How Long Will It Hurt After Having Sex For The First Time?

Skip navigation!ADVERTISEMENTStory from SexADVERTISEMENTHow Long Will It Hurt After Having Sex For The First Time?Elizabeth GulinoLast Updated August 1, 2022, 5:30 PM Photographed by Karen Sofia Colon.Although we've long since acknowledged that virginity is a social construct, there is a first time for everything — including penetrative sex. And your entrance into the world of P-in-V or D-in-V or P-in-A or any other kind of penetration out there can be nerve-wracking, especially since it's so often hyped up as a super-painful experience.Mary Jane Minkin, MD, a practicing OB/GYN and professor at the Yale School of Medicine, tells Refinery29 that the notion that sex always hurts the first time for people with vaginas is mostly mythical. "Embryologically, there is a sheet of tissue that does cover the opening to the vagina. The old myth was that it was always there until you had sex for the first time," she explains. "With modern women being as active as they are, running around, riding bikes, and using tampons, there are very few women who have the hymen still intact."AdvertisementADVERTISEMENTIf it's still around, though, having something enter your vagina might be uncomfortable. Hymens range in thickness; if yours is on the thicker end, it might be a little more painful. But even then, Dr. Minkin says the pain or soreness should only last about an hour or so after sex.Besides the hymen issue, Dr. Minkin said post-sex pain mostly comes down to penetration method. A lot of the porn out there shows the old jackhammer technique. While hard and fast penetration has a time and place, it's not great every time — maybe especially not someone's first time. "Unfortunately, many young people are watching this stuff, and they think that porn sex is normal sex, and that it has to be violent and things like that for it to be real sex," she says. If you're being penetrated with a ton of force, you'll probably feel a bit uncomfortable during or after your first time.Another reason porn shouldn't be seen as the guide book to sex: It almost never shows foreplay. "That's not the way sex should be," Dr. Minkin says. "The equivalent of an erection for a [person with a vagina] is basically lubrication." You most likely know it as "getting wet." "If they're not aroused and are not moist because there's been no foreplay, then it probably will be uncomfortable for them," she says. Having penetrative sex when you're dry, especially for the first time, will be painful during the experience and after.AdvertisementADVERTISEMENT“

While hard and fast penetration has a time and place, it's not great every time — maybe especially not someone's first time.

”The antidote? Using lube — yes, even during your first time. But be on the lookout for lube that works well with condoms (water-based and silicone-based) which yes, you should be using all the time. But lube isn't a substitute for foreplay. Also make sure you and your partner spend some time relaxing together and exploring each other's bodies with your hands and mouths, figuring out what feels good and getting excited about what's ahead.Dr. Minkin says that even if everything goes wrong for your first time, you still should only feel vaginal discomfort for an hour tops. That's true even if the person penetrating you is "exceptionally well-endowed," as the doc puts it. If you're feeling any kind of discomfort for longer, don't be afraid to call or go to the gynecologist just to get yourself checked out.If you're having penetrative anal sex for the first time, Dr. Minkin says you definitely want to be using a condom with a good amount of lubricant. "Most people will find it uncomfortable, at least initially," she says. You may feel discomfort after having anal sex for the first time for a couple of hours, she says.In all, having penetrative sex for the first time shouldn't be so pain-inducing that you're doubling over in agony for an entire day. (If you're ever in that much pain, go to the doctor STAT.) If you take the right approach, you should be feeling completely fine — you might even be ready for another round sooner than you think.AdvertisementADVERTISEMENT HoroscopesBuckle Up! The First Mercury Retrograde Of 2026 Has ArrivedR29 babes — sorry to say this, but the winter blues we’re all feeling aren’t immediately going to get better from Mercury’s backspin in Piby Lisa StardustHoroscopesYour Horoscope This Week: February 22 To 28Cosmic beings, you survived the Aquarius Solar Eclipse and the launch of the Year of the Fire Horse, and honestly… that was a lot. This week shifts the pby Dossé-Via TrenouUnbotheredBlack Grief Practitioners Are Protecting Black Life In DeathLike so many other injustices, Black people face magnified problems in death and dying wellness spaces. These women, aka "death doulas" are working to solvby Stephanie LongAdvertisementADVERTISEMENTHoroscopesPisces Season Is Here — & Drama Is IncomingRejoice! As we enter Pisces season, we’re also getting closer to spring. From February 18th to March 20th, the sun will be splashing around in the enby Lisa StardustHoroscopesYour Horoscope This Week: February 15 To 21R29 babes, this week begins in the dark of the moon, and we can all feel it. In the days leading up to the Aquarius Solar Eclipse, emotions run high beneatby Dossé-Via TrenouHoroscopesEclipse Season Is Here! Here’s How To Get Through ItEclipse season is here! The onset of the annual solar and total lunar eclipse is bringing a fateful chance for us to transform. We are shifting our ideas aby Lisa StardustHoroscopesYour Valentine’s Day Horoscope Is HereHappy Valentine’s Day! This year, we are reflecting on the importance of connection and acceptance — not from others, but from the relationship we haveby Lisa StardustHoroscopesSaturn In Aries Is Here — & It’s Time For You To Take ControlTime stands still for no one, or so the planet Saturn teaches us. Saturn is leading us into Aries on February 13th. As we move onward in life, the austere by Lisa StardustHoroscopesVenus In Pisces Is Here — & Now Let Your Own Fairytale UnfoldIn the midst of all the chaos going on in the world, it’s nice to know that Venus in Pisces is bringing us a fairytale vibe. Venus in Pisces, which lby Lisa StardustHoroscopesYour Horoscope This Week: February 8 To 14Cosmic beings, this week opens with the Last Quarter Moon in Scorpio, a liminal checkpoint between what has already climaxed and what is about to be rebornby Dossé-Via TrenouSin VergüenzaYour 2026 Valentine’s Day Tarot Reading Is Hereby Tatianna TarotHoroscopesYour Horoscope This Week: February 1 To 7Cosmic beings, this week opens loud. The Leo Full Moon on February 1st is not subtle, not chill, and definitely not interested in you playing it cool. Thisby Dossé-Via TrenouAdvertisementADVERTISEMENTADVERTISEMENTADVERTISEMENT