How To Talk To A Girl In A Group: 14 Steps (with Pictures) - WikiHow

Skip to ContentQuizzes

• PRO Courses Hot Guides Tech Help Pro Expert Videos About wikiHow Pro Upgrade
• QUIZZES All Quizzes Hot Love Quizzes Personality Quizzes Trivia Quizzes Taylor Swift Quizzes
• EDIT Edit this Article
• EXPLORE Tech Help ProAbout UsRandom ArticleQuizzes Request a New ArticleCommunity DashboardTrendingForums Arts and EntertainmentArtworkBooksMoviesComputers and ElectronicsComputersPhone SkillsTechnology HacksHealthMen's HealthMental HealthWomen's HealthRelationshipsDatingLoveRelationship Issues Hobbies and CraftsCraftsDrawingGamesEducation & CommunicationCommunication SkillsPersonal DevelopmentStudyingPersonal Care and StyleFashionHair CarePersonal Hygiene Quizzes Love Quizzes Personality Quizzes Fun Games ForumsArts and EntertainmentFinance and BusinessHome and Garden Relationship QuizzesCars & Other VehiclesFood and EntertainingPersonal Care and Style Sports and FitnessComputers and ElectronicsHealthPets and Animals TravelEducation & CommunicationHobbies and CraftsPhilosophy and Religion Work WorldFamily LifeHolidays and TraditionsRelationships Youth
• LOG IN

  Log in

  Social login does not work in incognito and private browsers. Please log in with your username or email to continue. Facebook Google wikiHow Account No account yet? Create an account
• RANDOM

• Home
• Random
• Browse Articles
• TrendingNew
• Quizzes & Games
• All QuizzesHot
• Love Quizzes
• Personality Quizzes
• Fun Games
• Dating Simulator
• Learn Something New
• Forums
• Courses
• Happiness Hub
• Explore More
• Support wikiHow
• About wikiHow

• Log in / Sign up

Terms of Use wikiHow is where trusted research and expert knowledge come together. Learn why people trust wikiHow

• Categories
• Relationships

How to Talk to a Girl in a Group Download Article Co-authored by Laura Bilotta

Last Updated: April 9, 2025 References

Download Article

• Approaching a Girl in a Group
|
• Knowing What to Say
|
• Video
|
• Expert Q&A
|
• Tips

|Show more |Show less ARTICLE VIDEO X

This article was co-authored by Laura Bilotta. Laura Bilotta is a Dating Coach, Matchmaker, and the Founder of Single in the City, her dating and relationship coaching service based in Toronto, Ontario, Canada. With over 18 years of experience, she focuses on helping singles date more intentionally, encouraging them to let go of negative patterns so that they can attract the love that they deserve. Her experience, skills, and insights have led to thousands of successfully united over 65,000 singles through events and one-on-one matchmaking coaching sessions. She has been the host of The Dating and Relationship Show on Global News Radio 640 Toronto (AM640) for 6 years and is known as The Hookup Queen of Clubhouse; her popular singles club, Single in the City, has over 95.5K members who regularly join in weekly dating and relationship-focused rooms. There are 8 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page. This article has been viewed 194,892 times.

Talking to a girl one-on-one can be tough, but when you've got an audience it can be really hard. You can learn to approach a girl in a group with more confidence and find things to talk about.

Steps

Part 1 Part 1 of 2:

Approaching a Girl in a Group

Download Article

1. 1 Evaluate the group dynamic. Not every group is going to be appropriate to approach. Is this a group of girls commiserating over a group member's break up? Are they talking about work or is a family member sick? Listen in without seeming obvious for cues.[1]
   • If it is a serious topic you're best not to talk to her. If it is light-hearted, then you're probably safe to proceed.
2. 2 Be a part of the group. The first part of talking to any group is blending in without making it too obvious. Look for a natural opening in a group, or wait until you overhear something good, so you don't just butt into a conversation. Make yourself seem like you're part of the group without invading the group's space.
   • It is okay to jump in as long as you do it in a nice manner. Ask her questions relating to the subject. Say, "I'm lost here, what are we talking about. Gimme the spoiler?"
   • Don't just walk up to a group of people you don't know and start standing there and listening. That'll be a big creepy turn-off.
   Advertisement
3. 3 Join in. Listen to what the group is talking about, and start contributing to whatever they're talking about. Use the subjects the group is talking about to your advantage.
   • Introduce yourself if necessary. If the group is talking about a recent movie, join the conversation and share your impressions.
   • Talk to the entire group of girls. Don't try to single out the girl you're trying to talk to immediately. Depending on the girl, she could be worried about offending her friends, or feel bad that they aren't being given the same amount of attention.[2]
4. 4 Start your side conversation. After starting the conversation relating to what the group is talking about, slowly transition into just talking to the girl you want to talk to. Turn toward her and make eye contact. Address the things you say to her, instead of the group.[3]
   • Start making little side comments that other people won't be able to hear. Keeping her interested in what you are saying will make her distracted from the rest of the group, and eventually, focusing more on you.
   EXPERT TIP

   Moshe Ratson, MFT, PCC

   Marriage & Family Therapist Moshe Ratson is the Executive Director of spiral2grow Marriage & Family Therapy, a coaching and therapy clinic in New York City. Moshe is an International Coach Federation accredited Professional Certified Coach (PCC). He received his MS in Marriage and Family Therapy from Iona College. Moshe is a clinical member of the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapy (AAMFT), and a member of the International Coach Federation (ICF). Moshe Ratson, MFT, PCC Marriage & Family Therapist

   Connect one-on-one first to join a group. Want to get the attention of one girl or join a group of girls? Focus on connecting with one person first. Watch how the group interacts. Show you care through kindness and by listening. Share your real interests. You're more likely to attract someone and fit into the group when you focus on building real relationships.

5. 5 Keep talking. Eventually, the group might leave you two alone to talk, and it'll be a lot easier to carry on a one-on-one conversation in private. Ask her lots of questions and continue making eye contact to make her feel like you're talking to her specifically.
   • If you they don't leave, make sure to include the other members of her group in the conversation so they won't be left out. However, make sure you are still fun of the conversation so that you are also getting a chance to talk to the girl while having fun. Most girls think it's nice when guys are nice to their friends.
6. 6 Disengage if it doesn't work. Sometimes, the best tactic is to chat for a while and then move elsewhere. Keep making eye-contact with the girl you were trying to talk to. This can be a great way of seeing if she's interested in talking more with you. If she leaves the group and goes to find you? Good sign.
   • If you never meet back up, wait unit the end of the night. When her group is leaving, pull her aside quickly and tell her what a great time you've had. Tell her you'd love to meet her for coffee or a drink sometime.
Advertisement

Part 2 Part 2 of 2:

Knowing What to Say

Download Article

1. 1 Ask more questions than you talk. What is this group interested in? What do they like? What are they like? If this group could be a kind of dessert, what would she be? Just find fun and light things to chat about to see what she, and the rest of the group, are interested in. Here are some good group questions, if you're not familiar with the group:
   • How do you all know each other?
   • How often do you all hang out?
   • What are you all drinking? Who has the best one?
2. 2 Listen and follow up. Listening is a very important skill, and the more you do it, the more you'll be able to understand different perspectives and relate to other people.[4] Listen to what they're talking about and respond to the subject positively and kindly with something of your own. If the group is taking about a movie, ask what everyone thought. If someone says, "Boring," say, "Oh really? What movies do you like?" Keep the conversation flowing and positive, to show that you're an interesting person that this girl should want to talk to.
   • The follow up is the most important part of a conversation. Nobody knows how to talk to a stranger without listening to what they say and responding.[5]
3. 3 Keep turning the attention of the group to the girl you want to talk to. If one member of the group is giving her opinion about a particular topic, turn to the girl you want to talk to and say, "What do you think?" This is an excellent way of contributing to the break in the conversation and including her in it as well. It also signals to everyone that you're interested in talking to her specifically.
4. 4 Look for something you have in common. If you know she's in a particular club, likes a certain band, or is particularity interested in something, focus your conversation by asking her about it. Ask how long she's been interested in that hobby, why she likes it, and let it lead to finding out more about her and seeing what you guys have in common.
5. 5 Tell her about yourself. Conversation is give and take, and if you only talk about her, she might feel like you're prying. Be open about your life experiences to help her feel more comfortable.[6] After asking her about herself, think about something that has to do with what she says, and then respond.[7]
   • At the same time, don't only talk about yourself. Self-absorbmant is a pretty big turn-off.
   • Reader Poll: We asked 256 wikiHow readers why they think a girl might be hesitant to open up to someone, and only 7% of them said personality or communication style. [Take Poll] In most cases, people need to really trust someone to open up to them fully, so try to be patient and show her you’re someone she can trust.
6. 6 Be positive.[8] While you're talking to a group, try to keep things light and positive. Encourage others in their opinions and laugh at their jokes. Don't interrupt anyone or dissent from the group at first, until you're sure of the dynamics.
   • Lots of "pick-up artist" schemes recommend subtle insults as a way of getting a girl to be attracted. While this has mixed results, it's always a terrible idea to try in a group full of girls.
   • Little jokes can work fine. But there's a difference between saying something teasing and flirty like, "I can't believe you hated Iron Man. Have you no soul? Prove to me you have a soul" and telling a girl that her perspective on birth control is "childish."
7. 7 Be yourself.[9] Don't try to make yourself into someone else to get her attention or pretend to be interested into things you don't like. If you end up not having much in common, that's okay. Go look for other groups and other conversations.
8. 8 Forget about lines. Start by introducing yourself and shaking her hand, than everyone else's hand. Ask if you can sit down with them. Talk to everyone equally and be genuinely interested in what they are saying. That's how a conversation should get started with a group, not with, "Are those space pants?"
   • Don't try to show off as part of a group. Jokes and gimmicks are more likely to get you a drink in the face than an invitation to coffee.
Advertisement

Expert Q&A

Search Add New Question

• Question What can I say to a girl to keep the conversation going? Laura Bilotta Dating Coach & Matchmaker Laura Bilotta is a Dating Coach, Matchmaker, and the Founder of Single in the City, her dating and relationship coaching service based in Toronto, Ontario, Canada. With over 18 years of experience, she focuses on helping singles date more intentionally, encouraging them to let go of negative patterns so that they can attract the love that they deserve. Her experience, skills, and insights have led to thousands of successfully united over 65,000 singles through events and one-on-one matchmaking coaching sessions. She has been the host of The Dating and Relationship Show on Global News Radio 640 Toronto (AM640) for 6 years and is known as The Hookup Queen of Clubhouse; her popular singles club, Single in the City, has over 95.5K members who regularly join in weekly dating and relationship-focused rooms. Laura Bilotta Dating Coach & Matchmaker Expert Answer In addition to asking her about herself, tell her a little about you. Make sure the conversation is give and take so she feels like you're interested but aren't prying. Thanks! We're glad this was helpful. Thank you for your feedback. If wikiHow has helped you, please consider a small contribution to support us in helping more readers like you. We’re committed to providing the world with free how-to resources, and even $1 helps us in our mission. Support wikiHow Yes No Not Helpful 5 Helpful 11
• Question What should I say when meeting a girl for the first time? Community Answer It depends on what you impression you want to make. If you're going for a funny kind of guy, open up with a joke. Choose jokes that are non-offensive, otherwise no one will find it very funny. If you like her, compliment her. Tell her her hair looks pretty the way it falls to the side, etc. Be open and actually listen to her. Let her talk about herself and ask her what she likes. If you are talking for business, be open to her ideas and suggestions and give a few of your own. Thanks! We're glad this was helpful. Thank you for your feedback. If wikiHow has helped you, please consider a small contribution to support us in helping more readers like you. We’re committed to providing the world with free how-to resources, and even $1 helps us in our mission. Support wikiHow Yes No Not Helpful 11 Helpful 28
• Question How do I find out how deep my love is? Community Answer A saying goes like this: Love cannot be measured by how long you wait. It's about how well you understand why you are waiting. Perhaps you should ask yourself: Am I content with the strength of my love? Is it strong enough? Is it deep enough? Or, can it maybe go deeper? And if it can go deeper, it is not deep enough. Make it go deeper. Thanks! We're glad this was helpful. Thank you for your feedback. If wikiHow has helped you, please consider a small contribution to support us in helping more readers like you. We’re committed to providing the world with free how-to resources, and even $1 helps us in our mission. Support wikiHow Yes No Not Helpful 13 Helpful 22

See more answers Ask a Question 200 characters left Include your email address to get a message when this question is answered. Submit Advertisement

Video

Tips

• Be confident![10] Try not to worry too much about how you look. Just worry about having a good conversation and things will be fine.[11] Thanks Helpful 0 Not Helpful 0
• Remember the names of everyone in the group. Thanks Helpful 3 Not Helpful 0
• The best is always to ask if you could have a word with her. This usually hints that you would like to talk to her alone. She can always tell her friends that she will catch up to them later, or ask them to wait on her. Thanks Helpful 1 Not Helpful 1

Show More Tips Submit a Tip All tip submissions are carefully reviewed before being published Name Please provide your name and last initial Submit Thanks for submitting a tip for review! Advertisement

You Might Also Like

How Do You Approach a Girl in a Group? 10 Ways to Up Your Game at the Bar and Get Her to Notice You How toTalk to a Shy Girl How toGet to Know a Girl How toPick up Girls 10 Smooth Strategies to Start a Conversation with a Girl in a Club How toIntroduce Yourself to a Girl How toKeep the Conversation Flowing with a Girl (for Guys) How toTalk to a Girl You Would Like to Date but Are Too Afraid to Approach How toJoin a Conversation How toTalk to a Girl Without It Getting Boring How toTalk to the Girl Who Likes You Best Ways to Talk to a Girl in Your Class & Get To Know Her How toTalk to a Girl You Don't Know How toTalk to a Girl Advertisement

References

1. ↑ https://www.askmen.com/dating/player_200/249_love_games.html
2. ↑ https://www.askmen.com/dating/player_200/249_love_games.html
3. ↑ https://www.waytoosocial.com/how-to-approach-a-group-of-girls/
4. ↑ Laura Bilotta. Dating Coach & Matchmaker. Expert Interview
5. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-right-balance/201610/are-you-really-listening-or-just-waiting-to-talk
6. ↑ Laura Bilotta. Dating Coach & Matchmaker. Expert Interview
7. ↑ https://www.artofmanliness.com/articles/tell-me-a-little-about-yourself/
8. ↑ Laura Bilotta. Dating Coach & Matchmaker. Expert Interview
9. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/click-here-happiness/201810/how-be-yourself-in-five-simple-steps

More References (2)

10. ↑ https://tinybuddha.com/blog/8-ways-to-be-more-confident-live-the-life-of-your-dreams/
11. ↑ https://www.forbes.com/sites/johnhall/2013/08/18/13-simple-ways-you-can-have-more-meaningful-conversations/#18a7b5164fe9

About This Article

Co-authored by: Laura Bilotta Dating Coach & Matchmaker This article was co-authored by Laura Bilotta. Laura Bilotta is a Dating Coach, Matchmaker, and the Founder of Single in the City, her dating and relationship coaching service based in Toronto, Ontario, Canada. With over 18 years of experience, she focuses on helping singles date more intentionally, encouraging them to let go of negative patterns so that they can attract the love that they deserve. Her experience, skills, and insights have led to thousands of successfully united over 65,000 singles through events and one-on-one matchmaking coaching sessions. She has been the host of The Dating and Relationship Show on Global News Radio 640 Toronto (AM640) for 6 years and is known as The Hookup Queen of Clubhouse; her popular singles club, Single in the City, has over 95.5K members who regularly join in weekly dating and relationship-focused rooms. This article has been viewed 194,892 times. 7 votes - 86% Co-authors: 23 Updated: April 9, 2025 Views: 194,892 Categories: Featured Articles | Relationships In other languages Spanish Russian French Indonesian Dutch

• Print
• Send fan mail to authors

Thanks to all authors for creating a page that has been read 194,892 times.

Did this article help you?

Yes No Advertisement Cookies make wikiHow better. By continuing to use our site, you agree to our cookie policy. Co-authored by: Laura Bilotta Dating Coach & Matchmaker Co-authors: 23 Updated: April 9, 2025 Views: 194,892 86% of readers found this article helpful. 7 votes - 86% Click a star to add your vote

Quizzes & Games

Am I Good at Flirting QuizTake QuizWhat Does My Crush Think of Me QuizTake QuizHow Awkward Am I QuizTake QuizBreak the Ice with a Conversation StarterGenerateWhat's My Communication Style QuizTake QuizWhat Is My Type of Girl QuizTake Quiz

You Might Also Like

How Do You Approach a Girl in a Group? 10 Ways to Up Your Game at the Bar and Get Her to Notice YouHow toTalk to a Shy GirlHow toGet to Know a GirlHow toPick up Girls

Featured Articles

How toRemove Shorts from Search Results on YouTubeWhat Are the Korean Animal Face Types? (And Which Type Do You Have?)Being the Little Spoon While Cuddling: Is It Better Than the Big Spoon?115+ Funny “Get Well Soon” Messages to Make Someone Laugh110+ “Fun Facts” for Interviews, Introductions, & IcebreakersHow Long Would You Survive In A Zombie Apocalypse?

Trending Articles

What's My Soulmate's Name QuizPurity TestWhich Fictional Character Would Crush On You?Crush Calculator: Does Your Crush Like You Back?Rate My Personality QuizWhat's My Personality Based on My Song Choices Quiz

Featured Articles

How to Roast Someone in a Rap Battle (Plus the Best Bars of All Time)What Turns a Girl On? 31 Things to Try on Your PartnerLove AnalyzerSending Your Sweetie a Love Note? Here are 200+ Romantic IdeasHow toExercise Your BrainHow toBe a Fun Person to Hang out With

Featured Articles

What Does Your Morning Routine Say About You?How toDevelop Productive HabitsHow toPractice Self CareWhat Song Matches Your Life Right Now?Will 2026 Be Your Year? Reveal Your FutureUnderstanding the Most Attractive Face Shapes (& Determining Your Own)

Watch Articles

How toTie a Loop KnotHow toMake Body OilHow toMake Almond MilkHow toWash White Clothes by HandHow toSkin a ChickenHow toClean Tile Floors with Vinegar

Trending Articles

Am I a Good Kisser QuizMy Lookalike GeneratorHow Tall Will I Be QuizIf I Had A Baby, What Would It Look Like?How toLose Weight FastHow to Tell if a Guy Likes You

Quizzes & Games

Am I Annoying QuizTake QuizWill I Get Together With My Crush QuizTake QuizHow Good is Our Chemistry QuizTake QuizDoes She Like Me QuizTake QuizRizz Game: Test Your RizzTake QuizDo I Like Him QuizTake Quiz

• Categories
• Relationships

wikiHow Newsletter You're all set! Helpful how-tos delivered toyour inbox every week! Sign me up! By signing up you are agreeing to receive emails according to our privacy policy.

• Home
• About wikiHow
• Experts
• Jobs
• Contact Us
• Site Map
• Terms of Use
• Privacy Policy
• Do Not Sell or Share My Info
• Not Selling Info
• Contribute

Follow Us

×

Get the best dating & love tips

wikiHow's Relationships Newsletter

Subscribe The first issue is coming soon! X --656