How To Prevent Bleeding After Your First Time, If It Does Happen, More

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You Aren’t ‘Supposed’ to Bleed After Your First Time — but You Might. Here’s What to Expect

Medically reviewed by Valinda Riggins Nwadike, MD, MPH, OB/GYN, — Written by Sian Ferguson on April 27, 2020

Sex varies
General tips
Manual or oral sex
Vaginal sex
Anal sex
Risks and precautions
See a doctor
Takeaway

Having sex for the first time can sometimes tear the hymen during vaginal sex or the sensitive anal tissue during anal sex. Some precautions may prevent bleeding and pain.

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There’s a widespread myth that everyone with a vagina bleeds the first time they have sex.

It’s common — and totally normal — to bleed the first time you have penetrative sex, but many people don’t bleed at all.

If you have a vagina, you might bleed because the penetration tears the hymen. The hymen is a membrane near the opening of your vagina.

People often believe that having sex “pops” the hymen, causing it to break open and bleed.

Your hymen may already have a hole in it by the time you have sex for the first time. Think about it: How else would period blood come out?

If your hymen is totally closed, you have a rare condition called an imperforate hymen. This is usually treated with surgery.

However, having sex for the first time — especially if it’s rough — can sometimes tear the hymen, causing it to bleed.

Everyone’s first time is different

Everybody has a different definition of sex.

Some people might only call it sex if it involves a penis penetrating a vagina. Other people might consider it sex if it involves oral sex.

Others might include using sex toys and fingers in their definition of sex.

It’s really a personal thing — there is no right or wrong way to have or define sex.

Because sex is different for everyone, everyone’s “first time” is different.

There are certain things everyone can do to help minimize discomfort

If you’re going to try vaginal or anal penetration for the first time, there are a few ways you can reduce your chances of bleeding.

This can also help you avoid pain.

While not everyone experiences pain the first time they have sex, it can be painful if you don’t take the proper precautions.

Masturbate

Getting familiar with your body before you have sex is a good idea.

This will help you get used to the feeling of being penetrated and give you an opportunity to figure out what you enjoy sexually.

If you have a vagina, penetrative masturbation can also help you avoid suddenly tearing your hymen. Instead, it will gently stretch over time.

Go gently and slowly

If you’re hoping to have penis-in-vagina (PIV) or penis-in-anus (PIA) sex, it might help if you’re first penetrated with something smaller, like a finger or small dildo.

No matter what you’re being penetrated with, it’s a good idea to go gently.

Use lube

If you’re having vaginal sex, your body will usually produce its own natural lubrication, reducing friction and discomfort.

However, the vagina often needs a little help — especially the first time around.

If you’re engaging in anal play or having anal sex, using lube is especially important. That’s because the anus doesn’t produce its own lubrication.

Lube can be applied to your entrance and to whatever is penetrating you.

Other things to consider if you’re going to have manual or oral sex

Cut your fingernails

If your partner is going to finger you — or if you plan on touching your partner — cutting your nails is essential.

What may seem like a nice manicure can cause a lot of bleeding. Be sure to get those pesky hangnails, too.

Be gentle

Fingering and hand jobs can seem fairly straightforward, but it’s a good idea to be gentle and slow at first — particularly if a foreskin is involved.

If you pull foreskin too far back, it can be pretty painful. It could even tear, causing bleeding.

Watch your teeth

When you’re on the giving end of oral sex, pay careful attention to your teeth. Teeth can scrape against genitals, causing discomfort and bleeding.

If you’re going to have vaginal sex

Beyond the hymen, tissue inside the vaginal walls can tear and bleed.

If you’re going to have vaginal sex, take care to avoid anything that could scrape the inner walls.

Get in the mood

One of the best ways to reduce your chances of discomfort and bleeding is to ensure that there’s enough lubrication.

Your vagina will naturally produce its own lubrication when you’re aroused, so try to get in the mood a while before you’re penetrated.

Clitoral stimulation can help with this.

Use lube

Whether or not your vagina is producing enough natural lubrication, it might be a good idea to use lube anyway.

Using lube can reduce friction and scraping inside the vagina.

If you’re going to have anal sex

If your anus is going to be penetrated, whether it’s with fingers, a toy, or a penis, it’s important to be extra careful.

Anal tissue is even more delicate than vaginal tissue, and unlike the vagina, the anus doesn’t produce its own lubrication.

Because of this, anal sex can lead to bleeding and pain if you aren’t careful.

Prepare

You might want to prepare for anal sex by using an enema, which cleans the lower part of your rectum.

It’s not totally necessary to use one, but it cleans out the rectum and reduces your chance of getting, well, poop on your partner or toy.

Enemas can provide peace of mind, which is important because the next rule of anal sex is to relax.

Relax

Your anal sphincter is a muscle that tightens and loosens when you have a bowel movement.

If you aren’t relaxed, anal sex can be difficult as this muscle might be tight. This could make it difficult to penetrate, which can cause pain and bleeding.

Communicate with your partner and give yourself enough time to get aroused. This will help you relax.

Use lube

As mentioned earlier, your anus doesn’t produce its own lubricant — so lube is essential for anal sex. It’s best to use a water-based lube, as this won’t damage condoms or other barrier methods.

Go slowly

In every sense of the word, go slowly. Take time with foreplay. You might want to try analingus — that’s oral sex on the anus — before penetration.

If you’d like to be penetrated by a penis or toy, it could be helpful to try small butt plugs and work your way up to larger toys or fingers over time.

It’s important to go slowly. Pushing something in quickly — regardless of what it is — can be painful.

Go in increments, and don’t expect to fit the entire thing in the first time around.

Other things to remember

STIs are possible the first time

Another pervasive sex myth is that you can’t contract a sexually transmitted infection (STI) the first time you have sex.

It’s possible to get an STI any time you have sexual contact with another human, no matter whether it’s your first time or your thousandth time.

To minimize your risk, you can do the following:

Use condoms. Condoms aren’t just for penises. They can be added to sex toys to prevent spreading an infection from one person’s genitals to the other. You can also use condoms for manual and oral sex on penises. And be sure to use the condom correctly.
Use dental dams or finger cots. If you’re fingering a vagina or anus, use finger cots or gloves. If you’re performing oral sex on a vagina or anus, use dental dams. You can make a dental dam by cutting a condom into a square.
Get tested for STIs regularly. Getting tested is important, whether you go with a partner or not.

If you’re having PIV, pregnancy is possible, too

If you’re having penis-in-vagina sex, it’s possible to become pregnant — even if it’s your first time.

If you want to avoid pregnancy, talk to a doctor or other healthcare provider about your contraceptive options.

When to see a doctor or other provider

Sometimes, blood and pain during sex can be a sign of an underlying condition.

This may include:

vaginal dryness
pelvic inflammatory disease
cervicitis
vaginitis

Look out for symptoms like:

excessive bleeding, even after sex has stopped
pain, even after the first time you’ve had sex
itching and burning in or around your genitals
abdominal or lower back pain
unusual discharge
pain during urination

If you have any of these symptoms, or if you’re concerned about your health, make an appointment with a doctor or other healthcare provider.

Excessive bleeding after sex can also be caused by STIs. Certain STIs could cause inflammation in your genitals, which can lead to bleeding.

Common STI symptoms include:

unusual discharge
change in urine color
warts, bumps, or sores
rash
pelvic and abdominal pain
fever

If you suspect you’ve been exposed to an STI, see a healthcare provider.

The bottom line

While some people bleed the first time they have sex, not everybody does —and there are ways to reduce the chances of bleeding and pain.

If you bleed excessively during sex, or if you bleed every time you have sex, it’s a good idea to talk to a healthcare provider.

Sian Ferguson is a freelance health and cannabis writer based in Cape Town, South Africa. She’s passionate about empowering readers to take care of their mental and physical health through science-based, empathetically delivered information.

How we reviewed this article:

SourcesHistoryHealthline has strict sourcing guidelines and relies on peer-reviewed studies, academic research institutions, and medical journals and associations. We only use quality, credible sources to ensure content accuracy and integrity. You can learn more about how we ensure our content is accurate and current by reading our editorial policy.

Contraception. (2020).http://cdc.gov/reproductivehealth/contraception/index.htm
Dental dam use. (2016).http://cdc.gov/condomeffectiveness/Dental-dam-use.html
Do you bleed after sex? When to see a doctor. (2017).https://health.clevelandclinic.org/what-should-you-do-if-you-bleed-after-sex/
Does anal sex have any health risks? (2015).http://nhs.uk/chq/Pages/3050.aspx?CategoryID=118
Laghzaoui O. (2016). Congenital imperforate hymen. DOI:http://dx.doi.org/10.1136/bcr-2016-215124
Mayo Clinic Staff. (2018). Vaginal bleeding after sex: Causes.http://mayoclinic.org/symptoms/bleeding-after-vaginal-sex/basics/causes/sym-20050716
Mayo Clinic Staff. (2020). Painful intercourse (dyspareunia).https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/painful-intercourse/symptoms-causes/syc-20375967
Tarney CM, et al. (2014). Postcoital bleeding: A review on etiology, diagnosis, and management. DOI:https://doi.org/10.1155/2014/192087
When sex is painful. (2017).https://www.acog.org/patient-resources/faqs/gynecologic-problems/when-sex-is-painful
What happens the first time you have sex? (n.d.)https://www.plannedparenthood.org/learn/teens/sex/virginity/what-happens-first-time-you-have-sex

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Medically reviewed by Valinda Riggins Nwadike, MD, MPH, OB/GYN, — Written by Sian Ferguson on April 27, 2020

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Sexual Health

Everyone’s first time is different

There are certain things everyone can do to help minimize discomfort

Masturbate

Go gently and slowly

Use lube

Other things to consider if you’re going to have manual or oral sex

Cut your fingernails

Be gentle

Watch your teeth

If you’re going to have vaginal sex

Get in the mood

Use lube

If you’re going to have anal sex

Prepare

Relax

Use lube

Go slowly

Other things to remember

STIs are possible the first time

If you’re having PIV, pregnancy is possible, too

When to see a doctor or other provider

The bottom line

How we reviewed this article:

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