Pregnancy Is Hard...and That's OK

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Pregnancy has never been my jam. If I'm being completely honest, those women who "love it" and swear up and down that they will actually miss their pregnant bellies completely baffle me. Don't get me wrong, I am so thankful for the fact that I am able to conceive and carry babies, and I love my children dearly, but does that mean that I have to love every single second of this creating-life business? Um… NO.

I realize that it's important to tread lightly when speaking of pregnancy complaints, as there are women out there who are desperately trying to conceive and who are unable to do so. It is not my intent to offend these women. My heart breaks for those who struggle with infertility and hope that one day you will get to experience the joy of having children of your own. That said, that doesn't make the experience of pregnancy any rosier, and I certainly wouldn't expect the women who've struggled to get pregnant to love it any more than I have simply because their journey to get there was harder.

Here's the cold, hard truth: Pregnancy is hard, freaking work and it it doesn't respect people

Pregnancy doesn't care if you toiled to get pregnant or if you got pregnant accidentally — it's symptoms can be unrelenting either way. The morning sickness, the heartburn, the hemorrhoids, the constipation, the sleeplessness, the pants peeing when you sneeze… and these are just the basics.

Don't even get me started on the laundry list of other ailments that can affect women during pregnancy: postpartum depression, preeclampsia, anemia, cholestasis… and a ton of others that I don't even know about.

I've had two other babies and have never loved pregnancy thus far, and this third baby is proving to be no exception. I love my babies, but this pregnancy has put me through the ringer. We've had everything from ultrasound worries to borderline preeclampsia to severe anemia that's made me feel like I'm about to pass out some days. And I'm doing it while chasing around a 4-year-old and an almost-2-year-old.

To say this is tiring would be the understatement of the century

Am I excited to meet our new baby girl? Yes. Am I excited that I've had to make best friends with Poise pads and that I can no longer see my nether regions? No.

Sometimes during pregnancy you just need a good, old-fashioned vent

A mama-to-be sometimes just needs the freedom to bemoan the fact that they are feeling overwhelmed and gigantic and stretched to their very limits — both physically and emotionally. And you know what? That's OK.

Not loving pregnancy doesn't mean that we don't cherish the little life growing inside of us, it just means that maybe we don't love those hemorrhoids growing inside of us. And for all the ladies who struggled to get pregnant and now find themselves miserably sick or uncomfortable and are feeling guilty about a little bit of venting? Don't! You vent your little hearts out, because you've earned it by pledging to carrying this miracle of life around for nine (actually 10) months. Other moms won't judge you — we get it.

Sometimes pregnancy is just hard… and that's OK.

Published April 19, 2021 Lauren Hartmann

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