How Baby Skin Color Develops, Why, What's Normal And Not

Hi Priyanka, Congratulations on your baby! I am so sorry to hear that you feel depressed. Postpartum depression can happen to anyone and has nothing to do with your child’s appearance. However, feeling depressed can trigger all sorts of negative thoughts and emotions. My top advice is that you turn to your doctor or midwife to get prompt help with your depression. Even though being a new mom is overwhelming for most, real depression should be taken seriously. Don’t wait!

Not feeling any overwhelming love at first sight of your new baby is completely normal. Love doesn’t just happen, it grows. I read somewhere that it takes about six months for a baby to become a given part of a family. After that, it is hard to even imagine how life was before this new person existed. But until then, everything is new. After just one month, you are both (or all three!) still adapting to life outside the womb. Your body is healing, hormones are all over the place, your baby is also slowing just adapting, and not very communicative yet. You might be completely sleep deprived, breasts are hurting, there’s a lot of worrying and not much fun. “Is this what it’s like to have a baby!?”. Well, don’t worry, it is NOT. It is what it’s like to have a new baby. It passes. In just a month or two, things will have started to feel much more normal, and you have started to grow a bond with your little son. :-)

Regarding your thoughts about your son’s skin color. I think you are brave to admit them. As you write, you know very well that they are unreasonable. Most likely, you can just write them off as negative thoughts related to your baby blues. You can also challenge them: So, your son doesn’t have the exact skin color you would have wished. So, what..? Take time to study his appearance – his little nose, mouth, eyes, hands, feet. He is all a “product” of you and your husband. Focus on looking at him with lots of love no matter how “perfect” any of his features are. He’s your baby! Alive and developing. Being just one month old, he might still look a bit funny, (Newborn Baby Appearance and Why They Look So Funny!) but his looks will change dramatically during the next few months.

So, again, get help for your depression. Now! On top of that, relax. Love and bonding grows over time. Focus on cuddling, keeping your baby close, making contact, playing, and just enjoying him! (Awesome 1-Month-Old Baby Development Milestones, Games & Toys). He needs you!

Love, Paula