How To Tie A Flannel Around Your Waist Like A Pro

Have you ever been in this situation? You’re caught in that awkward temperature conundrum where you thought it would be a little brisker, but then the sun starts peekin’ its head out and it gets a little too hot for your flannel. Now, you could store your flannel in your car and come back to it later, but you never know if a rogue cloud might cover up that sun and leave you freezin’ for your flannel yet again.

What to do? Now, you could drape your flannel over your shoulder like a caveman hauling a prehistoric buck carcass, or maybe you thought to wear it as a scarf like a snooty Frenchman. We’ll be the first to tell ya: unless your name is Jean-Claude Le Fancypants, you ain’t gonna pull that off. Which brings us to a true classic - something as timeless as 90’s grunge, which is totally timeless btw. You know where we’re going: A Flannel Around Your Waist.

You might scoff and think this is a simple task; You couldn’t be more wrong. Like tying a cherry stem into a bow with your tongue, wrapping a flannel around your waist takes finesse, passion, courage, and just a little bit of sensuality. Let us break it down for you in 5 easy-to-follow steps.

Step 1. Choosing the right flannel

Assuming you’re still at home and putting together your sartorial ensemble, you can’t just tie any old flannel around your waist. HA! What a ridiculous thought you had. The first question you gotta ask yourself is: Will this flannel clash with my ripped jeans, converse sneakers, beanie, and over-sized sunglasses? If the answer is yes, then throw that flannel in the furnace and choose another. If you’re having trouble with color matching, you can always go with the standard checkerboard red and black. If it’s good enough for lumberjacks, it’s good enough for you.

Step 2. Identifying your waist

Now this step gets a little tricky and has evolved over the years depending on the dominating influence of the age. If we’re going classic Greek, a culture known for letting it all hang out, the waist sits just below the hip bones. However during the Ottoman Empire, those more conservative calculus-loving prudes defined the waist as just below the nipples. If you see black and white photos of your great-grandfather, then you’ll recognize this style instantly. If you’re going with the American 90’s gangsta rap era, then the waist begins about halfway down the ass crack. Now, at Flannel Fiend we’re not going to tell you how to define your own waist. All that matters is that when you do decide where your waist is, you commit gosh darnit. There’s nothing worse in this world then a traveling waistline.