How To Give Someone A Hickey: 15 Steps (with Pictures) - WikiHow

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Terms of Use wikiHow is where trusted research and expert knowledge come together. Learn why people trust wikiHow How to Give Someone a Hickey

Download Article Explore this Article parts 1 Understanding Hickeys 2 Making Your Mark 3 Hiding a Hickey Other Sections Questions & Answers VideoWATCH NOW Tips and Warnings Related Articles References Article Summary Reviewed by John Keegan

Last Updated: September 9, 2025 Fact Checked

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This article was reviewed by John Keegan. John Keegan is a Dating Coach and motivational speaker based in New York City. With over 10 years of professional experience, he runs The Awakened Lifestyle, where he uses his expertise in dating, attraction, and social dynamics to help people find love. He teaches and holds dating workshops internationally, from Los Angeles to London and from Rio de Janeiro to Prague. His work has been featured in the New York Times, Humans of New York, and Men's Health. There are 8 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page. This article has been fact-checked, ensuring the accuracy of any cited facts and confirming the authority of its sources. This article has been viewed 16,137,061 times.

Giving your partner a hickey in the middle of a passionate make-out session can feel amazing, as well as playfully mark them as "yours." But how do you actually give someone a hickey, and what’s the best technique? We’ll walk you through everything you need to know about hickeys—what they look like, what they feel like, and how you can become a hickey expert.

Steps

Part 1 Part 1 of 3:

Understanding Hickeys

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1 Know what a hickey is. A hickey, also known as a "love bite" or "kiss mark" is essentially a bruise caused by sucking or aggressively kissing another person's skin. It is initially red in color, due to broken blood vessels beneath the skin. It will later turn purple or dark brown as it heals.[1]
2 Understand why you would want to give someone a hickey. Hickeys are a mark of passion. They are often done in the heat of the moment. Contrary to popular belief, hickeys should be shared as a token of physical affirmation and pleasure as opposed to showing ownership over a partner.[2]
3 Always ask for permission first. A hickey is a sexual mark, which makes it inappropriate for school, work, or visiting grandparents. Some people may wish to avoid the embarrassment of being caught with a hickey, so it is important to check in with whoever is receiving the hickey to see what they are comfortable with.
- In addition, receiving a hickey can be somewhat painful, which is a mood killer for some people. However, some people enjoy this aspect of the experience.

Part 2 Part 2 of 3:

Making Your Mark

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1 Build up the tension. Don't just dive directly onto your partner's neck and go in for the hickey. Spend some time kissing and French kissing first, then move your lips to your partner's throat. Start with light kisses, then move into harder and more insistent kisses around the throat and collarbone. If your partner seems to enjoy it, you're probably clear to move into giving a hickey, but you should always check in with them first.
- "Hickey" isn't the sexiest word to whisper into someone's ear, so if you've avoided asking for permission until now, you should mention that you'd like to leave a mark on your partner's skin and see how they respond.
2 Hickeys work on any skin type, and any section of the body. They are usually found on the neck. However, the skin in the crook of your elbow or on the inner thigh are also pleasurable locations.
- If you know your partner would be extremely embarrassed at having a visible hickey, don't just put it in the middle of the throat where anyone can see, and ask them where the most comfortable location is.
- The side or the back of the neck is a good bet if your partner has long hair, or you could go to the collarbones, closer to the shoulder, so the skin can be covered by a regular crew-neck T-shirt.
3 Part your lips slightly, and place them on the skin. Imagine you are making the letter "O" with your lips, then press them firmly onto your partner's skin so that you can make a good seal, without leaving any gaps for the air to escape. Try to keep your mouth soft and inviting as you do this, instead of going into a hard pucker.[3]
4 Suck the skin. The key here is to suck hard enough to break the capillaries just beneath the skin, but not so hard that you cause your partner too much pain. You will need to suck for 20 to 30 seconds in order to make a mark. Remember:
- Keep your teeth out of the way. You don't want them digging painfully into your partner's skin. Teeth can be used lightly to intensify the pleasure of the experience if that is what your partner desires.
- Break up the sucking. If 30 solid seconds of hickey-making strikes you as too weird, try 10 seconds, some kissing, then another 10 seconds in the same spot, and so on.
- Control the amount of spit in your mouth. You don't want to be leaving a creepy drip of slobber on your partner's neck as you give a hickey, so try to swallow back any excess.
5 End it smoothly. When you're done sucking, try laying a few gentle kisses on the area, which probably feels more sensitive now. Resume making out as usual.
6 Wait a few minutes for the visible hickey to appear. Just as when you get a bruise, you won't be able to see the hickey immediately. It should show up after 5 or 10 minutes, and could be anywhere from light pink to dark purple.
7 Make it darker if this is something your partner would like. To achieve this, return to the same spot and repeat the process again. Or move to another location if requested.
8 Stop if you're asked to. Maybe your partner thinks they're cool with having a hickey, but they hate the way that it feels while you're doing it. Or your partner decides they can't risk their parents or employer seeing the mark. Always respect your partner's wishes if they say "no," even if you've already started the process. A hickey is sometimes seen as a mark of trust, so abusing that trust is not okay.

Part 3 Part 3 of 3:

Hiding a Hickey

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1 Use concealer. A little heavy make-up or concealer can be pretty effective for covering up a hickey. Just make sure you get a color that matches your skin tone, and to blend it in. [4] X Research source
- Stage make up is extra thick and heavy, so you may resort to that if you're trying to conceal a real whopper.
2 Wear a scarf. A scarf is your best friend when attempting to conceal a hickey on your neck, as a scarf is a fashionable item which no one will question you wearing (unless it's 100 degrees outside). Wrap the scarf strategically around your neck, and make sure to check it in a mirror from time to time to make sure the material hasn't moved, leaving your hickey exposed.[5] X Research source
- Other options for covering a neck hickey include wearing a turtleneck (again, when weather conditions allow) or wearing your hair down, if it's long enough.
3 Cover it with a band aid. A band aid will effectively cover up a hickey and give it time to heal away from the prying eyes of the world.
4 Try to speed up the healing. Arnica cream is said to speed up the healing of bruises, so it may also be effective for clearing up hickeys. There are numerous other home remedies that supposedly help to speed up healing, such as applying an ice pack, rubbing the hickey with a comb, scraping the hickey with a coin and covering the hickey with toothpaste.[6] X Research source
- All of these methods, and more, are outlined in the article How to Remove a Hickey.

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Question What’s the best place to give someone a hickey? wikiHow Staff Editor Staff Answer This answer was written by one of our trained team of researchers who validated it for accuracy and comprehensiveness. wikiHow Staff Editor Staff Answer You can give someone a hickey anywhere you like, as long as they’re okay with it. If they want to be able to hide the hickey, do it in a place that will be covered by their clothes or hair. Thanks! We're glad this was helpful. Thank you for your feedback. If wikiHow has helped you, please consider a small contribution to support us in helping more readers like you. We’re committed to providing the world with free how-to resources, and even $1 helps us in our mission. Support wikiHow Yes No Not Helpful 242 Helpful 648
Question Do hickeys feel good? wikiHow Staff Editor Staff Answer This answer was written by one of our trained team of researchers who validated it for accuracy and comprehensiveness. wikiHow Staff Editor Staff Answer This can vary from one person to another. For many people, hickeys are pleasurable, or at least painless. However, some people might find them a little bit painful—although not everyone considers that to be a drawback! Experiment with your partner to discover what works for both of you. Thanks! We're glad this was helpful. Thank you for your feedback. If wikiHow has helped you, please consider a small contribution to support us in helping more readers like you. We’re committed to providing the world with free how-to resources, and even $1 helps us in our mission. Support wikiHow Yes No Not Helpful 145 Helpful 548
Question Are hickeys dangerous? wikiHow Staff Editor Staff Answer This answer was written by one of our trained team of researchers who validated it for accuracy and comprehensiveness. wikiHow Staff Editor Staff Answer Typically, hickeys are not dangerous. However, someone with an active oral herpes infection or open cold sore may be able to pass the virus to their partner while giving them a hickey. In rare cases, hickeys can also cause mild scarring. Thanks! We're glad this was helpful. Thank you for your feedback. If wikiHow has helped you, please consider a small contribution to support us in helping more readers like you. We’re committed to providing the world with free how-to resources, and even $1 helps us in our mission. Support wikiHow Yes No Not Helpful 148 Helpful 464

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Tips

To heal a hickey faster, put a wet spoon in the freezer. When it has iced over, take it out and let it thaw a bit until it's nice and cool. Press the spoon against your hickey to cut the swelling.[7] Then use a soft toothbrush and swipe the hickey from the outside in to get the blood flowing and to heal the capillaries. Thanks Helpful 177 Not Helpful 51
Always remember to be gentle and try your best not to hurt your boyfriend/girlfriend. Thanks Helpful 241 Not Helpful 58
Bite a little bit if you feel comfortable. Just a little nip. That's also something someone might not enjoy, so watch for signs of discomfort, or it could be extremely sexy and just pick up the romance further. Thanks Helpful 142 Not Helpful 39

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Tips from our Readers

The advice in this section is based on the lived experiences of wikiHow readers like you. If you have a helpful tip you’d like to share on wikiHow, please submit it in the field below.

When I first started out giving hickey, I wasn't sucking hard enough. Suck harder than you think you'll need to suck but not so hard that it hurts your partner. Pay attention to their reaction. If they don't seem like they're enjoying it, ease up. You should feel the skin being sucked slightly up in order for the hickey to actually show up.
The skin on your arm is thicker than the skin on your partner's neck, so if you're having trouble with getting a hickey to show up on your arm that doesn't necessarily mean you'll have trouble giving your partner a hickey on their neck. Try sucking harder.
Something that helped me gauge if I was sucking hard enough is that you should feel the skin pulling up a little.

Submit a Tip All tip submissions are carefully reviewed before being published Name Please provide your name and last initial Submit Thanks for submitting a tip for review!

Warnings

Skip the hickey if your partner has hemophilia.[8] Also, be aware that if your partner is anemic, the hickey might be much bigger and more noticeable. Thanks Helpful 304 Not Helpful 44
Receiving a hickey can be painful. If you're the recipient, and you don’t like the way it feels, pull away and tell your partner to stop. Thanks Helpful 271 Not Helpful 62

How toGive a Girl a Hickey

How toKiss Your Partner's Neck Remove a Hickey

10 Ways to Get Rid of a Hickey Fast Hide a Hickey

How to Cover a Hickey Quickly: Best Makeup Tricks & Home Remedies Get Rid of a Hickey Fast

How to Remove Hickeys ASAP (With Expert Healing Tips) Identify a Hickey

How to Spot a Hickey (8 Telltale Signs)

3 Simple Ways to Fake a Hickey

How toKiss in a Variety of Ways

How toBite Someone's Lip Excuses for Hickeys

Best Excuses to Use to Explain Away a Hickey

DiscussionHow can I make a hickey go away fast?

How toKiss Passionately

How toMake Out What Are Different Ways to Kiss Your Boyfriend

24 Different Ways to Kiss Your Boyfriend (and Be a Better Kisser)

References

↑ https://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=18991487
↑ http://www.romanceclass.com/miscr/howto/hickey.asp
↑ https://www.cosmopolitan.com/sexopedia/a12444009/hickey-kiss-mark-neck/
↑ http://www.cosmopolitan.com/hairstyles-beauty/beauty-blog/how-to-get-rid-of-hickey
↑ https://www.rookiemag.com/2016/09/life-skill-how-to-hide-a-hickey/
↑ http://allwomenstalk.com/10-ways-to-get-rid-of-a-hickey
↑ https://www.self.com/story/internet-hickey-hacks
↑ https://stepsforliving.hemophilia.org/next-step-kids/social-life-kids/dating-kids

About This Article

Reviewed by: John Keegan Dating Coach This article was reviewed by John Keegan. John Keegan is a Dating Coach and motivational speaker based in New York City. With over 10 years of professional experience, he runs The Awakened Lifestyle, where he uses his expertise in dating, attraction, and social dynamics to help people find love. He teaches and holds dating workshops internationally, from Los Angeles to London and from Rio de Janeiro to Prague. His work has been featured in the New York Times, Humans of New York, and Men's Health. This article has been viewed 16,137,061 times. 1,203 votes - 76% Co-authors: 251 Updated: September 9, 2025 Views: 16,137,061 Categories: Kissing Article SummaryX

When you give someone a hickey, you’re really giving them a small bruise from sucking on their skin. Before you plant one on someone, definitely ask for permission, since hickeys are hard to cover up and they might not want a visible hickey on them. Once you have their consent, press your open lips against their neck and suck in to create suction. Keep your lips planted on their neck and continue sucking in for at least a few seconds. The longer you suck on them, the darker their hickey’s going to be. When you're finished, stop sucking and release your lips. That’s all there is to it! If your hickey turns out too dark or big, applying a cold compress while it’s still fresh can help it fade, or you can use concealer to make it less noticeable. To learn how to hide a hickey with concealer or a scarf, scroll down! Did this summary help you?YesNo

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Reviewed by: John Keegan Dating Coach 1,203 votes - 76% Click a star to vote Co-authors: 251 Updated: September 9, 2025 Views: 16,137,061

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