How To Get A Valentine: 15 Steps (with Pictures) - WikiHow

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Terms of Use wikiHow is where trusted research and expert knowledge come together. Learn why people trust wikiHow How to Get a Valentine & Plan the Perfect Date PDF download Download Article Plus, the best places to find potential dates for Valentine's Day Co-authored by Maya Diamond, MA

Last Updated: March 9, 2026 References

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  • Attracting Your Potential Date
  • |
  • Asking Your Date Out for Valentine's Day
  • |
  • Going on a Date
  • |
  • Video
  • |
  • Expert Q&A
  • |
  • Tips
  • |
  • Warnings
|Show more |Show less ARTICLE VIDEO X

This article was co-authored by Maya Diamond, MA. Maya Diamond is a Dating and Relationship Coach in Berkeley, CA. She has 15 years of experience helping singles stuck in frustrating dating patterns find internal security, heal their past, and create healthy, loving, and lasting partnerships. She received her Master's in Somatic Psychology from the California Institute of Integral Studies in 2009. There are 17 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page. This article has been viewed 284,418 times.

The key ingredient to having a great Valentine's Day is to find your perfect Valentine. Sprucing yourself up will get you ready to ask your date out for the big holiday. After you are looking nice, you just have to pick the right time to ask your date out, and build up the right amount of confidence. Go out to dinner, buy your date some roses, and really make this Valentine's Day memorable.

How to Find a Valentine

Throw a single’s party the weekend before Valentine’s Day to find a potential match, or ask your crush on a date directly. You can also go on a blind date or use dating apps to find a valentine.

Steps

Part 1 Part 1 of 3:

Attracting Your Potential Date

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  1. Step 1 Clean yourself up. 1 Clean yourself up. You need to take a nice long shower so that you smell good. Scrub the especially sweaty areas such as between the legs, and under your arms. Wash your hair with both shampoo, and conditioner. You want your hair smooth and soft when your potential partner goes to touch it. Always apply deodorant every morning before you put on your clothes.[1] [2]
    • Consistently brush your teeth. You do not want your breath smelling bad when you go to ask someone out for Valentine's day.
    • Make your you brush or comb your hair. You want to get the knots out, and rid your hair of frizziness.
  2. Step 2 Shave, and maintain your skin. 2 Shave, and maintain your skin. This is probably the most critical aspect of how you appear. The goal is to show your partner that you care about yourself, and them, to maintain how you look. For men, you need to trim your facial, chest, and pubic hair. If you want to leave some hair that is fine, but trim it back, especially the wild hairs. For women, shave underarm and leg hair, and trim/shave/wax pubic hair. Once more, it is not necessary to get rid of it all, but try to get most of it.[3]
    • After you have shaved or trimmed your hair, use lotion on your skin. You want your skin soft and smooth when your partner goes to touch it.
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  3. Step 3 Visit the gym. 3 Visit the gym. This is mostly for people who plan well in advance of Valentine's Day. While some people do not need to go to the gym, others might want to in order to improve their physique. Work with weights, or run on the treadmill. The goal is not to look like a bodybuilder, but to build some tone, and perhaps lose a few pounds.[4] [5]
    • Not only will going to the gym make you more physically fit, but it will also give you a newfound confidence when you ask your potential date out for Valentine's Day.
    • Set a goal a few months ahead of time. For example, you might want to lose ten pounds and sharpen the tone around your stomach.
    • You can also work on changing your diet. Eating fruits and vegetables instead of snacks and junk food can help you quickly lose weight as well.
  4. Step 4 Apply an enticing fragrance. 4 Apply an enticing fragrance. For men this means applying cologne, or aftershave. For women this means applying perfume. The goal is to attract your partner using pheromones. Apply your fragrance onto "pulse points." These "points" are where blood vessels are close to the skin, thereby giving off heat, and spreading the smell better.[6]
    • The key "pulse points" include: behind knees, ankles, around belly button, underneath your armpits, around your neckline, and on your wrists.
    • Only choose one or two, and only use a couple of sprays at most. The less the better. The smell of the fragrance will spread out over time.
  5. Step 5 Dress with style and class. 5 Dress with style and class. This does not mean wearing a suit to school, but it does mean getting those wrinkles out of your clothes, and wearing attire that is flattering to your significant other. Spend time in the morning picking out outfits which match, and showcase your assets. There is no reason to deviate too much from your typical wardrobe, but take extra care when picking out an outfit and it will show.[7] [8]
    • For girls, maybe wear a nice dress. Showing off skin is always an easy way to attract guys.
    • For guys, wear clothes that fit tighter around the body. Show a little chest by unbuttoning the top few buttons of your shirt.
    • For both guys and girls, make sure that your clothes are ironed and don't have any holes in them.
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Part 2 Part 2 of 3:

Asking Your Date Out for Valentine's Day

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  1. Step 1 Engage with your potential date in interesting conversation. 1 Engage with your potential date in interesting conversation. For girls, this might mean talking football with your guy. For guys, this might mean talking about a recent book she has read. Whatever it may be, find what your partner is interested in, and talk about it.[9] This will show your potential date that you care about what interests them.[10]
    • Ask some of their friends what they are into. This way you can study up before you begin to talk to them.
    • Never go overboard. Some people just don't match. If someone has totally different interests than you, you should probably look for someone a bit more familiar.
  2. Step 2 Be confident. 2 Be confident. This is the key to asking your potential partner out on a date. While being shy can be cute, most of the time you will want to exude confidence. Stand up straight, and speak clearly. Look your partner square in the eyes as you ask them "Will you be my Valentine?" or "Would you like to go out on Valentine's Day?"[11] [12]
    • When you ask your date to go out, make sure they are not in a group. With other people around, you can lose confidence.
    • Do not force your partner into panicked positions. For instance, it is not good to pull your potential date aside as they are running to class.
  3. Step 3 Utilize the weekend before Valentine's Day. 3 Utilize the weekend before Valentine's Day. You can throw a single's party so that you can find a potential match. This takes the couples out of the equation. Get a group of friends to come over for hors d'oeuvres and drinks. You can also invite people where you work to come over as well. Keep it light by getting people up and talking.[13]
    • Focus your singles night around a central event. Super Bowl weekend is usually a few days before. This is a great reason to bring people together.[14]
    • Talk with some people, and get their phone numbers. Pick out one which you made a real connection with.
  4. Step 4 Create interesting scenarios. 4 Create interesting scenarios. These are often used for asking dates out to Prom, but they can work for Valentine's Day as well. Buy some glass-friendly markers to write on your potential date's back windshield "Will you be my Valentine? --(insert name)" Send your date "anonymous flowers," asking them out for Valentine's Day on the attached card. The list can go on and on forever, as far as your imagination takes it.
    • The goal is to create a cute, fun way to ask them out. Knowing that you put in a lot of effort may entice your partner to say yes.
    • Another option is making a chain text message. One friend texts "Will," another texts "you," the next texts "be," another texts "my," and you text "Valentine?"
    • Ask to use the intercom at either your school or place of business. Pretend to give the daily announcements and ask her out over the intercom.
  5. Step 5 Buy Valentine's Day related items. 5 Buy Valentine's Day related items. About a month before the holiday, pharmacies and grocery stores will begin selling Valentine's Day candy, flowers, plush animals, etc. Whether you are a guy or a girl, it is great to both give and receive these items. They show, through monetary value, that you care about the other person. They aren't the key to your partner's heart, but they are a great added bonus.[15]
    • You can give your partner these items either on Valentine's Day, or when you ask them out.
    • Make sure you get the items early, as the store could sell out when Valentine's Day approaches. However, order flowers so that they deliver a day before the holiday.
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Part 3 Part 3 of 3:

Going on a Date

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  1. Step 1 Go out to a restaurant. 1 Go out to a restaurant. This is the classic Valentine's Day date. Usually a quieter place works best, like an italian restaurant, rather than a sports bar or club.[16] If you are the man, hold the door open for her, and pull out the chair for your her before they sit down.[17] [18]
    • Another thing to avoid on a first date is the movie theater. Movies separate your eyes and dim the conversation, when you want and need the opposite.
    • Make sure to hold your partner's hand at some point during the date.
  2. Step 2 Set up a romantic date at home. 2 Set up a romantic date at home. This is a great option if you think that there is a high chance of intimacy. Cook a nice dinner from scratch which your date will certainly appreciate. Decorate the dining room with rose pedals, and place some roses in a vase on the dinner table. You can even have some romantic music playing in the background.[19] [20]
    • Dim the lights in the dining room. This will create a more solemn and romantic occasion.
    • Position both chairs ahead of time so that you are either sitting directly across, or next to your date.
    • If you are thinking that your date will get more intimate as the night goes along, you can drop rose pedals through the hallway and onto your bed.
  3. Step 3 Get a group together. 3 Get a group together. You can go to a restaurant, or all go to the movies. This is a great chance to get closer to someone you like, without the intense intimacy of a solo Valentine's Day date. You can sit next to your significant other without feeling that it has to get more serious.[21]
    • Talk with your friends beforehand. Mention to them that you want to get closer to your date so they're aware of the situation.
    • If you are in the movies, you can hold hands if you like.
  4. Step 4 Participate in a blind date. 4 Participate in a blind date. If you just can't find someone to go out with, and you don't want to spend Valentine's Day alone, blind dates can be great options. Search online, or in your local newspaper, to find blind date events nearby. These are much more prevalent around the holiday. Decide whether you want to go on a singular blind date, or if you want to participate in speed dating. [22]
    • For singular blind dates, you will want to bring some roses to give your date.
    • Since you have never met the person before, spend time getting to know them at a restaurant.
    • Ask them questions about where they are from, what they like to do for fun, and what are their plans for the future.
    • Speed dating is mostly an exercise in having fun. Come in with an open mind.
    • Do not expect intimacy with these types of dates. While sex does occur sometimes, remember that you have never met each other before.
  5. Step 5 Use mobile apps to find a date. 5 Use mobile apps to find a date. This is similar to a blind date, except that you get to prescreen your potential dates. You can always post on a social networking site that you are lonely, and looking for a date on Valentine's Day.[23] There are also popular apps such as Tinder and Grindr which can be used to find a potential match.[24] [25]
    • Properly vet each potential Valentine's Day date. If someone seems sketchy or inauthentic, it's best to find someone else.
    • Dating apps are best saved as a last resort. People you know in your real life are going to be much easier to get romantically close with.
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Expert Q&A

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  • Question What are some good ideas for fun Valentine's dates? Maya Diamond, MA Maya Diamond, MA Relationship Coach Maya Diamond is a Dating and Relationship Coach in Berkeley, CA. She has 15 years of experience helping singles stuck in frustrating dating patterns find internal security, heal their past, and create healthy, loving, and lasting partnerships. She received her Master's in Somatic Psychology from the California Institute of Integral Studies in 2009. Maya Diamond, MA Maya Diamond, MA Relationship Coach Expert Answer Plan something romantic, like a sunset picnic, a trip to the beach, or a night out at their favorite restaurant. Thanks! We're glad this was helpful. Thank you for your feedback. If wikiHow has helped you, please consider a small contribution to support us in helping more readers like you. We’re committed to providing the world with free how-to resources, and even $1 helps us in our mission. Support wikiHow Yes No Not Helpful 10 Helpful 5
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Tips

  • Be persistent without being overbearing. Talk with your potential date for a while before you ask him or her out. If they initially reject you, perhaps try again a month or two later. Thanks Helpful 1 Not Helpful 0
  • It's best to avoid asking over text, as these situations can create awkwardness and lead to misunderstandings. Thanks Helpful 1 Not Helpful 0
  • Always ask them to choose the destination first. This is good manners and will give them some say. If they can't decide, and only if they can't decide, you can choose. Thanks Helpful 1 Not Helpful 0
Show More Tips Submit a Tip All tip submissions are carefully reviewed before being published Name Please provide your name and last initial Submit Thanks for submitting a tip for review! Advertisement

Warnings

  • Be careful with whom you choose to go out with. This is especially true with blind dates, or dating through mobile apps, where people are known to create false or misleading profiles. Thanks Helpful 4 Not Helpful 0
  • Your potential date may say no. Be prepared for rejection, even if you are almost certain they will say yes. Thanks Helpful 2 Not Helpful 0
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References

  1. https://www.mouthhealthy.org/all-topics-a-z/brushing-your-teeth/
  2. http://www.philipkingsley.com/hair-guide/hair-care-styling/shampooing-your-hair-correctly/
  3. http://www.artofmanliness.com/2011/05/24/what-to-wear-on-a-first-date/
  4. http://www.midlifebachelor.com/articles/no-date-on-valentines-day.html
  5. http://www.yourtango.com/experts/joe-amoia/5-ways-find-date-valentine-s-day
  6. http://www.marieclaire.com/beauty/news/a15034/where-to-apply-perfume/
  7. http://www.hercampus.com/love/dating-hooking/10-ways-get-date-valentines-day
  8. https://theeverygirl.com/what-to-wear-on-a-first-date-we-asked-the-experts/
  9. Maya Diamond, MA. Relationship Coach. Expert Interview
More References (16)
  1. http://www.hercampus.com/love/dating-hooking/10-ways-get-date-valentines-day
  2. http://www.hercampus.com/love/dating-hooking/10-ways-get-date-valentines-day
  3. http://www.lovepanky.com/men/attracting-and-dating-women/things-to-talk-about-with-your-girlfriend
  4. http://www.midlifebachelor.com/articles/no-date-on-valentines-day.html
  5. http://www.yourtango.com/experts/joe-amoia/5-ways-find-date-valentine-s-day
  6. http://www.rd.com/advice/relationships/best-valentines-day-gifts/
  7. Maya Diamond, MA. Relationship Coach. Expert Interview
  8. https://www.mensjournal.com/food-drink/americas-20-best-date-restaurants
  9. http://www.lovepanky.com/flirting-flings/get-flirty/romantic-dinner-date-ideas-for-two
  10. http://www.southernliving.com/food/holidays-occasions/romantic-dinner-ideas
  11. http://www.askmen.com/top_10/dating/top-10-stay-home-date-ideas.html
  12. http://www.hercampus.com/love/dating-hooking/10-ways-get-date-valentines-day
  13. https://www.datingadvice.com/for-men/the-benefits-and-downsides-of-blind-dates
  14. Maya Diamond, MA. Relationship Coach. Expert Interview
  15. http://www.midlifebachelor.com/articles/no-date-on-valentines-day.html
  16. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/02/11/valentines-day-apps_n_2662429.html

About This Article

Maya Diamond, MA Co-authored by: Maya Diamond, MA Relationship Coach This article was co-authored by Maya Diamond, MA. Maya Diamond is a Dating and Relationship Coach in Berkeley, CA. She has 15 years of experience helping singles stuck in frustrating dating patterns find internal security, heal their past, and create healthy, loving, and lasting partnerships. She received her Master's in Somatic Psychology from the California Institute of Integral Studies in 2009. This article has been viewed 284,418 times. 3 votes - 73% Co-authors: 44 Updated: March 9, 2026 Views: 284,418 Categories: Getting a Date In other languagesJapanese
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