Temperature Play During Sex: Guide To Using Ice & Heat

Skip navigation!ADVERTISEMENTStory from Sex TipsFire & Ice: A How-To Guide To Temperature Sex PlayKasandra BrabawNovember 1, 2018, 5:40 PM ADVERTISEMENTSee All SlidesBegin Slideshownails by Claire Beaudreault; styled by Claudia Ficca/Apostrophe; photographed by Eric Helgas; modeled by Susan Schell.Temperature play might sound kind of intense, but working hot and cold into your sex life is actually pretty easy. All you need to get started is a bowl of ice or a glass of hot water. But why play with temperature at all? Besides the obviously sexy thought of rolling an ice cube around your lips and then down your partner's body, what does adding heat or cold to your sex life actually do? It's all about the psychology of it."When temperature play is negotiated and consented to, the brain starts preparing for a sexy and exciting experience, and basically puts nerve endings in the body — erogenous zones, but also everywhere else — on high alert for new sensations," says Dulcinea Pitagora, a sex therapist known as the Kink Doctor.Of course, not everyone is going to be interested in temperature play. And if you're not into it, don't feel like you have to be, says Holly Richmond, PhD, a somatic psychologist and certified sex therapist (CST). Temperature play can be fun, but not wanting to play with ice or heat doesn't make you boring in bed. "My husband absolutely detests cold," Dr. Richmond says. So he wouldn't find it sexy if she pulled out a bowl full of ice, and that's totally fine.If you are intrigued, using cold or heat can be a fun way to mix up your usual sex routine. Pro tip: Consider blindfolding the partner on the receiving end of the temperature play. Restricting their sense of sight can make the feelings of hot and cold more intense.But like many kinks, temperature play can range from harmless to potentially dangerous. So if you're a beginner, start slowly. You don't want to dive in with the more edgy forms of temperature play like fire play or branding, Pitagora says. Instead, try the tips listed below.Begin Slideshow ADVERTISEMENTADVERTISEMENT RelationshipsI Use Romantasy Books As “Masturbation Material” — Is That Healthy?It’s 2 a.m. and the enemies in my new romantasy book have just turned into lovers — and it’s turning me on more than I expected. This is part of a faby Rebecca FearnOnline DatingReddit’s Dirtiest Pick-Up Lines Will Make You BlushWe’re all familiar with “Hey baby, what’s your sign?” and “If I could rearrange the alphabet, I’d put U and I together.” But what about… diby Erika W. SmithWellness6 Signs You Just Had An OrgasmYou might have heard an orgasm described as a vaginal sneeze or called “la petite mort” — French for “the little death.” Others might describe orby Erika W. SmithRelationshipsDating Is So Bleak, Even The Anxious Girlies Are Becoming AvoidantAre you anxious, avoidant or secure? What’s rarely discussed is whether people can switch from one camp to another. People wear their “anxious” labelby Tanyel MustafaSexThe Sexual Hygiene Habit You Should Never SkipThere are two rules that anyone having anal sex has hopefully heard before: First, always use lube; second, don’t go straight from anal sex to vaginaby Cory StiegBodyIf Your Vulva Is Tingling, This Might Be WhyDepending on the situation, your vulva can sometimes feel wet, itchy, burning, or swollen. Sometimes a new feeling in your vagina is the result of a healthby Erika W. SmithSex17 Steamy & Free Erotic Literature Sitesby Kasandra BrabawSexThe Kama Sutra Sex Positions You Didn’t Know Existedby Lux AlptraumSexWhat To Do When Doggy Style Sex Gets UncomfortableDoggy style is one of the most universally popular sex positions, at least according to both online surveys and Google search data. It requires no flexibilby Cory StiegRelationshipsWhat To Say If You Get Tongue-Tied During Phone Sexby Cory StiegSexOut Of Sexting Ideas? Try Theseby Kimberly TruongSex21 Steamy Erotic Stories Written By Women — & Why They’re Importantby Rachel Kramer BusselADVERTISEMENTADVERTISEMENT