Fly Symbolism, Dreams, And Messages - Spirit Animal Totems

I just had a fly legit buzz up into my nose. It’s been attempting this feat for days whenever I try to communicate telepathically with my Twin Flame via a photograph while listening to our song – but it succeeded about 20 minutes ago (I had a very powerful/intense “meditation”/”commune” with my TF) and I can feel it at the point where the top of my nostril meets my cartilidge and it’s freaking me out hardcore. It no longer seems to feel “alive”, but I tried to blow it out and it’s lodged up there.

In related news, I received a direct/very specific message from my best childhood friend who passed away when we were still kids yesterday morning, and my cat – who just only turned 3 – had a mini-seizure a week ago and hasn’t been able to stop walking in circles and wailing sporadically (I’ve taken her to the vet several times/have her on medication, etc…)

I also have been enduring “triple”/3 nights in a row, 3x a night bouts of triple sleep paralysis for the first time since early childhood again. This first occured last November, and most recently last week after my cat freaked out. The last one I recall happened when I was in a semi-lucid meditative state holding a phantom quartz. I had no music on (I usually sleep and/or meditate to various binaural beats…), but I entered this meditation “organically” and was having intense visions and hearing voices. I must’ve lost control, BC the last thing I remember was a cruel, mocking girlish but grown woman’s voice cackling in my head “Do you want to go get high? Let’s go get nice and high… Hahaha…” (I’m an ex-addict) – and I “came to”, but could feel waves if vibrations/tingles running up from my feet to my scalp, as if my soul was trying to be sucked from my physicality. I knew enough not to “panic”/”fight” too aggressively. I instead remained calm and ignored her taunts (as well as the decidedly disturbing bodily sensations) and said the lord’s prayer (I’m not even Christian, but it worked in the past…) and slowly began to regain movement of my fingertips until I was “free”, but holy sh*t, that was sinister af…

My crown chakra tingles nonstop day and night and my left ear rings off the hook, and my right ear will do so about once every other day. I also have been seeing numerical synchronicities increasingly for the past two years, but this month in particular I see “22:22”, “2:22”, “21:21″, 21:12”, “12:12”, “212” all day each time I glance at the clock, see a license plate, a receipt, a time stamps, etc… (I see other “significant” numerical frequencies, but this has been most notable).

I feel like I’m going insane and have been in isolation since a week before COVID hit last year… I’m going through a marital separation after a decade plus and am alone for the first time in as long… I feel tired all the time, and get panic attacks that “aren’t mine” (I believe they are my TF’s – NOT my ex-husband, btw…). Sometimes I dob for no reason (again, it’s some external “catharsis”, not a depression/”mine” – but, other times, I feel so full of hope, love, and elation (which, consequently, DOES feel as though it “comes from within”/is “mine” that my heart feels as if it may burst into a galaxy of stars… Then I get a crushing low… Up and down, up and down.

I live abroad and have no one to talk to here who “understands”. Can anyone relate or be so good as to share any insights? I’m open to any and all info – and I sincerely thank and appreciate anyone who made it through that mess of a post. I am incredibly grateful for any and all opinions or experiences, etc… Love and thanks. Blessings to all X