How Does Cheating Affect A Man? - Magnet Of Success

Updated on April 7, 2020

Although men have strong shells on the outside, they’re very fragile on the inside. They get hurt just the way women do. The only difference is that men don’t show it because they don’t want to be perceived as emotionally weak.

They want to be seen as strong individuals who have their life (especially emotions) under control. They basically want to show that they’re capable of taking care of themselves emotionally and physically and that they can take care of others’ needs too.

But just because they appear strong and self-reliant doesn’t mean that cheating doesn’t affect them.

In fact, cheating affects a man in a myriad of ways. Sometimes consequences are so severe that they continue to affect a guy for months or years.

It really depends on two things:

1. On how much deliberate or indeliberate damage the cheater intends to cause to a man.
2. How confident a man is about himself and how optimistic he is about his future.

Basically, if a man respects and loves himself, and rationally as well as emotionally understands that he’ll be okay despite being cheated on, the damage caused by cheating will be relatively low.

He’s going to process the cheating and get over it.

But if a man has poor self-esteem and thinks that he’s bad at dating or talking to women, then he’s going to find himself in one of the worst predicaments of his life.

He’s going to feel gut-wrenching pain like never before and might initially experience the following physical symptoms:

• Extreme nausea
• Dizziness
• Diarrhea
• Vomiting
• Headaches
• And all sorts of pain and fatigue

But when the initial shock from cheating subsides, the physical pain will turn into long-term emotional pain.

Getting cheated on will cause a man to have:

• High anxiety
• Severe depression
• Lack of energy, will, and ambition

If you want to learn more about the psychological effects behind cheating and how cheating affects a man and his life, read on. This article is for you.

What kind of men does cheating affect the most?

Cheating affects most men. But there are some men who cheating especially affects.

We’re talking about the kind of people who have an anxious attachment style and who are slightly (or very) insecure about themselves.

Such people tend to emotionally invest in their partner with their hearts and souls. They love with such passion and enthusiasm that all they care about is their partner’s love.

As a result, they become codependent on the person they’re with and begin to live for their partner’s recognition.

Questions, such as, “How can I love her more” or “What can I do to make her happier” don’t leave their mind very often. They usually think about what they can do to showcase their enormous love for their partner.

And that’s because they have people-pleasing personalities.

For some reason that stems from their childhood, they developed themselves into the kind of servants that live for others’ appraisal and recognition.

They became people who love making others happy because it makes them happy in return.

It’s truly a shame that vulnerable people who love the most get affected by cheating the most as it absolutely rips their hearts out and makes them lose faith in dating.

What cheating does to a man’s self-esteem

If you take the previous chapter into consideration, you’ll agree that the more of your happiness you sacrifice for a girl, the more you will suffer when a girl cheats on you.

Add insecurities, depression, and other mental illnesses on top of that and you’ll feel as if the world’s come crashing down on you.

You’ll experience such anxiety that you won’t sleep for days. Your brain will turn into mush and you’ll become a zombie for information. All you’ll be able to think about is the fun the girl had when she emotionally and physically betrayed you.

But if you’re thinking about taking the girl back despite her cheating, know that you’re about to face the challenge of your life.

You’ll soon be spending days and nights ruminating about your girlfriend’s loyalty, asking yourself what the guy has that you don’t.

You might even become so insecure that you obsessively stalk your girlfriend’s social media, check her phone when she sleeps, and restrict her from talking to other men.

You could basically develop trust issues and never trust her to go out by herself again.

And this is very bad for a relationship with this (or any) person because trust is key in a relationship. It means everything because it binds the couple together and allows love and respect to form and grow.

Without love and trust, all you have is a person who’s with you for the sake of being with someone—anyone.

This is why putting shackles on a girl won’t help her stop cheating on you. It has to be her decision.

All it will do is help her perceive you in an insecure way and make her lose her remaining respect for you.

So if your girlfriend cheated on you and you take her back, don’t attempt to control her in some insecure, control-freak way.

Tell her that you’d like her to make healthy adjustments and show her that this is her last chance instead.

If she truly wants to be with you, she’ll work on herself at lightning speed. She’ll identify and acknowledge her mistakes and find professional help if she needs it.

She’ll do anything to make you trust her and love her again.

But if she doesn’t sound very eager about bettering herself, then she’ll probably fail to improve her behavior and monkey-branch when she meets a guy that attracts her more than you.

How being cheated on changes you as a man?

Men are fixers by nature, so the first thing they worry about when they get cheated on is that they weren’t good enough.

They sincerely believe that the reason their girlfriend cheated on them has something to do with their behavior or appearance—and that they need to improve themselves for their (ex)girlfriend to like them.

Most insecure, yet loyal people think that way. But the truth is that they’re not responsible for their cheater’s poor actions.

The cheater is the only person responsible for cheating and always will be.

Cheatees (males and females) unfortunately, don’t think that’s the case. They often blame themselves so much that they slide into depression.

They find themselves in a dark place with no exit. All they see is darkness that steals their energy and makes their lives miserable.

If you also found yourself in a place with no hope, know that it’s not the end of the world. Your girlfriend or ex-girlfriend cheated on you because of her low moral values and self-esteem issues.

Be glad that she finally showed you her real colors because cheating says bad things about a person.

It represents one’s poor thinking patterns and makes him or her unworthy of your love and commitment.

So once again, don’t suffer over someone who cheated on you. She’s not worth your precious life.

I know it’s probably easier said than done, but if you don’t engrave this into your brain and keep blaming yourself, you will develop self-esteem issues and trust issues that will require professional help to solve.

You could eventually carry your insecurities into your next relationship and have the next girl ditch you when your little demons come to the surface.

Here’s a picture explaining how cheating affects a man.

Men who get cheated on grow inwardly

If you’re wondering, “How does cheating affect a man,” I can tell you that cheating has a silver lining.

Desperation for improvement caused by depression makes men strive for perfection. It helps them realize their shortcomings and makes them become the best version of themselves.

This is especially evident in the breakup world where men think they have no choice but to work on themselves before they can attract their partner back.

But one thing they often neglect is that their ex-girlfriend isn’t receptive to internal and external improvements.

She’s already formed a poor opinion of the dumpee and is too emotionally exhausted to change her mind.

Not willingly, nor forcefully.

She’ll only change her mind if something external affects her emotional state. Some kind of negative occurrence that shifts her focus while a guy patiently continues to follow the indefinite no contact.

So even though growing as a person is incredibly important for all human beings, please keep in mind that it won’t bring your cheating ex back.

It will, however, help you become the person you need to be and attract the right kind of individual into your life.

Getting cheated on by my ex affected me badly

When my ex cheated on me, she didn’t tell me she cheated right away. She first kept avoiding me, hoping I wouldn’t find out.

But when I confronted her about her lack of presence a week later—she had no choice but to tell the truth.

She hesitantly told me that she cheated on me with someone she just met and that it was a big mistake.

Her alibi was that she didn’t mean to cheat; that she was drunk and that the guy she slept with had nowhere to stay.

By doing so, she tried to excuse her behavior and stated that she isn’t a cheater who can’t be trusted.

She appeared as baffled about her cheating as I was.

But to me, her reasoning felt strange because actions clearly depicted her thoughts and emotions.

This was the person who always told me how cheaters suck for not having any guilt and shame.

“I don’t get how people can cheat on their partner and pretend that everything’s okay” were her exact words.

Yet here she was, doing the things she despises the most. Cheating on a person, lying to him, and hiding the truth.

During my confrontation, my ex also told me that she couldn’t remember anything that happened that night.

She even went so far as to claim that someone had spiked her drink.

She ended up putting the blame on the guy she cheated with just because he kept pushing her to cheat. Apparently, he also told her lots of bad things about me and blackmailed her.

Quite the accusations she was making. According to her story, she was a victim who got taken advantage of as she found at least 10 excuses that would justify her behavior and not a single one that said, “It’s because I’m like this.”

She was in such denial that she blamed her actions on anything she could think of – on things that she had no control over.

Oh heck, at some point, she even blamed it on me. She claimed it was me who “made her do it.”

This came as quite a shocker. “How did I bring the guy home and force you to cheat on me,” I thought to myself.

I soon concluded that I didn’t. I was busy around that time working on a project at home and didn’t endorse her cheating, nor take from the relationship in any form.

But despite me not being responsible for her poor actions, cheating affected me very badly. It gave me such overwhelming anxiety that it made me sick.

Not to gross you out, but the stress from the shock caused me so much pain that it gave my bowels a kick and sent me straight to the toilet.

Now you can imagine how badly cheating affects a man and how destructive it can be for his health.

There’s nothing worse than betrayal.

Long-term consequences of cheating

Since I was young and foolish and believed in the one and only concept, I accepted the cheater back. I told her I’d like to try one more time but under one condition.

I wanted her to do some soul-searching and prove her loyalty to me so that I would know she’s serious about dating me. She immediately agreed to my request and said she’ll do what it takes to win my trust back.

The only problem was that my uneasiness, insecurities, cautiousness, and feelings of betrayal didn’t go away.

They still haunted me as I feared that she would cheat again.

Maybe not right away, but eventually when she stops valuing me.

This premonition just wouldn’t go away no matter how hard I tried. It always came back in the evening before sleep and lasted about half a year altogether.

This is why I wouldn’t wish the psychological cheating effects on anyone. Not even on my worst enemy because they deprive a person of his or her self-esteem.

They hurt a person so badly that they cause him or her to experience the worst physical and emotional pain.

But if a person has poor or mediocre self-esteem like I did at the time, then he’s in for a nasty treat.

He’s going to suffer a lot like me (or more) and probably take his girlfriend back even if she cheats on him, insults his family, and burn his house down.

Do you agree with how cheating affects a man? Have you been cheated on and has it affected you in a bad way too? Comment and let us know.

My name is Zan and I’m the founder of Magnet of Success. I enjoy writing realistic relationship and breakup articles and helping readers heal and grow. With more than 5 years of experience in the self-improvement, relationship, and breakup sphere, my goal is to provide advice that fosters positivity and success and avoids preventable mistakes and pain. Buy me a coffee, learn more about me, or get in touch today.

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