Mystery Solved: Obama's Last Name - SHS Today

It is of utmost delight that I may share with you all the true and majestic last name of Obama. I will explain. Let us set a variable for Obama as a person: O

O = Hope. This is because Obama’s health care system granted citizens of America hope if they get injured or get diagnosed with disease.

O = H

However, Obama can also be considered to equal hope for another reason: He announced that he would give money to insufficient schools if they confined to new reforms he made.

So we have O = H * H O = H^2

Upon Googling Obama’s last name it is abundantly clear that the masses have mistaken Obama’s first name to be Barrack and last name to be Obama. However there is something notable. There is a distinct II at the end of his name, which is Roman numeral for 2. We must understand that this means that Obama is equal do double than that of the rest of the evidence we find hereon out.

O = (H^2)*2

On October 20th 2009, Obama placed a twenty two year long restriction of people with HIV or AIDS from entering the country. 0.7% of the world’s population has HIV. From this I must conclude that I must multiply our equation by 99.3%.

O = (H^2(99.3%))2 O = (H^2(0.993))2

Due to the human biological nature, Obama’s face is in roughly a circular shape, like the rest of us. We cannot ignore this. In order to help us find Obama’s last name, we must divide our equation by the area of Obama’s face. The average male face radius is 57cm. The formula for the area of a circle is A = πr^2. For our equation, A = π57cm^2 A = π3249cm A = 10207.0345315 Now let us translate this to our equation: O = ((H^2(0.993))/10207.0345315)2 O = ((H^2(0.00009728584))2

Since Obamacare has helped over 35,000,000 people (we will simply round the exact number to 35,000,000), and because Obama gave $900,000,000 to insufficient schools which confined to his new reforms, We can find the value of H^2.

O = ((35,000,000*900,000,000)(0.00009728584))2 O = ((31,500,000,000(0.00009728584))2 O = (3064503.96)2 O = 6129007.92

Since Obama is the 44th president of the United States, we must multiply our equation by 44.

O = 269676348.48

After checking the ancient texts of the Great Obamium Pyramids, I found out that one ingot of Obamium is equal to 269,676,348.48 (The answer to our original equation) microscopic Obamular Obamitochondria (Obamitochondria is the main power producing organelle within an Obamular cell). Within these glorious mighty ancient text books, the equation relating Obama to Obamium ingots may be found:

Obama = 9 Obamium ingots

This grants us with a new equation: Let O represent Obama Let I represent Obamium ingots

O = 9I

According to the Obamian rule of titles, to find the Obamiously correct name of something you must multiply the amount of Obamas with the corresponding amount of Obamian ingots it contains with with the hypotenuse of one standard flat right Obamid multiplied by the amount of ingots. In the form of an equation it is:

Let T represent the title of what you are looking for

(The coefficient of O) *(The coefficient of I) * (Hypotenuse of standard flat right Obamid multiplied by the coefficient of I) = T

The Pythagorean Theorem states: a^2 + b^2 = c^2 In the case of a standard flat right Obamid where the sides other than the hypotenuse, also called the legs, are measured in Obamium ingots 3^2 + 4^2 = c^2 9 + 16 = 25 = c^2 c = sqrt25 c = 5

Here is our equation now:

T = 1 * 9 * (5 * 9) T = 1 * 9 * 45 T = 9 * 45 T = 405

Now take the bottom portion of the last number and flip it horizontally. This is your first letter.

C

Then take the second number of your answer and add the top portion of your last number to the top.

Ca

Next take the rightmost section of your first number and add the bottom portion of your last number to the top of it. Then add a line going down at a 45 degree angle.

Car

Lastly, rotate the second letter in your title so that is makes a new letter.

Care

Yes my friends, it has been solved. The true and tested last name of Obama is Care. His full name is Obama Care.