How To Help Someone Else - NHS

How to recognise self-harm

It can be hard to recognise when someone has started to self-harm as they may not want anyone else to know.

There are also many different ways that someone might self-harm.

Physical signs of self-harm

• keeping themselves fully covered at all times, even in hot weather
• unexplained cuts, bruises or cigarette burns, usually on the wrists, arms, thighs and chest
• unexplained blood stains on clothing or tissues
• signs that they have been pulling out their hair

Emotional signs of self-harm

• becoming very withdrawn and not speaking to others
• signs of depression, such as low mood, tearfulness or a lack of motivation or interest in anything
• signs of low self-esteem, such as thinking they're not good enough
• talking about ending things or not wanting to go on

Things you can try to help

There are some things you can try that may help someone feel more supported and able to get help.

Do

• encourage them to speak to a GP or free listening service about self-harm

• ask how they would like to be supported

• let them know you're there for them

• tell them about their positive qualities

• try to understand their emotions and experiences, without judging them, rather than focusing on their self-harm

• consider that any amount of self-harm might be a sign that they're feeling extremely distressed

• let them be in control of their decisions, but get them medical attention if needed

Don’t

• do not try to force them to change what they're doing

• do not threaten to take away their control

• do not insult them, for example by saying they're attention-seeking