Getting Mad And Getting Over It

Skip to Content Skip to Chat ×

Settings Menu

• Language
• High Contrast High Contrast Mode On or Off switch On Off
• Font Size regular font size large font size
• Disclaimer
• Close

Top State of Connecticut Advocates' Corner

• CT.gov Home
• Advocates' Corner
• Current: Getting Mad and Getting Over It

• About Us
• Life Tips
• Transportation
• My Plan - Life Course
• Recreation and Respite
• Employment
• Emergency Preparedness
• My Vote Matters
• Topics A–Z
• STEP
• Subscribe for E-Updates

Search Advocates' Corner Search the current Agency with a Keyword Filtered Topic Search Getting Mad and Getting Over It What is anger? Anger is a strong feeling.People get angry for different reasons.

• You may get angry when:
• A person hurts your feelings
• A person does something to you that you do not like
• You remember something bad that happened in the past

Everyone gets angry.

• Everyone gets angry sometimes.
• It is important to get over being angry.
• Some people get angry a lot…and they don’t get over it.That can be a problem! Being angry can:
  • Make you feel bad, and
  • Make other people not want to be around you.

What happens inside your body when you are angry?

• Your heart beats faster.
• You breathe faster.
• You may feel hot and start to sweat.
• Your muscles may get tight. That can hurt!

What do people do when they are angry?

• People may:
  • Yell and scream
  • Say things to hurt others
  • Hit or break things
  • Hit themselves or others
  • Just hold it all in and do nothing

Getting really angry can make you feel bad.

• Getting angry all the time can make you sick with:
  • Heart problems
  • Back problems
  • Stomach problems
  • Sleep problems

You may be getting angry too much of the time, if:

• People do not want to be your friend
• You lost your job
• People do not want to be around you
• People are afraid of you
• Getting angry and feeling bad takes up a lot of your day

If you get really angry or get angry a lot:

• Make a plan to slow down your anger
• Try to figure out why you get so angry
• If you are angry at someone, talk about it with them when you’re not angry
• Talk to a counselor or a therapist

Make a plan and stick to it!

• Some people use a plan every time they start to get angry.
• A plan could include:
  • Breathing slowly: Count to 7 when you breathe in and count to 11 when you breathe out
  • Taking a walk
  • Thinking about something you like

Other Plans

• Every time you start to get angry:
• • Think about a place you like to visit where you are happy
  • Close your eyes and go there in your mind
  • Count to ten before saying anything

When you get angry, try to figure out why by asking:

• What were you doing just before you got angry?
• What made you angry?
  • Did someone say something that made you angry?
  • Did someone do something that made you angry?
  • Did getting angry make you think about something from the past?

Try talking about it.

• If someone makes you angry:
  • Use a plan to slow down the anger
  • When you are not angry, talk about it with the person
  • Don’t blame the other person
  • Just tell them why you are angry

You choose to be angry.

• No one makes you angry.
• So, it is better to say ‘I feel angry’ and not to say ‘You make me angry.’

It’s better to say: ‘I feel upset when you use bad language’ or ‘I feel angry when you call me names.’ It’s better not to say:‘You make me upset when you use bad language’ or ‘You make me mad when you call me names.’ Is it time to see a counselor?

• See a counselor or a therapist if you:
  • Get really angry a lot
  • Can’t figure out why you get angry
  • Can’t follow a plan to slow down your anger
  • Are losing your friends
• If you need a counselor:
  • There are counselors and therapists who know a lot about anger
  • ‘Anger Management’ is when a counselor helps you control or get over your anger
• If you talk to a counselor, tell her or him that you have problems with anger that you want to work on

Other Resources

• Dial 2-1-1: Get Connected. Get Answers.
  • Ask about local anger control support groups.
  • Ask about counselors or therapists who know about anger management.
  • Ask Your Case Manager about local support groups.
  • How Can I Deal with My Anger? (For Teenagers) http://kidshealth.org/teen/your_mind/emotions/deal_with_anger.html