Sex And SSRIs: Why Your Libido Is Lower, And How To Fix It - The Face

Clancy points out that one of the main problems SSRIs pose for women is that they can delay lubrication. ​“Then there are all sorts of other impacts. When you’re less lubricated, it affects your ability to orgasm, and sex becomes painful, so then you don’t want to have it,” she says. ​“This might lead you to think that the SSRI has reduced your libido, but actually, it’s just reduced your lubrication.”

Sophie*, 24, started taking sertraline last summer to combat anxiety about getting back into a normal routine post-lockdown. As a result, her sex drive is much lower than it used to be. ​“Sometimes, I can’t even be bothered to masturbate,” she says. ​“It makes me feel like shit.” To tackle this, Sophie has been trying to think about sex ​“in a different way, rather than relying on horniness. Aphrodisiac incense works a treat for me, as does lube.”

Jo Nicholl, a psychotherapist, relationship coach and host of the Love Maps podcast, believes it’s high time we normalise that fact that antidepressants can lead to a decrease in libido, as they’re an important tool for many people. Rather than avoiding the issue, being open about it with sexual partners could in fact be beneficial.

“What can help [overcome a decreased libido] is being more patient around the length of time it takes to become aroused,” she says. ​“It might take longer to achieve an orgasm, but spending more time with yourself or having your partner spend more time on foreplay helps, as does including your partner in the fact that it will take longer. It doesn’t mean it’s not possible, it just has to be approached with a different mindset.”

Crucially, the sexual side effects of SSRIs affect men and women very differently. ​“Arousal, for women, comes before desire,” Nicholl says. Since the beginning of the pandemic, more women in the UK have been prescribed antidepressants than ever before, but she adds that for both genders, ​“our biggest sex organ is our brain. We turn ourselves on in our heads and we can turn ourselves off, too. It’s about accommodating that and using the tools of your mind more sharply.”

That could mean working your current feelings into your previous sexual narrative. If you used to find a certain smell sexy, for example, ​“you have to go deeper and kind of exaggerate it”. As Nicholl says, ​“It’s about going with what you remember as being erotic and arousing, and experimenting more in that area.”

Noah*, 24, has been taking sertraline for the last four years due to depression and anxiety. ​“I wouldn’t say it’s affected my sex life dramatically,” he says. ​“Sometimes it takes me longer to get hard, but it also makes me last longer, which I see as a positive. It’s a worthy sacrifice to make for my mental health.”