Q: Where Does A Snowman Keep His Money? A: In A...

animalasianblack peopleblondechemistryChuck Norrisdaddead babydesert islanddirtyfatgayITjewishkidsknock-knocklesbianlittle Johnnymarriagemathmexicannerdpoemsracistrednecksexstupidwhite peoplewomenYo mama Joke #11847 Q: Where does a snowman keep his money? A: In a snow bank.Vote: share jokeJoke has 56.75 % from 92 votes. More jokes about: money, winter

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The below are valid reasons as to why drinking should be allowed at work. If you use them wisely, you may even be able to convince your boss to allow alcohol. 1. It's an incentive to show up. 2. It reduces stress. 3. It leads to more honest communications. 4. It reduces complaints about low pay. 5. It cuts down on time off because you can work with a hangover. 6. Employees tell management what they think, not what management wants to hear. 7. It helps save on heating costs in the winter. 8. It encourages carpooling. 9. Increases job satisfaction because if you have a bad job you don't care. 10. It eliminates vacations because people would rather come to work. 11. It makes fellow employees look better. 12. It makes the cafeteria food taste better. 13. Bosses are more likely to hand out raises when they are wasted. 14. Salary negotiations are a lot more profitable.Vote: share jokeJoke has 60.02 % from 89 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, holiday, money, winter, workQ: What's a good holiday tip? A: Never catch snowflakes with your tongue until all the birds have gone south for the winter.Vote: share jokeJoke has 58.67 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: bird, disgusting, holiday, winterChuck Norris can won the winter Olympics... In the summer.Vote: share jokeJoke has 40.31 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, sport, winterOne winter year, these two little fleas headed for the warm sunny beaches of California to escape the cold. The first flea got there and started rubbing suntan lotion on his little flea arms and his little flee legs. Just then, the second flea arrived just a shiverin' and a shakin'. The first flea asked, "What the hell happened to you?" To which the second flea replied "I just rode out here on a bikers mustache and I'm so very coldddd!" The first flea said, "Don't you know the special trick to gettin here, first you go to the airport, go straight to the mens cammode, wait for a young pilot to come along, and when he sits down you climb right up between his butt cheeks where its nice and warm". The second flea agreed that this was a grand idea. The next winter comes along and it was time for the fleas to head for the sunny beaches again. The first flea arrived and began putting suntan lotion on his little flea arms and his little flea legs. About that time, the second flea arrived again just a shiverin', shakin', and mumbling about how cold he was. The first flea exclaimed "Didn't you learn anything that I taught you about getting here nice and warm?" To which the second flea replied, "I did just as you said; I went to the mens cammode and this pilot came in and sat down, I climbed right up between his butt cheeks and it was so very warm. Next thing I know we stop at a bar and I fell asleep. All of a sudden I woke and there I was, right back on that bikers mustache!Vote: share jokeJoke has 72.52 % from 297 votes. More jokes about: airplane, bar, gay, travel, winterA foursome is waiting at the men's tee when another foursome of ladies are hitting from the ladies tee. The ladies are taking their time and when finally the last one is ready to hit the ball she hacks it about 10 feet, goes over to it, hacks it another ten feet and looks up at the men waiting and says apologetically "I guess all those fucking lessons I took this winter didn't help." One of the men immediately replies, "No, you see that's your problem. You should have been taking golf lessons instead."Vote: share jokeJoke has 64.21 % from 62 votes. More jokes about: golf, men, sport, winter, womenA little old lady went to the Bank of Canada one day, carrying a bag of money. She insisted that she must speak with the president of the bank to open a savings account because "It's a lot of money!" After much hemming and hawing, the bank staff finally ushered her into the president's office. The bank president then asked her how much she would like to deposit. She replied, "$165,000" and dumped the cash out of her bag onto his desk. The president was, of course, curious as to how she came by all this cash, so he asked her, "Ma'am, I'm surprised you're carrying so much cash around. Where did you get this money?" The old lady replied, "I make bets." The president then asked, "Bets? What kind of bets?" The old woman said, "Well, for example, I'll bet you $25,000 that your balls are square." "Ha!" laughed the president, "That's a stupid bet. You can never win that kind of bet!" The old lady challenged, "So, would you like to take my bet?" "Sure," said the president, "I'll bet $25,000 that my balls are not square!" The little old lady then said, "Okay, but since there is a lot of money involved, may I bring my lawyer with me tomorrow at 10:00 A.M. as a witness?" "Sure!" replied the confident president. That night, the president got very nervous about the bet and spent a long time in front of a mirror checking his balls, turning from side to side, again and again. He thoroughly checked them out until he was sure that there was absolutely no way his balls were square and that he would win the bet. The next morning, at precisely 10:00 A.M., the little old lady appeared with her lawyer at the president's office. She introduced the lawyer to the president and repeated the bet" "$25,000 says the president's balls are square!" The president agreed with the bet again and the old lady asked him to drop his pants so they could all see. The president complied. The little old lady peered closely at his balls and then asked if she could feel them. "Well, okay," said the president, "$25,000 is a lot of money, so I guess you should be absolutely sure." Just then, he noticed that the lawyer was quietly banging his head against the wall. The president asked the old lady, "What the hell's the matter with your lawyer?" She replied, "Nothing, except I bet him $100,000 that at 10:00 A.M. today, I'd have the Bank of Canada's president's balls in my hand."Vote: share jokeJoke has 81.04 % from 201 votes. More jokes about: dirty, game, lawyer, money, old peopleQ: What did the big furry hat say to the warm woolly scarf? A: "You hang around while I go on ahead."Vote: share jokeJoke has 67.69 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: winterYo' Mama is so poor, she does a drive-by from the bus.Vote: share jokeJoke has 62.61 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: money, Yo mama‘A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don’t need it.’ Bob HopeVote: share jokeJoke has 58.75 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: moneyA psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy session with three young mothers and their small children. "You all have obsessions," he observed. To the first mother, he said, "You are obsessed with eating. You've even named your daughter Candy." He turned to the second mom. "Your obsession is money. Again, it manifests itself in your child's name, Penny." At this point, the third mother got up, took her little boy by the hand and whispered, "Come on, Dick, let's go."Vote: share jokeJoke has 85.44 % from 2971 votes. More jokes about: dirty, doctor, food, kids, money Returning visitor? Have you seen all jokes? Try new jokes Joke of the day See today's joke Do you know a good joke which isn't here? Add your joke

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