Five Steps To Becoming A Better Housewife - The Darling Academy

Many people mock those “perfect housewives” guides from the 1950’s, but I do believe there is wisdom in having a few guidelines and parameters to help shape our calling as housewives.

However, as many know, at The Darling Academy, we are more about the heart and the motivation behind our lifestyle and the way we conduct ourselves than specific “tasks”.

Knowing the heart position required, and the motivation of why you should endeavour to become a better housewife is what I’d like to share with you today.

How to be a better housewife.

The way a lady approaches her own personal career as a homemaker looks different for many people. It’s no use me telling you, as a mother of one in a suburban house, how my morning routine or home-education journey works, and then expect you to follow suit - especially if you have six children, another on the way, and a gaggle of farm animals to take care of too. However I can more than help you with your personal approach to your role as a housewife.

You see, if we set aside the manual labour, tasks, routines, and challenges of the housewife - what we really haven’t been taught in recent years, is to be proud of what we do. The very essence of what makes a great housewife is her love for the job itself, because she can clearly see the benefits of the hours of input.

In order to become a better housewife, you may need to cultivate your skills, yes, but we must prepare the ground before we plant our seeds for harvest. If the soil isn’t fertile, then the crop will fail. Our media exposure over the past few decades has only shown women who find housework boring/stressful/suffocating - delete as appropriate. This is not the truth of the matter at all, there are millions of housewives the world over who are more than satisfied with their lives, and know that this vocation is their “true calling”.

I am proud to be a housewife, and you should be too!

I wonder if our desire to be a “perfect” housewife (and to be seen as such) is to prove something to a world that doesn’t value what we do. There truly is no need to seek perfection - once your heart and confidence is in the right place, the rest, will fall into place. Your homemaking will just become better, effortless, joyful, and above all, fruitful.

Once you throw away the idea of trying to prove yourself as “the perfect housewife”, your homemaking will become effortless, joyful, and above all, fruitful!

Often I am asked if my life as a housewife is dull, but in all honesty, there is never a dull moment. There is always something to do, and best of all, I get to do it in my time. What is dull about a life lived to please and provide comfort to yourself and your family? I’m even free to write now, something I was never able to do in my 9-5, as I was just too exhausted. I know of other housewives who have taken up creative hobbies, some even bringing in extra income!

Let’s do some heart work, shall we?

Release yourself from the cultural expectations “to work”.

Modern culture as it stands in 2021, just does not understand how being a housewife can itself be work, or fulfilling, liberating, and above all - fun. It’s a sorry state of affairs that the most important work any wife and mother can do for her family in-home is mocked, yet the work she does when she leaves that nest is considered “empowering”, and should be celebrated.

I truly believe that many women are caught between their inner desire to be a housewife, and their desire, not to mention the expectation placed upon them, to please other people, and to fit in with what “the world” is doing. What I mean by “the world” is all those people, close to you or not, who question your choices and overlook you because of them.

The very first step in becoming a better housewife is to shed yourself of any cultural or modern expectations placed upon you as a 21st century woman, and embolden yourself to do exactly what you feel called to do as a housewife and mother. If you have your husband on-side, then why on earth should anyone’s opinion (yes, even your Mother’s) matter? When you set up home with your husband and started a family, you created a new life, one to be lived according to what makes your nuclear family happy, not one according to what you are “told” you should be doing.

If we constantly live according to other people’s expectations, are we ever truly capable adults, or free thinkers?

It is your duty as a wife and a mother to do your best by your husband and children, and if homemaking is your calling - then my darling, do it with pride! Rare is it, that a woman truly knows what she wants to do with her life. You are lucky in that way, because if you love what you do, then you shall never “work” another day in your life. Can your working sisters say the same?

Realise this is what you signed up for, and commit to it.

We often hear that housewives of yesteryear complained of boredom - yet, they were the ones who backed themselves into a corner of just scraping by, complaining about “their lot”, or not doing very much! Were the housewives of that era actually dissatisfied because they were non-committal and couldn’t see the blessings of what they already had?

If something had “always been that way”, then of course you’d wonder what else is out there for you, but now we know what that else is, is it actually better? Women of the past, and women who chase everything want more, but honestly more than likely end up stressed, and with less. More money and opportunity perhaps, but less time to themselves, and, dare I say it, less respect for their “second shift” at home. The proof is in the pudding. There is no longer any respect for homemaking on a global scale! The career woman has won the popularity contest, but what has she sacrificed for it? Sacrifice and commitment must be made for whichever choice you make, but you can only truly commit to one.

Why would you want two jobs out of choice? That’s not empowerment, that’s walking into bondage - and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. To put it simply ladies, we cannot have it all. A side must be picked, and a choice must be made, else we’ll end up making ourselves ill. Something has got to give - thankfully as housewives by choice, our homes don’t have to be to the side that suffers, but you must remain committed to it, in order for it to be worth your while.

Put as much energy and passion, if not more, into your role as a homemaker as your contemporaries who work outside the home do in their jobs. You’ll walk away with so much more than just a payslip to show for it.

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