The Negative Psychological Effects Of Holding A Grudge | Mind Cafe

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The Negative Psychological Effects of Holding a Grudge

Psychologists say it harms both your mental and physical health.

Ana WritesAna Writes5 min readApr 5, 2021

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Press enter or click to view image in full sizeBlonde woman turning her head away
Photo by Anete Lusina from Pexels

In life, we all suffer through hurtful events caused by others such as a betraying partner or lying friend. It can be hard to let go of things easily and personally, I have a habit of focusing on the negatives, and whenever someone does something to me that is less than desirable; I can’t help but dwell on it for weeks, sometimes months.

Instead of forgiving instantly, I respond to these painful emotions with anger, hostility, and the desire for revenge. To me, holding a grudge is the only way I can get back at that person. Most of the time, they ask for forgiveness but part of me wants me to make them feel as badly as I did when they did me harm.

Recently, I have been noticing the toll it takes on me to hold these grudges. These feelings often manifest themselves in physical ways such as headaches and even stomachaches. Besides the physical impacts, I notice myself being in a constant bad mood which made me realize that this isn’t payback to the person who did me wrong, it’s just self-inflicted pain.

Why do we hold grudges?

I began wondering why I insisted on holding a grudge even when it was painful to maintain. Holding a…

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