How To Stop Liking Someone You Can't Date - BetterHelp

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Protecting Your Mental Health: Tips For How To Stop Liking SomeoneMedically reviewed by Melissa Guarnaccia, LCSWUpdated February 9th, 2026 by BetterHelp Editorial Team

Key takeaways

• Whether you’re trying to get over a crush or move on from an ending relationship, persuading yourself to stop liking someone can be challenging. 
• You can help ease the process by limiting contact, redirecting your energy, and focusing on self-improvement. 
• To let go of your crush, reframe your perspective by taking stock of their negative qualities, setting clear boundaries, and cultivating deeper connections with friends and loved ones.
• Talking with a trusted friend or relationship coach can also speed recovery and help you navigate future relationships when you’re ready.

There are many reasons why one may want to stop liking someone romantically. Maybe you have strong feelings for a close friend, but you don’t want to jeopardize the friendship. You might be going through a breakup, or maybe it’s a person in your life that’s not available at the moment. These common scenarios might be challenging to deal with, particularly for a crush lasting months or a breakup from a long-term relationship. 

However, once you've made up your mind that it might be better to move on from this person, there are things you can do to make moving on from a crush easier. Read on; this post offers tips on how to get over a crush, move forward with your life, and perhaps start dating again when you’re ready to get back out there. 

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Why crushes stick around

Unrequited love is relatively common and can be overwhelming, particularly when your innermost thoughts keep circling back to the same person. Even though you may logically understand why a relationship wouldn’t work, emotions can usurp that logic. Seeing your crush regularly or sharing social circles can make it even harder to let go. In such cases, great advice and outside support from a mental health professional may help. 

The brain’s reward loop and romantic idealization

It can be difficult to keep your mind off your crush, especially if you see them often. This is largely due to the fact that crushes are driven by the brain’s reward system. When you imagine being with someone, replay conversations in your innermost thoughts, or fantasize about a future with them, your brain releases a "chemical cocktail" of dopamine, norepinephrine, and reduced serotonin. This mix creates feelings of euphoria, intense focus on the person, and physical symptoms like butterflies, often acting on the brain similar to addiction.  

Situations that prolong a crush

Certain situations can keep a crush alive, even after you’ve decided to try and stop it. For example, seeing old photos, checking social media, getting updates from mutual friends, or continuing to spend time in shared spaces can all reignite feelings. Sometimes, the briefest of reminders can reestablish emotional patterns you’re trying to overcome.

How to stop intense feelings for your crush

If your feelings are so intense that you can’t deal with them, taking practical steps quickly may help lower their intensity and give you an emotional respite. Learning such coping mechanisms may also help you better regulate your emotions when you’re ready to start dating the next person.  

Keep it appropriate

It may be wise to keep your relationship with this person appropriate to the circumstances and avoid things or situations that might spark romance. If you tend to have romantic feelings for your boss, for example, make sure to keep all your interactions professional and respectful. If you find yourself thinking, "Why am I suddenly attracted to my friend?" but know they don't have the same feelings, then you may want to commit to just being good friends. When figuring out how to get over someone, it can be helpful to limit your interactions to ones that are appropriate for your relationship. Try to limit physical contact as well. Eventually, your feelings may start to fade.

Spend time apart and limit social media interactions

Even after trying to keep things friendly or professional with your crush, it is natural for it to still bother you that you can’t be together if you have developed feelings of romance. Perhaps they're always on your mind, and the time you spend thinking about them is getting frustrating, or you have trouble keeping your composure the moment they're around. In that case, it might be best to spend some time apart or stop seeing that person completely, although if you plan to cut ties, you may want to explain your reasoning first; it may worry your friends if you suddenly stop calling. You may also find it helpful to unfollow your crush on social media as well; social media platforms might algorithmically recommend them to you if you are in the same circle of friends, so you may need to temporarily block or mute them as well. Of course, in a work situation, it may not always be possible to completely avoid the person, but it can be helpful to find some way to maintain distance until your feelings subside. 

Set boundaries

Setting boundaries is key. Maybe you're falling for a close friend who always wants you around but may not know you have romantic feelings for them. In this type of situation, setting boundaries can look like limiting the time you spend together and only asking them to join you when you feel comfortable. The goal is to set concrete limits that help you manage your emotional responses and avoid unnecessary stress from mixed messages and potentially false hopes.

Practical rules to limit exposure

Learning how to stop liking someone may mean learning to limit exposure and avoid them. The more space you put between you, the easier you’ll likely make it on yourself to move on. Here are some things that might help:

• • Temporarily unfollow, mute, or block them on social media
• • Set physical boundaries
• • Delete old photos
• • Avoid places you used to run into them
• • Avoid hangouts where you know they’ll be 

Reframe the person: Noticing negative qualities and reality-testing

Many people idealize their crush, painting a more flattering, unrealistic picture of them. Such idealization can keep a crush alive regardless of whether it makes sense to move on or not. Reality-testing is a good way to see the full picture rather than the fantasy version that may be in your mind. 

Exercises for listing positive and negative qualities

To reframe your perspective into one more rooted in reality, write down five positive qualities and five negative qualities about your crush. Keep in mind the purpose of the exercise isn’t to be judgmental; it’s to clarify. Be honest with yourself about things like behaviors, values, communication styles, and lifestyle differences.

How a trusted friend or relationship coach can provide perspective

Trusted friends and/or a relationship coach can offer great advice by helping you identify “blind spots” you might have missed because of your strong emotions. Outside perspectives often make it easier to recognize the places in which you’re incompatible and, in turn, reduce emotional attachment. 

Cognitive tools to stop rumination and control your innermost thoughts

If you’re actively trying not to think about someone, chances are you’re doing just that. Maybe you’re feeling plagued by thoughts and memories of your crush. You may constantly wonder whether your crush likes you back. Perhaps it's a nagging in the back of your mind that seems to intrude whenever you try to block the person out. Your difficulty in stopping yourself from liking this person and pushing them out of your mind can make those thoughts even more persistent and may even cause you to question your other relationships. These unwanted and persistent thoughts are called "intrusive thoughts".

Thought-stopping, journaling prompts, and scheduling worry time

It’s common to experience intrusive thoughts at one point or another, and it can be a challenge to try to get rid of them. However, some strategies may help. For example, when thoughts and emotions about your crush surface, label them without self-judgment. Emotions in particular can be layered and nuanced, and looking at them more closely can redirect your attention.

Journaling can also help with self-reflection. Consider writing an unsent letter expressing your innermost thoughts. and clearly listing the reasons why you want to stop liking your crush. Additionally, some people benefit from scheduling “worry time” to process thoughts and emotions so they don’t interfere throughout the day. 

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When to start dating again (and how to choose the next person)

After your crush fades, you may wonder if and when to begin dating again. It isn’t always easy to tell for sure, but only you can know when you’re emotionally ready. Below are some suggestions for where to begin. 

Signs you’re ready to start dating and how to avoid rebound patterns

If thoughts about your crush feel less intense, you’re curious about meeting new people, and you’re no longer comparing everyone else to your crush, you might be ready to start dating again. Moving slowly and staying self-aware can help ensure the next person isn’t a rebound. 

Dating with intention: Look for like-minded people and shared values

When reentering the dating scene, consider:

• Focusing on shared values and emotional availability
• Seeking like-minded people who align with your lifestyle
• Avoid comparing new dates to your past crush
• Seeking guidance from a mental health professional experienced in relationship advice

What to do if your feelings persist for months

A crush can last anywhere from a few days to a few months. Some people experience a crush lasting years. If this is the case, it doesn’t mean something is wrong with you. It may simply mean the attachment is tied to deeper needs or unresolved emotions. 

A reasonable approach to ending your feelings for someone is to walk away and accept the deal you’ve been given. You may have to mourn what you thought might have been. During this grieving process, it’s normal to have feelings of loss. There are a few things you can do to process these feelings, though. These can include the following:

• Acknowledge the difficult emotions: The stress of liking a person you can't date and having unwanted feelings about and around them can be overwhelming at times, and it can also be challenging when you stop loving them and begin to move forward. 
• Practice calming techniques: If you’re feeling anxious, try practicing some calming techniques like yoga or meditation.
• Try relaxation exercises: Deep breathing, a long walk, or anything that will relax you and keep you grounded may do the trick.

When to seek extra help: Talk to a therapist or relationship coach

If you feel you've tried everything to forget your crush and stop liking them with no success, there may still be more you can do. Seeking informed professional advice could be the right move for self-improvement as you navigate intense feelings for a crush and try to move forward in your life. 

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Self-compassion and long-term self-improvement

Letting go of a crush can affect your self-esteem, so self-compassion matters. Try to avoid negative self-talk; instead, speak to yourself the same way you would a good friend. Take good care of yourself mentally, physically, and emotionally during this challenging time. 

Small daily habits that rebuild self-esteem and reduce fixation

• Exercising
• Spending time with supportive friends
• Embarking on a new creative project
• Learning a new skill
• Picking up a fun new hobby

When the crush is unrequited, and they are “out of reach” 

If your crush doesn’t reciprocate your feelings, or is “out of reach”—emotionally, geographically, or situationally—creating more space is key. To start, you may want to unfollow, mute, or block them on social media. Avoiding seeing old photos and chats can reduce emotional turmoil and make healing easier. Avoid going to places where you’re likely to run into them, including social engagements. If necessary, let any mutual friends know you’re trying to avoid them. 

Quick scripts to use

Knowing what to say and how to approach such situations can be challenging. Here are a few scripted suggestions for things to say when you need to put some space between you and your crush:  

• “I’m keeping things more business-like right now.”
• “I’m focusing on my personal growth.”
• “I need a bit more space from group updates for a while.”
• “I’ve got a great deal of work on my plate these days.”
• “I’m not ready to start dating again; I’d prefer to stay home.”

Getting support: talk to friends, a coach, or a therapist 

For some people, talking openly with a trusted friend can help prevent isolation and move them forward. Others prefer speaking with a relationship coach or therapist who can offer an objective perspective and provide professional guidance. 

How therapy or short coaching can help you move from rumination to action

Therapy or brief coaching can help you understand your innermost thoughts and shift unhelpful behavior patterns. It can be difficult to talk about your romantic feelings with a stranger, though, particularly in person. Many people find online therapy more comfortable, making it easier to talk openly and consistently get support. Online therapy may provide a solution by making you feel more comfortable expressing yourself. This form of therapy can also be more convenient since you can skip the commute and get mental health services right from home. Internet-based therapy has been proven effective in helping people with relationship problems and can come in many forms, from family therapy to individual therapy. A recent study showed that couples undergoing online counseling felt more in control over the process and more comfortable expressing their feelings with someone in a web-based environment. They also reported an enhanced therapeutic alliance as a result of the online setting, which is a significant predictor of successful therapy. 

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Takeaway

Deciding not to pursue a crush and to move on to someone else can be a hard choice, but it’s also one you can be proud of; remember that your relationship status does not define your worth, and it’s okay to have mixed feelings about both new friends and old friends with whom you have a lot in common. 

If you’re wondering how to stop liking someone, consider redirecting your thoughts away from them, cutting your losses, and maintaining your mental health and well-being to manage any great sense of loss or frustration from the healing process, perhaps with the help of a licensed mental health professional. We hope you have found this article helpful and that it may empower you to move forward to a better relationship in the future. 

Read moreFrequently asked questionsRead more below for answers to questions commonly asked about this topic.

How do I stop having a crush on someone?

It can be extremely difficult to stop having feelings for your crush, especially a person you have strong romantic feelings for. Maybe you were dating this person, and it turned out that you wanted very different things. Or perhaps the person you’ve fallen head over heels for is already in a committed relationship. Whatever the situation may be, some strategies that can help you to begin moving forward include:

• Avoiding physical contact with this person as much as possible
• Committing to stop calling and/or texting them
• Unfollowing/blocking them on all social media platforms– while this may seem excessive, not seeing them pop up constantly on your screen may be for your own sanity.
• Working to adopt a more balanced view of the person you can’t be with instead of focusing solely on their positive qualities
• Journaling to process these intense feelings
• Directing time and energy into other areas of life, such as picking up a new hobby (think about a skill you’ve always wanted to learn, like speaking a new language!)
• Deepening existing relationships with close friends or family, or reconnecting with old friends you haven’t seen in a while
• Focusing on learning and growing from this experience by reflecting on what you can offer to future partners and what you hope for in your next relationship
• Putting your attention towards someone who does reciprocate your feelings
• Remembering that you are worthy of love and happiness, do your best to avoid taking the inability to be with this person as a sign that you are not good enough or unworthy of the kind of love you desire.

If you continue to experience challenges with moving past these feelings, you might consider reaching out for further support from a qualified mental health professional who can help you to process what you are experiencing and develop healthy coping strategies.

How long do crushes typically last?

Some people get over their feelings after a lot of time has passed. On average, a crush may last about four months, but people may have a crush that lasts weeks, months, or years.

How can I get someone off my mind quickly?

To get someone off your mind for a while, be prepared to change your way of thinking. Channel your thoughts and feelings onto something else when they pop into your head. Engage in a hobby or learn a new skill. You may have to cut off any contact you have with them. Remind yourself that things may not be what you think. Your thoughts about them may not be accurate. Keep yourself distracted by doing an enjoyable activity or reconnecting with friends. Focus on changing negative thoughts and assessing the situation from another perspective.

Is it normal to still like someone for years?

Yes, some suggest that when you have strong feelings or infatuation for someone, it could last a couple of years or more. Some find it challenging to stop having feelings for their crush for personal reasons. Some say it is love or bliss, but some think a crush is lengthy if your chances of being in a relationship are small, or it’s been a while since you’ve dated.

How do I know when I’m ready to start dating again?

Knowing when it's time to date again often comes naturally. For example, you might:

• Admire their appearance and notice their characteristics, such as charm and intellect.
• Be comfortable when having conversations with them, and excited when they contact you by phone or text.
• Look forward to talking to them or seeing them again soon.
• Miss them when you’re apart.
• Assess your compatibility by looking for things you have in common, such as interests and values.\

How do I notice and use negative qualities to move on?

You can break the cycle of idealization and potentially get over your crush faster by actively noting their flaws, such as irritating habits, differing values, or incompatibility. 

When should I consider talking to a relationship coach or therapist?

Consider professional support if you are stuck in an obsessive cycle, experiencing intense sadness or anxiety for over a month, or if the feelings are hindering your daily life. 

How can trusted friends help me get over someone?

Trusted friends can help you get over someone by providing emotional validation, distraction, and a safe space to grieve, reducing feelings of isolation. 

What if the person is still in my social circle or posts old photos?

Consider muting, unfollowing, or hiding their posts. If they’re still in your social circle, keep interactions friendly but shallow. You may also try building new routines into your life to keep your mind off of them, particularly if they play a part in your daily life. For example, consider taking a new route to work, frequenting a new cafe, or making a playlist of new music. 

How do I avoid rebound relationships and pick the right next person?

Before getting involved with someone new, consider why you’re interested in that particular person. Are you excited about them, or just looking for comfort, validation, or distraction? How comfortable do you feel being alone? If you’re confident the relationship is more than a rebound, check if your values, communication style, lifestyle, and emotional maturity align with your own.  

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