Fantasies | Psychology Today Singapore

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Fiction, Daydreams, Visualization

Reviewed by Psychology Today Staff

Fantasies are imaginary, daydream-like scenarios that individuals play out in their heads. Whether conscious or unconscious, fantasies serve several psychological purposes and are a normal part of most people’s interior world.

Contents

• The Role of Fantasies
• Different Types of Fantasies
• Understanding Sexual Fantasies

Why People Have Fantasies

Indulging in fantasies may seem like a waste of time, but they are far from frivolous. Most fantasies serve a specific purpose: They can be entertaining, distracting, frightening, or, in the case of sexual fantasies, arousing. Fantasizing about specific goals can foster creativity, help someone better understand their wants and needs, and even enable them to plan for the future.

When people attempt to turn their fantasies (especially their sexual fantasies) into reality, it’s critical that everyone involved consent to the activity. Other than that, however, most fantasies remain just that—fantasies. Left unspoken, they cannot harm others just by existing in someone’s mind.

Why do I daydream so much? Created with Sketch.

Daydreaming is generally considered a universal experience, but some minds naturally wander more than others. Some research suggests that those who report more frequent daydreams are more creative or more easily distractible than those who report fewer fantasies.

Is daydreaming good for me? Created with Sketch.

Generally, yes. Daydreaming is associated with greater creativity in children and heightened productivity in adults, and has been shown to help individuals solve complex problems. In some cases, however, people report that their daydreams are derailing or frustrating.

Can fantasies be dangerous? Created with Sketch.

In certain mental health disorders, such as delusional disorder and schizophrenia, fantasies can be mistaken for reality and trigger paranoia or dangerous behavior. Even in cases in which the individual knows their fantasies aren’t real, they can still become intrusive and cause an individual significant distress.

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Understanding Different Kinds of Fantasies

Everyone daydreams occasionally and covers a wide range of imagined topics. Some prefer to fantasize about their past (“I would have won that argument if I had just said this”) or potential paths for the future (“What if he felt about me like I do about him?”). Others daydream about things that are purely fantastical, like developing superpowers or traveling through time.

Though it’s not always clear what specific purpose different types of fantasies serve, some researchers hypothesize that more realistic fantasies—that is, fantasizing about things that could actually happen in the near future—may be the most productive.

Are my fantasies normal? Created with Sketch.

In most cases, yes. It’s common for anyone with surprising or seemingly extreme fantasies—particularly those that are sexual in nature— to wonder whether such fantasies are “normal.” But while some are indeed unique, most “unusual” fantasies are actually fairly common; even if they aren’t, they are most likely harmless.

When does a “normal” fantasy become unhealthy? Created with Sketch.

It’s possible to become so preoccupied with a fantasy—or the question of whether it's indicative of a pathology—that it interferes with daily life or causes significant mental distress. Repetitive thoughts or fantasies may also be indicative of obsessive-compulsive disorder.

I can’t stop obsessing about a particular imaginary scenario. What should I do? Created with Sketch.

Repetitive, intrusive fantasies—particularly those depicting violence or taboo sex acts—can start to feel frightening or out of an individual’s control. Seeking the help of a therapist or other medical professional can be helpful.

Why We Fantasize About Sex

The human mind is sexual, creative, and exploratory, and fantasizing is one way people satisfy their sexual needs and wants. As a result, most people experience a range of enticing, disturbing, or challenging sexual fantasies. Sexual fantasies are normal for most adults regardless of gender, age, or relationship status. Research shows that even a majority of asexual people fantasize about sex.

Having a sexual fantasy does not always, or even usually, mean that someone is planning to, or destined to, pursue it in real life. It should not be alarming, for example, for a lesbian to fantasize about sex with a man, or for a dedicated monogamous partner to dream of group sex. Sexually fantasizing about somebody else while having sex isn’t unusual either, and in most cases, isn’t detrimental to a relationship.

Why do I have sexual fantasies? Created with Sketch.

Sexual fantasies are typically used to promote arousal. But they can serve other purposes in someone’s sex life. Research suggests that they can boost confidence, help someone plan for a future sexual encounter, or provide an escape for those who find their real-life sexual experiences unsatisfying.

What do my sexual fantasies mean? Created with Sketch.

It’s not always possible to state for certain what individual sexual fantasies might mean, but some fantasies have been shown to be associated with certain non-sexual desires, past experiences, and personality traits. Fantasizing about group sex, for example, has been linked to a desire to feel competent and irresistible.

What are the most common sexual fantasies? Created with Sketch.

Research suggests that the most common sexual fantasies include group sex, rough sex/BDSM, taboo activities like sex in public, romanticism, and gender-bending sex.

Should I share my fantasy with my romantic partner? Created with Sketch.

Sharing a sexual fantasy with a trusted partner can be empowering and typically strengthens a sexual and/or romantic bond. In some cases, however, a partner may be judgmental of the fantasy, particularly if it involves taboo subjects.

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Artificial intelligence (AI) feels like the perfect listener, but therapy shows us why real relationships require tolerating limits. To use AI wisely, we must balance fantasy with reality.

Artificial intelligence (AI) feels like the perfect listener, but therapy shows us why real relationships require tolerating limits. To use AI wisely, we must balance fantasy with reality.

Do Hookup-App Users Actually Have More Sex?

App users have more partners, but not more sex.

App users have more partners, but not more sex.

Cautionary Tales as Inoculation

Future-gazing fiction alerts us to disasters that otherwise might feel too close for comfort.

Future-gazing fiction alerts us to disasters that otherwise might feel too close for comfort.

Are Men Who Play With Adult Sex Dolls Mentally Healthy?

Many people call men who own adult-looking sex dolls mentally ill and prone to sex crimes. A new study says they're normal and just like other men—except for one thing.

Many people call men who own adult-looking sex dolls mentally ill and prone to sex crimes. A new study says they're normal and just like other men—except for one thing.

Awakening the Four Energies of Lasting Intimacy

What if intimacy wasn’t something you achieve, but something you continuously explore?

What if intimacy wasn’t something you achieve, but something you continuously explore?

Several Sedative Drugs May Give You Sexual Fantasies

Health care professionals should inform their patients that sexual hallucinations can occur and take necessary precautions.

Health care professionals should inform their patients that sexual hallucinations can occur and take necessary precautions.

The Dangers of Magical Thinking

However arbitrarily, we often believe that our knowledge of how life operates offers us power over it—that we can defend ourselves against any adversity that might arise.

However arbitrarily, we often believe that our knowledge of how life operates offers us power over it—that we can defend ourselves against any adversity that might arise.

4 Ways Satisfied Couples Keep Their Passion Alive

4. They don't get hung up on how often they have sex.

4. They don't get hung up on how often they have sex.

Online Age Play or Child Predation?

Distinguishing between role play and reality can be especially challenging online, but it's crucial for kinksters exploring age play.

Distinguishing between role play and reality can be especially challenging online, but it's crucial for kinksters exploring age play.

Sexual Desire: Therapy's Dirty Little Secret

Therapists know a few things about desire—mostly, what diminishes it. We also know the experience of desire changes as we age. But there's a lot about desire we don't understand.

Therapists know a few things about desire—mostly, what diminishes it. We also know the experience of desire changes as we age. But there's a lot about desire we don't understand.

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