How To Give A Lap Dance (with Pictures) - WikiHow

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How to Give Your Partner a Sexy Lap Dance (Without Feeling Awkward) Download Article Turn on your partner with these seductive dance moves Co-authored by Stephanie Jeronymo and Bailey Cho

Last Updated: January 7, 2026 Fact Checked

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• Setting the Mood
|
• Giving the Lap Dance
|
• Extra Moves to Turn On Your Partner
|
• Video
|
• Expert Q&A
|
• Tips

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This article was co-authored by Stephanie Jeronymo and by wikiHow staff writer, Bailey Cho. Stephanie Jeronymo is an exotic dancer, pole dancer, and pole dance instructor. With nearly 10 years of experience, Stephanie is a travel dancer who goes by Athena the Goddess. She has danced in over sixty clubs across the United States and Guam. In addition to dancing, she is a certified pole dance instructor and coaches dancers on how to hustle in clubs, maximize their income, and invest in their future. There are 11 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page. This article has been fact-checked, ensuring the accuracy of any cited facts and confirming the authority of its sources. This article has been viewed 2,120,525 times.

Looking to spice up your sex life or surprise your partner on a special occasion? Giving a lap dance is one of the best ways to crank up the heat and build sexual tension. Luckily, it’s a lot easier than it seems, and as long as you feel sexy and confident, your partner will love it! In this article, we’ll teach you how to give an unforgettable lap dance that drives your partner wild. We also spoke with professional dancer instructors for tips on how to move your body and feel confident.

How Do I Give a Lap Dance?

1. Pick a sexy song to set the mood and dim the lights in the room.
2. Wear an outfit that makes you feel sexy and can be removed easily.
3. Sit your partner in a comfortable chair and slowly circle around them.
4. Lower yourself onto your partner’s lap, and slowly roll your hips in circles.
5. Turn away from your partner, sitback on their lap, and grind against their body.
6. Caress your body, or moan and whisper in your partner's ear to crank up the heat.

Steps

Section 1 of 3:

Setting the Mood

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1. 1 Wear an outfit that makes you feel sexy. This could be a form-fitting dress, leggings and a sports bra, lingerie, high heels, or anything else that makes you feel sexy and confident. Just make sure it emphasizes your best features and lets you move around comfortably.[1]
   • If you decide to combine your lap dance with a strip tease, find something you can get in and out of easily, such as a babydoll dress or nightie.
   • When it comes to buying well-fitting lingerie, make sure you choose the right bra that fits well. A black lace lingerie set with a garter belt and stockings looks super flattering, and can be a great way to cover up areas you feel self-conscious about![2]
2. 2 Create a sexy playlist that riles you up. Choose 1 to 3 songs that are sexy enough to set the mood, but upbeat enough for you to dance to.[3] A typical lap dance lasts between 6 to 8 minutes, but if you’re doing it right, your partner will probably want to cut it short! Here are some some sexy songs that are perfect for a lap dance:
   • “Pour It Up” by Rihanna
   • “Cherry Pie” by Warrant
   • “Not Enough Time” by INXS
   • “Say it Right” by Nelly Furtado
   • “So Alive” by Love and Rockets
   • “All That Matters” by Justin Bieber
   • “2 On” by Tinashe and ScHoolboy Q
   • “Motivation” by Kelly Rowland and Lil Wayne
   • “Sexyback” by Justin Timberlake and Timbaland
   • “Cream” by Prince and The New Power Generation
   • “One of the Girls” by The Weeknd, JENNIE, and Lily-Rose Depp
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3. 3 Dim the lights to set the tone. Lap dances are sexier if you're not performing under harsh light.[4] Turn down the lights in your home, throw a scarf or cloth over your brighter lamps, and light some candles for a soft, warm glow. The lights should be bright enough so your partner can see you working your body, but not so bright that they can see every little freckle on your face.
   • If possible, install dimmer switches on your regular lights so you can change the ambience of the room with just a quick adjustment. Dimmer light is flattering, sexy, and really sets the tone!
4. 4 Sit your partner in a sturdy and comfortable chair. Pick a chair with thick, sturdy legs and a high and reliable back. Make sure the chair can hold the weight of both you and your partner, and is comfortable enough so your partner won’t have to shift around while you dance.
   • Choose a chair without armrests, since the arms can get in the way of your dance.
   • Tell your partner to sit in a comfortable position, with their legs slightly spread open.
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Section 2 of 3:

Giving the Lap Dance

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1. 1 Start the music and strut into the room. Enter the room like a professional who's done a lap dance a million times and knows they're great at it. Walk with one foot in front of the other, with your back straight and your shoulders high. Start moving your hips up and down, and slowly gliding your hands along your body to give your partner a taste of what's to come. Remember, you can take your time and slowly ease into your performance—think of song one as a warm up!
   • To be extra seductive, remove an article of clothing before you get closer to your partner.
   • Giving a lap dance may feel extremely nerve-wracking if it’s your first time. Take a few deep breaths before starting, and remind yourself how much your partner wants you.
   • If you’re still feeling nervous, practice performing your lap dance in front of a mirror first to see what makes you look and feel good. Try dancing with different songs and outfits, and watch lap dance videos online for inspiration.[5]
2. 2 Make a seductive expression to turn on your partner. Maintain eye contact with your partner with a teasing smile on your face, then look down at your body from time to time. Your expression reflects the sexy thoughts in your mind and helps create sexual tension.[6]
   • Feel free to part, bite, or lick your lips to look extra sexy.
   • If your back is turned to your partner, glance over your shoulder with a smirk on your face.
   • According to professional dancer and choreographer Hebert Aguilar, the best thing to do is to “smile and have fun” when dancing with someone.[7]
3. 3 Circle the chair, touch your partner, and set the ground rules. Slowly walk around the chair, working your hips up and down to the music. Caress your partner's shoulder, run your fingers down their chest and thighs, and explain the rules to build anticipation.[8] For example, you could say, “no touching until I’m done giving you the best lap dance of your life.”
   • You could even lower your body to the floor when you’re standing in front of them, just to turn up the heat!
4. 4 Sit on your partner’s lap and gyrate your hips. Stand in front of your partner with your chest leaning towards their face and your butt slightly out, then slowly lower yourself onto their lap. Straddle their legs and wrap your arms around their neck for support. Then, roll your hips in a soft circular motion.[9]
   • Alternatively, wrap one leg around the back of the chair and keep one leg on the floor.

   Professional Latin dance instructors Leela Fazzuoli and Daniele Cavallo recommend thinking of the movement of your hips “like the pendulum action of a clock.”[10] Shake your hips from side to side for a sexy and effortless move!

5. 5 Turn away from your partner, sitback on their lap, and grind. Rise to a standing position, then face away from your partner and position yourself between their legs. Slowly bend down to sit on their lap and grind away. You can also gently bounce up and down in your partner’s lap or pop your hips.[11]
   • Feel free to grip onto your partner’s thighs for support.
   • To be extra seductive, look over your shoulder from time to time and make eye contact.
6. 6 Tease your partner throughout the lap dance. When your bodies are close, move your body against your partner’s and lean your face close to theirs. You can grab their hands and move them up and down your body, moan or whisper in their ear, or gradually take off more clothing. Remember, as long as you feel sexy and confident, your partner will love it![12]
   • You could even lean in for a quick kiss on the lips, leaving them wanting more.
7. 7 Unwrap your legs and stand up from your partner’s lap. Lean in towards your partner to make it easier to unhook your legs, then slowly move into a standing position. Push your butt and back out to help you maintain your balance (and look super sexy). Then, place your hands on your partner’s shoulders and playfully push away from them as the song ends.[13]
   • Continue to work your hips and run your hands across your body as you stand. Once you get up, prepare for whatever happens next!
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Section 3 of 3:

Extra Moves to Turn On Your Partner

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1. 1 Bend down like a sex goddess. While you’re standing between your partner’s spread legs, place your hands on their knees, move toward their face, then slowly bend down until you're moving your body from side to side (with your face near their stomach). Place your hands on their sides for just a second, and then slowly work your way back up.[14]
   • If you’re feeling uncomfortable, think of your performance as a slow and seductive workout session. Stretch, bend over, stroke your arms and neck. Modify poses that you’re familiar with to create your own moves.
2. 2 Do a figure eight motion with your hips. According to professional dancer and instructor William Orrock, “you can get better at rolling [your] hips by practicing a figure 8 motion.” Just “keep your hip rotations between the width of your shoulders and move side to side.”[15] As you do this, you can run your hands down from your neck to your sides, and tilt your pelvis forward and backward.
3. 3 Touch your body and push your partner away. Firmly push your partner back against the chair, and stand in front of them. Move your hands up and down your body, like you're rubbing bubbly soap all over yourself. Focus on being sensual and close your eyes.[16] Pretend you're in the shower if that helps get you in the mood.
   • If your partner tries to reach out for you, gently slap their hand away.
4. 4 Shake your butt. Turn around while you're standing between your partner's legs, and slowly bend down until your hands are near the floor and your booty is near your partner's crotch, stomach, or even all the way up to their face. Twerk, booty pop, or booty clap, then slowly work your way up to a standing position.
   • For a variation, you can put your hands on your partner's knees instead of the floor.
5. 5 Grind on your partner’s lap and bend back. Sit on your partner's lap while keeping one arm around their shoulder. Sweep your free arm behind you, push your chest in front of their face, and lean your head backward. Then, gently move your free hand in a circle like you're riding a bull in slow-motion.
6. 6 Dance behind your partner. If you're feeling really sexy, stand behind the chair, facing the back of your partner's head, and gently lower your chest towards their head. Move your body downward as you caress the area above their waist, and then all the way back up to their face.
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Expert Q&A

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• Question How do I establish that I'm in control? William Orrock Professional Dancer & Instructor William Orrock is a Professional Dancer, Instructor, Group Fitness Instructor, and the Owner of We Evolve Dance. With more than 22 years of experience, he specializes in performance, social dancing instruction, competitive dance preparation, and wedding choreography. William holds a Bachelor's degree in Contemporary Dance with a minor in Choreography from Universidad Las Americas-Chile and a second minor in Acting from Foothill College Acting Conservatory. He is also a national champion in Latin American Dancing, a former dancer for Dancing with the Stars Chile, and a certified judge for ballroom competitions. William Orrock Professional Dancer & Instructor Expert Answer Tell your partner that, for this dance routine, you'll make all the decisions and they'll simply need to follow your lead. Let your natural instincts as the "leader" guide your dance movements and take initiative. Your partner will realize that you are guiding how the dance develops. Thanks! We're glad this was helpful. Thank you for your feedback. If wikiHow has helped you, please consider a small contribution to support us in helping more readers like you. We’re committed to providing the world with free how-to resources, and even $1 helps us in our mission. Support wikiHow Yes No Not Helpful 16 Helpful 56
• Question How do I choose the best song for my dance number? William Orrock Professional Dancer & Instructor William Orrock is a Professional Dancer, Instructor, Group Fitness Instructor, and the Owner of We Evolve Dance. With more than 22 years of experience, he specializes in performance, social dancing instruction, competitive dance preparation, and wedding choreography. William holds a Bachelor's degree in Contemporary Dance with a minor in Choreography from Universidad Las Americas-Chile and a second minor in Acting from Foothill College Acting Conservatory. He is also a national champion in Latin American Dancing, a former dancer for Dancing with the Stars Chile, and a certified judge for ballroom competitions. William Orrock Professional Dancer & Instructor Expert Answer Think about songs that you're most passionate about. Remember—these songs don't have to be popular hits. Simply choose music that you and your partner can get carried away with. It's also a wonderful idea to choose songs that help you "feel the rhythm" and that you feel confident about dancing to. Thanks! We're glad this was helpful. Thank you for your feedback. If wikiHow has helped you, please consider a small contribution to support us in helping more readers like you. We’re committed to providing the world with free how-to resources, and even $1 helps us in our mission. Support wikiHow Yes No Not Helpful 5 Helpful 37
• Question What if my partner wants me to do the lap dance naked? Community Answer If you are not comfortable with this, then tell him\her, and offer to go out and buy a sexy outfit for the dance. If you are comfortable doing it, then go ahead! Either way, your partner should respect your feelings. Thanks! We're glad this was helpful. Thank you for your feedback. If wikiHow has helped you, please consider a small contribution to support us in helping more readers like you. We’re committed to providing the world with free how-to resources, and even $1 helps us in our mission. Support wikiHow Yes No Not Helpful 73 Helpful 413

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Tips

• If you want to be extra naughty, kiss your partner on the cheek and put your clothes back on at the end of your lap dance. Thanks Helpful 0 Not Helpful 0
• Use your surroundings while you’re dancing. For example, you could straddle a spare chair in the room or use it to prop up your leg and seductively remove a stocking. Thanks Helpful 0 Not Helpful 0
• To turn up the heat, incorporate toys or accessories into your performance. You could blindfold your partner, loop a tie around their neck, or tease them with a silky wrap. Thanks Helpful 1 Not Helpful 0

Show More Tips Submit a Tip All tip submissions are carefully reviewed before being published Name Please provide your name and last initial Submit Thanks for submitting a tip for review! Advertisement

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References

1. ↑ https://youtu.be/P2gk6Sz8dd8?t=118
2. ↑ https://www.cosmopolitan.com/uk/love-sex/sex/tips/a14214/dita-von-teese-striptease-tips/
3. ↑ https://youtu.be/P2gk6Sz8dd8?t=86
4. ↑ https://www.cosmopolitan.com/uk/love-sex/sex/tips/a14214/dita-von-teese-striptease-tips/
5. ↑ Stephanie Jeronymo. Exotic Dancer, Pole Dancer and Instructor. Expert Interview
6. ↑ https://www.bucksclubs.com/bucks-cabaret/blog/how-to-give-a-lap-dance/
7. ↑ Hebert Aguilar. Professional Dancer & Choreographer. Expert Interview
8. ↑ https://www.bucksclubs.com/bucks-cabaret/blog/how-to-give-a-lap-dance/
9. ↑ https://www.bucksclubs.com/bucks-cabaret/blog/how-to-give-a-lap-dance/

More References (7)

10. ↑ Leela Fazzuoli & Daniele Cavallo. Professional Latin Dance Instructors. Expert Interview
11. ↑ https://youtu.be/P2gk6Sz8dd8?t=272
12. ↑ https://www.killingkittens.com/blog/how-to-give-a-sexy-lap-dance/
13. ↑ https://www.bucksclubs.com/bucks-cabaret/blog/how-to-give-a-lap-dance/
14. ↑ https://youtu.be/P2gk6Sz8dd8?t=382
15. ↑ William Orrock. Professional Dancer & Instructor. Expert Interview
16. ↑ https://www.bucksclubs.com/bucks-cabaret/blog/how-to-give-a-lap-dance/

About This Article

Co-authored by: Stephanie Jeronymo Exotic Dancer, Pole Dancer and Instructor This article was co-authored by Stephanie Jeronymo and by wikiHow staff writer, Bailey Cho. Stephanie Jeronymo is an exotic dancer, pole dancer, and pole dance instructor. With nearly 10 years of experience, Stephanie is a travel dancer who goes by Athena the Goddess. She has danced in over sixty clubs across the United States and Guam. In addition to dancing, she is a certified pole dance instructor and coaches dancers on how to hustle in clubs, maximize their income, and invest in their future. This article has been viewed 2,120,525 times. 16 votes - 88% Co-authors: 51 Updated: January 7, 2026 Views: 2,120,525 Categories: Dance Careers Article SummaryX

If you want to give a lap dance, the most important thing is to be confident so you exude sexiness. With your partner sitting in a chair, start your dance by casually circling them and caressing their shoulder as you strut. Now that you’ve got the mood going, you can lower yourself onto their lap and move your body up and down. After dancing on your partner’s lap, you can tease them a little more by standing up and spreading their legs. While standing in between their legs, you can put your hands on their knees and move closer to their face. As you move your body from side to side, you can also lower yourself so your face is near their stomach and then slowly work your way back up. For more tips, including how to show off your moves by bending backward during a lap dance, scroll down! Did this summary help you?YesNo

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Reader Success Stories

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  James Newitt

  Feb 4, 2017

  "Using my body to seamlessly morph from the "butt out" position to the "confident walk away" was..." more

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Yes No Advertisement Cookies make wikiHow better. By continuing to use our site, you agree to our cookie policy. Co-authored by: Stephanie Jeronymo Exotic Dancer, Pole Dancer and Instructor Co-authors: 51 Updated: January 7, 2026 Views: 2,120,525 88% of readers found this article helpful. 16 votes - 88% Click a star to add your vote

James Newitt

Feb 4, 2017

"Using my body to seamlessly morph from the "butt out" position to the "confident walk away" was..." more

Mercy Jonea

Dec 13, 2016

"This article worked well for me. I gave a sexy lap dance to my significant other, he loved it. Then he asked me..." more

Hazel Robinsom

Sep 17, 2022

"This really helped me as I am trying to give a lap dance to my current partner and this gave me a few ideas."

Navia Gold

Jun 27, 2016

"This is amazing. Maybe you could add afterwards it's a good time to have sex (but remember to use condoms)."

Anonymous

Nov 14, 2016

"It makes a lot of sense, however you need someone on the chair for a lap dance and not an empty chair." Share yours! More success stories Hide success stories

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