Getting Your Toddler To Listen - BabyCentre UK

Maybe your like

Community
- Find your birth club
- Free antenatal classes
- Meet local parents & parents-to-be
- See all in Community
Getting pregnant
- Ovulation calculator
- Am I pregnant quiz
- How to get pregnant fast
- Best sex positions
- Signs of pregnancy
- How many days after your period can you get pregnant?
- How age affects fertility
- Very early signs of pregnancy
- What fertile cervical mucus looks like
- Think you're pregnant but the test is negative?
- Faint line on pregnancy test
- See all in Getting pregnant
Pregnancy
- Pregnancy week by week
- How big is my baby?
- Due Date Calculator
- Conception Date Calculator
- Baby movements week by week
- Symptoms you should never ignore
- Hospital bag checklist
- Signs of labour
- Your baby's position in the womb
- Baby gender predictor
- Vaginal spotting
- NT scan
- Fetal development chart
- See all in Pregnancy
Baby names
- Baby names finder
- Baby name inspiration
- Popular baby names 2025
- Numerology calculator
- Gender-neutral names
- Old-fashioned names
- See all in Baby names
Baby
- Your baby week by week
- Baby milestones by month
- Baby rash types
- Baby poop chart
- Ways to soothe a crying baby
- Safe co-sleeping
- Teething signs
- Growth spurts
- See all in Baby
Toddler
- Your toddler month by month
- Toddler development milestones
- Dealing with tantrums
- Toddler meals
- Food & fussy eating
- When to start potty training
- Moving from a cot to a bed
- Help your child sleep through
- Games & activities
- Vomiting: what's normal?
- See all in Toddler
Preschooler
- Your child month by month
- Food ideas & nutrition
- How kids learn to share
- Coping with aggression
- Bedtime battles
- Anxiety in children
- Dealing with public tantrums
- Great play ideas
- Is your child ready for school?Top tips for starting school
- See all in Preschooler
Life as a parent
- Postnatal symptoms to watch out for
- Stitches after birth
- Postpartum blood clots
- Baby showers
- Sex secrets for parents
- See all in Life as a parent
Baby essentials
- Best baby products
- Best formula and bottles for a windy baby
- Best car seats if you need three to fit
- Best nappies
- Best Moses baskets
- Best baby registries
- Best baby sleeping bags
- Best baby humidifier
- Best baby monitors
- Best baby bath seat
- Best baby food
- See all in Baby essentials
Popular searches
- Back pain in pregnancy
- Pelvic girdle pain
- Perineal massage
- Signs you're having a boy
- Signs you're having a girl
- Can you take fish oil while pregnant?
- 18 weeks pregnant bump
- Can you eat salami when pregnant?
- Edwards' syndrome
- Mucus plug
- Missed miscarriage
- Should I harvest my colostrum?
- Rhesus positive vs. Rhesus negative
- What do contractions feel like?
- Hunger in early pregnancy
- First poop after birth
- When do babies sit up?
- When can babies have salt?
- MMR vaccine rash
- Vaping while breastfeeding
- How to transition from formula to milk
- When do babies start grabbing things?
- Sperm allergy: can sperm cause itching?
- How long after taking folic acid can I get pregnant?

Community
Getting pregnant
Pregnancy
Baby names
Baby
Toddler
Preschooler
Life as a parent
Baby essentials

Toddler
Behaviour and habits

Getting your toddler to listen

Medically reviewed by Angharad Rudkin, Clinical psychologist Francesca Whiting

Written by Francesca Whiting | 1 Sep 2021 Child with toy phone

Photo credit: Luciane Garbin for BabyCenterJust like the rest of us, toddlers don't always listen. But unlike us, there’s often good reasons for this. Being absorbed in their playtime, not understanding complex instructions, and not getting the attention they need from you, can all impact on how much your toddler listens. Teaching your little one to be a good listener will give them the tools they need to communicate, follow instructions and learn to master exciting new skills. Use the following simple strategies in everyday life to help your toddler listen better.

How to teach your child to listen

Read to them Reading aloud to your toddler is a great way to improve their listening skills. Use silly voices, or emphasise certain words or phrases to get their attention. Join your local library to have a ready source of exciting new stories. If your toddler hasn't heard the story before, they will have to listen to find out what happens! You can also find books that are specially written to teach children to listen. Advertisement | page continues below Get down to their level Try not to give your child instructions from across the room. Instead, squat down or sit down at your child’s eye level and get their attention (Action for Children nd, CDC 2019). Be clear and direct State your message clearly and simply, using words you know your toddler will understand (Child Mind Institute nd). For example, instead of saying, "It's cold outside and you've been poorly lately, so I want you to put on your jumper before we go to the shops" simply say, "It's time to put on your jumper". Your toddler is more likely to understand what you're saying and be more inclined to listen. It’s better to use statements rather than questions, especially if your little one doesn’t have a choice (Child Mind Institute nd). "It's time to get into your car seat" has much more impact than, "Do you want to climb into your car seat now?" Try to give instructions one at a time, so that your toddler doesn’t feel overwhelmed and frustrated if they forget something (Child Mind Institute nd). Set a good example Advertisement | page continues below Your toddler will be a better listener if they see that you’re a good listener, too. Practise active listening whenever you can. This means really focusing on your little one and concentrating on what they’re saying. Make eye contact with them when they talk to you, let them finish without interrupting and repeat what they say back to you, so they know you understand them (Action for Children nd). It may be difficult when you're cooking dinner and they're especially chatty, but try not to turn your back on them while they're talking. It can be hard to find time for your whole family to sit down and talk to each other. Mealtimes are a perfect time to do this. It may not be possible to do this every night, but try to set one day a week, such as Sunday evening, for everyone to sit down and share a meal. If you don't have a table, see if you can buy a foldaway version. This will give your toddler a chance to see their family interacting and listening, and it will also give them an opportunity to chat and listen, too. Be consistent Make it clear that you mean what you say and don't make threats, or promises, you won't keep. If you tell your two-year-old, "You can have water with your dinner", don't waver five minutes later and give them juice. Making sure any adults at home share your rules, and that you stick to them, will help your toddler feel more secure. Give your child time to process instructions, too. If you want your toddler to put their cup on the table, say, "Put your cup on the table" and give it a few moments. If they don't, you can repeat the instruction calmly and clearly. That way, you’ve also shown them a good example of how to be patient while waiting (Child Mind Institute nd). Advertisement | page continues below Reinforce your message It helps to back up what you say with other cues, especially if you're trying to pull your child away from an absorbing activity. Say, "Time for bed!" and then give a visual cue (flicking the light switch on and off), a physical cue (laying your hand on their shoulder), or a demonstration (steering them towards their bed). Give warnings Give your toddler advance notice when a big change is about to happen, especially if they're happily involved with toys or a friend. There's no point in giving your toddler a five-minute warning, as they're too young to understand the concept of time. Instead, when you're getting ready to leave the house say, "When you have finished dressing your doll, put your coat on". Give realistic instructions Advertisement | page continues below If you tell your two-year-old to put their toys away, they may look around the room and think, "No way!". Instead, give them specific and manageable tasks, such as "Let's put the yellow blocks away". Once they've accomplished the first task, you can make it into a game by saying, "Good. Now let's put the blue blocks away (Child Mind Institute nd)". Motivate Yelling orders may get results once or twice, but your child will quickly become used to it and stop paying attention. Younger children love to see adults being silly. So why not occasionally use a silly voice or a song to deliver your message? You could sing, "Now it's time to brush your teeth" to the tune of London Bridge is Falling Down, for example. Stress the benefits of getting the job done. Say, "Brush your teeth and then we'll read your favourite book", instead of "Brush your teeth or you'll get fillings", or "Brush your teeth NOW!". Praise them when they’ve completed their task, with "Good listening!". The good humour, affection and trust you show your toddler will make them want to listen to you. They'll know that you love them and think they're special. This is important when you need to be firm, too. Straightforward instructions delivered calmly and with authority are more powerful when they're accompanied by a hug or a smile. Then your toddler learns that paying attention is worthwhile. Advertisement | page continues below

More parenting tips on toddler behaviour:

Nail biting in two-year-olds
What to do if your child fights during playdates
Tips on disciplining your child

Was this article helpful?

Yes

Running away
By The BabyCentre UK Editorial Team
Choosing baby skincare products
By Francesca Whiting
What is your post-baby body wish?
The BabyCentre Love It Award: the mark of excellence chosen by real parents.

Track your pregnancy on our free #1 pregnancy & baby app

Sources

BabyCentre's editorial team is committed to providing the most helpful and trustworthy pregnancy and parenting information in the world. When creating and updating content, we rely on credible sources: respected health organisations, professional groups of doctors and other experts, and published studies in peer-reviewed journals. We believe you should always know the source of the information you're seeing. Learn more about our editorial and medical review policies.

Action for Children. nd. Active listening skills for parents. Action for Children. www.parents.actionforchildren.org.uk/Opens a new window [Accessed June 2021] CDC. 2019. Active Listening. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. www.cdc.govOpens a new window [Accessed June 2021] Child Mind Institute. Nd. How to Give Kids Effective Instructions. Child Mind Institute. www.childmind.orgOpens a new window [Accessed June 2021] Francesca Whiting

Francesca Whiting

Francesca Whiting is digital content executive at BabyCentre. She’s responsible for making sure BabyCentre’s health content is accurate, helpful and easy to understand.

Opens a new window Opens a new window Opens a new window