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Terms of Use wikiHow is where trusted research and expert knowledge come together. Learn why people trust wikiHow How Much Time Should You Take After a Breakup Before Dating Again? PDF download Download Article Expert advice on when to know you’re ready to date again Written by Sarah Schewitz, PsyD | Edited by Aly Rusciano

Last Updated: October 2, 2025 Fact Checked

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This article was written by Sarah Schewitz, PsyD and by wikiHow staff writer, Aly Rusciano. Sarah Schewitz, Psy.D. is a licensed clinical psychologist by the California Board of Psychology with over 10 years of experience. She received her Psy.D. from the Florida Institute of Technology in 2011. She is the founder of Couples Learn, an online psychology practice helping couples and individuals improve and change their patterns in love and relationships. There are 11 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page. This article has been fact-checked, ensuring the accuracy of any cited facts and confirming the authority of its sources. This article has been viewed 283,866 times.

If you’ve recently broken up with someone, it can be tempting to start dating again right away. But is there a specific amount of time you should wait—and, if not, is there any reason why you can’t jump right back into the game? We talked to dating experts to answer all of your questions! So, keep reading to learn how long you should wait before dating again, and how to know when you’re ready to move on after your breakup.

When should you start dating again after a breakup?

Relationship coach Sarah Schewitz, PsyD, recommends taking at least a few months to heal and move on from the end of your last relationship before jumping into the next. The general rule of thumb is to wait 3 months before dating after a breakup, but ultimately, start whenever you feel like the time is right for you.

Steps

Section 1 of 3:

How long after a breakup should you wait to date?

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  1. Step 1 Wait at least 3 months after a breakup before you start dating again. 1 Wait at least 3 months after a breakup before you start dating again. There’s no specific formula for figuring out how long you should wait.[1] However, most people need some time to bounce back after a breakup. Dr. Schewitz recommends taking at least a few months to heal and move on from the end of your last relationship before jumping into the next.[2]
    • If you’ve broken up after a long-term relationship, you may need more time. Six months to a year is a good rule of thumb if your last relationship lasted a year or more.
    • If you feel like you need even more time, that’s okay! Everyone is different, and there’s no need to rush into anything if you don’t feel ready.

    Meet the wikiHow Experts

    Sarah Schewitz, PsyD, is a licensed psychologist and relationship coach who specializes in helping couples and individuals improve their confidence and relationships. She has over 15 years of experience.

    Stefanie Safran is a dating coach, matchmaker, and the owner of Stef in the City, a matchmaking and dating coaching business. She has over 15 years of experience.

    John Keegan is a dating coach and motivational speaker based in New York City. He has over 15 years of experience and teaches and hosts dating workshops internationally.

  2. Step 2 Accept that you may need longer if your feelings for your ex are deep. 2 Accept that you may need longer if your feelings for your ex are deep. Some breakups are more painful than others. If you and your ex had been drifting apart for a while, it might not take you that long to get over the breakup. On the other hand, if you’ve just had your heart broken by someone you were close to, it makes sense that you’d need longer to mourn the loss. Before you jump back into dating, Dr. Schewitz advises asking yourself how much the breakup is affecting you.[3]
    • Other factors can also play a role in how long it takes for you to bounce back. For instance, it might be easier to move on from a long-distance relationship than from a relationship where you and your partner lived together.[4]
    • The bottom line: Do what’s best for you. Everyone grieves past relationships in their own way. Jump back into the dating pool when the time feels right for you.
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  3. Step 3 Wait at least 6 months to date again if you have children. 3 Wait at least 6 months to date again if you have children. Having children from your last relationship can complicate things. However, it’s very important to take their feelings into account and give them time to grieve, too. Child development experts recommend waiting at least 6 months after breaking up with your fellow parent before dating again. If you want to start dating sooner, that’s okay—but consider waiting a while before you introduce any new partners to your kids.[5]
    • Your child may never be happy about you dating new people, and that’s okay. But it’s important for them to have realistic expectations about your relationship with their other parent.
    • Try saying something like, “I know this is really hard for you, but it’s important for you to understand that your mom and I are divorced and we’re not going to get back together again. But even though I’m dating new people now, she’ll always be your mom.”
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Quiz

wikiHow Quiz: Am I Ready For A Relationship?

Relationships offer fun, comfort, and companionship, but how do you know when you’re ready to commit? By waiting until you’re truly ready, you’re allowing yourself to be the best partner possible. To find out if you’re finally ready for a relationship, take our quiz! 1 of 12

What do you look for in a partner?

Someone who brings joy to my life.

I guess I’m not sure yet?

Let me pull out my list. I have about 20 specific requirements.

As long as they’re hotter than my ex was, I’m good.

Next Section 2 of 3:

How to Move On After a Breakup

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  1. Step 1 Give yourself space to grieve your last relationship. 1 Give yourself space to grieve your last relationship. Getting into a new relationship too soon can ultimately make it harder to deal with the pain of your breakup, explains Dr. Schewitz.[6] Everyone’s grieving process is different, but some good strategies for dealing with the loss include:[7]
    • Allowing yourself to feel upset about what happened. It’s normal to feel a wide range of emotions after a breakup, including sadness, anger, frustration, guilt, confusion, or numbness. These feelings may come and go for a long time.
    • Practicing self-care. This includes things like spending time with friends and family, getting enough sleep, eating well, doing activities you enjoy, and taking care of your daily chores and responsibilities.
    • Building a healthy new routine for yourself. Find a new daily flow that doesn’t include your ex. Try going to the gym regularly or waking up at a specific time each day.
    • Reaching out to loved ones when you’re feeling down. If you don’t have friends and family to turn to, consider seeing a counselor or joining a breakup support group.
  2. Step 2 Reflect on why your last relationship didn’t work out. 2 Reflect on why your last relationship didn’t work out. Learning from your experience can make your next relationship stronger. Before you jump into dating again, Dr. Schewitz suggests taking time to think about what happened leading up to your breakup.[8] Ask yourself things like, “What can I learn from what happened?” and, “How can I use that knowledge to build a stronger foundation for my next relationship?”
    • Think about what part you might have played in what went wrong, and what you might do differently next time. For example, could you communicate better, or be more considerate of your next partner’s feelings?[9]
    • Also consider your ex’s role in what happened. Are there any red flags you might have missed, like patterns of dishonesty or manipulative behavior? If so, keep them in mind so you’ll know what to look out for in your next relationship.
    • You might need some time before you’re ready to look at your relationship in a calm and analytical way. Once you’re able to be objective about your last relationship, you’ll be in a much better position to start dating again.
  3. Step 3 Focus on doing things that you enjoy on your own. 3 Focus on doing things that you enjoy on your own. You may need time to rediscover yourself after a breakup. This is especially true if you’re moving on after a long-term relationship. Take time to do things that you find meaningful and enjoyable—without worrying about what anyone else might think. This can help you build confidence and learn to understand and appreciate yourself more, which sets you up for more success in future relationships.[10] For example, focus on things like:
    • Cooking meals that you like, without worrying about someone else’s preferences.
    • Watching TV shows you enjoy instead of sticking to ones that you and your ex watched together.
    • Working on hobbies you didn’t have time for during your relationship.
    • Doing activities you like that your partner wasn’t necessarily interested in, such as hiking, playing video games, window shopping, or visiting museums.
    EXPERT TIP John Keegan

    John Keegan

    Dating Coach John Keegan is a Dating Coach and motivational speaker based in New York City. With over 10 years of professional experience, he runs The Awakened Lifestyle, where he uses his expertise in dating, attraction, and social dynamics to help people find love. He teaches and holds dating workshops internationally, from Los Angeles to London and from Rio de Janeiro to Prague. His work has been featured in the New York Times, Humans of New York, and Men's Health. John Keegan John Keegan Dating Coach

    Prioritize your own personal growth before entering a relationship. Being personally fulfilled and having a strong sense of self sets you up for a healthier partnership. A partner should complement your life, but you shouldn't need them to complete it.

  4. Step 4 Set clear expectations for new relationships. 4 Set clear expectations for new relationships. If you have a clear idea of what you want from future partners, you’ll have an easier time building healthy, fulfilling relationships. Before you climb back into the dating pool, ask yourself what you’re looking for and where your boundaries are. Dating coach and matchmaker Stefanie Safran says not to be afraid to talk about your needs, wants, and goals with new potential partners as you’re getting to know them.[11]
    • For instance, you might set a goal to spend a certain amount of time together one-on-one each week, or to work together on specific areas where your relationship needs improvement (like communication or physical intimacy).
    • Think about setting limits and boundaries, too. For instance, you might let your new partner know that you expect your relationship to be exclusive, or that you need a certain amount of alone time every day.
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Section 3 of 3:

How to Know You’re Ready to Date Again

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  1. Step 1 Assess whether you feel excited about dating again. 1 Assess whether you feel excited about dating again. Imagine going on a date with somebody new, then check in with your thoughts, emotions, and physical reactions. If you feel happy and excited, that’s a sign that you’re ready. On the other hand, if just the thought of getting back into the game stresses you out or makes you feel tense and anxious, then you may need more time.[12]
    • It’s totally okay if you’re not eager to start dating again right away—even if it’s been a long time since your breakup. There’s nothing wrong with taking some time to relax and enjoy being single!
  2. Step 2 Check in with how you feel about your ex. 2 Check in with how you feel about your ex. After a breakup, you’ll probably have a lot of lingering feelings about your ex for a while. If you still feel really sad, angry, or hurt whenever you think about them, you might need a little more time to process things. Once you can think about them more calmly and feel like you can completely accept what happened, that’s a sign that you’re truly ready to move on.[13]
    • When you think about potential new partners, pay attention to whether you find yourself comparing them to your ex. If you’re able to just focus on how you feel about the new person without bringing your ex into it, that’s a good sign that you’re ready to date again.[14]
  3. Step 3 Examine your reasons for wanting to date again. 3 Examine your reasons for wanting to date again. Dating someone because you enjoy their company is a great reason. You might also be ready to start dating again if you’re excited about the idea of meeting and socializing with new people. On the other hand, you may need more time if your reasons for dating again are all focused on your feelings about your last relationship or your breakup. For example, ask yourself things like:[15]
    • Am I just trying to make my ex jealous right now?
    • Do I want to date this person because I like them, or do I just want someone else to make me feel attractive and desirable again?
    • Am I really into the idea of dating them, or am I going out with them because I’m lonely and trying to fill the void my ex left behind?
  4. Step 4 Ask yourself if you feel self-confident. 4 Ask yourself if you feel self-confident. Feeling good about yourself is a sign you’re ready to date again. It’s easy to feel down about yourself after a breakup—especially if you blame yourself for whatever went wrong. Before you dive back into the dating game, take time to assess your self-image. The more confident and self-assured you are, the easier it will be to build satisfying, healthy relationships moving forward.[16] If you’re not feeling great about yourself right now, that’s okay. There are lots of things you can do to boost your confidence, such as:
    • Practicing daily self-kindness meditation.[17]
    • Making a list of things you’ve accomplished or things you like about yourself.[18]
    • Setting realistic, achievable goals for yourself and working towards them.
    • Trying a new hobby or learning a new skill.
    • Doing things that feel meaningful and fulfilling to you, such as volunteering to help people in need in your community.
  5. Step 5 Look at whether you have a strong support system. 5 Look at whether you have a strong support system. A breakup can feel very isolating, especially if you didn’t have much of a support system outside of your relationship. If you already have friends and family to turn to, you’ll be in a better place to move on. If you don’t have other people in your life who you can trust and rely on, spend some time building those relationships before you try to find a new romantic partner.[19]
    • A support group for people struggling with breakups or relationship issues can be a great place to meet new people who understand what you’re going through.
    • Taking up a new social hobby is another good way to build new friendships. Look for clubs, groups, or classes in your area that focus on activities you enjoy.
    • Not only will having a few good friends improve your self-confidence, but you’ll also have people to turn to if you ever have to go through another breakup.
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Join the Discussion...

How long will it take to get over my breakup? WikiGladeWhisperer804 WikiGladeWhisperer804 My girlfriend and I broke up 2 months ago, and it still feels like it just happened yesterday. I can't believe she's gone. I don't know what to do anymore. Anyone who has gone through a breakup like this, how long did it take you to get over it? What did you do to move on? Any advice is appreciated. Thank you. Read More Amy Chan Amy Chan Relationship Coach Research shows that the feelings of pain of a romantic rejection usually fade over about six months to two years. It makes sense: studies show that recently broken-up singles show activity in the same part of the brain as a drug user fiending for a fix. The brain is literally in withdrawal. And people with an anxious attachment style often take breakups harder than those with a secure or avoidant attachment style. To move on from a breakup means to process the emotions of the relationship in a healthy way. Processing is very different from suppressing, distracting, or avoiding your emotions. Processing means allowing yourself to feel your emotions, allowing time for healing, and then reflecting on the lessons you can learn to grow from the experience. Know the difference between processing and wallowing. The former means you feel the emotions and use self-care, self-compassion, and support to return to equilibrium. It means knowing you have agency over your destiny and that even though it's painful and uncomfortable, you will get back up. Wallowing is when you see the situation through the lens of a victim and that you are helpless in your circumstance. When you are stuck in victimization, you are not processing, you're prolonging your suffering.You'll know that you've 'moved on' when you no longer feel an emotional charge towards your ex or the breakup, and when you've accepted reality as is. Read More Anonymous WikiBird Anonymous WikiBird Break ups suck. I also broke up with my boyfriend 2 months ago and I was in a lot of pain. At first, I let myself wallow when I missed him because I wanted myself to feel and process the emotions. I think it was helpful to let that all out. Now when I miss him, I remind myself why the two of us didn't work out and reassure myself that letting go of him was the only way I could open myself up to having a relationship where all my needs are met. I know it hurts now but I trust that one day I will get to experience that fulfilling love. Read More See all 7 Replies and Read Discussion

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Tips

  • Be cautious about casual hookups and one-night stands right after a breakup. Even brief flings can be emotionally complicated, and if you’re still reeling from your breakup, you might not want to bring even more difficult feelings into the mix. Thanks Helpful 1 Not Helpful 0
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References

  1. ↑ https://www.nbcnews.com/better/lifestyle/how-mourn-breakup-so-you-can-truly-move-ncna1034181
  2. ↑ Sarah Schewitz, PsyD. Relationship Coach. Expert Interview
  3. ↑ Sarah Schewitz, PsyD. Relationship Coach. Expert Interview
  4. ↑ https://www.nbcnews.com/better/lifestyle/how-mourn-breakup-so-you-can-truly-move-ncna1034181
  5. ↑ https://www.healthychildren.org/English/family-life/family-dynamics/types-of-families/Pages/Dating-After-Divorce.aspx
  6. ↑ Sarah Schewitz, PsyD. Relationship Coach. Expert Interview
  7. ↑ https://health.clevelandclinic.org/grieving-after-a-break-up-6-strategies-to-help-you-heal/
  8. ↑ Sarah Schewitz, PsyD. Relationship Coach. Expert Interview
  9. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/lifetime-connections/201912/after-breakup-when-should-you-begin-dating-again
More References (10)
  1. ↑ https://www.nbcnews.com/better/lifestyle/how-mourn-breakup-so-you-can-truly-move-ncna1034181
  2. ↑ Stefanie Safran. Dating Coach & Matchmaker. Expert Interview
  3. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/lifetime-connections/201912/after-a-breakup-when-should-you-begin-dating-again
  4. ↑ https://www.nbcnews.com/better/lifestyle/how-mourn-breakup-so-you-can-truly-move-ncna1034181
  5. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/lifetime-connections/201912/after-breakup-when-should-you-begin-dating-again
  6. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/lifetime-connections/201912/after-breakup-when-should-you-begin-dating-again
  7. ↑ https://www.bbc.com/future/article/20190924-the-benefits-of-rebounding-after-a-break-up
  8. ↑ https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/how_to_become_a_friend_to_yourself
  9. ↑ https://au.reachout.com/articles/how-to-build-self-confidence
  10. ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/articles/grief/dealing-with-a-breakup-or-divorce.htm

About This Article

Sarah Schewitz, PsyD Written by: Sarah Schewitz, PsyD Licensed Psychologist This article was written by Sarah Schewitz, PsyD and by wikiHow staff writer, Aly Rusciano. Sarah Schewitz, Psy.D. is a licensed clinical psychologist by the California Board of Psychology with over 10 years of experience. She received her Psy.D. from the Florida Institute of Technology in 2011. She is the founder of Couples Learn, an online psychology practice helping couples and individuals improve and change their patterns in love and relationships. This article has been viewed 283,866 times. How helpful is this? Co-authors: 7 Updated: October 2, 2025 Views: 283,866 Categories: Breaking Up In other languages Spanish German French Portuguese Vietnamese Dutch Indonesian Turkish Hindi Italian Arabic Thai Japanese
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