Sexual Frustration: Symptoms And How To Manage

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Medical News TodaySubscribeWhat to know about managing sexual frustration

Medically reviewed by Lori Lawrenz, PsyD — Written by Rachel Ann Tee-Melegrito — Updated on June 10, 2025

Definition
Health impact
Symptoms
Causes
Treatment
Relationships
When to contact an expert
FAQ
Summary

Sexual frustration describes a state of irritation, agitation, or stress resulting from sexual inactivity or dissatisfaction. Sexual frustration is a common, natural feeling, and it can affect anyone.

Sexual frustration is a natural response that many people experience at one time or another. It refers to an imbalance between a person’s sexual desires and their reality. Some people assume sexual frustration only applies to those with a high sex drive. However, it occurs in anyone whose sexual arousal is not met with sufficient activity, leading to tension.

Sexual behavior is a complex human endeavor that can affect physical and mental well-being. While sexual frustration can present differently among individuals, it can cause negative health effects and lead to anger, recklessness, anxiety, and depression.

Definition

A man with his face in his hands — Michelle Bobb-Parris/Getty Images

Many people may view sexual experiences as an essential aspect of their quality of life. Having unmet sexual desires may lead to feelings of discontent. Sexual frustration does not refer to a person’s libido. Instead, it describes a person being unable to satisfy the sexual arousal they are experiencing.

Sexual frustration is a common experience, and it can affect many people regardless of age, gender, sexuality, and relationship status. Many factors can contribute to this sensation, including sexual inactivity, sexual dissatisfaction, or sexual dysfunction.

»Learn more about having a high sex drive.

How it can impact health

There are no known health conditions associated with sexual frustration. A 2021 study indicates that sexual frustration may increase the risk of violence, aggression, and crime.

Evidence suggests an association between sexual and mental health. A 2022 review notes an association between sexual dissatisfaction and depressive symptoms and lower rates of mental well-being.

A person experiencing sexual frustration may also begin displaying behaviors that could be harmful. In an attempt to satisfy their sexual urges, a person may engage in riskier sexual activities, which could lead to unintentional health outcomes such as sexually transmitted infection (STI) and unintended pregnancy.

Trina’s story: Sexual frustration

“I’ve had many moments and/or seasons of frustration about sex. I was utterly overwhelmed when my first son was two years old and my second son was a newborn. I knew it was important to keep intimacy and sex on the radar, so I made huge efforts to stay connected with my husband.

He made zero effort, saying (rightly) that it was hard to know when it was a good time to initiate sex. I put sex before having a shower (aka self-care), and my husband complained that he wasn’t having enough sex. I dealt with it by focusing on the connection and knowing that the season of my life would eventually be over.

The pandemic coincided with me being in full-on peri-menopause, and between the two, my libido flat-lined. Even though I explained to my husband my situation and gave him credible and sourced articles to read on what we could do, he still expected sex to happen regularly. It was a tough time in my marriage, and sometimes you have to hang on by your fingernails, knowing that it will get better. And it did get better.

I had to set boundaries and say to my husband: sometimes sex is what he wants (orgasm-focused, intercourse), and sometimes sex is what I want (focus on sensuality, massage, talking, connecting). When I was able to communicate how I needed to be nurtured in a way that suited my needs, it helped sex expectations, the quality and quantity of sex, and my sexual equality (i.e., making sure my needs were met).”

Symptoms

It may be easy for people to experience stress and tension in other areas of life and attribute them to sexual frustration. A person can begin by assessing their current mood. If they are primarily projecting negative emotions and there is no obvious nonsexual cause, then it may relate to sexual frustration.

Potential symptoms and behaviors that could stem from or connect to sexual frustration can include:

feeling irritable, restless, and edgy
experiencing rejection from recent sexual advances
feeling less confident or less interested in sex
having less sex, masturbating less, or both
having sexual expectations that partners are unable to fulfill
performing riskier behaviors to fulfill sexual desires
feeling too stressed or tired to have sex or masturbate, even when there is a desire to do so
arguing with a partner more than usual and steering arguments back to the topic of sex
engaging in unhealthy coping behaviors such as overeating or drinking
frequently fantasizing or daydreaming about sex
watching porn or movies with many intimate scenes

Potential causes

There are many potential reasons for sexual frustration. These could include a lack of sex, unsatisfactory sex, or the inability to achieve orgasm. Understanding the cause may help a person resolve potential issues.

Lack of sexual partners

A person may be ready for sex but lack a partner. They may be single or in a long-distance relationship, or they may have a partner who does not want to — or cannot — have sex with them at the moment.

Unmet expectations

A sexual partner may impose impossible standards, criticize sexual performance, or want to engage in undesired activities. All of these behaviors may contribute to a person experiencing feelings of frustration, shame, and self-blame.

Issues with communication

In some cases, the frustration may stem from an inability to communicate sexual needs or expectations.

Some individuals may not be sexually compatible and may have sizable differences in their sex drives. Openly communicating about their desires may enable sexual partners to negotiate and discuss ways to meet each other’s needs. This can help people become more attuned to their partner’s needs and facilitate more satisfying sex.

Medical conditions

People with medical and chronic health conditions may face sex and intimacy challenges. Issues with health-related changes, such as pregnancy, childbirth, recent surgery, and illness, may prevent a person from engaging in sex, which can cause their partner to be frustrated.

Other medical conditions that may result in sexual problems include:

sexual dysfunction disorders, such as erectile dysfunction and anorgasmia
anxiety
depression
high blood pressure
hormonal imbalance
heart disease
obesity
diabetes

Moreover, taking certain medications, such as antidepressants, opioids, birth control pills, and beta-blockers, can negatively affect a person’s libido.

How to treat and prevent

If a person believes they are experiencing sexual frustration, they may wish to consider other outlets to help release their pent-up sexual energies. This may include:

Focusing on health: A person who meets their non-sexual requirements, such as nutrition and sleep, can better focus on meeting their sexual needs.
Masturbation: Self-stimulation can help a person release their pent-up physical and mental tension while benefiting from the same hormones released during sex.
Connect with friends: People are social creatures and may experience touch starvation that is non-sexual in nature. Meeting with friends may ease a person’s physical cravings for nonsexual intimacy.
Exercising: Physical activities can be an excellent way to release energy and also help boost a person’s mood.
Initiate sex: People in long-term relationships tend to have less spontaneous sex. A person can initiate sex by simply verbalizing their desire. Even a simple nudge or gesture can be enough to instigate intercourse.
Virtual sex: Individuals who cannot be with a partner can explore sexting, video sex, or phone sex. Sending each other nudes can help create feelings of intimacy despite the distance.
Communication: Openly expressing sexual needs and desires can help avoid dissatisfaction. A person can show their partner what they enjoy, voice their exact preferences, and plan how to spice things up.
Dating: People who wish to enter a relationship or engage in casual sex can use apps, dating sites, and other means to connect with other individuals.
Explore and add variety: People can explore their own bodies and their partner’s, use sex toys, and try new positions.
Channel the energy elsewhere: Volunteering, beginning a creative project, attending social events, visiting family and friends, or learning a new skill can be good ways to take a person’s mind off sex.
Listen to music: Music can improve a person’s mood and ease their frustration, even if they cannot get the sexual need they want at the moment.
Take medications: Sometimes, sexual frustration stems from a person’s sexual performance issues, such as erectile dysfunction or premature ejaculation. Receiving treatment for these can help improve a person’s sexual experience and reduce frustration.

How it can impact relationships

Sexual satisfaction is associated with relationship stability and healthy relationships, but 2023 research states that there are still conflicting perspectives as to whether sexual frustration and dissatisfaction can have an overall effect.

Some studies on the topic have found that sexual satisfaction earlier on in the relationship predicted more relationship satisfaction, but others found little evidence for long-term dissatisfaction.

When to contact an expert

If a person’s sexual frustrations begin to affect other areas of their life, they may consider speaking with an expert.

Regardless of their relationship status, a person can consult a sex therapist for their concerns about sex, body image, intimacy, sexual shame, and sexual frustration. These experts can help individuals express their needs and fantasies and reconcile their mismatched sexual drives with sexual partners.

Frequently asked questions

How can a person cope with sexual frustration?

A person can cope with sexual frustration by addressing the issue and communicating about it with their partner, to understand where their feelings come from.Ways to release pent-up sexual energy include exercising, focusing on health and self-care, and masturbation.

A person can cope with sexual frustration by addressing the issue and communicating about it with their partner, to understand where their feelings come from.

Ways to release pent-up sexual energy include exercising, focusing on health and self-care, and masturbation.

Can sexual frustration end a relationship?

Sexual frustration does not have to end a relationship. Addressing the issue with oneself and their partner can ensure thorough communication, and avoid building up feelings of dissatisfaction and resentment.

Summary

Sexual frustration relates to dissatisfaction with sexual experience due to a disparity between sexual desires and reality. It can involve a variety of causes and may manifest differently between individuals. People can take measures both personally and with a partner to overcome these sensations of disconnect and instead encourage a sense of fulfillment.

Mental Health
Sexual Health / STDs

How we reviewed this article:

SourcesMedical News Today has strict sourcing guidelines and relies on peer-reviewed studies, academic research institutions, and medical journals and associations. We only use quality, credible sources to ensure content accuracy and integrity. You can learn more about how we ensure our content is accurate and current by reading our editorial policy.

Do mental health problems have an effect on sexual function? (n.d.).https://www.issm.info/sexual-health-qa/do-mental-health-problems-have-an-effect-on-sexual-function
Gonçalves WS, et al. (2022). Prevalence of sexual dysfunction in depressive and persistent depressive disorders: a systematic review and meta-analysis.https://www.nature.com/articles/s41443-022-00539-7
Lankford A. (2021). A sexual frustration theory of aggression, violence, and crime.https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0047235221000854
Malhi GS, et al. (2022. Questions in psychiatry (QuiP): Psychological basis for sexual dysfunction in psychiatry. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC10099618/
Park HG, et al. (2023). Sexual satisfaction predicts future changes in relationship satisfaction and sexual frequency: New insights from within-person associations over time.https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.5964/ps.11869
Rocketto L. (2021). 7 tips from a rheumatology nurse to help maintain sex and intimacy when living with a chronic illness.https://creakyjoints.org/lifestyle/maintain-sex-intimacy-with-chronic-illness/
Sexual risk behaviors. (2024).https://www.cdc.gov/youth-behavior/risk-behaviors/sexual-risk-behaviors.html?CDC_AAref_Val=https://www.cdc.gov/healthyyouth/sexualbehaviors/index.htm

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Medically reviewed by Lori Lawrenz, PsyD — Written by Rachel Ann Tee-Melegrito — Updated on June 10, 2025

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