Help! Why Don't I Cry When Someone Dies? - Ashes With Art
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ESTABLISHED 1996
100% RESIN FREE
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Placing an order with us is super easy. Find the right method for you below.
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Place Your Order Online - Your order will be ready in approximately 2 weeks from receipt of ashes.
When an online order has been placed, we will send you a pack with everything you need to send the ashes or hair back to us. This pack includes a sealable bag for the ashes or hair, a wooden spoon to decant the ashes, and a freepost returns envelope. A ring-sizer will also be included if you are unsure of your ring size, so you can place your order even if you are not certain on the size you need.
When we receive your online order, a member of our team will contact you to confirm everything and answer any questions that you may have.
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Come and visit our beautiful studio and showroom and order in person. We love people visiting us!
We have lots of samples for you to see and try on. Our team of specialists can also deal with the ashes should you prefer not to do this yourself.
There is never any obligation to buy, and we are happy to have a chat and answer all questions you may have.
We are always open for walk-ins, but we recommend booking an appointment with the calendar below.
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If you are unable to visit in person but would like a similar experience, you can book a video consultation with us. We will show you our designs, answer any questions you have, and take all the pain out of ordering remotely.
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If you cannot visit our studio in person and don't wish to order online or in a video consultation, you can request an Order Pack to place an order via post.
Follow the link below to request your free order pack. We will send you everything you need to order including a brochure, order form, ring sizer, spoon to decant ashes, and a Freepost returns envelope.
Upon receiving your order form and ashes, we will call you to check the details and take payment.
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Click on the links below to learn how to safely pack and send the ashes and hair to us.
- Sending Ashes
Sending Ashes
Watch our video guide below to learn how to safely send us ashes using our order pack.
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Sending Hair
Watch our video guide below to learn how to safely send us hair using our order pack.
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- Worried about sending your ashes in the post?
Worried about sending ashes in the post?
Want your ashes or hair to arrive with us as fast as possible?
If you don't think our freepost returns service is suitable and want to guarantee that your ashes arrive with us the next working day, then we recommend using Royal Mail's "Special Delivery" service which can be purchased at your local post office.
When we receive your ashes or hair here, we match them up with your order and will always give you a call to let you know we have received them. If you are not available to talk, we will leave you a voicemail or send an email to keep you up to date.
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What's my ring size?
- Sending Ashes
- What's my ring size?
What's my ring size?
If you don't know your ring size, don't worry!
You can still place your order without knowing your ring size by choosing 'I'm unsure – please send me a ring sizer' from the ring size selection tool on the product page.
We will then send you a ring-sizer with your ashes collection pack.
If you already have one of our ring sizers and want to see how to use it, please watch the following video.
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More About our Metals & Gems
- More About our Metals & Gems
More About our Metals & Gems
We only work with the very best precious metals and hand-select the highest quality ethical diamonds and gemstones. For more information on our materials, click on the area of interest below.
- Diamonds & Gemstones
Diamonds & Gemstones
We hand select each and every diamond and gemstone to ensure that it is of the very highest quality.
The diamonds we use are stunning and have a minimum quality of D E F colourless diamonds, a VS1 clarity with a minimum cut of VG. Every diamond we sell above 0.2ct comes with an IGI certificate which will be provided with your completed piece and can also be viewed independently online.
We also offer stunning ranges with Emeralds, Rubies and many different coloured Sapphires.
To Protect the planet, we only use ethical lab-grown diamonds and gemstones. If you preferred mined versions, please get in touch.
More information on our diamonds and gemstones can be found on the below links:
Diamond Information
Emerald Information
Ruby Information
Sapphire Information
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Glass Gemstone Information
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Glass Gemstone Information
All of our glass ashes gemstones are handcrafed by our team of specialist glass artists in our workshop.
Our team of talented glass artists turn ashes into an array of glass gemstones in different sizes and 16 colours.
There is a choice of 16 clear and opaque glass gemstone colours, giving you complete flexibility over the finished piece. All our gemstones are handset by our jewellers into your chosen style of jewellery.
Glass gemstones offer a superior choice for memorial jewellery over alternatives made with resin.
More information on our Glass Gemstones can be found on the below link:
Glass Gemstone Information
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Resin Information
- Resin Information And Why We Don't Use It
Resin Information
Choosing which memorial piece you want can be a really difficult decision. If you've looked online for memorial jewellery, chances are you have come across the concept of resin being used as a preservation tool for ashes and hair. We do not use resin here and generally advise against it.
Resin, or epoxy resin, is a type of glue that is man-made and used for many different purposes. Resin casting is a method of plastic casting where a mold is filled with a synthetic resin which then hardens. Due to the simplicity of the product, this can be carried out with little investment and little skill.
Its use in jewellery, whilst frowned upon by master craftsmen, has grown over recent years. All resin has the possibility of discoloring to an off-yellow, warping, or falling out due to shrinkage. You cannot get it wet or expose it to too much sun. This is why you won't find resin products in a true jewellery store but will find these products on a market stall.
Don't just take our word for it. It's always important to do your own research. Whilst resin has its place in the world, we believe that for memorialisation, it is not suitable.
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Precious Metal Information
- Precious Metal Information
Precious Metal Information
Which precious metals do you make with?We work with Sterling Silver, 9ct and 18ct Yellow, Rose, and White Gold, and Platinum.
Is there a difference between 9ct and 18ct gold?The main difference between 9ct gold and 18ct gold is the purity, with 18ct gold being the purer of the two. As a result, 18ct gold will be more expensive than 9ct gold.
The color varies between 9ct and 18ct golds very slightly. This is not noticeable to most people.
None of the above make either metal better or worse. We always advise to go with the one that you want or the one you normally choose.
Which Precious Metal is best?All our precious metal is high quality and suitable for use.
In terms of hardness, silver is the softest, then 9ct gold, then 18ct with platinum being the hardest.
As we said though at the beginning, all precious metals we use are suitable, so it's very much a personal preference based on what you normally buy and your budget.
Do you use sterling silver?Yes, all our silver is sterling silver.
Will your silver tarnish?We Rhodium plate all of our silver to avoid tarnishing as silver is a metal that does tarnish if exposed to certain elements.
Do you hallmark your precious metal?We hallmark all jewellery as per hallmarking UK guidelines and law.
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Delivery
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Delivery
Once your order is complete, we will call you to arrange delivery or collection.
The majority of our pieces are sent out using our courier network on a next day service.
Smaller items are sent via Royal Mail, and artwork that has a length of 1 meter is delivered personally by our team.
Deliveries are Monday to Friday as standard.
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Warranty
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Warranty
All our products come with a 12-month warranty against manufacturing defects.
If your item has an issue relating to the quality, for example, a manufacturing fault, we kindly ask you to email us with a photograph and description. Please contact us with an image and description of the issue. Our customer care team and a qualified jeweler will assess the issue and contact you. If we find a manufacturing fault with your item, it will be repaired or remade free of charge.
The Ashes With Art team is proud to produce high-quality handcrafted items, and the core of our business is excellent customer service. We will always strive to ensure you are completely happy with your piece. Do not hesitate to contact us if we can assist you in any way.
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If you are unable to visit in person but would like a similar experience, you can book a video consultation with us. We will show you our designs, answer any questions you have, and take all the pain out of ordering remotely.
Book Video Consultation
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In Person
- In Person
In Person
Come and visit our beautiful studio and showroom and order in person. We love people visiting us!
We have lots of samples for you to see and try on. Our team of specialists can also deal with the ashes should you prefer not to do this yourself.
There is never any obligation to buy, and we are happy to have a chat and answer all questions you may have.
We are always open for walk-ins, but we recommend booking an appointment with the calendar below.
Book In-Store Appointment
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Find Us
Monday to Saturday 9:30AM - 5:30PM
Ashes With Art 81 High Street Worthing BN11 1DNESTABLISHED 1996
100% RESIN FREE
Free Delivery
BUY NOW PAY LATER
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- Help! Why Don’t I Cry When Someone Dies?
When someone we love dies, it's natural to feel a range of emotions: sadness, anger, confusion, and so on. For many people, crying is one of the ways they express their grief. But not everyone cries when someone dies. Why is that?
Not crying following a death or during a funeral is not as rare as you might think. And if you're worried that it makes you a bad person or that you aren't grieving correctly, this article is for you.
There are many reasons why someone might not cry when someone dies. For some, it's simply a matter of personality. They may tend to bottle up their emotions and not express them outwardly. Others may have experienced so much loss in their lives that they've become numb to it. Or, they may simply not know how to deal with complex emotions.
Whatever the reason, it doesn't mean that you are a bad person or broken, it simply means that you are going through the grieving process in your own way.
What is the grieving process?
The grieving process is different for everyone. There is no right or wrong way to grieve, and there is no timeline for how long it should take. Some people grieve for years while others can get back to normal more quickly. Some people may cry every day for months following a death, while others may not cry at all.
There are, however, some common stages of grief that most people go through. These are:
- Denial: This is when you first receive the news of a death and can't believe it's true. You may withdraw from friends and family and try to pretend that everything is normal. You might also avoid thinking about the loss.
- Anger: As the reality of the situation sets in, you may start to feel angry. You may be angry with yourself, the deceased, or those around you.
- Bargaining: During this stage, you may find yourself bargaining with God or the universe. You may make promises, such as "If only I had been there, they would still be alive." You might start to blame yourself or wish you could reverse time.
- Depression: This is when the weight of the loss really hits you. You may feel hopeless and helpless, and you may lose interest in things that once sparked joy. Depression can interfere with your everyday life and make it difficult to work or attend social gatherings.
- Acceptance: In this final stage, you come to terms with the death and begin to move on with your life. This is when you can say you are no longer grieving and have come to terms with your loss. You might still feel sadness when you think about the person, but you are no longer overwhelmed by emotion.
It's important to remember that not everyone experiences all of these stages, and there is no fixed order. You may find yourself jumping from one stage to another or moving back and forth between them. And that's OK.
If you had a complex relationship with the deceased, you may have already mourned their loss. This can also be the case if they had a long illness. Illness can often feel like it has taken people while they are still here, so we start processing our grief before they have even passed away.
If you're not sure how you're feeling or what stage you're in, talking to a therapist or counsellor can be helpful. They can provide support and guidance as you work through your grief.
Why do we cry?
Crying is a natural response to sadness, and it can be cathartic. It allows us to release our emotions and can help us to feel better. Crying also releases neurochemical substances that can improve our mood.
So, if crying is beneficial, why don't some people do it? As we said, there are many reasons. Some people may have a hard time expressing their emotions, while others may not have experienced much loss in their lives and so they don't know how to deal with it.

What triggers crying?
Crying is often triggered by certain events or situations. These can be anything from hearing a song that reminds you of the deceased to seeing someone who looks like them. Other triggers can include:
- Seeing photos or other reminders of the person
- Thinking about happy memories with the person
- Celebrating special occasions, such as birthdays or holidays
- Hearing news that would have made the person happy
Sometimes, it can be hard to pinpoint what exactly is triggering your tears. You may find yourself crying for no reason at all. And that's OK, too.
What can stop you from crying?
We think of crying as a normal reaction to grief, but it isn't always the case. Here are some of the things that can stop you from crying
- Shock and denial: When you first hear about a death, it can be hard to process. Your mind may go into survival mode and shut down all non-essential functions, including emotion. This is a natural defence mechanism that helps us to cope in times of stress.
- Numbness: If you have experienced a lot of loss in your life, you may become numb to it. This is your brain's way of protecting you from too much pain.
- Fear: Some people are afraid of crying because they think it makes them weak or vulnerable. They may worry that they won't be able to stop once they start.
- Personality: Some people simply don't express their pain through tears. If you don't cry easily when other sad things happen, you might not express your pain through tears following a death.
- Acceptance: If you had a complicated relationship with the deceased, you may have already grieved the loss, so it won't come as a shock when they pass away. This can happen if you are estranged.
Is it normal not to cry?
It is perfectly normal not to cry when someone dies. There is no right or wrong way to grieve, and everyone deals with loss in their own way. It doesn't mean that you don't care, that you are cold, or that you are broken in any way. It simply means that you process your emotions in a different way.
If you are worried about how you are grieving, talking to a therapist or counsellor can be helpful. They can provide support and guidance as you work through your grief.
Does it mean you don't care if you don't cry?
No, not at all. It might just mean that you process grief differently than others. And that's perfectly normal.
There are many different ways to grieve, and not all of them involve crying. Just because you don't cry doesn't mean you're not grieving or that you don't care about the person who died.
Some people simply don't tend to express their emotions through tears. They might internalize their grief instead. This doesn't mean they aren't grieving, they might just express it differently.
Why do I not cry at funerals?
It's not uncommon to not cry at funerals, even if you were very close to the deceased. This is because funerals are often a time for celebrating a life, rather than grieving a loss. There may also be a lot of people around who are emotional, which can make it difficult to express your own emotions. If you find yourself in this situation, it's OK to step away from the crowd and take some time for yourself.
What if I am crying too much?
If you find yourself crying all the time or having difficulty functioning in your day-to-day life, it might be a sign that you're struggling to cope with your grief. This is normal, and there are many ways to get help. Talking to a therapist or counsellor can be a great way to work through your emotions and start to heal.
Crying is often seen as the most "normal" way to grieve, but not everyone cries when they're grieving. There are many different ways to process grief, and not all of them involve crying. Just because you don't cry doesn't mean you're not grieving or that you don't care about the person who died.
How can I force myself to cry?
Some people will tell you that you'll feel better if you cry. This might be true, but not always. However, if you want to get the waterworks flowing, there are a few things you can try. Watching a sad film can help you to tap into those emotions and start crying. Alternatively, you could try writing about your grief or talking to someone who will understand and listen to you.
Remember that there is nothing wrong with not crying. It is perfectly normal and no one will think any less of you if you are unable to express your emotions in this way
Sometimes, all you need is a little bit of time to process what is happening. The tears may simply take a little longer to arrive.
Please see our Ashes Jewellery to keep your loved ones close.
Siobhan Jones
Founder & Creative Director, Ashes With Art
Siobhan Jones established her fused glass studio in 1996 and later founded Ashes With Art as a dedicated memorial jewellery brand. Since 1996, she has combined specialist fused glass expertise with fine jewellery craftsmanship, overseeing the design and making of every memorial piece created across our Worthing and Birmingham studios. Her focus on traditional techniques, in-house production and material integrity ensures each commission is handled with precision, care and respect.
Learn more about Siobhan Jones
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