If A Guy Doesn't Call… Does That Mean He's Not Into You?
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So he stopped calling, never called in the first place or pretty much has had on and off, weird calling patterns for the entire time you’ve known him.
You’re trying not to over-analyze what it means or doesn’t mean that he isn’t calling you but there is this nagging voice inside your head harassing you to find out the truth.
You might even bring this issue up to your female friends, asking their advice and trying to get some clarity into why this is so confusing and how to get to the bottom of it once and for all.
First off all, let me just say… take a deep breathe and count to ten for a second. I promise you, everything is going to be OK.
I am not saying this to be rude or make an assumption; I just know how truly overwhelming it can be when you are in this kind of a position, wanting someone to do something that means something to you only to be left hanging, kind of in this limbo of trying to get an understanding of what is going on and where to go from here.
more: 9 Signs He’s Really Not That Into You
Take The Quiz: Is He Losing Interest?
Click here to take our quick (and shockingly accurate) “Is He Losing Interest” Quiz right now and find out if he’s really losing interest in you…
The key question here is, what stage of the relationship are you in?
If You’re In The Beginning Stages Of A Relationship
If this is the beginning stages where things are flirty, fun and not defined at all… maybe you just met, went on a great first date (or so you thought) and then of course since then even though he said he would call he has not once.
Or maybe you have been sort of seeing each other for a bit but never made things official and all of a sudden he has stopped calling you completely and even worse, might even be ignoring your calls!
You might be sitting there trying to figure out what on earth is going on, what does his lack of calling mean?
It depends. First of all, if he has not called and you just met or you are not that close yet, this could mean that he either forget, wants to play hard to get, is sort of interested but not interested enough to make the effort or is simply not interested and assumes you will get the hint.
But if you have gone out of your way to call him… possibly even multiple times… and he has not even called you back and it has been a while since you made the call (since he could not be calling back because he is busy not necessarily ignoring you on purpose).
more: What Do A Guy’s Excuses Really Mean?
But if he has not called you back and a lot of time has gone by, the likely scenario is that he is simply not interested in anything with you, at least in a romantic sense. This is a hard but necessary truth to accept and to really understand. There is no use in holding onto false hope when things are not going to magically change.
You cannot force him to want to call you and even if you could, why would you want to? You should leave yourself open for someone who naturally is inclined to call you and who makes you feel special for who you are, without you having to try so hard and walk on eggshells always feeling as if you are doing something wrong yet not being able to figure out what exactly it is that he wants.
Now on the other hand, if you think you hit it off and he said he would call but never did and you have not called him… you can either leave it and not call, wait and see if he does and in the meantime stop obsessing over it (because obsessing will only drive you crazy, make matters worse and end up creating needy behavior, which is an instant turnoff and something you definitely do not want to have happen) or you can call him up yourself. Now if you decide to call yourself here is a rule of thumb: call expecting nothing.
Even if he does not answer and you never speak to him again, be OK with this. Even if he answers and is rude, cuts the conversation short and seems indifferent to you.
It means nothing about you as a person. You must go into this fully accepting that an outcome you don’t like could easily happen. If you are OK with this and have accepted it, then you might as well make the call if that is what you want and just see how things are.
more: The Exact Reasons Men Lose Interest And How To Fix It
You never know… when you call he actually might feel dumb for forgetting to call you and the conversation will effortlessly pick up where it left off and he will be enthusiastic and glad that you are easy to talk to and not calling him to yell about why he did not call.
You can go with the natural flow of the conversation and just see where it takes you; if you approach it like this, you make it more likely that he will want to be around you more (and see you again) because you are going to be pleasant and refreshing rather than suffocating and demanding. So you really do not know the outcome unless you call.
In general, if you just met or are in the beginning stages and he is not calling it is normally not the best of signs but is definitely not the worst, unless you have already called him with zero response and total radio silence. If this is the case, move on and focus on men who like you for who and how you are.
If You’re Already In An Established Relationship
Now, another situation where a man’s calling habits come into focus are in relationships. So in a relationship, it is possible that he is simply comfortable with you now and feels no need to call.
What will determine whether his lack of calling is neutral (not good or bad), bad sign or simply a sign that means he is comfortable with what you have and feels no need to call.
more: Tips That Mean He’s Not That Into You
Let’s delve into how often he calls (and whether he blatantly ignores your calls for long periods of time and might not even call you back.) If he is not even calling you back, this could be a problem indicating that he is losing interest in you and not in the mood to tell you how he feels because he does not want to deal with hurting you and is probably conflicted, too, about whether he actually wants to end it or is just going through a weird rut, so he leaves you in this weird limbo.
This situation is hard to deal with, I understand… the best thing you can do is have a real heart to heart with him. Not an accusation-fest, where you go off on him and vent all your frustration about why he hasn’t been calling you, how it means the relationship (or whatever you have) is doomed and how horrible he is for doing this to you, blind sighting you in such a cruel way without even having the guts to tell you the truth).
I could go on and on describing the variety of things women have expressed to me when talking about their relationships and how they deal with a man who stops calling (or in other cases texting, but I have covered texting in so many articles I’m not going to go into that here).
more: Texting Signs That Mean He Doesn’t Like You