How To Ignore Your Feelings For Someone That Doesn't Feel The Same

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• Health
• Psychological Health
• Emotions and Feelings
• Emotional Pain
• Handling Rejection

How to Suppress Feelings for Someone Who Doesn't Feel the Same Download Article Ways to realize, accept, and move past your unrequited love Co-authored by John Keegan

Last Updated: February 19, 2026 Fact Checked

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• Acknowledging Your Feelings
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• Staying Busy
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• Moving On
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• Mindfulness Journal Entry Template
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• Tips
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• Warnings

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This article was co-authored by John Keegan. John Keegan is a Dating Coach and motivational speaker based in New York City. With over 10 years of professional experience, he runs The Awakened Lifestyle, where he uses his expertise in dating, attraction, and social dynamics to help people find love. He teaches and holds dating workshops internationally, from Los Angeles to London and from Rio de Janeiro to Prague. His work has been featured in the New York Times, Humans of New York, and Men's Health. There are 15 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page. This article has been fact-checked, ensuring the accuracy of any cited facts and confirming the authority of its sources. This article has been viewed 1,504,658 times.

If you have romantic feelings for someone who doesn't feel the same, most people would suggest cutting that person out of your life. But sometimes it's not so easy. Maybe you work together, or you're in the same classes, or you're part of the same friend group. How do you put aside your feelings?

Ways to Suppress Feelings for Someone

• Allow yourself to feel sad or upset. Don’t try to bottle up your feelings.
• Try to put as much distance between you and the person as possible.
• Spend time with friends and focus on your hobbies to get your mind off of them.

Steps

Method 1 Method 1 of 3:

Acknowledging Your Feelings

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1. 1 Allow yourself to feel upset. While you may be tempted to push your feelings down and pretend they don't exist, this is only a temporary solution. Feelings don't just "go away" if you ignore them--they come out in other, usually destructive ways.[1] Give yourself the time and space to express your sadness.
   • Cry, punch a pillow, sit in your car and scream if you think it will release some of the negativity.[2]
   • Try not to turn to alcohol or other substances to cope with your feelings. This may work temporarily, but it may only make things worse in the long run.
   • Be careful that you don't get caught up in your sadness. At a certain point, you will have to start making moves to heal. If it's been weeks and you've stopped taking care of yourself (not showering, crying all the time, refusing to see friends), then it's time to focus on feeling better.
2. 2 Know that you can't force the person to return your feelings. Even if you think it's clear you are meant to be, the hard truth is that they don't feel the same. You can't control how someone else feels or chooses to do with their life.[3] You may be tempted to try and change their mind--with passionate pleas, gifts, or even yelling--but you can't make someone feel something they don't feel.[4]
   • Keep in mind, this person is probably not trying to hurt you. They can't make themselves have feelings for you, either.[5]
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3. 3 Give yourself as much space as possible. If you can, take a break from this person for a while. This can be difficult to do, but is an important step to take to feel better.[6] You don't have to be mean or cut them out completely, but some distance is necessary for you to put these feelings to rest.[7] If this person is part of your daily life (like a coworker or classmate), do everything you can to minimize your contact with them. Don't sit next to them at lunch, don't walk with them to class.
   • This also means minimizing your contact online, too. If you can unfollow, unfriend, or at least hide this person from your social media, do so. Checking on their Facebook/Instagram/Twitter will just keep the feelings alive.
   • If the person knows you have feelings for them, tell them you need some space. Ask that they respect that space so you can heal.
   • Staying away from someone you really like can be hard, but it's an important part of putting a stop to these feelings.
   • Reader Poll: We asked 951 wikiHow readers if they went no contact after breaking up with their ex, and 59% of them said yes. [Take Poll]
4. 4 Think about the ways this person isn’t right for you. Make a list of their negative characteristics and all the ways they’re not right for you. The very first item on that list? They don’t reciprocate your romantic feelings. For a relationship to work, both people have to be invested.[8] You deserve someone who really wants to be with you, not someone who feels so-so or is not really interested.
   • Put whatever you want on the list, since it’s just for you. Maybe they smack their lips when they eat, and that would have really bothered you after a while. Or maybe they would flake out on your plans all the time and cause you a lot of pain. Write it down!
   • Studies show that recognizing someone’s lesser qualities can help you get over rejection faster.
5. 5 Don’t take it personally. Rejection, especially romantic rejection, seems like the most personal thing in the world. But much of the time, rejection has more to do with the person rejecting you and their issues, than you yourself.[9]
   • Don’t think that because this person doesn’t like you, no one ever will.[10]
   • Remember that everyone is rejected at some point in their lives. This is a universal experience, and you shouldn't feel bad about yourself because someone didn't like you back.
   EXPERT TIP

   John Keegan

   Dating Coach John Keegan is a Dating Coach and motivational speaker based in New York City. With over 10 years of professional experience, he runs The Awakened Lifestyle, where he uses his expertise in dating, attraction, and social dynamics to help people find love. He teaches and holds dating workshops internationally, from Los Angeles to London and from Rio de Janeiro to Prague. His work has been featured in the New York Times, Humans of New York, and Men's Health. John Keegan Dating Coach

   Rejection isn't a personal flaw—it's a normal part of life. It can be hard to process at first, but it's not the end of the world. Changing your relationship with dating by having more in-person interactions can help you handle the emotions that come with rejection.

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Method 2 Method 2 of 3:

Staying Busy

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1. 1 Reconnect with acquaintances or make new friends. If this person is part of your main crew or is someone with whom you’ve been very close, it’s time to expand your circle of friends. Call up someone you haven’t seen in a while and ask if they want to hang out. Or chat with that guy you’re sort-of friends with in science class and see if he wants to catch a movie sometime.
   • Focusing on this one person you have feelings for can narrow your scope: it can seem like no one else exists or can make you happy. Meeting new people reminds you this is not true.
   • Don't isolate. You may feel like you just want to be left alone, and that's okay sometimes. But spending time with other people will speed up the healing process and distract you.
2. 2 Enrich your life with new activities and hobbies. Keeping busy is an important step toward redirecting your focus and not thinking about your feelings for this person. Don't give yourself time to think about it.
   • Volunteer or get involved in a cause you are passionate about.
   • Go to the movies, listen to upbeat music, read a good book, exercise, or dance.
   • Start a new creative project, like writing a story, song, or poem; draw or paint a picture; learn a dance.
   • Concentrate on your studies or work.
3. 3 Make sure you’re having fun. Laughter releases endorphins, which make you feel good and happy. Spend time with people who make you laugh, doing things you love. Go to a karaoke lounge and laugh at each other as you try to belt out pop hits. Go to an amusement park or play a sport that you love--exercise increases endorphins, too.[11]
   • Watch a comedy, funny videos online, or even just search for funny animated gifs.
   • Laughter increases pain resistance. When you experience emotional pain, it activates the same areas of your brain as physical pain.[12] Laughing will relieve your heartache.
4. 4 Make a list of things you like about yourself. Your self-esteem can take a major hit after rejection, and it's common to only focus on your perceived faults. They didn't like you because you are this or because you aren't that... this only worsens the pain.[13] Focus on your positive traits, writing down your achievements, good things you've done, and things you really like about yourself.
   • Ask your friends and family for help if you are having trouble with your list.
   • Are you generous and thoughtful? A good listener? Dependable? Write it down.
   • Re-read your list often, especially when you're feeling down.
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Method 3 Method 3 of 3:

Moving On

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1. 1 Give it time. Your feelings won't go away instantly. There will be bad days, when you feel low, and there will be days when you feel more hopeful. But, as cliché as it sounds, time heals. The intense, painful feelings you feel will become dull, and eventually fade.[14]
   • If it has been months and months and you feel no change, you may need a little extra help.
2. 2 Talk to someone if you can't let go. If you have tried to move on or ignore your feelings and nothing has changed, you may need to talk to someone. Reach out to a mental health professional or a trusted friend and ask for support. A therapist may be able to give you more coping strategies to deal with your feelings.
3. 3 Find someone new. When you feel ready, you can start looking for someone who is more compatible and returns your feelings. You don't need to rush into anything right away--rebounding is not always a good idea, and can cause someone else pain if you're not up-front about it. Look at your list of positive traits and remind yourself that you're an amazing human being and you deserve love just like anyone else![15]
   • When you feel better, you won't feel anxiety or longing when you hear their name.[16]
   • You will think about them less and less.[17]
   • You will start to truly see and understand that they were not the right person for you.
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Mindfulness Journal Entry Template

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Tips

• Perhaps if you are finding it too hard to suppress your feelings you should talk to someone about it (someone you trust). Thanks Helpful 14 Not Helpful 0
• Don't listen to love songs, they will just bring back your feelings. Thanks Helpful 16 Not Helpful 3
• Watching a comedy with friends will make you feel better about yourself. Thanks Helpful 8 Not Helpful 5

Show More Tips

Tips from our Readers

The advice in this section is based on the lived experiences of wikiHow readers like you. If you have a helpful tip you’d like to share on wikiHow, please submit it in the field below.

• Focus inward on self-improvement through exercise, setting goals, and expanding your interests instead of obsessing over one person. Become a better version of yourself.
• Allow yourself time to grieve the rejection through crying. Releasing emotions helps you accept them and start recovering. Don't ignore or suppress your hurt.
• Keep your distance from the person directly if possible, rather than interacting regularly. Continued close proximity will prolong the painful attachment.
• Don't bottle up emotions. Confide in a trusted friend or family member. Just talking through the pain can provide relief and bring you reassurance.
• Stay busy pursuing new hobbies, activities and priorities so you don't dwell on the person. Over time, the intensity of feelings will fade.
• Boost your self-confidence with a makeover like new hair, clothes or taking up a new skill. Feel good about yourself independently.

Submit a Tip All tip submissions are carefully reviewed before being published Name Please provide your name and last initial Submit Thanks for submitting a tip for review! Advertisement

Warnings

• Don't expect results right away. Thanks Helpful 833 Not Helpful 68
• Don't test yourself by questioning if you did something wrong. Thanks Helpful 875 Not Helpful 119
• Don't block out your feelings, accept them. Thanks Helpful 778 Not Helpful 156
• Delete the person from your contacts. Thanks Helpful 752 Not Helpful 389

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How toStop Thinking About Someone Who Rejected You How to Move on From an Unrequited Love 14 Ways to Stop Caring about Someone and Move On with Your Life How toAccept that Your Crush Doesn't Like You How toStop Loving Someone Who Doesn't Love You How toAccept Rejection When You Tell a Friend You Love Them How to Get Over Someone You Can't Have or Never Dated 12 Ways to Get Over Unrequited Love How to Move On From Someone You Never Actually Dated How toHandle Your Crush Rejecting You How to Get Over a Friend Crush: What to Say and Do How to Get Over Someone You Love: 20 Ways to Move On How toMake Yourself Not Love Someone How toDeal With Someone Who Doesn't Want to Be With You Advertisement

References

1. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/insight-therapy/201009/emotional-acceptance-why-feeling-bad-is-good
2. ↑ https://positivepsychology.com/understanding-emotions/
3. ↑ https://psychcentral.com/health/unrequited-love-meaning
4. ↑ https://psychcentral.com/health/unrequited-love-meaning
5. ↑ https://psycnet.apa.org/record/1993-25463-001
6. ↑ John Keegan. Dating Coach. Expert Interview
7. ↑ https://www.integrative-psych.org/resources/relationship-breaks-a-path-to-clarity-and-growth
8. ↑ https://www.npr.org/transcripts/1079532260
9. ↑ https://kidshealth.org/en/teens/rejection.html

More References (8)

10. ↑ https://hbr.org/2020/03/how-to-bounce-back-from-rejection
11. ↑ https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/6091217/
12. ↑ https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3267132/
13. ↑ https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/types-of-mental-health-problems/self-esteem/tips-to-improve-your-self-esteem/
14. ↑ https://headspace.org.au/explore-topics/for-young-people/relationship-breakup/
15. ↑ John Keegan. Dating Coach. Expert Interview
16. ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/mental-health/grief/dealing-with-a-breakup-or-divorce
17. ↑ https://jedfoundation.org/resource/the-painful-truth-about-breakups/

About This Article

Co-authored by: John Keegan Dating Coach This article was co-authored by John Keegan. John Keegan is a Dating Coach and motivational speaker based in New York City. With over 10 years of professional experience, he runs The Awakened Lifestyle, where he uses his expertise in dating, attraction, and social dynamics to help people find love. He teaches and holds dating workshops internationally, from Los Angeles to London and from Rio de Janeiro to Prague. His work has been featured in the New York Times, Humans of New York, and Men's Health. This article has been viewed 1,504,658 times. 191 votes - 83% Co-authors: 36 Updated: February 19, 2026 Views: 1,504,658 Categories: Handling Rejection Article SummaryX

If you want to ignore your feelings for someone that doesn’t feel the same, first give yourself the chance to feel upset, since burying your feelings may just cause them to come out in destructive ways. While you express your sadness, give yourself as much space from the person as possible so you can put them out of your mind. To do this, unfollow them on social media, and avoid calling or texting them. Besides minimizing contact with them, you should keep busy so you have something else to focus on. For example, reconnect with acquaintances or try out a new hobby to keep your mind occupied. To learn how to find someone new after being rejected, read on. Did this summary help you?YesNo

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Yes No Advertisement Cookies make wikiHow better. By continuing to use our site, you agree to our cookie policy. Co-authored by: John Keegan Dating Coach Co-authors: 36 Updated: February 19, 2026 Views: 1,504,658 83% of readers found this article helpful. 191 votes - 83% Click a star to add your vote

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