How To Plan A Bachelorette Party - Brides

In the lead-up to a wedding, there are a number of events that celebrate the couple’s upcoming nuptials—from the engagement party and bridal shower to the rehearsal dinner and welcome party. However, there's one celebration that’s arguably the most fun pre-nuptial celebration: the bachelorette party. While this affair, which is attended by the bride’s closest friends, was once a low-key dinner or luncheon, it has now become a multi-day destination getaway. “Traditionally, the joke is that the bachelorette is your final night of freedom,” says Allison Odhner, the founder and lead planner of Bach to Basic, who notes that the rise in popularity of this celebration coincided with the women’s liberation movement of the 1960s. “But it’s evolved into women celebrating other women and a reason to spend quality time with your favorite people.”

If you’re in charge of planning such a multi-day party, you may be overwhelmed by all of the expectations surrounding it. Since this is a time for the bride to celebrate her upcoming nuptials with all of her closest friends, it can often feel as though there’s a fair amount of pressure on such a celebration going perfectly. However, know that organizing this event is easier than you likely think. Ultimately, the most important thing is giving yourself plenty of time to plan such a getaway. By starting the process months in advance, you’ll ensure you have enough space to deal with any mishaps or hurdles that pop up along the way.

Here, we break down everything you need to know about how to plan a bachelorette party. From the answers to some of the most common questions about this celebration to a step-by-step guide on what to do (and when to do it), we’ve got you covered. Read on for more.

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11 Common Questions About Planning a Bachelorette Party

Even though bachelorette parties are all about having fun, etiquette questions still come up. Here are the answers to some of the most common questions about this celebration.

Who Throws a Bachelorette Party?

A bachelorette party is traditionally planned by the bride’s maid of honor, a few of her bridesmaids, or a small group of close friends, but there are no set rules on who should serve as host. For example, the bride can even handle the planning herself if she decides to do so. “The most important thing to remember is that lots of opinions quickly become a disaster,” says Odhner. “It’s best for one or two people to lead the planning, and the rest should try to go with the flow as much as possible.”

When Do You Hold a Bachelorette Party?

While there aren't official guidelines for when this party should be held (different seasons are often better for different destinations), Odhner says most bachelorettes occur one or two months before the wedding. 

When Should You Start Planning a Bachelorette Party?

Typically, you should start planning such a celebration three to six months in advance. This will provide adequate time to understand the preferences of the bride (and the attendees) in order to make any necessary bookings or reservations.

Is It Okay to Hold a Bachelorette Party Over a Holiday Weekend?

While hosting your wedding over a holiday weekend is sometimes controversial, it’s generally more accepted for bachelorette parties to do so, since the event involves a smaller group of people who are more intimately connected to the bride. However, while it’s nice for attendees to not have to take an extra vacation day, remember that airfare and hotels can be more costly during a holiday weekend, so you’ll want to weigh your priorities accordingly when selecting the date.

How Many Days Should a Bachelorette Party Be?

It ultimately depends on the flexibility and schedules of the bride and her friends. Bachelorette parties can range from a single, epic night out to a full-fledged, multi-day affair. Make sure to set expectations accordingly, as not everyone can commit to investing the time and money required for lengthier festivities.

How Involved Should the Bride Be in Planning?

If someone other than the bride is taking point on planning the bachelorette party, they should get make sure to get the bride’s input at the start of the process. “Ask if they have a specific destination and dates in mind, as well as activities or specific things they’re interested in doing,” says Odhner. “From there, it’s your responsibility to take the bride’s vision and bring it to life.” So, yes, while a few questions here and there are okay, don’t overwhelm the bride with inquiries about logistics.

Who Gets Invited to a Bachelorette Party?

This is the bride’s decision. Some will want just members of their bridal party in attendance, while others will extend the invitation to a larger circle of family and friends. Either way, people who are invited to the bachelorette party should also be invited to the wedding—and gender shouldn’t prevent anyone from making the guest list.

Do You Need to Send Formal Invitations?

Formal invitations are not necessary for a bachelorette party. “Often, it’s just an email,” says Odhner. “Nothing too formal, nothing too cute, just something focused on logistics and general information to get a feel for who can attend.” However, after the guest list is confirmed, you can also opt to send out an official digital or paper invitation with more specific details.

Who Pays for the Bachelorette Party?

Traditionally, each bachelorette party attendee pays their own way through the celebration and also chips in to cover the cost of the bride. However, if the bachelorette party is a multi-day affair that requires hopping on a plane, it’s more common for the bride to pay for her own way, especially when it comes to transportation and lodging.

Occasionally, a maid of honor or sister might cover the bride’s trip entirely. However, it’s more common for the entire group to chip in to cover the bride’s portion of a specific activity or meal during the getaway.

What Is a Reasonable Amount to Spend on a Bachelorette Party?

It depends. The finances of the guests, as well as the bride, will dictate how much is appropriate to spend on this celebration. If the cost of attending causes any stress and anxiety, the cost is too high. Consider the economic positions of everyone attending and recognize the fees associated with the bride’s upcoming nuptials, such as the wedding gift, bridesmaid dress, and nuptial-related travel. Remember: You can always cut costs by simplifying or shortening the itinerary.

Should There Be Party Favors?

While not mandatory by any means, bachelorette party favors like tumblers, mugs, and personalized attire have become increasingly popular over the last few years. “Something they’ll use throughout the weekend is great,” says Odhner, who typically arranges for the favors to be set out at arrival or distributed at the beginning of the events.

How to Plan a Bachelorette Party: 7 Steps to Follow

If you've been tasked with planning the bachelorette party or weekend, you'll likely want a roadmap on how to execute this celebration. Below, we offer a seven-step guide to follow.

1. Determine the Guest List

“This is the perfect excuse to get all your favorite people together,” says Odhner. She advises brides to decide who their core bachelorette attendees will be before determining a location, as the size of the group, as well as the schedules of the bride’s close friends, will likely affect every other decision about the celebration.

2. Pick a Location 

Several factors go into selecting a bachelorette destination. The first few—climate, vibe, and activity preferences—are obvious. Do you want hot or cold weather? Do you want it to be alcohol-free? Do you want to party in a club or relax in a secluded cabin? Do you want to go hiking in the woods or hit up fancy restaurants in a big city? Asking these questions will help you whittle down options. From there, you’ll also want to consider your preferred time of year and the cost of flights. If two destinations offer similar amenities but one is less expensive to travel to, your decision is oftentimes made for you.

3. Figure Out the Date 

The host of the bachelorette party should work with the bride to select two to four dates that work best for her. From there, Odhner recommends using a group scheduler, like Doodle.com, to quickly and easily poll invitees on which of those dates they would and would not be able to attend. The final date can be selected from there.

For the best options in accommodations and lower travel rates, Odhner recommends selecting your date and destination at least six months in advance. 

4. Book Lodgings 

For destination bachelorette weekends, Odhner recommends a group house rental over hotel rooms. “If it’s a large group—15 to 25—you may need to expand your search slightly outside of a city and realize you’re going to be spending time at the house,” she adds. However, if you’re going the hotel route, Odhner suggests booking at least one suite. “That way there’s a communal place for people to pop in, have a glass of Champagne before they head out, or just hang out in during the morning,” she says. Because lodging is the bulk of the expense for a bachelorette weekend, it’s a good idea to ask invitees for the range they’re comfortable spending per night (up to $100, $100 to $200, $200 to $300, $300 and up) before booking your accommodations.

5. Pick a Theme and Plan Activities 

Before you start figuring out what your days will look like, you'll want to pick a theme for the weekend. This will help you determine which types of activities are right for the group. For a regular two-day weekend, Odhner recommends two to three activities, plus some pre-scheduled downtime. “Whether it’s the night you arrive or a full day if you’re staying three days, there’s nothing wrong with [hanging out] at your house rental pool or doing something more low-key,” she says. In addition to heading to clubs and bars, consider adding a unique excursion into the schedule, such as a boat charter, spa session, outdoor picnic, private fitness class, or walking tour.

6. Arrange Group Meals 

If you’ll be heading out to dinner or brunch with a large group, there are certain steps you can take ahead of time to make paying the bill less of a headache. “See if the restaurant is willing to put together a limited menu for the group that’s a set price and includes a certain number of drinks,” Odhner says. If that’s not possible, she recommends announcing at the beginning of the meal that the bill will be split evenly, and everyone should take that into consideration when placing their orders.

7. Confirm Attendance 

Four months ahead of the bachelorette party, the host should have a good idea of base costs for lodging and activities. At this point, it’s a good idea to get back in touch with the group and share estimated costs so that invitees can make their final decisions about attending. Make it clear that attendees will still be on the hook for their portion of these expenses if they cancel after a certain date.

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