALIESIN: Half cost. Oh my god, that’s awful.Okay, tinkering check. 12.
MATT: 12. Okay.
TALIESIN: Technically, that would be a success.
MATT: Yeah. So you take the rest of the morning,unsleeping, the dark bags under your eyes. You
manage to get the Pepperbox back in workingorder.
TALIESIN: Oh, I was asleep. I wasn’t with them, soI just woke up really early.
MATT: Right, right. But even so, even though youslept, it hasn’t been very restful. It’s been
technically enough to rest, but your evening hasbeen fraught with nightmares. Perpetually. But
your Pepperbox is repaired, and does cost you halfthe cost of the weapon cost to repair.
TALIESIN: 75 gold.
ORION: I sleep in my little nook in mylaboratory.
MATT: Okay. You guys rest through the rest of themorning, waking up past noon, probably about 2:00
in the afternoon. You all gradually begin to come toconsciousness. Make your way downstairs. As you
come downstairs, you can already smell breakfasthas been prepared. You can see Laina already has
the meal set out for you, and as you guysapproach, “Oh it’s so nice of all of you to come
"down! It was very interesting. These very nicefolks came by this morning and dropped off a whole
"bunch of food and fresh veggies and stuff. Makesfor a great meal. It was very nice of them. Food
"is served.” And she gives out the plates andgives you a smile.
TRAVIS: I love you. (eating noises)
LIAM: Is this a frittata?
MATT: “I believe that’s what it’s called in somecircles. I’m trying a few new things!”
TRAVIS: Can I make a beard check?
ORION: I’m going to take some food and feed it toLockheed and roll for my animal handling for the
day.
TRAVIS: 66.
MATT: No effect, unfortunately.
TRAVIS: Just a little tingle?
MATT: There is a slight tingle, but it’s mostly aplacebo.
(laughter)
MATT: As you guys are having your meals and you’retrying and you’re feeding food, teaching this,
everyone roll a perception check.
LIAM: At home?
ORION: 16!
LIAM: I rolled a one.
MARISHA: 17.
LIAM: This frittata is lovely.
SAM: Six.
TRAVIS: Eight.
LAURA: 16. But my passive is 21.
MATT: Right, understood. Good to know. Percy’sdown in his workshop. As you guys are in the
middle of your meal, you hear, clearing thestillness and quiet of the low munching-up,
(clears throat) and sitting at the table adjacentto you guys, completely unnoticed in his entry, is
Seeker Asum, arms crossed.
LAURA: Motherfucker, you are sneaky! I need totalk to you.
TRAVIS: We are not cool right now.
MATT: “Well, obviously not. That’s why I’m here tohave a conversation with the rest of you. Please
"continue to eat. I don’t mean to disturb you.”
ORION: Oh, very well.
LAURA: Help yourself to a frittata.
MATT: “I’ve already eaten, but I appreciate theoffer.”
ORION: Try this hakuna frittata. It’s reallygood!
TRAVIS: Hakuna matata?
LAURA: Let him talk.
MATT: “What a wonderful meal. Well, things havecertainly gotten sticky, haven’t they? Well, first
"and foremost, I would like to thank you, Keyleth,for clearing my head. Lord Briarwood had locked me
"into some form of mental charm during my attemptto aid Vax–”
MARISHA: I told you it worked! Sorry, I’m a littledefensive right now. Continue.
MATT: “That’s all right. Things are a bit mixedup. It’s hard to explain; let’s just say I have
"been clouded in my judgment for the past few daysuntil you cleansed me. I’m sorry to uphold the
"charade back in the palace.”
LIAM: Apologies are mine, I think. I believe youhad some sort of plan, and I thought I knew
better, and for that I’m sorry.
MATT: “I cannot say that is untrue. But I acceptyour apology.”
LAURA: Can I roll for insight?
MATT: You may.
LIAM: Roll high!
LAURA: I know! That was a shit roll. Nine.
MATT: He’s a hard person to gauge, anyway. Yougathered over time that most of his work deals in
a network of spies and the gathering ofinformation across all of Tal'Dorei, so he is very
well-trained to hide the essence of his truenature and the intent. Hard to read. But he seems
pleasant as he’s been, and given thecircumstances. “Nevertheless, I accept your
"apology, and I apologize for having upheld thecharade during the council meeting, but I had to
"keep up appearances so as not to cause any sort ofstir at the time. I fear, based on my observations
"since, that our very own sovereign also fell tothe same charm I did and has been clouded since
"the dinner the night before.”
LAURA: Shit! That makes sense.
MARISHA: We were afraid of that.
SAM: He’s fallen for that stuff before.
MATT: “He’s been through quite a bit, and whilehe’s a resolute and a very good man, I would say
"that he is predisposed to outer influence fromthose that are quite strong-willed.”
SAM: And this is why you kept up our accusationsagainst us in front of him?
MATT: “Under those conditions, the room filledwith guards that were all intent against keeping
"you at bay. Should you have made any attempt totry and cleanse him as well during that time, I
"think you all would have wound up in prison. Orworse.”
MARISHA: So why didn’t you want to show that youwere also cleansed? What was the point of holding
up the charade?
MATT: “Because when you’re under this influence,to speak against the proposed ally of the charm is
"to draw a line. I wish to stay in his good gracesbecause that would enable us a much better chance
"of getting you close enough to him to absolve himof this charm. If I was to reveal this
"instantaneously in the presence of the entirecouncil, I fear that might have put me in the same
"court of disfavor as you and lost any futurechance of expelling this influence.”
LAURA: Do you it’s only Uriel, or do you thinkit’s the rest of the council as well?
MATT: “Best I can gather, most of the council isnot as well– how do I put it? Not used to
"business with Vox Machina. Allura seems to be ofclear mind, as she is very powerfully protected
"against such influences and did not have anyimmediate interaction with the Briarwoods during
"that dinner. I fear the intent was on thesovereign himself.”
SAM: Wait, are you saying that the Briarwoodscorrupted him?
MATT: “Same way they corrupted me.”
SAM: During the dinner? While we were all sittingthere?
MATT: “Apparently, it takes naught but a glance.”
LAURA: Oh shit! They could have gotten any of us.
ORION: Yes. They did. Me. It was ratherinconvenient. I hate them. Sorry.
MATT: “I think we have something in common.”
SAM: Aren’t you deaf?
LIAM: No, that was brief.
ORION: I mean, what?
SAM: Is that why you’re talking so loud?
ORION: Yes. I was getting it back.
MATT: “There are a few options at our disposal.You could continue to work to clear your name,
"during his distraction southward, if you have someidea as to how we could get close enough to him to
"absolve him of this now, that would leave the riskof, should anything go poorly, being poked with
"many spear holes.”
LAURA: Is it possible to sneak into his room, andrestore him without anybody knowing?
MATT: “If you’re confident. That may be more of amission for the quieter of your bunch, should they
"be a little more intelligent with their actions,going forward.”
ORION: What about drawing him out to a luncheon orwhatnot?
MATT: “I will say, based on recent circumstances,he is very careful and defensive.”
LIAM: I have fair chances of getting in, but noability to cure him of any such thing.
LAURA: What if Keyleth, who can do it, polymorphedinto a fly or a very small creature, traveled on
you, you snuck in, she popped out, did the thing.Money.
SAM: (laughs) Unless they’re caught, in whichcase, you’ve got two of our members against the
entire palace guard.
LAURA: So then you go with them and Dimension Doorout.
SAM: I didn’t even want to face the littleinvisible thing downstairs!
ORION: Why don’t we hold a special dinner?
SAM: He hates our fucking guts.
TRAVIS: Why don’t we let Seeker Asum finish?
SAM: Seeker Asum, in your opinion, is it safer totry and heal him or to try and clear our name
through the traditional legal means?
MATT: “Honestly, I have no idea. I think thisplan, if successful, is quite inspired. However,
"failure would probably end in the immediateincarceration and/or death of both individuals
"involved. Public execution does not befit thecountry-wide name of Vox Machina, if you were to
"fail. If you were to succeed, that would be themost direct route between two points.”
MARISHA: So are we in agreement that we have toclear Uriel’s mind first?
SAM: No. No, the other option is to clear ournames and not worry about clearing his mind.
LAURA: Uriel, if he’s got his mind controlled, itdoesn’t matter if we try to clear our names, he’s
going to find us guilty.
SAM: But during our trial, we will have a directline of sight to him, we might be able to get
through to him.
LIAM: Does he still trust Allura?
MATT: “As far as I know, yes.”
TRAVIS: You know, if we kill the Briarwoods, isthis even a point?
SAM: That’s true. He doesn’t trust Allura, shewasn’t even allowed in the room to talk to us.
There’s definitely suspicion there, right?
LIAM: He did. He did question her allegiances.
MATT: “If that’s the case, then perhaps hercurrent power is not as strong in the council when
"regarding you. But she is still a member of thecouncil, should she not be immediately affiliated
"with you for her purposes. This is up to you.Whatever you choose to do, if it requires my aid,
"I will give it a day before I have to leave. Mynext intent is to head– well, I wish to go past
"the eastern curtain set up by Whitestone intoWildemount. I have spent the better part of the
"past day since the cleansing seeking all recordsof the Briarwoods and their doings. There was a
"period of about eight years in which there is nopublic record of their goings-on. It appears that
"most records that deal with their involvement inWildemount, and whatever homestead gave them their
"title, Lord and Lady Briarwood, has all been buterased. So I intend to go to the source,
"Wildemount itself, and research. This will take mesome time, of course.”
ORION: When do you plan on leaving?
MATT: “Sooner the better. I was thinkingtomorrow.”
MARISHA: Is Percy here? Is Percy in the room?
MATT: Percy is not even here. Percy is down in theworkshop.
MARISHA: I go get Percy.
MATT: Okay.
TALIESIN: I was going to be at the door.
MARISHA: Oh. I come around the corner, and I seePercy.
MATT: As you come around the corner, Percy iscurrently leaning up against the side of the wall,
listening in to the conversation.
MARISHA: Hey! I was looking for you. You want tocome and actually join the conversation for once,
instead of sitting outside the door and justlistening to them? Because I really feel like this
is going to be your time to input and maybereally help?
TALIESIN: I don’t feel like doing that. Oh. Leadon.
MARISHA: Okay.
TRAVIS: Seeker Asum, we have managed to captureand keep one of the coachmen. Down in our cell.
Would he be safer in our hands, or within thecastle walls?
MARISHA: Percy and I walk in.
TRAVIS: I’m fucking asking.
MATT: “Well, that depends. If you have strongdefenses, and the enemy has no means of entering,
"then he will be safer here. The palace itself is avery well-protected area; however, there currently
"is an open invitation into the palace, and if theessence of our enemy is as I think it is, then
"they can enter whenever they like.”
TRAVIS: Never mind.
LIAM: I think we’re really choosing between twopaths here. Either we stay in town and tinker and
gamble, or we’re runaways.
SAM: Runaways? No, we go to the Briarwoods–
LIAM: That’s what I’m talking about. The minute weleave, we’re outlaws. They’ve told us not to go.
ORION: We can leave, we just cannot flee. We cantravel as we see fit. We just need to let them
know where we’re going.
LIAM: Yeah, but we can’t tell them ‘we’re going tocheck out your associates’.
TRAVIS: Yeah, we lie.
MARISHA: Wait, what’s the name of the town?
SAM: Whitestone?
MARISHA: Not Whitestone. Oh, I thought he wassaying he was going to go to their hometown.
MATT: He’s going to Wildemount, the kingdom thatthey’re originally from. The continent to the far
east.
MARISHA: He’s not going to Whitestone. He’s goingto go to Wildemount, which is on another
continent. If we go to another continent, itdoesn’t matter if we’re fleeing or not. It’s going
to look like fleeing.
TRAVIS: Why are you going to Wildemount, again?
MATT: “I’m trying to find as much information toincriminate them in case whatever you’re
"attempting does not work.”
ORION: Seeker, would you mind staying for a weekor so before your venture? We need time to
convince the council to let us leave withoutconflict and to procure particular items and
things that we need. Very briefly. Would just takesome time.
MATT: “I have already made arrangements fortravel. I could try, but depends on what you need
"me here for.”
TRAVIS: What do we need him here for?
ORION: Ultimately, protection or a good ear.
MARISHA: Do you genuinely think they’re going tolet us go with permission? We’re not on their good
side.
LAURA: No, they’re not. They’re not going to letus go.
LIAM: We’re going to be outlaws. We have to clearourselves by ending the charm on Uriel by
finishing off Sylas.
SAM: Or by killing the Briarwoods, thus ending thecharm.
LIAM: Sylas Briarwood.
MATT: “So that would be a way to clear your nameand clear his head.”
TRAVIS: Let’s do that.
SAM: Percival–
ORION: What of eight days instead of two weeks?Oh, sorry.
SAM: Percival, what do you think we should do? Goseek revenge on your family and get some blood on
our hands, Briarwood blood? Or do the sneaky thingand try to–
LAURA: Please, we need your input.
MARISHA: You know them better than anyone.
TALIESIN: I really don’t. I think we’re herebecause I wasn’t prepared.
MARISHA: Can I do an insight check on him? See ifhe knows more than what he’s saying?
MATT: Sure.
MARISHA: 19.
MATT: You can go ahead and roll a d20.
MARISHA: Is that a nine?
TALIESIN: Nine.
MATT: Is there anything you’re holding back?
TALIESIN: Nope.
MATT: He seems clear as day, telling the honesttruth.
LIAM: I don’t think we’re here in this city tobecome lords and ladies serving Uriel, as good a
man he is. I think Percival’s our ally, and thisis a grievous wrong done to him, and we can kill
two birds with one stone.
TALIESIN: I think we are in the situation we’re inbecause we now know how much we don’t know. How
much I don’t know. I’m not prepared. If we facethem now, I’m going to get you all killed.
ORION: I agree. We need proper preparation. Percy,I’m pretty sure you have a good background on
vampires and what-have-you, as do I, as I’veresearched them in the last couple of days.
There’s other things that we should research, aswell, and probably arm ourselves for that kind of
conflict, if it comes to it. Quite frankly, I havea feeling if it’s the whole town we’re dealing
with, we need to find out how many innocents thereare to save, and if the number is low enough, we
can fly in with an army ourselves, which wouldtake some time. The Draconian Knights. I am an
ambassador to Draconia, officially, after all theassistance I’ve sent, in giving them the Wheel of
Mending, and proving my point.
LAURA: You gave them the Wheel?
ORION: No, I showed it to them, proving that myquest was true, which they gave me full
ambassadorship, which means that, if harm comes toa Stormwind, harm comes to all of Draconia. And a
town full of vampires and liches–
LAURA: I didn’t know we had a whole army at ourdisposal. That’s wonderful to hear.
ORION: If worse comes to worst.
LIAM: Started on the bottom, now we’re here.
SAM: Diplomatic immunity.
ORION: Even then, our relations must be strongwith Emon. We need their allyship, as well.
Draconia will not go into things alone. We need aunion.
MARISHA: I agree. While we’re not serving Uriel,that’s not our purpose, I also don’t want to leave
an enemy of the state. That’s not good for me, forwhat I want.
ORION: I go up to Jarett. Eight days. What do youthink of eight days?
MARISHA: And what, go with Jarett? Not Jarett,Asum.
SAM: He’s not even going where we would be going.We would be going to Whitestone, right? That’s
where the Briarwoods are.
LIAM: But Keyleth, Uriel is the law, and the lawis now corrupt.
MARISHA: Then why don’t we save his mind before wego?
LAURA: Here’s the thing. He’s going to find outstuff about the Briarwoods. What’s the fucking
point of him going if we’re just going to goattack the Briarwoods before we know what he
knows? We need to let him go, find out his shit,take care of Uriel, wait until he gets back, go
take out the Briarwoods–
ORION: As Vex is saying this, Tiberius is gettinga half-chub.
TRAVIS and LAURA: A what?
TALIESIN: Well, that’s just weird.
ORION: You can’t see it because it’s inside.
LIAM: Yes, but you said it out loud.
MATT: Anyway.
ORION: I’m just saying.
SAM: It’s a strategy boner?
LIAM: It’s a strategy chub, all right.
TALIESIN: I’m still weirded out.
MARISHA: You’ve got to give context to thosethings, man.
LIAM: It’s an odd choice of words, but now 30seconds later, I see what you mean
ORION: Sorry. Her brain. That’s what I’m talkingabout.
MATT: Asum says, “My getting to Wildemount is noteasy, nor is it safe. I cannot linger for long.
"Maybe a few days.”
TALIESIN: How soon will you return?
MATT: “That depends on if I even return. Every spyI’ve sent to seek information on the Briarwoods or
"to Whitestone has not come back.”
ORION: (ripping noises) I’ll give him two strips ofScroll of Telescription. If any harm falls upon
you, write on this. I explain what it does.
MATT: Okay. How many of those do you have left, bythe way?
ORION: I have 30 tickets left, so 28 now.
LIAM: I have another idea. Uriel said that– he wasresistant, but he said that he would bring me in
to have his people check me out. Check out mystory. What if Keyleth and Scanlan rode in my
pockets–
SAM: I’m not that small.
LAURA: As roaches.
LIAM: You’re pretty small. Just as mice.
LAURA: Or bugs. Roly-polies!
LIAM: Magic user’s choice. Can you cast magic whenyou’re transformed?
SAM: No.
LAURA: So they’d have to pop out. Can you shrinkyourself and still do magic teeny-tiny?
SAM: Are you asking me?
LAURA: Either of you.
SAM: No, but I can shit on things. Yes?
ORION: Can you give the Seeker an inspirationbefore he goes on an adventure?
SAM: It could last him 20 minutes, yes. Get him tothe docks, maybe.
LAURA: Seeker, what do you think? What was yourgoal of coming here?
TRAVIS: Yeah, do you want us to come with you orwhat?
MATT: “My journey requires the utmost of silence,speed, stealth, and I mean no offense to your
"entourage, but I think I can do this alone, andshould. However, this journey may take me two
"weeks, a month, many months– I do not know. I’mdoing this just in case whatever you’re choosing
"to do fails. At least, if Vox Machina falls inthis, I can come back with proof enough to try, and
"once the army has been gathered, perhaps we canrally all of Emon against Whitestone.”
TRAVIS: If you die, can you write a letter andsign your name saying that we were right, you were
wrong, you were full of shit, the Briarwoods areassholes–
ORION: But a lot more eloquently than that.
TRAVIS: Or not.
MATT: “I can try my best.”
LAURA: That would be lovely.
MARISHA: I go up to his arm, and I Druidcraft awooden armband. Make it look cool. And put that on
him.
SAM: Onto Tiberius?
MARISHA: No, onto Asum.
Now I can scry through that. That way Ican at least check in on you every once in a while.
If you’re okay with that?
SAM: I could’ve shat on him and had the sameeffect.
MATT: Make a persuasion roll.
LAURA: What about being invisible? Can you castspells while you’re invisible?
ORION: Only with Greater Invisibility, you can.
MARISHA: 21.
SAM: We’ve always sought out the path of the mostglory, and I think that that is the Briarwoods.
Going into a giant, vampire-lich-ridden castle andkilling two evil bastards amid their army of
protectors is the coolest thing we could ever do.
LAURA: It’s super-duper cool. Here’s the thing:it’s not going to be just two, I don’t think. It’s
going to be an entire town of people that they’vecontrolled.
SAM: You think we can get into Sovereign Urielwithout anyone detecting magic on us? He’s got
clerics all round him–
LAURA: Yeah, but Seeker Asum knows all the ins andouts of the palace.
LIAM: He’s leaving town tomorrow.
LAURA: We’d have to do it stat, but he knows howto get in.
MARISHA: He did say it was an inspired idea. Hiswords.
MATT: “Regardless, you have to make a choice soon.I cannot dilly-dally. I’ll take your band, yes.”
He takes the wooden band and puts it around hisarm and says, “If this will put you at ease, I’ll
"take it.”
MARISHA: Don’t worry. I won’t abuse it, I promise.Could you potentially help us with sneaking in the
castle?
MATT: “I could get you in the door, but I couldnot escort you to that room. That would put myself
"in extreme danger and the entirety of ourmission.”
LAURA: Could you distract people?
MATT: (laughs) “I can do that quite well, yes.”
SAM: We can get there, but something tells mewe’re still going to be fighting a big fight in a
palace. I’d rather fight that big fight in theBriarwoods’.
LIAM: Scanlan and I are in agreement, and here’sthe problem. If things go south in Uriel’s palace,
we are then forced to fight against people who aregood and true, or give up and go to jail, which
sucks.
SAM: But in the Briarwoods’, we can kill everymotherfucker in that place.
ORION: There are a number of innocents that weneed to figure out, still.
MARISHA: What if we talk to Allura?
SAM: You killed an old lady!
ORION: She attacked us! And I will not back downfrom that decision.
SAM: She did have an old lady smell.
TRAVIS: All right. Can we just vote on something,please? Since Percy’s being oh-so-quiet about all
this.
MARISHA: Percy is being very quiet about this.
TRAVIS: Are you sure you have nothing to say?
LAURA: It’s fucking your family. It’s the peoplethat attacked your family. Do you have no
contribution to this?
TALIESIN: I still feel I owe everybody an apology.I still feel terrible about dragging you all into
this and putting you in danger.
LAURA: We’re choosing to do it.
MATT: “Vengeance.” A voice whispers in your ear,Percy. No one hears this. “Vengeance.”
TALIESIN: If you’re with me, we can be preparedfor them this time. We know enough to prepare
ourselves, we can have ourselves ready this time.
ORION: How many days do we have? I would likeeight days to prepare.
MARISHA: Can I see if he looks like shaken orfucked up at all?
MATT: I mean, he looks shaken and fucked up, yeah.He’s obviously had a horrible few days.
TALIESIN: I think a week to prepare isreasonable.
LAURA: And then leave.
TALIESIN: And then we leave. We leave quietly.
MARISHA: Wait, we’re leaving to Whitestone?
TRAVIS and LAURA: Yes.
TALIESIN: I’ve been avoiding it for too long, andnow I know too much.
LIAM: The law of this land is compromised.Percival, I agree with you. I think this is the
right choice.
TRAVIS: All in favor, say aye.
ALL (except Orion): Aye.
TRAVIS: All opposed, say nay. Nice.
MATT: “Then it is settled. I’ll be on my way.”
LAURA: Wait! Before you go, could I talk to you?
MATT: “Certainly.”
LAURA: Were you going to say anything else?Because I’ll talk to you in private.
MATT: “Three days and I’ll be off on my side ofthe mission. Very well.”
LAURA: I’ll follow you out.
MATT: Yes, and he walks out, walks with you.
TALIESIN: Hold on, I’m going to hold you beforeyou go. I just wanted to say, I’m so sorry and
thank you. And thank you for doing this for me. Ifear my temper before this weight is lifted from
my heart. I do not wish to lose myself like thatagain, and I am so sorry for everything I’ve
done.
ORION: Tiberius puts his hand on Percy’s shoulder,and go, I’m sorry for the tragedy which is your
family, and what these Briarwoods have befallen tothem, and I will promise you, I will do my best to
have you give that final blow from that barrel tothe names assigned to them. But now it is a far
dangerous situation, as you very well know.
TALIESIN: I will do my best to maintain myself. Iapologize.
MATT: And as you all scatter, Percy, as you walkout, the same voice creeps into your ear, “Yes.”
Now, as you step out with Seeker Asum, who now hasa bit of haste to his step, arms crossed, looking
around. “So you wish to speak with me?”
LAURA: Yes, I do. You’re a ranger.
MATT: “I am.”
LAURA: You’re very sneaky.
MATT: “I can be.”
LAURA: I’ve only ever seen people like thieves,like my brother, do things like you’ve done. Can
you teach me anything that you know to help memaybe be a little more stealthy, as well?
MATT: (sighs) “We’ll go over what you know, andperhaps there are a few tricks that I can teach you
"in the three days I have. I can’t guarantee thatit’ll be extremely changing, as that’s a very
"short time to train over what I’ve learned over alifetime, but I can certainly attempt.”
LAURA: I appreciate it.
MATT: “I require your concentration for thosedays, though, before I leave.”
LAURA: Utmost.
MATT: “All right. Meet me at the morrow, crack ofdawn. I’ll be at the front of your keep.”
LAURA: Okay.
MATT: “Very well.” And he heads off, outside ofthe keep. The rest of you, what are you doing?
ORION: I go to my laboratory.
MARISHA: What time is it?
MATT: About 3:00, 4:00 in the afternoon now.
TRAVIS: That temple of Sarenrae is in the city.
MATT: It’s part of the keep, yeah. Oh, you meanthe actual temple you went to? That is inside the
city, yes. You can go into the city; you justcan’t get to the Cloudtop District.
ORION: Use the earring real quick. I’m going towrite a quick letter. If anybody goes shopping,
let me know.
MATT: Tiberius loves shopping.
LAURA: He really, really does.
MATT: All right, we’ll go ahead and take a quickbreak. We’ll be back in five minutes. Keep it a
stringent break, guys.
LIAM: So errands will happen after that break?Because I have some errands that I want to do.
MATT: Yes. We’ll try to keep the errands prettyconcise so we can keep on schedule, yeah, so it’s
like, use this break to conjecture exactly whatyou want to do. All right, guys, we’ll see you
back here in five minutes.
[break]
MATT: Welcome back. So to try and expedite this,over the next period of time you guys want to take
to prepare, what are you going to do? Percy.
TALIESIN: I’m going to finish up those things thatwe talked about earlier, spend some time making
some ammunition, and I’m going to attempt to buildwhat we were talking about earlier.
MATT: Okay. Go ahead and make a tinkering checkfor your ammunition.
MARISHA: What we were talking about? Can I helphim with that? Can I assist him?
MATT: I would say the tinkering, the mechanismsinvolved, would be so far beyond your
understanding as a druid. Even just metalwork ingeneral. You can cheer him on, but would not be
able to assist him with it.
MARISHA: Go Percy, go! That’s pretty good.
TALIESIN: 24.
MATT: 24? Okay. You manage to produce 25 roundsfor your Pepperbox and ten rounds for the Bad
News.
LAURA: Ooh, that’s good.
MARISHA: You still have inspiration from Scanlan?
TALIESIN: No, I used that.
MATT: Used that to repair his Pepperbox. Roll forthe secondary construction. Smoke bombs.
TALIESIN: Okay. 11.
MATT: 11. You take a better part of two daysattempting to get these to work, and most of your
materials are ruined, unfortunately. You manage tocome out with it with, and I want you to write
this down, “smoke bomb, question mark.” It mayfunction. We will see upon use. But you have one
at your disposal that is questionable. However,for the cost of the ammunition and the cost of the
smoke bomb’s construction, already that comes toabout, I’d say 75 gold pieces, so mark that off.
And you’re attempting to make, you’re attemptingto make, based on what you told me, an Archimedes
death ray.
TALIESIN: They’re not hard. I say that as, like,knowing my actual skill level, I could make one.
MATT: You could. To be functional with thematerials that are at your disposal, it’s going to
be very large and hard to move.
MARISHA: We were talking about making itcollapsible.
TALIESIN: I could make a collapsible one, whereit’s basically a one-third dodecahedron, like an
observatory.
MATT: You spend the remainder of this week ofpreparation. Go ahead and roll your tinkering
check. This is going to cost you in materials.
ORION: Wait, hold on, can I pause real quick? Youdon’t need to do this if you want to make more
ammo and other stuff. I can do this without youmaking this and spending the rest of the time, if
you want to make other stuff. Option.
MATT: What do you want to do?
TALIESIN: Story-wise it’s more amusing.
MATT: Okay, go for it. All right, so. The actualmaterials for this–
TALIESIN: It’s copper.
MATT: I know, it’s copper, but the actualdodecahedron that’s involved, the mirrors, the
lenses, the whole thing? In order to be of thescale and quality to even make it even remotely
functional, all of it for the extremely highquality and some of it custom-made within
the first couple days within this, with a rushorder. I’d say the total cost is going to come to
about 1,200 gold pieces.
MARISHA: I’ll pitch in for that. How much do youhave?
TALIESIN: At this point I have less than 100gold.
MARISHA: You have less than 100 gold? I’ll pay forit in full.
ORION: What is the diameter of this?
MATT: The actual focal lens is about this big. Thewhole construct can be carried by two people.
TALIESIN: But it will fold.
ORION: I was just going to say, what’s the radiusof the actual thing’s lens?
MATT: Of the lens itself? This is the radius ofthe lens. I mean, even when it’s collapsed, it can
be carried by one person, but it’s still a heavymechanism.
ORION: So it’s only one foot? Two feet? Threefeet?
MATT: I’d say it’s about two and a half feet indiameter.
ORION: Are you sure you want to do that?
MATT: He’s already agreed. Go ahead and roll.
MARISHA: Why? It’s fine. This is what we weretalking about.
TALIESIN: 22.
MATT: 22. Through the materials and the constructof it, you get partway through the final stages of
it, and as you’re tightening one of the sections,all of a sudden there’s a (cracking) sound. Your
whole body freezes as you glance over. the lensitself has a giant crack through it.
TALIESIN: There shouldn’t be a glass piece– aw,man.
MATT: For the construct for this one, there was afocusing lens that is part of what the initial
blast, otherwise there wouldn’t be a point ofactually projecting a ray from.
ORION: I thought they were all mirrors.
MATT: There’s all different sorts of constructionbased on. This one’s the one we’re going on here,
or if you can say the center of it is a gem, butregardless, the tinkering roll was not high enough
to construct the device. Sorry.
MARISHA: The whole thing’s wasted? Can we try andrepair the crack?
MATT: It’s not something you can repair. Theentire piece is constructed from a solid piece.
TALIESIN: What, could we put it on the MendingWheel?
MATT: You could attempt to.
ORION: (grunting) Let’s see. Okay. (clickingnoise)
TRAVIS: I want to go to the store. I would like toget a shovel and a pickaxe.
ORION: You going to Gilmore’s? We’re going toGilmore’s, too. We could go together if you’re
doing that.
TRAVIS: I don’t give a fuck where we go. Just ashovel and a pickaxe.
MATT: Pickaxe… comes to four gold pieces forthe two of those. You got them. Make a secondary
tinkering check.
TALIESIN: 22.
MATT: 22. This time you go back and as you’retightening it, the actual metal housing of the
device ends up bending in a way that both cracksthe gem and causes the frame itself to be dented to
the point where the beam will be imperfect. Thisis a very hard thing that you’ve come up with in
your mind that has not been constructed before,and the level of difficulty to create this is very
difficult. It does not cost you additional money,thanks to the Mending Wheel, but right now the
entire device looks like to continue, it’s goingto take more time and money to construct it.
TALIESIN: (sighs) I can always use this for spareparts for other things.
LAURA: You’re already 1,200 in? How much morewould you have to put in?
MATT: I’d say about half the cost. An additional 600.
MARISHA: And how many more days?
MATT: Two more days.
MARISHA: How many more days do we have?
MATT: You agreed upon eight, so we’d be pushingabout seven, then.
TALIESIN: I’ve already built a smoke bomb andsome rounds of bullets. All right, I’ll put a
little more time in this. Can I get someinspiration for this, too, if that would be
possible?
LIAM: Music, you mean?
MARISHA: There’s nothing I can do to help him?
MATT: Unfortunately– what’s your intellect?
MARISHA: My intellect? I’ve got plus three.
SAM: (singing) Here comes the sun–
ALL: (singing) It’s all right. (vocalizing)
LIAM: (singing) Kill the vampire.
MARISHA and TALIESIN: Come on, come on.
MARISHA: Percy roll. Come on.
TALIESIN: 23?
MATT: Working on the device a third time, you getit right to the point where you think it could
work and you go to set it up, and as you do, youfind that the light focuses in a way that actually
slowly melts the copper on the outside of thehousing of the device, and it begins to melt onto
itself, and you have to pull it out of the light.This design is beyond your grasp right now. You’re
inventing something that takes quite a lot of timeto eventually perfect.
TALIESIN: Okay. I’m going to put these away for alater time, and if I have one more day, I would
like to work on–
MARISHA: Maybe a version of it that is notcollapsible that we can at least mount?
TALIESIN: We’ve got it taken care of.
MATT: That’s been your guys’ week.
TALIESIN: That’s my week, okay.
MATT: Okay. You bought your pickaxe and yourshovel. Cool. Vex, what are you doing?
LAURA: I’m training.
MATT: You’re training, okay.
LIAM: All right. I want to be brief. I have fourthings I want to do, but I’ll be very brief. I
promise. Okay, so first thing I want to do is Ithink at some point, I heard Tiberius talking about
wooden stakes and vampires. So I want to go buyabout ten wooden stakes.
ORION: I give him extra. Get me 20.
LIAM: I’m going shopping.
LAURA: Yes, get me some holy arrows.
LIAM: Can I get a loaner on that? I’ve got about230 gold.
TRAVIS: I thought you said you were going to bebrief. (laughs)
LIAM: On my own.
MARISHA: I thought we got a bit of an allowance.
LIAM: It’s a week, so I get some gold from thesepeople and I go and I don’t even know what they
said. I’m getting ten wooden stakes for myself.
MATT: 20, technically, because Tiberius requestedten. Those will cost you a total of two gold.
LIAM: That’s what I thought. And what did youwant?
LAURA: I wanted some holy arrows.
MATT: Make an investigation check.
LAURA: Or holy water. Try to get some holy water.Holy oil.
LIAM: I’ll get to that. Investigation, you say?That is a 13.
MATT: 13. Asking around the town: holy arrows,that is an enchantment. They’re pricey and they
don’t appear to be anywhere in the major shops,even shops like Gilmore’s, that they specialize
in. It’s usually a special order-type thing. Holywater flasks can be purchased at 20 gold apiece.
LIAM: I’ll get to that. All right, so we got wood.That was two gold, you said. All right, minus two.
The next thing I want to do is go to the temple ofSarenrae and get my sister’s holy oil for her. How
much is that?
MATT: Holy oil? As opposed to the holy water?
LIAM: I’ll take both, if you’ve got it.
MATT: Well, holy oil is a more expensive version.Holy water is a one-use. Holy oil can be applied
to a weapon.
LIAM: Holy oil.
ORION: How much do the stakes weigh? Like eachstake?
MATT: A cluster of ten, if that’s what you wanted,would weigh about five pounds. But they’re
relatively light.
ORION: Tell him that he bought me 20 more.
SAM: Tell him that he bought you?
LIAM: 40 stakes, four gold. Totally happened. ThenI went to the temple of Sarenrae and I got two
vials of holy oil. One for my sister, one for me.
MATT: Those are 100 gold apiece.
LIAM: Okay. Got it. I can’t. Oh, you gave me gold.I’ll get four vials of that.
LAURA: Yeah, I gave him gold to do it.
LIAM: We’ll work that out, I promise. I ask if thecleric who helped bring Pike back to life is
here.
MATT: Yeah, Tristan is here.
LIAM: Jesus, how do you do that?
MATT: Because I have to.
LIAM: When I find him I say, you remember myfriend Pike? You remember me?
MATT: “Yes, I inspected you. Is that healing well,by the way?” He inspects the wounds on the side of
your neck.
LIAM: It is. I’m grateful. I need a keepsake ofyour deity.
[no audio]
MATT: And he steps away, goes back, disappears fora minute, comes back and he’s holding in a chain
around his neck– It’s seen some years of use, butstill clean and very well kept, an identical holy
symbol of Sarenrae as the one that Pike keepsaround her neck. He hands it over and puts it over
your head. “May she keep you safe and bring yoursoul to redemption.”
LIAM: It reminds me of my friend.
MATT: “As it should.” Pats you on the cheek. “Asit should.”
LIAM: All right, so chore number two down. I wouldlike to go to Uriel’s temple and ask the guards if
anyone has seen my belt, Simon.
MATT: You are stopped at the edge of the CloudtopDistrict. The guards see you as you approach and
block the doorway and say, “We’re sorry, butVox Machina has been given no passage into the
"Cloudtop District at this time.”
LIAM: I understand. I don’t mean to go in. Iunderstand that we caused a lot of trouble, and I
am very sorry, and I don’t mean to be any furthertrouble. There is a belt that I left inside.
MATT: “That’s certainly unfortunate, isn’t it?”
LIAM: Have you seen a snake called Simon? Or anysnake?
MATT: Both the guards look at each other and laughfor a second. “Piss off.”
LIAM: Okay. Chore number four.
(laughter)
LIAM: I go back. I give everybody their things. Iwould like to spend the rest of the week, because
I am ready, hanging out across the road from thebutcher’s house that Kynan ran from, and if there
are any youths his age who go there to shop, Iwould like to ask as they leave if they have any
idea where he’s gone.
MATT: Okay. Make a perception check.
LIAM: Perception check. Oh, that’s a seven.Thought it was a one. (laughs) That is a 17.
MATT: 17. Okay. Keeping an eye out, you doeventually come across a boy that looks about his
age. Late teens, maybe early twenties. Comes byand gathers a little bit of meat and rushes off
and you stop him.
LIAM: Excuse me, I’m sorry to take you away from yourday. I’m sorry, what is your name?
MATT: “Jameson.”
LIAM: Jameson.
MATT: “Yeah, can I help you? I’ve really got to gethome with this.”
LIAM: I understand, I’ll just take a second ofyour time. I owe a boy who lives here named Kynan,
I owe him a few silver and I want to see that hegets it. Is he in town?
MATT: Make a deception check.
LIAM: I’ll use the meteorite. That’s a 15.
MATT: 15, gives you a look over and goes, “I’mcertain you’ve given him silver, but Kynan’s been gone
"for the better part of a week.”
LIAM: Where would he have gone?
MATT: “I don’t know. He just told us all hewas off to find his destiny or some sort of
"bullshit like that. He’s always had his head inthe clouds, that one.”
LIAM: I agree. He ever talked about where he wasgoing, how he meant to go about doing it?
MATT: “No, kept to himself mostly. Sorry, I wish Icould be more of a service. If I see him, where
"should I send him?”
(clattering)
LIAM: I don’t know who that guy is. If you seehim, tell him that V. is looking for him at
Greyskull Keep.
MATT: “Well, I’ll pass that along.”
LIAM: Thank you.
MATT: “Good day,” and he hurries off to continuewith his errand.
LIAM: Are you all right, old man?
TRAVIS: (old-man voice) I’m fine. It’s my knee.
(laughter)
MATT: Is that your last errand?
LIAM: That’s it.
MATT: Scanlan.
SAM: I go to Gilmore’s. Are we near Gilmore’s?
MATT: Yeah, Gilmore’s in the city. He’s not in theCloudtop, so you have access to him still.
SAM: I want to know if such a thing exists, and ifso, how much. A potion or a scroll that could
invoke either Hallow or Spirit Guardians.
TALIESIN: Say what?
SAM: Spirit Guardians is four. Hallow is five.
MATT: Here we go. Okay. Asking around, there areno potions for it, but there is a Scroll of Hallow
available, and I will say that comes to roughly6,000 gold pieces for the Scroll of Hallow.
MARISHA: It’s how much?
MATT: 6,000 for the Hallow Scroll. And for theSpirit Guardian, you said it was? 4th-level?
SAM: 4th-level.
MATT: That one is 2,000 gold.
LAURA: What does that do?
SAM: Spirit Guardians would make some beingsaround us.
MATT: Spirit Guardians is level three, actually,not level four. That makes it a lot cheaper. That
is 600 gold.
SAM: It scares evil things away. It’s like aPike-y thing.
LAURA: Do it.
SAM: Can I cast that if I have a scroll?
MATT: If you have a scroll you can, yeah. It has achance of failing.
MARISHA: Yeah, you have to have magic.
SAM: How much did you say?
MATT: 600 gold pieces.
SAM: I’ll buy one of those.
MATT: There’s only one available. So you mark thatdown.
SAM: Okay. Yes, I will. I would also like to finda smithy of some sort and make me a little metal
choker of chainmail.
MATT: Okay, remembering that you have spoken toKarin before, which is the renowned custom
blacksmith in Emon, you speak with her. Achainmail half coif around the neck there is
relatively inexpensive. It’s a partial piece ofarmor. She looks at some scrap chainmail on the
side and is like: “I’d be more than happy to usethat for it. It shouldn’t me take more than an hour,
"two maybe at most.”
LAURA: Get one for everyone.
TRAVIS: I think they can bite besides the neck,right?
LAURA: Yeah, technically, but still!
SAM: (laughs) Sure, I’ll get eight of them, orseven of them.
MATT: Okay. (laughs) All right.
SAM: How much are they?
MATT: Seven of those. I’d say for the whole sevenit’d put you at 100 gold, because it’s custom
orders. Seven of those.
LIAM: What are they?
SAM: Chainmail chokers
MARISHA: Chainmail dickies.
TRAVIS: Oh wait, do you have one more?
SAM: And a small one for my dick.
(laughter)
MATT: All righty.
SAM: A tiny one.
MATT: She awkwardly judges and turns that requestdown. She’s uncomfortable with that.
SAM: Then I bow and leave.
MATT: Okay. So you got that. Yes. Just a secondthere, Tiberius.
LIAM: I go to Gilmore’s Glorious Goods and ask atthe front door if Gilmore is there.
MATT: Gilmore, unfortunately, is in Westruuncurrently. Still overseeing the construction of
his expansion there.
LIAM: Understood. Who’s the most knowledgeableperson next to Gilmore in this store right now?
MATT: That would be… I can’t find myupdated NPC sheet. Do you remember what her name
was?
MARISHA: Sherri.
MATT: Sherri, thank you. I was like, Shelby? No.Sherri. Sherri is there greeting you. “That would
"probably be me.”
LIAM: Oh, hi. You remember me. I have a veryimportant question. I won’t take up much of your
time. I pull out a small metal skull cap. Dentedin a few places, rusted a bit, from the Underdark.
What can you tell me about this?
MATT: She takes it. “If you’re requestingidentification of a magical item, that is a
"service we charge.”
LIAM: Sis, can I borrow some money?
LAURA: How much do you need?
LIAM: How much would that require?
MATT: “125 gold pieces per enchantmentidentified.”
LIAM: Done.
MATT: “All right.”
LAURA: Talk her down.
MATT: She takes it. She steps inside, sets it onthe counter. She starts going through her books
and starts looking at it and holding it for asecond and doing a full inspection of it. “Based
"on the enchantment on this device, it’s very crudein construction and the enchantment is in an
"arcane offshoot of language I’m not very familiarwith, but it appears it is a guard from some sort
"of a mental influence. If worn, it would give youa stronger resistance against things that would
"attempt to peer into your mind.”
LIAM: Are we talking magic?
MATT: “Yes.” So essentially what it would do is itwould give you advantage on wisdom saving throws
against magic spells.
LIAM: Against?
MATT: It would give you advantage on wisdom savingthrows against magical effects.
LIAM: That’s fucking brilliant. I hand her thegold and say, Scanlan sends his regards.
MATT: She noticeably blushes and goes, “Well, sendmine back if you wouldn’t mind. I’ve got work to
"do.” And she rushes off.
LIAM: Thank you.
MATT: All right. Now, Tiberius.
SAM: 16 errands.
ORION: I only have eight. Just kidding, no. Thereal quick one is going to the Temple of
Sarenrae to pick up a canteen.
MATT: Okay. Did you pay for it already? You paidup front. Okay. So you get the canteen, the
explanation is: the enchantment of the actualwater creation itself is separate than the holy
enchantment that has been attached to it. The holyenchantment is not very powerful because it is an
enchanted item. How it functions is the firstburst per day that you use of the water does an
additional 1d6 radiant damage. That’s it. But anyadditional after that is just water. Basically,
whatever water is immediately contained within itat the start of the day is considered blessed.
Once that’s expelled, all the rest that itcreates– because it’s pulling it out of the
elemental plane of water; that’s how it’scontinuously projecting it. The rest of it runs
straight through, so it doesn’t have a chance toeven absorb the blessing.
ORION: Gotcha. Okay, cool. Second thing. I dropoff my Swallow, or I’ll call it the surge blade,
and to have that enchanted on both ends.
MATT: With?
ORION: One side fire, the other side water. Sohowever many mages I have to hire for that to
happen in ten days, I think we talked about itbeing eight days or something like that? Or was
that only one side?
MATT: (laughs) So what enchantment do you want? Doyou want to just do an additional– What do you
want it to be?
ORION: I just want it to be a magical weapon.
MATT: Just a magical weapon? Okay, just a generalplus-one magical weapon. Okay. That would take
about– let me double-check the rarity here.
SAM: In the meantime, check out those CriticalRole keychains available on Geek and Sundry.
(laughter)
MATT: That would run you approximately 700 gold tocreate it as a plus-one magical item. Would take
one mage a week to do it.
ORION: Okay. So I’ll do that.
MATT: Okay, so for the week it takes, you pay700 gold pieces. Your quarterstaff with a
couple of daggers tied to the end is nowconsidered a plus-one magical weapon.
(laughter)
ORION: I stop at Gilmore’s and I drop off my Ringof Protection. And pay whatever that is to add a
plus-one to make it instead of a minor, an actualRing of Protection.
MATT: Unfortunately, the thing is, an enchantmentcannot be progressively enhanced. You would
have to disenchant and then re-enchant the entirething.
ORION: I thought Gilmore said they could do thatthere, before. That’s why I was going to cough up
the green for the Gil, as it were.
MATT: No. They can enchant the item with it, butit would be the cost of basically re-enchanting
the item.
ORION: How much would that be?
MATT: That would cost approximately 25,000 goldpieces.
SAM: Oh jeez.
MATT: And it would take the better part of a year. Aplus-two Ring of Protection is a very powerful
item.
SAM: It’s worth it. It’s a good investment.
MATT: That you even acquired one earlier was greatluck.
ORION: How about buffing the ring of sourcespelling–
MATT: The Ring of Spell Storing?
SAM: The thing that I had that I still want. Thatone.
MATT: The Ring of Spell Storing? That’s itsenchantment. There is no more powerful version of
the Ring of Spell Storing. If you wanted to attempt todo that yourself on your own time, you could. That
will cost you upward 60,000 gold pieces and abouta year.
ORION: No, not right now.
LAURA: How about we stick to the level we’re at?
ORION: I didn’t know all that stuff was going tobe that way. That’s why I asked.
LIAM: How do you learn if you don’t ask?
MATT: It’s good to ask these things.
ORION: (laughs) So okay. While the days are going,I want to roll for animal handling to teach
Lockheed stuff, which is every morning, whatever.
MATT: I’ll say throughout the week, ‘cause you’vetaught Lockheed a lot of things back to back. You
can’t cram everything in there in the three tofour days and like: “You learn everything!”
Because you’ve already taught Lockheed one thingthis week. Roll for a second thing you want to
teach Lockheed.
ORION: Like, with advantage? I’m just having fun.
MATT: Sure, I’ll give you advantage on that.
ORION: That’s fine, that’s fine. I’ll take that.That’s 17.
MATT: Roll advantage. Go for it.
ORION: 17.
TRAVIS: For the sake of brevity, can I roll onebeard check?
MATT: Yeah. You can roll several beard checks.
TRAVIS: 43.
MATT: 43. It starts filling in.
TRAVIS: 81.
MATT: Nope.
TRAVIS: 86.
LIAM: Aw, come on Grog.
TRAVS: 16.
MATT: 16.
TRAVIS: 68, 19. 58.
MATT: Okay. So by the time the week comes to an end, theother side of your beard has finally filled in and
you are back to a full beard, Grog.
LAURA: Good job, Grog.
MATT: So yeah, that succeeds. It takes you a fewdays to get it though, but what do you want to
teach Lockheed?
ORION: I want to teach him to be quiet.
MATT: A very important thing to teach a creature.So Lockheed has learned to be quiet. Good. Anything
else?
ORION: Yes. I got that, that. Throughout the days,I’m going to go all the shops and see how many
glass mirrors– I’m looking for mirrors, just allkinds of mirrors, every size.
MATT: There are plenty of mirrors out there. Thereare general stores that sell them all over.
ORION: I’m looking for five-by-five to ten-by-tensize mirrors.
SAM: Feet?!
ORION: Yeah. No, inches.
MATT: Okay. I misunderstood. Yeah. You could’vehad them custom made if they weren’t out there,
but they have mirrors of that size available.
ORION: I need about 1,500 of them. Can I get1,500? How many can I get?
MATT: There aren’t that many mirrors in the city.
ORION: Okay. All of them.
SAM: You know, if you hold two next to each otherthere looks like there’s a million of them.
ORION: You know what, that’s true.
MATT: They’re five gold apiece, and of what iscurrently available for purchase, you may be able
to acquire about 35 mirrors, and you’ll clean outmost of the places that will stop selling them to
you.
LIAM: That’s cutting-edge technology in this dayand age.
ORION: How many, if I laid them out on a flatsurface, how many– (laughs) How many feet would
that cover?
LIAM: Well, two per foot, Tibs. They’re fiveinches apiece, right? You can fit two in a foot.
So you just bought 35, so that’s about–
LAURA: 17 feet! 17 whole feet of mirrors!
SAM: If you’re doing a square, it’s three feet bythree feet.
MATT: Yeah, four by four. So there you go. Four byfour.
ORION: I’ll take all that. How much is that?
MATT: Okay. 35 times five. So we’re looking at 175gold.
ORION: Done. And then, for timeline stuff, I’mgoing to do as much as I can to start enchanting
my bolts, and I’m going to go work with Keyleth onstuff.
MATT: Keyleth’s been working with Percy this wholetime.
MARISHA: The whole time?
MATT: It’s taken the entire week for him, you saidyou were assisting him.
MARISHA: No, you said I couldn’t assist him. I hadno intelligence to assist him.
MATT: I thought you said you were still going tohelp cheer him on. Okay, then no worries. Then yeah,
you’re available.
ORION: I’m going to try to make as many sleepbolts as I can. But the other thing with Keyleth is I
would like to enchant a bolt that is a smokescreen, but it consists of holy water. So I use a
pour of the day from the canteen and use that as amist instead of a smoke.
MATT: The enchantment of an arrow to do that isthe use of a Fog spell. There is no way to infuse
a Fog spell with holy water.
MARISHA: That’s what I was saying. I don’t know ifyou can do holy water. I can do a Fog spell.
ORION: Can we infuse a Fog spell with a Sleepspell?
MATT: No.
ORION: Can we try super hard?
MATT: Sure. Make a roll.
ORION: God damn it. Okay.
MARISHA: Like, the best I could possibly do ismaybe take one of these holy water things.
ORION: What am I rolling?
MATT: Plus arcana.
TRAVIS: Do you think it matters? No.
ORION: 24.
MATT: 24. Okay. After spending approximately 500gold in materials, the enchantment fails, both
spells fizzled. You lost 500 gold. But now youknow. Probably can’t combine two spells into a
single enchantment.
LIAM: And knowing is half the battle.
ORION: Don’t worry, it came out of my pocket.
SAM: I’ve got fog.
ORION: Okay.
TRAVIS: How about you get nothing else, and wemove on?
ORION: Last thing.
TRAVIS: No last thing.
ORION: I stop at Allura’s.
MATT: You go towards the Cloudtop District, andthe guards stop you again.
ORION: I remember that as I walk up, and I go backto Greyskull Keep.
MATT: All right.
MARISHA: Oh wait, I don’t do that.
ORION: Oh wait, I don’t do that.
MARISHA: #OrionAcaba.
ORION: I realize what I’m doing, and I stop.
LIAM: Also. This will just take ten seconds, atsome point in the week, when Keyleth is taking a
walk, I go into her garden, and I clip one flower,and I take it.
MATT: How many sleep bolts?
LIAM: Go sleep in your money.
ORION: You said I could do that.
TALIESIN: You’re busy this week.
SAM: Can he get back to the keep and we’ve allleft four days ago?
(laughter)
ORION: Carrying groceries in, look, guys: hoagiestuff!
SAM: Dear Tiberius. We left.
LAURA: We got really bored and we left.
MATT: Okay, I will say for each arrow, it willcost you 600 gold and will take you six days to
do, per arrow.
LAURA: Six days per arrow?
MATT: Yes. It’s one day per 100 gold of anenchantment. Which is even me making it higher
than the book says. It should take you four timesthat.
ORION: Cool. Can it cost more if I hire a mage?
LAURA: (screams)
MATT: You want to hire a mage?
MARISHA: I need to do shit, too. I can’t beeveryone’s bitch.
MATT: So three and a half days and it cost you1,200 gold for a single sleep bolt.
ORION: Sweet. And I do two of those. And I’mbroke.
LIAM: He’s spent people, he’s spent.
MATT: Okay, so you’ve done all of yourshopping in one day and spent the rest of the week
doing those. All right, so there we go. You’rebroke and you have two sleep bolts on your person.
Keyleth.
MARISHA: I got to Gilmore’s and I buy an alchemyset.
MATT: Okay. That comes to–
SAM: 95,000 gold
ORION: It’s going to be a lot more than you think,apparently.
MATT: Alchemist supplies? 50 gold.
ORION: Oh, come on!
MATT: Not enchanted, yo. “It’s magic, give me allthe magic!”
TALIESIN: This is made of things.
MARISHA: This is made of things. And then I gohome and I make a few Cure Wounds potions. Try it
out, since I’ve learned and I’ve been studying andI’ve been doing my research. So maybe a few level
two, level three Cure Wounds potions?
MATT: A level two healing potion, a greaterhealing potion. The materials involved in creating
that will come to, I’d say about 400 apiece, andyou’d have time to create two. It’s about four
days per potion.
SAM: (whispered) How much do they cost?
MATT: To purchase? They cost about 500 to 600.She’s getting a discount because she’s making it
herself.
MARISHA: Wait, they cost 500 to 600 and they cost400 for me to make them?
MATT: Yes. It’s your first time doing it. They’llprobably get cheaper over time as you get better
at it.
MARISHA: Oh, okay. Cheaper over time as I getbetter at it? That’s funsies. Well, let me make–
What is that? A greater healing potion?
MATT: It’s a greater healing. So for each one youmake, roll a d20 and add five.
MARISHA: Let me make one for right now.
MATT: Okay.
MARISHA: That’s an 18. That’s pretty good.
MATT: Then yeah, you successfully create thepotion. No issue.
MARISHA: Awesome. I had a Percy-roll! And he hatesme for it. How long will it take me to make a
Daylight scroll?
MATT: A Daylight scroll? What level spell isthat?
MARISHA: Third.
MATT: Third? That’ll cost you about, I’d say, 600gold pieces. It’ll take you six days. You don’t
have time. You could pay more to have somebody elsehelp you make one if you wanted to.
MARISHA: Then I make two greater healing potions.Actually, no, I want to experiment. I want to take
one of those holy water bottles. And I want to seeif I can enchant it with my Fog spell. To make it a
holy water fog grenade. When you throw it, it’llgo (shatters) with my fog spell.
MATT: You know that upon throwing the holy water,it would shatter. It would create a fog, but the
holy water itself would just affect the creatureyou threw it at. You’d be able to blend the two
enchantments; they don’t necessarily mix. The fogitself is not created from the water, it’s created
from the glass that you’re enchanting.
LAURA: Plus, we didn’t get any holy water, we onlygot holy oil to put on our weapons.
MATT: You have a couple of flasks of holy water.
MARISHA: What if I enchant it with Daylight? Ohwait, it still won’t–
MATT: It’s a whole different thing. Daylight,that’s more of a scroll thing.
MARISHA: I’m going to do it, anyway. I’m going todo the fog thing, because I said it. I’m going to
commit.
MATT: Okay. That will cost you– I’ll put it at500 gold pieces. And that’ll take you five days.
ORION: For a fog scroll?
MARISHA: No, for the fog holy water thing. It’s aholy smoke grenade.
LIAM: Someday, we will get out of the charactercreation menu, but not this day.
TALIESIN: I don’t like the nose yet. It’s toolow.
MARISHA: Sure. That’ll be my two things I do.
MATT: Okay, roll another d20. Plus five.
MARISHA: Natural 20.
MATT: All right. You feel the fog enchantment takeshape in the glass vial. It seems relatively
unstable. You gather that this glass was not meantto contain an enchantment from the get-go. You
somehow manage to make it function, but you haveto be very careful with that vial.
ORION: Here, put it in here.
MATT: Who knows what’ll happen if it actually isthrown?
LAURA: Don’t put it in a Bag of Holding.
LIAM: Give it to Scanlan.
MARISHA: Who would like a very unstable item?
LAURA: Percy’s used to unstable things.
MARISHA: I give it to Scanlan.
TALIESIN: Was that a jab at my– No, never mind.
MATT: It’s a fog-enchanted vial of holy water. Youcan write it down that way if you’d like.
SAM: I’ll just put it on my back. I’ll just hangit.
MARISHA: Please be careful. Wait, I tell him.Scanlan, this is very delicate. Please be very
gentle with this.
SAM: I will put it where I put all gentle things.
MARISHA: That I trust. I trust that more. Fine.Good.
ORION: You do not make the wisest decisions hereyour Majesty, I must say.
MATT: What was once holy–
(laughter)
MATT: All right.
TALIESIN: Oh god.
SAM: I give everyone the chainmail.
MATT: Okay. You give all the chainmail.
LAURA: Oh. Look at this, so fancy.
SAM: I take that fancy box I bought a couple timesago, and I take the blue crystal that we found in
our very first adventure and I put it in and Iseal it tight. Shit. I had one more thing I wanted
to do. Oh yes, I drink my Shit-Scrying Potion,shit in a jar and leave it in the kitchen. And
tell the help, don’t touch it.
MATT: Okay. (laughs) It takes much convincing, butnevertheless they acquiesce to your request, being
the boss. All right. Anything else?
TALIESIN: Yeah. Just going to let the guards knowto watch our guest while we’re away. Keep him
under protection.
TRAVIS: Are we leaving him here?
TALIESIN: I think so.
LAURA: Oh god.
MATT: The what?
ORION: The guy who built stuff, regardless, did Ido that or is that just in my head?
MATT: Lord Daxio, you mean? What about him?
ORION: So I didn’t do that yet.
TRAVIS: Yeah, you going to do something on hisroom, Keyleth?
LAURA: I go find Jarett, and I give him 200 gold.And I say, do not let– Desmond? Leave your side.
Watch him, watch for invisible anything. Protecthim with everything you can.
MATT: “I will do this with my life. Do notworry.”
SAM: Have we given them a raise?
LAURA: I just gave him 200 fucking gold.
TRAVIS: Double the guard on him.
LAURA: And yeah, everybody– fuck. I give ahundred–
SAM: Five of them make 100 a month, two of themmake 50 a month.
LAURA: I give another 200 to him and tell him topass it out to the rest of the guard. We’ll be
back soon!
MATT: “Very generous, and I think they’ll be veryhappy to find this. Thank you very much.”
LAURA: And add another guard to the watch.
TRAVIS: Two to Desmond. At all times.
MATT: “Very well. I will do this. Thank you.”
LAURA: Thank you.
ORION: I going to tell Erwen to go and ask forcourt for the lord that can construct and tell him
that we would like to make some changes and havethe cells converted into barracks for our
soldiers.
SAM: That won’t do anything.
ORION: That’s what I do. That’s what Tiberiusdoes.
MATT: Okay. Erwen goes, “All right, sir.” And hewanders off.
ORION: Getting a good reputation does not meanholding prison cells.
MATT: About an hour later Erwen returns and says, “I’msorry. They would not allow me into the central
"district. I do not have the proper papers to passwithin. I mentioned that I worked for you, and
"they told me I was not to enter.”
ORION: Oh, maybe you should have said a differentname.
SAM: They would have known when they got to ourkeep.
ORION: That’s true. (laughs)
LAURA: Shall we head out?
TALIESIN: Yes.
LAURA: Did I learn anything from Seeker Asum?
MATT: Go ahead and roll a d20, adding your wisdommodifier.
LAURA: Ah jeez, really?
LIAM: Come on, Laura.
LAURA: What if I roll like shit?
LIAM: Then it’ll be hilarious. Roll that die. Comeon. Roll high and it will be amazing.
MATT: Make it with advantage, because Asum is avery good teacher.
LAURA: He is. He’s so good.
SAM: He’s awesome.
LAURA: (fake crying) No, that was terrible.
MARISHA: Advantage!
LIAM: You are playing DND right now! All right.
LAURA: Plus my wisdom. 17.
MATT: 17, okay.
LIAM: Is she an emperor now?
MATT: (laughs) Is that how this works? All right,so talking with Asum. He works with you for a bit
and teaches you the ranger ability Skirmisher’sStealth.
SAM: Skirmisher’s Stealth?
MATT: So if you start one of your turns hiddenfrom a creature, you can then, as a bonus action
at the end of your turn, make another stealthcheck to remain hidden from them. You essentially
can dive between areas and still be hidden.
LAURA: While I’m attacking?
LIAM: That’s all ranger stuff?
LAURA: Cool.
LIAM and SAM: (air horn noises)
MATT: So yeah. We’ll go over the details of itafter the game. Essentially, you learn a new
ranger ability from Seeker Asum.
MARISHA: Dope.
LIAM: Wow. I bought some sticks.
MATT: All right.
ORION: At the end of the first day, before all ofthat stuff happens. Sorry, guys, this is
necessary.
TRAVIS: Is it?
LIAM: Everybody shut up and let Grog go on a oneman, solo kill spree.
TRAVIS: It’s bound to happen. He’s going tosecede.
MATT: Tiberius, what do you want to do?
ORION: I’m in my lab the first night and I write aScroll of Telescription to my father. And I go,
dear father, and I tell him about the circumstances with the vampires.
LAURA: Dear diary. Sorry.
ORION: At the end of it I go: I invoke theambassador’s right of war time as of now, and
moreover as your son when I provide concreteevidence, you will know. But in the meantime, I
would have you gather 50 ground troops of theDraconian knights and 50 winged soldiers of the
wyvern fleet. Have them at the ready for mysignal. I know it will take you a few days of
travel to get here, but this is a town of vampiresand possibly liches, which you know need to be
destroyed no matter what. Your son, with love,Tiberius.
MATT: All right.
LAURA: Everyone is aware that Tiberius is thegiant eagles in Lord of the Rings. Tiberius can
invoke ultimate destruction at the call of whateverhe wants.
ORION: I don’t know what’s going on over there.
MATT: All right. As the week comes to a close,eventually a note appears before you, Tiberius,
within your magical room. (fluttering) It reads:“Tiberius, child. I understand your request.
"However, you are fresh to these political mattersand as the young one prone to jump at the sight of
"a shadow, I would need some very heavy proof toinvoke wartime. Which, if I might add, is not your
"jurisdiction, but my own. Should you wish to bringthis to my attention, you are welcome to, but you
"have but one chance before I set aside thisintrusion to my work time as mere poppycock.”
(laughter)
MATT: “Tiberius, I trust that in time you willprove yourself to this family and to this country,
"but for the time being, business matters of thislarger scale are best left to those with
"experience. With love, Kruvanis Stormwind.”
LIAM: (whispers) Send him three more letters.
ORION: Damn it. Have to provide proof to myfucking father. Fine. He didn’t say no, which is
what he always says. Which is a lot better thanwhat he always says.
SAM: I walk into Tiberius’ room while he’s havingthis conversation with himself. And I say, what
are you doing in here?
ORION: I’m talking to myself, Scanlan.
SAM: Oh, okay. All right. I’m going to go get somegarlic from the kitchen, and then let’s go!
LAURA: I write a note. Address it to Uriel, handit to our main butler. Who I know his name.
MATT: Erwen.
LAURA: Erwen. It basically says: Uriel, FYI, wedidn’t totally flee. We’s looking for evidence.
No, we didn’t flee. We’ll be back, how about that?We’ll be back.
MATT: All right. The note is left with Erwen.
LAURA: And I tell him, only give this to anybodyif they come looking for us and they’re angry.
MATT: “Yes, of course. Of course.”
MARISHA: Grog? Do you think I should do the wholeelemental guardian thing?
TRAVIS: Why not?
MARISHA: All right.
ORION: How are you doing, Grog?
TRAVIS: I’m fucking bored.
(laughter)
TRAVIS: I’ve been sitting here for 30 fuckingminutes. I’m bored! Cast an elemental and make it
smash everything around the keep.
MARISHA: Give me that ruby. (ting) I catch it.Water elemental seems appropriate based on our
knowledge, yeah? Water elemental. And PlanarBinding. And I talk to him in my elemental speech,
which I can do.
TALIESIN: And you say? (gargles water duringMarisha’s speech)
MARISHA: And I say, look, we’re going to be gonefor 30 days. We have a visitor here. Make sure
nothing or no one brings him any harm.
(laughter)
MATT: I don’t have a drink.
ORION: That make you thirsty?
TALIESIN: You know, you can speak English, youdon’t have to–
MATT: Yeah. The elemental gives you an acknowledgmentand speaks back in its own tongue the equivalent
of, for my time here, I serve.
MARISHA: Wait, what? I’m sorry.
MATT: “For my time here, I serve” is essentiallythe essence of what you get from him
MARISHA: For my time here, I serve?
MATT: For my time here, I serve. All right.
SAM: Onward.
LIAM: I love doing this show.
(laughter)
SAM: Do we know where we’re going?
TALIESIN: Yeah, I know where we’re going.
LIAM: Percival de Rolo knows where we’re going togo.
TALIESIN: We head to Turst Fields.
MARISHA: Are we riding there by horseback? Is thatwhat we’re doing?
SAM: Do we know where we’re going?
MATT: Well, Percy said the Turst Fields. The TurstFields you do know. Some of you may have passed by
them. They are to the east, northeast area ofWestruun, on the eastern side of the continent.
It’s about four and a half days’ travel horseback.
TRAVIS: What if we purchased a carriage?
ORION: What if we went on airship instead? We haveone at our disposal, do we not?
MARISHA: Well, we had one at our disposal when wewere friends of the city.
LAURA: I think it’s in the Cloudtop District,actually.
LIAM: I think we need to go on the down-low.
MARISHA: Yeah, let’s not tell anybody that we’releaving.
SAM: Carriage. Let’s go. How much do they cost?
MARISHA: Do we need a carriage? We have a stablefull of horses.
LIAM: Rein it in. We’re going to fight vampires.
MATT: You have four horses, and you technicallyhave the teleportation sigil for Westruun.
LAURA: Oh yeah!
ORION: Is Briarwood keep over there?
MATT: Westruun’s most of the way across thecontinent. It’s about a day’s ride out from
Westruun.
MARISHA: So that would shave time?
MATT: It would shave about three days off yourjourney.
LIAM: Matt, I’m pretty sure it’s “si-google.”
TALIESIN: Turst Fields is just northeast ofWestruun.
LAURA: Let’s do it!
LIAM: What’s in those fields?
MATT: The Turst Fields are a farming communitythat takes care of a lot of the eastern side.
They’re not really an extension of Westruun, butit’s one of the closest cities. And they do a lot
of food trade up into Whitestone, or didpreviously.
TALIESIN: It’s where we would make our camp.
MARISHA: Let’s head there and make camp. And maybetalk about a plan.
LIAM: Yes. I think, Percival, you’re leading theway. Use my sister as an advisor, but you’re
leading the way right now.
TALIESIN: I’m going to draw out a crude map whilewe make our way so I can let you all know where
we’re going.
ORION: Well, then join me in my laboratory,everyone.
SAM: All right, yes. We go to Tiberius’slaboratory.
MATT: Okay. Tiberius, you go ahead and castTeleportation Circle.
ORION: Not yet. I go, hey, look at the laboratory,guys. What do you think? Scanlan, it looks like
you’re impressed.
SAM: (dryly) Oh, I’m very impressed.
MATT: Now you cast Circle of Teleportation.
ORION: I use my sigil there. I got it set upthere.
MATT: Yep, and the circle appears. You guys rushthrough it. You do not have your horses with you
because they would not be able to travel throughthe teleportation circle with you. However, you
could probably procure some while you’re inWestruun. In doing that, you guys, for the case of
brevity on this– we’ve been missing that for alot of this session.
LIAM: Let’s do this in real time.
MATT: We’ll say the total gold to purchase horsesfor the whole party–
LAURA: After I haggled. Because let’s be honest, Iwould’ve.
MATT: You would’ve. Go ahead and make a persuasionroll.
TRAVIS: You would’ve.
ORION: Even in real time.
MARISHA: Do it.
LAURA: 21.
MATT: 21? Okay, yeah, would put you at about,we’ll say because you are renowned in this area
and you’ve helped Westruun. Helped them during theWinter’s Crest Festival the year before, using
that discount. You manage to procure everyone’shorses, including your warhorse, for 210 gold,
which is a pretty decent discount.
LAURA: Yes it is. All right.
TALIESIN: Can I share my map?
MATT: You can, yeah.
LAURA: (gasps) You made a map?
SAM: You drew that just now?
TALIESIN: You know I’ve forged all of ourdocuments? You are aware of that, right? Any time
we’ve needed papers.
LAURA: Wait, where is Westruun? Oh, there’sWestruun, that’s where we are right now. So we
have to go– I just spit on your map, Percy. Upthrough the woods, into the mountains. Whitestone
is mountains.
LIAM: You can handle that.
LAURA: Yeah, I can handle both.
TRAVIS: We’re here, and we’ve got to go here.
LAURA: Right.
SAM: Let’s set out.
MATT: You have two paths. You have the path intothe center of the Parchwood Woods that leads up
into the valley of the Alabaster Sierras thatsurround it. That is the direct route to
Whitestone that leads through the main pathway.The forest to the front of the city. There’s also
the Alabaster Sierras themselves, which surroundthat peninsula that extends into the northern part
of the continent. They are very tall, fjord-like,craggy mountain ranges up against the sea along
the edge. They’re a little more treacherous, but alittle more out of the way; a backdoor route. So
you guys choose which route you want to take.
TALIESIN: I would prefer not the direct route.
ORION: Always go in the backdoor.
TALIESIN: Can you say that anything that is notlaced with sexual innuendo?
LAURA: Mountain ranges are part of my favoredterrain. We don’t get disadvantage traveling
through.
TALIESIN: I would prefer taking that direction. Idon’t want to head straight towards them.
LAURA: There probably will be mountain giants,though, remember, that throw boulders and they
will be terrible.
TALIESIN: The Parchwood Forests are dangerous asthey are. There’s really no safe way.
SAM: I trust Percy; whatever you say.
MATT: Percy, you are aware that here have beenproblems in the past with various mountain-faring
giants that lived north of Whitestone thatoccasionally would wander too far south. They
mostly kept to themselves, but occasionally theyhad some crossover, there were some scuffles here
and there. So you guys are deciding to take theAlabaster Sierras?
LAURA: Yes. I want to cast Pass Without a Trace oneveryone.
MATT: You guys head out from Westruun; it takesabout a day’s worth of travel. You stop in the
Turst Fields. It’s a small farming community. Youask around for a bit, most of the folks there say
that they haven’t had much trade or communicationwith Whitestone like they used to. They do still
provide crops and such, but they don’t allowanyone past into the actual forest. They trade at
the boundary created by the forest. Still paygold, but it seems to be more enclosed scenario,
but very few folks there seem to question it.Business as usual is still left within Turst
Fields.
Make your way northward to the bottom of theAlabaster Sierras, and as you begin heading up the
outskirts of this mountain range, you do noticethat the mountains are extremely high in altitude.
There’s a perpetual climb at nearly a 40-degreeangle as you continue upward further and further
and further. The drop-off at the edge of the cliffis 1,000 to 2,000 feet at times, straight down
into the ocean or rocks below. There are pathsworn up here; it has been used as travel before.
Although you’re uncertain as to how recently itmay have been traversed. Occasionally, the wind
picks up and you have to steel yourself, pushyourself against the side. The path, thankfully,
is maybe 15, 20, sometimes 30 feet in width. It’snot too much where you’re being forced against the
edge, but it’s enough to be aware of the danger ofthe circumstance.
You guys are heading up, I’d say, about half aday’s travel, it’s about 2:00 in the afternoon.
Also, you can tell there are slight outcroppings afew hundred feet down to the bottom, a few bits of
stone that jut out from the side. You can seesmall nests or bushes that have taken root on
those side areas. The rock itself of this mountainrange is unusually, unnaturally white. The actual
rock that forms this entire region is almost aglowing quartz-like texture. There are parts that
are almost translucent, there are parts that arevery milky white. Number one, you can now
understand as to partially why the area is calledWhitestone, the town nearby, and you’ve heard
mention from Percy in the past of the largequarries here that mine the stone for various uses
and export it throughout all of Tal'Dorei. That’swhere a large portion of the town was built around
that trade at the beginning of its construction.
Eventually, you come to a point where there is afalloff on the path, where the erosion or some
sort of large impact of the side caused the pathto fall into a scooped crevasse that is a smooth
fall down the side. There is no way across otherthan a large sea salt air-rotted rope bridge that
goes across about a hundred feet. You see itrocking (creaking) with the wind.
TRAVIS: I don’t think this looks very stable.
LAURA: Man, you know what I would give for aflying fucking carpet right now?
SAM: So the bridge is out?
MATT: No, the bridge can be crossed. It looks alittle rickety. It’s not terrible or frightening,
but it’s been there for a while, and you can tellfrom the color of the rope–
SAM: How far is it across?
MATT: A hundred feet.
ORION: Should I go first, everyone?
TALIESIN: I want to inspect it from an engineeringperspective, if that’s possible.
MATT: Go ahead and make an investigation check.
TALIESIN: Ten.
MATT: Okay. Looking at it, I mean, the anchors arepretty solid in the stonework. There’s no
looseness to their element. The rope itself istaut and seems to have serviced long enough. There
are no signs of extreme wear other than just timeand weather.
LIAM: I’m going to walk forward.
LAURA: I’m going to tie the fucking rope aroundyour waist before you do that.
TALIESIN: That’s quite a good idea!
LIAM: Sarenrae, jeepers. I’m going to useperception, I’m going to look at it before going
out. That is a 23.
MATT: All right. Are you taking your horse withyou?
LIAM: I leave my horse with my sister. I’m onfoot; I’m on all fours, really. Spidering out.
MATT: Making your way across, you get halfway across thebridge. There’s a creaking sound and slight
movement as the wind picks up at times and you(creaking).
LIAM: So I’m lasting. What would I make, is it aninsight check to decide if I thought Grog could
make it across this thing?
MATT: Make an intelligence check. Roll and addyour intelligence modifier.
TALIESIN: It’s a ten.
LIAM: Take that zero off it, and you’ve got it.
MATT: Best you can tell, Grog looks like a bigguy.
LIAM: This is fun. You swing back and forth. Grog,I think you might like this!
MARISHA: How far across is the bridge? A hundredfeet?
TALIESIN: Once you’re across, let’s secure therope that’s attached to you, and we’ll make
ourselves a guideline that we can hang onto.
LAURA: I like it.
LIAM: All right, he sounds like a Debbie Downer,Grog, but I’ll go across, and you can follow.
MATT: Okay, you make the rest of your way across.No issue. The rope bridge carries your weight all
the way.
LAURA: Tie a rope. I tie the other side.
LIAM: Is there anything on the other side I couldtie it to?
MATT: There’s a couple of small cliffside treesthat grow off in strange twisting bonsai tree-like
branches that stick off. They’re pretty sturdy.
LIAM: I use a sailor knot.
LAURA: I use a special ranger knot that’s reallyextra strong.
MATT: Secret ranger knot. Well played.
(laughter)
MATT: Who’s up next?
LIAM: I double-knot mine.
SAM: We’ve got to get the horses across.
TRAVIS: No, they ain’t coming.
SAM: They’re not coming? Oh. Well, I justDimension Door across, then.
LIAM: Jeepers! Will you warn a half-elf whenyou’re going to do that?
MATT: Spooks you for a second. You hold onand you make your way across. You guys
are now on the other side. You’re holding ontoeveryone’s horses left behind.
LAURA: Trinket.
TRAVIS: I tie up all the horses to a very largetree.
MARISHA: Are we going by foot now?
LAURA: Looks like it. Tiberius, are you still onour side? Are you with me, still? Will you cast
Fly on Trinket? I love you.
ORION: Sure. To make it across?
LAURA: I can climb on him and you cast Fly and youonly have to use one little spell.
ORION: If I cast it on him, I would probably jump onmyself, because I’m a little bit heavier than you
are, darling.
LAURA: Then do it!
LIAM: She’s haggling you right now.
ORION: You can have him afterwards.
LAURA: Yeah, you can go, and I’ll just use thelittle rope.
ORION: Fine. Proceed.
MATT: You cast Fly on Trinket–
ORION: No, I don’t. I don’t do shit yet. I waitfor you guys to get across, so if something
happens, then I can cast it.
LAURA: Okay, just protect him.
MATT: So you get on Trinket’s back?
LAURA: No, he hasn’t cast it on him yet.
MATT: So who’s going across now?
LAURA: I am!
MATT: Okay, you make it across. No problem. You’relight enough and able to guide the movement of the
bridge.
LAURA: Good thing I only had one frittata theother day!
MARISHA: Here’s my question. What looks shaky, theconnection of the bridge or the actual, physical
condition of the bridge itself?
MATT: The physical condition of the bridge. Thereis no actual visible point that is–
MARISHA: For bonus added safety in case thisbridge gives way, I’m going to cast Grasping Vine
and have it loop and wrap around the edge of thebridge. Further enforce it.
MATT: The vines reach around and wrap around theedges of the wood slats and the rope handholds,
and it seems to be pretty well-held on that side.
TALIESIN: Clever!
MARISHA: At least that side will be fine. And thenI’ll go across.
MATT: Cool, you make it across without a problem.
TRAVIS: Who else needs to go across?
LAURA: Just you and Tiberius and Trinket.
TRAVIS: You want me to go first?
ORION: It’s fine! I hop on Trinket and I petLockheed. And then I hop on Trinket and I cast Fly
on him and say, Remember how to go across. And then as we start flying
across, I cast Telekinesis on Grog and take himwith me. Kind of like Green Lantern.
MARISHA: Concentration spells.
ORION: Yeah. That should be 12 seconds to get acrossa bridge, right?
MATT: Yeah, that would be 12 seconds, which willbe enough time. So as you’re coasting over with
Trinket, floating (bear sounds) you turn aroundand cast Telekinesis. Grog, all of a sudden,
you’re lifted up and held aloft. You look downover yourself, waving your hands instinctually.
Looking down, you can see a 600, 700 foot dropbefore the rock comes to a point which would probably
splinter or crush anyone who fell into it, andthen is pushed out to the ocean. So it’s a little
scary, but you start flailing about as you’rebeing pulled across by Tiberius. Eventually,
Trinket comes, lands on the other side safely. Youguide Grog over, down onto his feet. Safe and
sound.
MARISHA: Who’s left?
SAM: No one. The horses.
LAURA: Oh yeah, what do you want to do with thehorses?
TRAVIS: We tied them up.
ORION: I’m going to dispel the Fly. But I’m goingto hold the Telekinesis for the ten minutes I can
on Grog. I’m not going to do anything, I’m justgoing to keep that spell going.
MATT: Okay. Cool. All righty.
SAM: I say a prayer of thanks to the horses, whowill surely die of starvation.
LAURA: They were tied up in a super grassy areawith a shit-ton of water around.
LIAM: They’ll be eaten by something long beforethat. It’s fine.
MARISHA: So what’s our plan? What are we doing?
SAM: The plan is walk until we get there.
MATT: The path pinches a little bit tighter as yougo across, about a ten foot width and you guys
begin pulling across. There’s a sudden large gustof sea air blows in as you guys go ahead and
buckle down to hold on. I’d like you all to rollan athletics check.
LAURA: Are we in mountains yet? So I haveadvantage?
MATT: You have advantage on it.
TRAVIS: Me too, because mountains are myfavorite–
MATT: That’s true, yeah!
LAURA: What is this, acrobatics?
SAM and LAURA: Athletics.
SAM: Nine.
ORION. 18.
MARISHA: 19.
TALIESIN: Ten.
LAURA: 11.
TRAVIS: 23.
MATT: All right, as you guys are holding tight,both Scanlan and Vax are trying to grab something,
holding onto rocks, but before they can getenough, they’re both so small, it pushes them
out.
ORION: How much time has passed?
MATT: It’s three seconds. Oh! Passed since thebridge? About five, six minutes.
ORION: Can I try to catch them because I stillhave the Telekinesis going?
MATT: You can catch one of them.
ORION: (yelling) Why, Matthew?!
MATT: Because the spell has to be directed!
MARISHA: Are they flying off a cliff?
MATT: They’re both being dragged by the wind offthe side of the cliff. You can see them grabbing
the ground. Vax is being pulled off the side asScanlan is actually lifted off his feet.
ORION: I know Vax can’t. I grab Vax!
LIAM: Tell my sister I love her!
TRAVIS: I jump and try and grab Vex.
LAURA: Vax. You want to hold me?
LIAM: I’m Vox.
ORION: Wait, you’re grabbing him?
LAURA: I’m Vex.
TRAVIS: That’s what I said!
MATT: You grab Vax and hold him in place as youreach out and grab Vax by the arms and pull him
back onto–
LIAM: Wait, who?
ORION: You!
LIAM: Oh, he grabs me!
TRAVIS: I grab her.
LAURA: Grog grabbed me.
MATT: You were fine.
LAURA: I know. But he still said he’d grabbed me.
MATT: Okay. Then you’re being held aloft byTiberius’ Telekinesis concentrating. Scanlan has
fallen out of view.
MARISHA: I Grasping Vine him before he goes out ofview.
MATT: Okay. It’s all right.
MARISHA: Off the side of the cliff.
MATT: Go ahead and make an attack roll with yourGrasping Vine.
ORION: I can manipulate a thousand pounds.
LIAM: You’ve got me.
MARISHA: What?!
MATT: This is to aim the vine as he falls.
MARISHA: 19.
MATT: 19? Not a problem! The vine grabs Scanlanand pulls him back and holds him as the wind
slowly dies down.
ORION: I guide Vax back to the cliff.
MATT: The wind dies down. You guys now beginpushing yourselves close to the edge of this
pathway up the side of this seaside cliff. Itdoesn’t seem to deviate much beyond that 15-foot
width now, which puts you all at general unease.As the sun’s getting closer and closer to setting,
you’re making your way around the crest. You’vebeen traveling this mountain range for a good
number of hours now. You’re at a decent height,you’re on foot, a good distance inside the
Alabaster Sierra mountain range. Perception check,everyone.
TALIESIN: Yeah!
TRAVIS: Five.
SAM: Four.
MATT: Three, two, one.
MARISHA: 25.
TALIESIN: 26.
LIAM: 29.
LAURA: 25.
ORION: I rolled a natural one, with negative two.
MATT: Okay! Those of you with a higher perceptionthan 20 on this roll. As you pull along, you hear
this echoing sound, this (bird-like sounds) in thedistance, the wind’s carrying it as it’s blowing
past you.
MARISHA: Does it sounds like anythingnature-based? Something I could possibly have
talked to in the past?
TALIESIN: Is it something I would know?
MATT: Go ahead and make an intelligence check. Yougo ahead and make a nature check.
TALIESIN: 21.
MARISHA: 25.
MATT: It is birdish in nature, but it sounds tooguttural and too articulate to be a bird. There is
enough of– you notice there’s a language of thechittering that is bird-like, but there is actual
voice. You recall that there are various creaturesthat make the cliffsides home. One of the ones
that are more obnoxious that some of the earliertraders of Whitestone had problems with making
this path for mining were clusters of harpies.
MARISHA: Oh, fucking harpies.
TALIESIN and ORION: Harpies.
ORION: They’re the opposite of the Harpers, whichare good.
TRAVIS: What’s a harpy?
ORION: A harpy’s a jerk, a stupid butthole who’ssuper loud.
MATT: You glance over as you guys are having thisconversation. Behind you, you can see in the
distance from where you were, a couple of thesedark shapes swooping down. You see a cluster of
about four or five of these harpies diving.
TALIESIN: Can we find a place to maybe settledown?
LAURA: Can we stealth? I cast Pass Without a Traceon us!
SAM: Don’t worry! I can make us all look like cowsagain!
MARISHA: (shushes) Everyone be quiet!
MATT How long is the concentration on Pass Withouta Trace? How long can you hold that
concentration?
LAURA: Up to one hour.
MATT: Okay. It has faded since then.
MARISHA: Where are we against the mountain? Are westill on the mountain edge?
MATT: Yeah, you’re still on the path, and you lookback from where you came from.
MARISHA: So we have a mountain behind our backs?
MATT: Yeah, a sheer cliff.
MARISHA: I turn around and I cast Move Earth, my6th-level fucker. And I (boof) and I clear out a
cave.
MATT: Okay. As you’re concentrating on this,eventually, Keyleth begins to focus, and over the
next minute or so, she begins to push a cavern.
LAURA: I cast Pass Without a Trace on us now.
MATT: Okay. As this is happening, you can see theharpies have definitely found some sort of prey.
They’re distracted as they’re slowly tearing apartwhat you gather are the horses you left behind.
LAURA: Oh no! Terrible!
MATT: Yeah. Good news is, they’re distracted.
MARISHA: Horses saved our lives, guys.
MATT: Bad news is they’re probably not goingto be there when you come back.
TALIESIN: It’s getting dark. I think we shouldcamp.
LIAM: So you’re saying there’s a chance.
MATT: Over the next few minutes or so, Keyleth,you’ve pushed a good ten by 15-foot cavern into
the side of this wall that didn’t previouslyexist. You guys are able to step out of the light
as the sun’s starting to disappear over themountain range, the Cliffkeep, which you can see
in the distance across this channel now. There’s achannel of water between the two.
MARISHA: I go ahead and Druidcraft a littlecampfire. Tiberius, you want to light a fire for
us?
LAURA: I’m going to use Hide in Plain Sight. I’mgoing to see if I can do this. That sort of
ability to camouflage the opening of the cave towhere they wouldn’t be able to see it.
MATT: Sure! Go ahead and make a stealth check.
LAURA: 28.
MATT: Okay! You take the next 15 minutes or so,finding what nearby pieces of brush you can and rocks
that have been loosely around the area and youstart setting up this pattern of them that closes
off some of the entrance from the smoothopening that Keyleth had created. It takes a
little ingenuity because it’s just a rock opening,and there isn’t a whole lot of brush and things
around. But you feel you’ve managed to mask it tothe point that to a distant eye it would be hard
to see that there is an actual cavern there. Atthis point, the sun has set, night has come in,
and you guys are sitting within this cavernhearing the distant sound of the ocean waves
crashing against the bottom of these cliffside,coastal fjords.
MARISHA: Me and Tiberius made a fire.
MATT: All right, a fire is made.
ORION: I lit it with my spitting.
MATT: Okay. Tiberius forms a relatively useful andeffective campfire within this cave.
LAURA: Oh! I want to use my holy oil and dip acouple arrows in the holy oil because I know I can
make three based on what we’ve done before.
MATT: You can, yes. Do be aware, the holy oil willonly last about a day.
LAURA: Oh, really? Oh, so I’ll do that rightbefore.
MATT: It’s one of those things where if you dip itnow and leave it, over time it’ll just either
evaporate or drip off of the arrow.
LAURA: Good to know.
LIAM: While my sister’s looking at her shit, Ibogart Trinket and climb up onto him, use him like a
sleeping bag and cuddle into his softest warmparts and fall asleep.
MATT: (bear groaning) Trinket, at first, justhaplessly pushes you away, but recognizes your
scent and lets you.
LAURA: You ganked my sleeping bag.
LIAM: Sorry, not sorry.
ORION: I find a little patch of dust and do alittle dust bath real quick and then I’m going to
use one of my books of stuffs and startresearching liches just because I want to.
MATT: Okay. I mean, what book would you beresearching this in?
ORION: Tobin’s Spirit Guide?
MATT: The researcher ability is that you can go toplaces of research and find books. You don’t
really keep a tome of all knowledge with you. Thenext time you find a town or you’re in town, then you
can use that ability to research in advance.
LAURA: I ask Grog how he’s doing.
TRAVIS: I’m bored as shit.
LAURA: You want to arm wrestle?
TRAVIS: No.
LAURA: All right.
SAM: Come on, do it, Grog! Come on, you can’t beata girl?
MATT: Do you guys all rest for the evening?
LAURA and LIAM: Yeah.
LAURA: But we should take watch.
TALIESIN: I’m still awake. I’m going to fallasleep last.
MARISHA: I also stay up with Percy.
MATT: Okay.
SAM: I’ll take first watch.
LAURA: Wake me up when you’re tired.
ORION: I’m gonna feed Lockheed some treats.
MATT: Okay. You guys continue your business forthe evening.
MARISHA: I talk to Percy for a second. Percy,while we’re alone for a moment, there’s something
that’s been bothering me, and I can’t get it outof my head. I thought I’d talk to you about it
because I feel– we’re friends, right? We’refriends? Are we friends?
TALIESIN: Sure! I’d like to think so, yes.
MARISHA: Been through a lot, been together awhile.
TALIESIN: It’s been a while, yes.
MARISHA: Two years now?
TALIESIN: I suppose.
SAM: I go invisible to see if I can hear theirconversation.
MATT: Okay. Go ahead and make a perception check.
SAM: Perception or stealth? 20.
MATT: Okay. You are keeping relatively low and areable to overhear their conversation.
MARISHA: You know, you’re a very brilliantperson.
TALIESIN: Thank you.
MARISHA: I can’t help but feel like I’m beingwatched right now. Never mind, forget I said
anything. I can’t help but feel like there’ssomething else, there’s something more to this
that you’re not telling us. And I didn’t reallythink of anything until we were having that fight
where Tiberius brutally murdered that old woman.
TALIESIN: Been trying not to think about it.
MARISHA: Yeah, me too. But the one thing that Ican’t get out of my head was something that you
said during that fight. And for a long time I waslike, damn, Percy’s got really cool one-liners and
he’s so smart, and I wish I could have coolone-liners. You and Grog have really cool
one-liners. And then you said “your soul is nowforfeit” to the person you shot that night. And I
thought, wow! That was an interesting one-liner.
TALIESIN: I did say that, didn’t I?
MARISHA: Yeah! Yeah, you did. For some reason, Iwas the only one who noticed it, and I don’t know
if that’s because I’m just reading into things, ifthat was just a really awesome, but scary and
brutal thing to say in the moment, or if there’ssomething deeper that you might be serving.
TALIESIN: Honestly, I’ll say, I’ve had a number ofyears thinking about what I would do and what I
would say and how I would go about this. This kindof obsession is not healthy, and I know that, and
it’s no way to live. And I’m sure that wassomething on the list of things I thought I would
say, some attempt to be scary when I met them, asopposed to being scared, I think I was– (sighs)
again, I don’t really remember much because I wasso angry. I’ve never been so angry. And I think I
was just trying to sound threatening. And I’d hadthese dreams before, you know I’ve– you don’t build
anything like this without the knowledge thatyou’re– I’m aware that inventing this thing has
been a mistake.
MARISHA: What thing?
TALIESIN: I pull out my gun.
MARISHA: Wait, what are you saying? You hadknowledge? You didn’t build that without
inspiration? What do you mean?
TALIESIN: I’ve had thoughts about it, but I didn’treally think about what I was doing or what I was
going to build until I decided to take my revenge,and I’d never thought about building it because I
realized what a dangerous idea it was. (sighs) AndI fear for the day that that comes back to haunt
me. I don’t know what I’ll do, but I don’t know, Ithink I was just trying to say something to be
intimidating. I honestly didn’t even think I wasgoing to kill him, it just happened.
MARISHA: Can I see if he’s lying to me?
MATT: Go ahead and make an insight check.
MARISHA: 17.
MATT: 17. Roll a d20.
TALIESIN: Is your insight really that good?
MARISHA: Yeah, I’m wise as fuck!
MATT: And add your charisma modifier.
TALIESIN: Add my charisma modifier? 18.
MATT: Best you can tell, he’s seeming honest, andsharing open-hearted to you. You feel like you’ve
really gotten to the core truth of what Percy’sabout.
MARISHA: What? What did you say?
MATT: You feel like you’ve gotten to the core andtruth of what Percy’s about, and perhaps your
questioning this has upset him, and you feel likemaybe you’ve pushed this a little too far.
TALIESIN: I do regret what happened and I know hewas a bad man, but I still hope to never lose my
temper like that again.
LIAM: Got to roleplay that shit. He convincedyou.
MARISHA: I still really feel like we’re beingwatched. Do you feel that? I don’t know.
TALIESIN: Honestly, I think we both need sleep.
MARISHA: It’s really distracting. Yeah. Well, Ilove you.
TALIESIN: I love you, too.
MARISHA: We’re in this with you until this end.
TALIESIN: Thank you.
MARISHA: Let’s sleep.
MATT: Okay. You guys, through your turns, theevening goes by uneventful. Morning comes to you.
You can hear the distant caws of seagulls wakingyou up as the heat from the morning sun begins to
eventually hit this side of the cave. Since you’reon this side of the mountain, by the time you wake
up, you realize the hour’s probably a little bitpast noon.
LAURA: Oh shit.
MARISHA: We overslept!
ORION: It’s so dark in here, because of the cavething.
MARISHA: Okay, so wait. Percy, how much furtherout are we from Whitestone?
MATT: You gather you probably have about a day’sworth of travel, and you’ll be able to make your
way down into the ravine from here. You’ve come upquite a bit of the mountain range.
TALIESIN: Probably another day before we can campclose enough to attack.
SAM: Let’s get going.
LAURA: Should we stealth through the mountains,just in case they have any kind of lookouts?
ORION: Oh, they will have lookouts.
LAURA: I cast Pass Without a Trace on us again.
LIAM: Let’s go slower.
LAURA: Should we all stealth? Try at least?
LIAM: Yes.
TALIESIN: Let’s keep stealthy.
MATT: Okay. You guys gather outside of the cavernand head up, continuing along this path.
Eventually, you do notice that the path becomesbroken and too steep to continue. It actually
falls and tumbles down into this long, slidingravine. There is a slight rockslide trail that
you could climb up and over and it looks likethere is a separate ravine, or a separation where
the two mountains join, that could possibly betraversed. But continuing on the seaside path is
not going to work. It does bring you inwardtowards– maybe a little further south than you
would have wanted to for optimal backdoor entranceinto Whitestone, but it’s about your only path.
TALIESIN: Have I walked this path before? I neverwalked this path at all.
MATT: You would have had no reason to walk thispath. You’ve heard about it, you know of this side
of the mountain range, but based on your history,there’s no reason you would have come here.
ORION: Whatever it takes to get to that backdoor.
MATT: Everyone make a stealth check, by the way.Just so we’re aware of what your stealth rolls are
with the Pass Without a Trace.
LAURA: Add ten to it.
LIAM: You get ten? Oh. Well, I got a 40, then.
MATT: Okay.
SAM: 27
MATT: 27.
ORION: Nine.
MATT: With the ten?
ORION: Oh, 19.
MARISHA: 32.
TALIESIN: 32.
TRAVIS: 27.
LAURA: 37.
MATT: That’s a pretty good spread. So you guys,you’ve hit the edge of the path. Are you heading
up the rockslide trail?
LAURA: Yes.
MATT: Okay. You all, one by one, begin to climbover the trail and some rocks tumble loose beneath
your feet, grasp. And you help each other get tothe very top.
ORION: I use my Mage Hand to help.
MATT: (laughs) That’s adorable.
(laughter)
LAURA: As he looks at the clock! “That’sadorable.”
MATT: So you all eventually manage to make it overthe top of the rockslide trail and eventually it
leads you to where these two large mountains cometogether, and there is a small path that leads
between. It winds and travels downward. You cansee bits of the rock have fallen and crumbled, and
there are small boulders and such that just, overtime and through erosion, have tumbled down this
ravine to start filling it with occasional chunksof stone. You begin walking through this ravine
for another good 45 minutes to an hour, keeping akeen eye out.
ORION: Is this the same ravine that we’retravelling across?
MATT: Basically, you guys have been traveling upthe side of the coast. You’ve now turned inward
over the mountain range to head down into thevalley of Whitestone. You are currently just now
heading up through the mountain range, inwardstowards the mountain.
TALIESIN: Is this the river?
MATT: There’s no river here. It’s just stone thatcomes together for a pathway in between. This is
where two large peaks of the mountains basicallycome to join at the bottom.
TALIESIN: Okay, so we’re not at the river.
MATT: No, the river is actually inside the valleyand to the south of Whitestone. So pressing down I
would like you all to roll a perception check.
LAURA: Jesus.
MARISHA: Ah, that’s all right.
SAM: One!
LAURA: Natural 20!
LIAM: Natural 20!
LIAM: Yeah!
MATT: One, one, 20, 20.
ORION: 16.
MARISHA: 14.
TALIESIN: 16.
MATT: Okay. As all of you guys are chargingforward, both Vex and Vax, you hear this slight
noise of a couple rocks (clattering) in the ravinebehind you. You both turn and look and for a split
second you swear you see between some of the rocksand paths of jagged stone that mark the walls of
this ravine, you see a quick blur of blue thatvanishes behind a higher platform above you.
LIAM: Smurfs!
LAURA: A blur of blue?
MATT: A large blur of blue just disappears behindone of the outcroppings that’s blocking your view
of higher up the ravine.
LAURA: (shushes) Down. Hide.
ORION: I cast Stoneskin.
MATT: Okay.
LIAM: Stealth.
ORION: I fasten my Cloak of Displacement.
LAURA: And I prepare–
MATT: You guys prepare for a second, and as you’reall paying attention, you guys also see another
shift of blue (whoosh) go across the way. And thistime you see it’s something large and blue that
moves across the stone and goes into a smallcavern that looks about 25 feet up the way that’s
just past your visual range from this low in theravine.
LAURA: Do we have any visual on what it could be?
MATT: It moved very quickly, and for a splitsecond, you could see it appeared to be– the way
it moved was almost serpentine, like (whoosh) andvanished inside. You swear you saw limbs, though.
It wasn’t a giant snake. There was somethingattached to it.
LAURA: (whispering) Wyvern? I look at Keyleth.Keyleth. (louder) And I whisper, but for sake of
microphones, do you know of a creature that’sblue, and fast, and is kind of snakey but has arms
and legs?
MARISHA: Let me think about it for a second. Do Iknow a creature that’s blue and snakey?
LIAM: It sounds like basilisks, but they’re tooslow.
MATT: What did you roll?
MARISHA: I don’t know. Ooh, that’s 24.
MATT: 24. You’ve heard of various lizard-likecreatures that grow to large sizes. Usually those
fall into the realm of dragons and such. The colorblue, though, is uncommon, unless it were a blue
dragon. However, the motion of this creature doesnot seem to necessarily be the territory of a blue
dragon. It’s hard to point exactly what this is, but you do know it’s probably something in the
serpentine-type magical realm.
TALIESIN: I heard them, I heard them describe it.Would I know it from the description? Just from my
local knowledge?
MATT: Go ahead and make a history check.
MARISHA: The blue thing’s weird. The blue thing iswhat’s throwing me.
TALIESIN: Nine.
MATT: Nine. Unfortunately, nothing of this typehas come across you. If it has, it’s been too
long, and you’ve forgotten it. There are a numberof dangerous things that exist in these
mountains.
LAURA: I’ve got a really good idea. Wait. No!Grog, pick up something really heavy, and throw it
as far as you can.
TRAVIS: I go over and I grab Scanlan–
SAM: No!
LAURA: A boulder or something.
TRAVIS: I put Scanlan down. Find a large rockthat’s tumbled down, maybe.
MATT: Yeah, they’re easy to find. There’s likesome that are this big, some that are larger.
They’re really heavy.
TRAVIS: And I discus the thing and (whoosh).
MATT: Make an athletics check.
TRAVIS: Well, that was great. 24.
MATT: (whoosh) You release the rock. (impact) Itskids to a halt. As it does, you can see suddenly
over the course (whoosh) something very quicklymove, and it’s a head. It’s a snout. You see it’s
probably a good six, seven-foot wide. A giant,lizard-like, toothy jaw. Blue scales against it
with large kind of horned ridges across the backof its head. And its claws (clacking) on the edge.
Looks down. Looks down at the rest of you. Rearsback.
LAURA: It saw us?
LIAM: Didn’t see me.
ORION: Well, of course it saw us.
LAURA: With 37 stealth, yo. It saw us?
MARISHA: But it didn’t seem to give a shit?
MATT: It just withdrew over the edge.
SAM: Should we run?
LAURA: Maybe just move really fast away from him
MARISHA: I can, I can cast Anti-Life Shell on us.Then we can haul ass really fast.
SAM: Will it move with us, your shell?
MARISHA: Yeah, as long as you stay close to me. Itmoves with me.
LIAM: Yeah, fuck this thing. Let’s get out ofhere.
MARISHA: Okay! I cast Anti-Life Shell. Stayclose!
MATT: Okay. As you begin casting and finish thespell. As the sphere appears– at which point you
now see a large blue blur (whoosh) dart off of thecliffside into the air (impact noise) and skidding
right in front of you guys, blocking off the sideof the ravine you guys were running towards. You
can now see it: a huge, elongated, serpentine bodycovered in blue scales and horns. You can see what
looks to be six to eight arms and a series of legsall across its long, snakelike torso. As it looks
it snarls at you all (snarls). And you see sparksof energy, electricity (sparking noises) in its
jaw. (growls, roars)
LIAM: Salamander?
MATT: And that’s where we’re going it endtonight!
(yelling)
LAURA: Oh, jeez Louise!
SAM: You can’t do that!
MATT: I can, because it’s 10:30.
LIAM: No, it’s not. It’s like 8:45.
MATT: We can keep going if you guys want to staylong. It’s Thursday night.
ZAC: I’m coming to you with my laptop before youcontinue.
LIAM: Who’s that guy?
MATT: But to give you a little perspective, thatis what essentially you’d be facing.
(loud reactions)
LAURA: What the fuck? It’s got so many arms.
LIAM: That’s a kobold.
MATT: Yeah, totally. Kobold.
[end of transcript]
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