How To Stop Watching Porn: 10 Tips - Choosing Therapy

Step 3: Be Aware of Your Triggers & Plan Ahead

Quitting porn starts with self-awareness. It’s important to study yourself and get familiar with the situations, thoughts, or emotions that trigger the urge to watch. Whether it’s stress, boredom, loneliness, or even specific places or times, understanding what sets off your urges can help you stay one step ahead. Triggers are personal and unique, so paying attention to patterns in your thoughts and habits can reveal valuable insights about when you’re most vulnerable.

Once you know what prompts these urges, you can start creating strategies to manage them without giving in. Like most things, failing to plan is planning to fail when quitting porn. Planning allows you to play the part of your “ideal self,” even when faced with the urge to watch. Yes, the urge will come, but an urge is not a relapse. We are hardwired to crave comfort, so urges are your body’s way of steering you back into your safe zone.

Develop Healthy Coping Strategies for Urges

Willpower alone is not an effective way to quit porn. When urges come up, having these healthy alternatives can redirect your focus and energy.

Here are some coping strategies to try when experiencing an urge to watch porn:

• Enlist the help of a loved one you can text or call for encouragement when you have an urge.
• Channel your urge into a healthy alternative, such as deep breathing or going for a walk.
• Remind yourself that the urge will pass.
• Have a mantra that includes your “why” for quitting porn to help you resist.
• Replace watching porn with a neutral alternative, such as watching funny videos instead.

Change Your Surroundings

Our minds are highly influenced by our environments, which you can use to manage your urge responses. Changing your environment in the moment can help shake you out of your usual urge-response routine, such as by walking to another room or going for a walk when you notice an urge. A bigger environmental change can also make a difference, such as moving to a new place where you do not have habits built related to urges.

Step 4: Focus on Building Positive Lifestyle Habits

Replacements are essential for long-term success in creating a porn-free life. New hobbies, meetup groups, and pre-planned back-up strategies are meaningful components of the journey to recovery. Volunteering is also a great strategy to occupy your time in a rewarding and productive way.

Develop a Night Time Routine

Building a calming nighttime routine can help manage late night urges and get better sleep, which also helps manage urges during daytime hours. Including elements that relax your body is helpful – such as a warm shower or deep breathing. Elements that hold your attention in a neutral way are also important, such as reading a book or listening to a sleep story. The key is consistency, so start your routine at the same time every night to get to bed on time.

Engage in Physical Activity

Physical activity has a powerful effect on the brain’s reward system, boosting overall well-being and reducing impulsive urges. Exercise is well-known for its benefits to both physical and mental health, helping to regulate the brain’s response to rewards. By engaging in regular physical activity, you can naturally support impulse control and reduce dependency on habits like internet or porn use.3, 4

Begin a Daily Mindfulness Practice

Mindfulness teaches you how to step back from your thoughts and emotions, letting you observe them without immediately reacting. This skill is especially valuable in the early stages of quitting, when urges, self-doubt, and fluctuating emotions tend to show up most intensely. By practicing mindfulness, you’re training yourself to stay grounded and calm, even in the face of strong urges.

Step 5: Seek Professional Support

Working with a therapist and attending group therapy can help in a variety of ways. They can give you a space to process things free from judgment and shame, as well as an objective perspective to reflect pieces of your experience that you may not have noticed as significant on your own. They can provide validation for your struggles, encouragement if you give into urges, as well as remind you why you are wanting to make these changes.

To find support, consider using an online therapist directory to locate a professional who specializes in issues like addiction, relationships, or self-improvement. Many online therapy services, such as Online-Therapy.com, offer accessible options for individual and group therapy. These platforms make it easier to find the right support to guide you on your journey toward healthier habits and relationships.

Try ACT Therapy

Acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT) is a powerful approach that encourages you to accept thoughts and urges without letting them dictate your actions.5 Instead of battling or avoiding your urges, ACT teaches you to observe them without judgment, helping you develop a healthier relationship with your inner experiences. By learning to stop avoiding or suppressing thoughts, you create space to align your actions with your deeper values and long-term goals.

ACT is one of the few evidence-based therapies shown to effectively reduce problematic pornography use. Research has found that after just 12 sessions, participants using ACT reduced their porn consumption by over 90%. This approach offers a supportive framework for anyone seeking lasting change, focusing on acceptance and committed action over willpower alone.6

Join a 12-Step Group

Admitting to a struggle with pornography can sometimes bring judgment from others, which makes finding a safe, supportive environment crucial. A 12-step group offers a judgment-free space where you can openly discuss your experiences and challenges, surrounded by people who understand. Many individuals find that this supportive community is essential for overcoming addiction, as it provides both accountability and encouragement.2

Consider Couples Therapy

If you are in a relationship and your partner has expressed being negatively impacted by your consumption of porn, couples therapy could be helpful in addressing the negative impacts on your relationship. Many online therapy services, such as Regain or Talkspace, offer specialized couples therapy that can help you address these challenges. Couples therapy can help you to take accountability for the ways your behavior has impacted your partner and relationship, work to rebuild trust, and to improve communication with your partner. It can also help your partner understand how to support you as you begin implementing changes.

Step 6: Nurture Your Sex Life

Porn most often does not depict realistic or healthy interactions, and this can make sex in your life feel less stimulating. Nurturing your sex life away from porn is critical to reconnect with yourself or a partner in healthy ways and reduce your consumption of porn. You can do this on your own by exploring things that excite you and sensations you like without porn involved. You can do these things with a partner as well, but you can also explore building emotional intimacy and sexual interaction dynamics that excite you with a partner.

Step 7: Learn to Deal With Setbacks

Unfortunately, it is unlikely that you are going to be able to change your behaviors perfectly the first time you try. This makes it crucial to learn how to deal with setbacks when you inevitably give in to urges that come up. Approaching setbacks with self-compassion is the most important habit you can build so that your setbacks have a chance to become a learning opportunity instead of a dysregulating experience.